Chapter 4

Amyr had every intention of enjoying Haedya's considerable skill as he had on many occasions during his trips to the second moon, but now as she touched him, his gut wrenched and a cold sweat broke out over his forehead. He had not been lying to Quynn when he said he needed air because he had grown so warm that he had begun to sweat profusely. Haedya had followed him expecting the natural conclusion to their encounters, his pleasure and the reward of a bauble on the morrow, but now as he fought not to retch, he lost all desire for what she would do. Was this guilt he was feeling? Guilt that he was betraying the beautiful young woman who had selflessly pledged to spend her life with him?

A wave of nausea passed through him that was so strong he could not fight it and he pushed Haedya away, turned and vomited violently into the bushes. When he looked back to the young woman watching him curiously, he was disgusted by the sight of her.

Her brows were raised. "Do I not please you, my lord?"

Amyr could not respond to her without behind sick again. Could he have been poisoned at Lord Duo's table? But as he stumbled away from the obliging female, he began to regain his composure. By the time he reached the spot he had ordered Taeron to wait, he felt more like himself. Taeron fell in silently behind him as he returned to the banquet hall.

Amyr regretted that the man he had grown up with had become so sullen in his company. Since he had come of age, Taeron had not turned away any of the females that found any excuse to put themselves in their path, but since Amyr had decided to marry Taeron's half-sister, Taeron had become a sanctimonious prig. It was all the more disappointing to Amyr because their interest in the females had served to bond their friendship after Taeron returned from acting as the imperial guard of the first princess, Amyr's sister. Before that experience, Amyr had never considered Taeron anything more than an annoyance that he had to tolerate like he did his brother Staefyn. In fact, he had been more than a little jealous of his friendship with Staefyn, but since his experiences as Shamara's guard, Taeron had little to do with his brother and Amyr had been glad that Taeron finally realized how deadly dull his brother really was.

On the way back to the banquet hall he kept expecting Taeron to admonish him in some way for his foul behavior, but he didn't say anything. Amyr thought he might feel better about the episode if Taeron would say something. Although he had not gotten the pleasure he was expecting, he certainly was not guiltless in betraying the vows he had given to Quynn. They had not shared the bonding cup yet, and he reasoned that he had not asked Haedya to meet him in the garden, but since she was there, why should he not enjoy one last moment of pleasure with a woman to whom he was not bonded?

Immediately he noticed that Quynn was absent from the table, and as he took his place beside her mother, he looked around the hall to see if she was speaking to someone at another table. He didn't see her anywhere and he felt an intense stab of unease.

He glanced at Lady Trynity. "Where has Quynn gone?"

She shrugged. "I believe she left to freshen up."

"The food didn't agree with her," grumbled Lord Duo.

Amyr looked at her half-cleaned plate. After the foolish mistake he had made in kissing Quynn, even as brief as it had been, he had become achingly aware of her. While he had managed to limit himself to holding her hand as his father asked for the gods' blessing, Amyr had wanted to pull her into his arms, to kiss her like he had that afternoon. He had not intended to do what he had then either, and if Taeron had not stopped him, he would have dishonored her there, in the corridor. Amyr had never felt such a need for a female, and it had grown even greater in the short amount of time they had been apart that afternoon. Sitting next to her had been excruciating, and he tried to distract himself with the food, hoping that if he satisfied that hunger, the one he had for the female whose thigh was so tantalizingly close to his would wane. When he left Quynn's side, he had been hoping to find some relief for his burning body, and when Haedya appeared he thought she would be able to ease his ache. But her practiced touch had disgusted him and filled him with self-loathing. Now his stomach churned unpleasantly as he noticed that Haedya had returned to her duties.

"Don't get sick at the table. You've insulted Duo enough for the night," commented his father, his tone as terse as any other time he scolded Amyr.

"I didn't mean to insult him," he said under his breath. Amyr had not meant to kiss her, had been appalled by the reflex that made him touch his lips to hers, to bring her body against his, but he could not stop himself and he might have done worse in full view of those men that reviled him if their parents had not intervened. By the gods, what had he been thinking? He had not been thinking at all!

Where was she? He looked around for her, even more anxious now by her continued absence. Earlier in the day shortly after leaving her in the hall, he had felt the strong need to return to her, but he had managed to relax with the help of a cup of tea his mother had brewed from leaves that Lady Trynity was cultivating. His mother assured him that he was feeling nervous and that it was a good sign that he was not entering into his union with Quynn lightly. Now Amyr had a hard time shaking a sudden need to see Quynn.

"Would you care for another helping, my lord prince?"

Amyr raised his head to see Haedya waiting. He looked quickly back at his plate and had to push back the nausea again. A trickle of sweat rolled down the side of his face and his body felt uncomfortably moist. Where was Quynn? "I haven't finished," he told Haedya.

"I can remedy that," she purred close to his ear before walking away with a sway of her hips.

Amyr felt sick to his stomach, and he had to swallow back what rose to his throat. Now he knew he wouldn't be able to look Quynn in the eye when she returned. Why had he done something so stupid? Where was she? He was starting to feel disoriented. "I'm going to have to excuse myself."

"Again?" His father raised a brow.

Amyr looked at Lady Trynity. "Will you give my apologies to Quynn? I really don't feel well."

She smiled and patted his hand. "A little pre-nuptial jitters?"

Amyr didn't respond as he left his place. Taeron followed him out of the banquet hall, his hand on the hilt of his imperial sword, which he kept in plain view of the guests. If it weren't for Taeron, Amyr would be dead a few times over by now. No one suspected that Amyr knew the rumors about him or that he might even care. Amyr just couldn't do anything right, not in the eyes of his domineering father, and certainly not in the eyes of the imperial nobility who whispered that he was the bastard of Prince Dilan. Everyone would be happier if he were killed because then the emperor could choose a different successor. No one questioned the paternity of his brother. Staefyn was a few years younger, and he didn't have any of the vices for which Amyr was vilified. If anything happened to him, Amyr knew there would be celebrating in the streets when Staefyn was chosen as his father's successor.

The only person who could look past his stupid mistakes was Quynn. She was so different from any other woman he had known – and Amyr had known far too many, had done things with females that was forbidden to all but a bonded mate. From the first moment he had met Quynn, he had wanted her. When she was near, she was like a flame and he was a helpless moth. That he could not seduce and use her like every other female that crossed his path made the attraction stronger. She was Lord Duo's daughter, and by taking her as his mate, he would strengthen the ties between his father's house and that of his imperial guard. There was no reason why the marriage could not work to everyone's advantage. Amyr would have a bride that would never bore him, his father would be pleased to join their houses and Lord Duo would be happy to keep his daughter in the empire.

During the time she was gone, Amyr feared she would not return or that she would return with the news she had chosen a human mate. He did not want to think about changing his plans. No woman could equal her, and during her absence he had sampled many to find one that could, one that would not challenge him or deny him his need for variety. Sweet, lovable, foolish Quynn. Amyr didn't deserve her love and devotion, but he would spend the rest of his life trying to earn it.

Upon reaching his room, he paced, anxious again about Quynn, and he headed to the door, intent upon going to her room. They had made their oaths and she was his wife. What difference did the bonding ceremony make? He needed her now.

"Where are you going?" Taeron rose and Amyr saw that he had half-drawn his sword. He was the last man who would understand his need. And the first man that would defend the honor of his father's house.

"I wanted some air." The lie was ridiculous and they both knew it.

"If you are not feeling well, I can call for a cup of Lady Trynity's tea," Taeron suggested.

Without waiting for his response, Taeron went to the door and caught a servant to get the tea, but he did not take his eyes from Amyr. Amyr felt hot and he realized that his tunic was sticking to him. He was sick and perhaps the tea would help him. Amyr did not want to go to his mother with his ailment so that she could use her healing Guerani powers on him. She was very powerful and would be able to discover his shame. After her counsel that afternoon to take his vows seriously because he would hurt Quynn if he did not, she would be more than disappointed that only a few hours had elapsed before he was with another woman.

After drinking the tea, his nerves settled and his body cooled. Feeling able to rest, he undressed and laid on top of his bed and Amyr smiled to himself as he realized this was the last night he would sleep alone with Taeron sitting as a guard across the room. Tomorrow night he would be with Quynn, and every night thereafter. The thought was more comforting than he had ever thought possible when he had always grown quickly bored with the females that gave him their bodies to enjoy. He was sure the gods favored their union.

The following morning he awoke much earlier than usual, and at first he wondered if he was just nervous about the marriage vows he would be speaking later in the day when they made the trip to the surface. The anxious feeling had returned and he was glad to see that some of the tea remained from the previous night. After drinking it, he found the ornate tunic that his mother had made for the bonding ceremony. He realized as he dressed that there was unusual activity in the halls. Taeron was already awake, but he had not spoken and he seemed even more taciturn than usual. He looked as if he hadn't slept at all the previous night, and while Taeron had to be wakeful in his duty to guard Amyr, he had never looked this haggard in the morning.

"Didn't you sleep last night?" he asked.

Taeron looked affronted. "I never sleep."

"I won't appreciate it if you fall asleep during the ceremony."

"I don't think there is going to be a bonding ceremony."

Before Amyr could question Taeron further, there was pounding at the door. Taeron pushed past him to open it, and Amyr heard an order for them to report to Lord Duo's office. Now what? He couldn't possibly be reneging on the arrangement! Quynn would be dishonored after the public kiss he had given her! Amyr would do whatever Lord Duo wanted him to so that did not happen.

They walked quickly to the governor's office where Amyr found his parents and Quynn's waiting. Quynn was not with them. When Taeron moved to step out of the room, his father ordered him to stay and close the door.

"We have some disturbing news," Lord Duo began.

"Disturbing news? That is a polite way of putting it!" His father appeared to be angrier than usual. Amyr thought that for once his anger was directed to Duo and not him.

Amyr looked back at the governor. "What is wrong? Where is Quynn?"

"That is a very good question," said Trey. "It seems that she has disappeared along with the hyper-space craft."

"Perhaps she is just testing it," suggested Amyr. He shifted uncomfortably as the tea threatened to resurface.

"Quynn isn't that frivolous," said Trynity. She went to Amyr and took his hands. "I think she must have gotten a case of cold feet."

"Cold feet?" Amyr wondered what the lack of adequate footwear had to do with her taking the spacecraft and leaving him.

"It's an expression from Earth," his father informed him. "In plain Calabrian language, she thought better of her choice to marry you."

Amyr was astounded, and hurt more than he thought he could ever be. "She wouldn't do that to me!" If the tea were not calming him, the panic that it now deadened would shame him.

"I am sure that she loves you," said Trynity. "That is what makes her running away so troubling."

"At first we suspected an abduction, but after questioning those who would have a reason, we learned that no man will have anything to do with her." Lord Duo was glaring at him so Amyr suspected he had heard some very unflattering speculations about his daughter after the kiss he had foolishly given her.

"So we are left with the unpleasant reality that Quynn has run away rather than marry you."

"She'll be back! She promised to marry me." He was finding it hard to breathe and his mother was frowning at him. By the gods, he was not going to let her touch him, to find out how upsetting this was to him. She would find out more than he wished.

"I don't think she's coming back," spoke up Taeron.

Amyr turned to look at him along with everyone else.

"Do you know something, son?" asked Lord Duo.

Taeron glanced briefly at Amyr, then looked back at his father. "I think she discovered something last night that she could not accept."

Amyr felt a frisson of fear race down his spine.

"I don't suppose you will enlighten us about her discovery." Emperor Trey folded his arms over his chest.

The expression on Taeron's face was impassive. "She must have followed my lord prince out of the banquet hall last night."

Amyr couldn't breathe. Quynn had followed him? He looked quickly at Taeron, but his guard didn't return his gaze.

Trey took a step toward Amyr, his eyes blazing with anger. "And what did Quynn see when she followed my son from the hall?" When Taeron didn't respond, Amyr's father did not even pause in raising his hand and bringing it across his cheek so hard that Amyr stumbled back. His mother gasped and reached for him, but her husband swung out his arm to stop her. Amyr felt tears pricking his eyes that his father would strike him with his hand.

When Lord Duo took a step toward him, Taeron stepped between them. "I am sorry, father, but I still have to protect my lord prince, even from you."

"I knew I couldn't trust you." Duo's furious, disgusted gaze hurt Amyr more than the blow his father had given him because Amyr felt closer to his father's imperial guard than he did to the emperor.

Trey grabbed handfuls of Amyr's tunic and jerked him up, tearing the fine fabric. His mother put a hand on his arm and Amyr was glad because he could feel the anger in his father that he was about to use against him and his mother was calming him. Amyr also realized he could read his father's thoughts as he now touched him. He was furious, hurt, disappointed. And he was deeply shamed that his son had hurt the daughter of his dearest friend. Any other time, Amyr would have been excited to learn that he had come into his Guerani power, but now he felt only the pain he had given everyone by the foolish surrender to his worst urges.

"You have dishonored both of our houses!" Trey let him drop and stepped back. "Why am I not surprised?"

Amyr looked away. "I am sorry." The words seemed woefully inadequate.

"I am less concerned about honor and more concerned about Quynn," said Trynity. "We have no idea of where she has gone and no way of finding out for several months if she has returned to the solar system."

Trey snorted. "She's your daughter through and through, isn't she?"

"Give it a rest!" snapped Lady Trynity.

"Enough!" Lord Duo's voice was furious. "I am sure that Quynn won't do anything rash. She'll come back when she has cooled down and realizes that she has not reacted maturely to this ugly business."

"I will go after her," offered Amyr. He had to beg her forgiveness. Even if she couldn't forgive him, he owed her an apology. Amyr knew he didn't deserve her, he never had. He had hoped that the bonding would put an end to the urges he had for other females. Amyr did not want to hurt Quynn. She was his salvation.

"You are not going anywhere," ordered Trey. "Until I decide what to do with you, you will remain in your chambers on Calabria begging the gods for forgiveness and understanding. I hope that they can give it to you because I cannot." He looked past him to Taeron. "Until I say otherwise, you guard him as you would a prisoner. Escort him back to Calabria."

This time Amyr followed Taeron from the room, and neither of them spoke, at least not until they were on the imperial Calabrian transport on their way back to the planet.

After keying in the navigation instructions for the routine trip to the surface in the small shuttle, Taeron took the seat beside Amyr. He kept his gaze straight ahead, staring at the viewer, closing his eyes when the shuttle took off. Amyr could see that he was nervous by the moisture on his brow. The man was perfect except that he had difficulty making space flights and Amyr often teased him about it, but now he was not in a teasing mood.

"Did you see her follow me?" he asked when the craft had cleared the atmosphere of Ulfynaeus and was headed towards the planet. The trip was short, little more than an hour, but it as an hour of misery for Taeron. Now it was an hour of misery for Amyr.

Taeron didn't look at him. "I saw her come out of the kitchen."

"You didn't stop her?"

His lashes lowered a bit as he said, "I made sure she found you."

Amyr wanted to lash out at him, but he knew that Taeron wasn't responsible for his present problems. If he hadn't been with Haedya in the first place, he wouldn't be in this mess. "Maybe you should have warned me."

Now Taeron turned to look at him, blue fire in the depths of his indigo gaze. "You made it quite clear to me, my lord prince, that I was not to interrupt your pleasures."

"Bastard!"

Before Amyr could swing his arm to land the punch that he would enjoy delivering to his self-righteous imperial guard, Taeron caught his fist in his hand and delivered his own blow to Amyr's face. The first blow stunned him, but Taeron struck him again, then again, and when he fell, he kicked him so hard in the ribs that the breath left him.

Taeron jerked him back up and spit in his face, then threw him back so hard that Amyr's head banged against the wall and he saw bright light before everything became black as his body sliding to the floor.