When Steve wakes up, it's no surprise to find Tony already gone. Tony's always gone when he wakes up, though Steve's not sure where he even goes this early, when the sun's barely up. Probably to work on his super-secret new arrowheads or something, before prying eyes can find him. It's a very Tony thing to do, and it makes Steve smile to think about.
What is a surprise, though, is Pepper, still asleep on her pallet. Steve feels a little flare of triumph. He's never been awake before Pepper before, for all that Steve's supposed to be the main caretaker of Tony's house. He watches her sleep, as he rises and dresses. She looks so soft, asleep, and small. He's never even considered it before, but Pepper really is just a girl. He could probably carry her, if he had to, he's grown enough with the regular meals these past few months, though it probably wouldn't be good for the baby if he did. Physically, though, he probably could carry her, steal her away somewhere.
That's when the idea comes to him, the one he's been waiting for ever since that first night in this tent. Pepper's the key, the one thing that's going to make his escape work. For some reason, realizing that doesn't have the effect Steve expected. He doesn't feel relief, or happiness or excitement, or anything he thought he'd feel, once he came up with a plan. It must be shock, he decides, and goes to wake her up.
It takes Steve two days to work out the details. What he's got to do is get Pepper alone, and somehow unconscious. Then, he can put them both on a horse, not Dummy, but one of the full-grown ones that can hold them both. He'll just have to ride off, then. Everyone will be so frantic over Pepper missing that they won't even remember about him. Or if they do, they'll jump to any number of conclusions that will buy him time. They might think he and Pepper were both kidnapped by an enemy of Tony's or maybe that he and Pepper ran off together. It doesn't matter what they think, only that they don't know the truth, at least not right away. By the time anyone figures out what really happened, Steve will be at his old village with Pepper as insurance that they won't attack it. And once the tribe agrees not to attack, Steve can release Pepper and they can all just go home. No one will get hurt. It'll be perfect.
The only problem, as far as Steve can see, is that he's not sure how he's going to knock Pepper out without hurting her. He thinks maybe Bruce has something that can help him, and he's right. All he has to do is slip off to the healing tent after lunch and fake insomnia. Bruce hands him another little bottle.
"This'll work," he says, cheerfully. "Don't use too much, though, just a sip will do. You'll be out like a light in no time."
Steve thanks him and puts the little bottle in his pocket. Tonight, he thinks. Tonight's when he'll do it. He spends the rest of the day going about his business as usual. He mends and repairs with Pepper, then goes to see Tony and the horses. He feels a little wistful that this is their last moment like this together, just the two of them. He's really going to miss Tony. He thinks about it again at supper, just before he puts his plan into action. He's going to miss these two, and his life here, but he knows that if he just gets back to his old village, back to where he was before, his life will be normal again.
"Pepper," he says, once Tony's gone to talk to the other heads of houses. "Do you want to take a walk?"
She smiles at him brightly, and Steve immediately feels bad, but it's too late to take the question back, now. "Sure," she says and helps him to his feet.
Steve leads them, for once, in a winding path to the paddock, where he knows the horses are. He can feel the small bottle in his pocket full of sleeping draught. He's thinking as they walk, arm in arm, about how he's going to get Pepper to drink it. He's still considering by the time they get to the fence.
"This is a nice spot," he says, stopping their procession and takes the bottle out of his pocket.
Pepper laughs, easily and climbs up to sit precariously on the top rail of the fence. "Of course you think so," she says. "It's Tony's favorite spot and you're head over heels for him."
"W-what?" Steve's breath catches in his throat. "That's not true."
"Steve," Pepper says slowly. "I live with both of you. I see how you two look at each other. It's no secret. Everyone can see it."
She gives Steve a moment to process this, then says, casually, "Now, what was it you dragged me out here to say? If something's wrong, you know I'll do anything I can to help you."
At that moment, Steve realizes just how selfish he's being. Not just because by executing this plan, he's destroying Pepper's life, though that's certainly a big part of it, but he's also putting the lives of everyone in his old village at risk, if this plan doesn't work out. All those lives might be taken because Steve wants to go back to the village that hadn't really treated him that well to begin with. He was only ever orphan to them, and his mother, before she died, had been a whore.
When he looks at this village, though, he can see that they take care of their orphans. He even knows some of them, the ones that work near him in the fields, Billy, Tommy, Teddy and Eli. These kids, the ones without anyone to represent them, they always get fed and there are families that have taken them in, loved them as their own. It really isn't a bad village, when you get down to it.
And in any case, he realizes, what does he really expect to happen when he gets back to his village, that they'll just take him back, even though he's clearly pregnant and traveling without a husband? They'll call him a whore, like they did to his mother, and he'll have to go into their tents, like she had, and do whatever it was with them that caused her so much pain. No, that's not a life he wants.
Plus, he knows he'd miss them, Pepper and Tony. Pepper had been his first friend here, kind to him since the day he'd arrived. He'd miss her laugh and her smile and the way she takes charge when things need to get done, even when it's not her duty. And Tony, Steve would miss him, too, miss the look on his face when he's with the horses, and the way he curls an arm around Steve before they go to sleep.
Tony's always watched out for Steve, done his best by him, except for that first night. Even that night, though, well, Steve has a lot of bad feelings about it. He remembers being terrified and humiliated. What he doesn't remember, though, is it being painful, and that's because it wasn't. Actually, he remembers it feeling really good. At the time, that had been worse than pain, because it confused him so badly. But he can't help thinking that if Tony wanted to do that to him now, it would be different. There wouldn't be any fear, because Tony isn't just some man that might hurt him, he's someone Steve likes, maybe even loves. And the shame isn't there, either, because there's nothing shameful about being Tony's bride. It doesn't hurt him anymore to think about himself like that. The feelings he does get when he thinks about it are soft and fluttery. Maybe it's just the baby causing those feelings, but still, it's Tony's baby, and Steve can't pretend that doesn't do anything for him, just a little.
All Steve can figure is that he's been so focused on escaping this whole time that he never even realized he wants to stay. It's a nice thought, freeing, in a way.
"Actually, never mind," he says, smiling. He puts the bottle back into his pocket. "It's nothing. Let's head back."
What happens next happens so fast Steve can't even react. Something, he's not sure what, probably an animal, startles one of the horses clustered nearby. The horse rears up on his hind legs and lets out an ear splitting whinny, jostling the fence and making Pepper lose her balance. Her arms windmill out, and Steve doesn't even have time to reach for her before she's falling backward, into the paddock.
"Pepper!" he cries, trying to climb over the fence. It's not easy, with the baby in the way, but he manages it. It's not a long fall, but the paddock is full of rocks around the edge, and when he sees her lying on the ground, eyes closed, he fears the worst. He can't see any blood, but he doesn't want to move her to check, in case she's hurt something inside her. And even if he thought it was a good idea to move her, he probably couldn't carry her more than a few feet. He has to go for help, it's the only option, but he can't leave her here alone, either, What if something else happens while he's gone?
In the end, he does the only thing he can think of.
"Dummy!" he calls, and the horse trots over immediately. "Dummy," he says, carefully, looking the horse straight in the eyes. "I need you to watch Pepper, okay? You have to watch her and make sure nothing happens to her. Can you do that?"
Dummy whickers, which Steve thinks means yes. It takes him a minute to climb back over the fence, but when he does he's off running. He's worn out by the time he gets back to the fire, but he knows he can't rest now. He calls for Tony, instead, and the man's by his side in an instant, clutching his arm.
"Steve, what happened? Are you okay? Where's Pepper?" He asks, real panic in his eyes.
"She's hurt," Steve says between breaths. "She's at the paddock and she fell and now she's hurt."
"Take us there," Tony says, gesturing to Bruce to follow, and Steve does, as fast as he can.
The baby feels like it's doing somersaults by the time they reach the paddock and Steve's panting, hands on his knees, but Dummy's there standing guard over Pepper, just like Steve asked him to. "Good boy," he says, breathlessly.
Bruce climbs over the fence first, Tony right on his heels. Steve knows he won't make another trip across, so he stays where he is, ready to help any way he can.
"She's okay to move," he hears Bruce say after several tense moments of silence, then he and Tony are hoisting her up, getting her carefully across the fence. Steve follows along uselessly as they carry her back to the healing tent. Once they're inside, they lay her down on a pallet, and Steve sees just how young and vulnerable she looks, just like she did whenever he made his stupid plan in the first place. He sits down hard onto the ground.
"I never meant for anyone to get hurt," Steve whispers. Tony glances at him sharply before looking back at Pepper.
"What can I do, Bruce?" he asks, but Bruce shakes his head.
"Nothing we can do," he says, and he looks almost as distraught as Tony at the realization. "It's a head injury. Either she'll wake up or she won't. Best we can do now is pray." Then he walks out of the tent, shoulders tight and gait stiff.
"They were going to get married," Tony says dully, sinking down next to Steve, looking dazed. "After the baby was born. They'd already approached me about it."
Steve lets out a strangled sob he just can't hold in anymore. "I'm sorry, Tony," he says, and he is. He's so, so, sorry that he ever thought up that stupid plan, that he ever wanted to use Pepper that way. "I'm sorry."
"Not your fault," Tony says, and he reaches over blindly to take Steve's hand, eyes still fixed on his sister.
"It is, though," Steve admits, and it hurts to say. "It's all my fault."
Tony finally turns to look at him. "What happened?" he asks, as though he's half-afraid to find out.
Steve tells him the whole stupid thing. He tells him about how used he felt, after that first night, and how much it hurt to see Clint going through the same thing, for all Clint took it better than Steve. He tells him about realizing how he could make a run for it, without anyone getting hurt, with Pepper's help. He tells him everything, and Tony just listens, sad-eyed and silent.
"I never meant for anyone to get hurt," he repeats, at the end.
Tony takes a deep, ragged breath, after Steve's finished talking. "I would have let you go, Steve, if you'd asked."
"What?" Steve asks, head spinning. "But, you said-" he falters.
"I was drunk that night," Tony says, and looks away, back at Pepper. "Drunk and delirious from two days in the desert sun, when I told you those things. But if you'd have asked, I would have let you. It would have hurt like hell, but I'd have done it. I love you, Steve, and I'd do anything for you, even fake your death, let you escape, if that's what you wanted."
Steve takes a minute to absorb it all, then says, "I lov-"
"Don't say things you don't mean," Tony says, and drops his hand at last. "Please leave, Steve. I want to be alone with my sister."
"Tony," Steve tries, but Tony doesn't look at him, just keeps staring at Pepper's face.
So Steve leaves, goes to sit outside. He finds Bruce there, staring at his hands. Steve wants to tell him he's sorry, that he didn't mean it, but the phrases are starting to lose their meaning, even to him.
Dawn comes and goes, and Steve sees the rest of the tribe getting up, starting their day. Quite a few stop by to check on Pepper and their house, and Steve steps up and does his duty, thanking them for their concern and swearing to pass it on to Tony. He doesn't go back inside, though. He just stays outside, intercepting well-wishers, and in between visitors, thinking.
He really messed up, and he knows it. Tony, well, he sounded like he didn't want Steve around anymore. It hurts more than it should, considering Steve was still planning on leaving him just last night. He's changed his mind, sure, but it doesn't work like and he knows it. It's Tony's choice, now and Steve will do whatever Tony wants, stay or go.
Tony's been by himself for hours. He can't even bring himself to pray. All he can do is watch Pepper lie there, and think about how alone he is. His bride doesn't want him, never has. His baby's going be take away from him by the man that played him so completely. His sister might never wake up. Tony has no one left.
How could he have been so stupid, as to make plans for the future he knew would never happen? He always knew he'd be alone at the end. He'd killed his mother, and now his sister, too. The baby might not survive, and even if it does, Tony'll never even see it. Steve will take it away, and Tony'll be left with nothing. Isn't this the future his father warned him about?
He's not sad, exactly. He doesn't really feel anything at all, actually. Just emptiness. Like there's nothing in the world to live for, like there's no point in anything. It's why he doesn't cry, even at the darkest hour, when he's sure Pepper's going to stop breathing at any second. He just stares and waits for the inevitable.
At about noon, Steve hears a shout from inside the tent for Bruce to come quickly. It's Tony's voice, and Steve knows things have either gone very wrong, or improved drastically. Either Pepper's awake or she's dead, and Steve's not sure he can handle the suspense of just standing outside, waiting for answers. That's why he follows Bruce in, though he's got no right to be there, not now that Tony doesn't want him.
He takes great gulping gasps of relief when he realizes Pepper's eyes are open and he sees Bruce doing the same. Tony's crouched down in front of her, with tears in his eyes, clutching her hand. Pepper looks at them all, Steve and Bruce standing and her brother kneeling by her side, then smiles groggily.
"What happened?" she asks, hoarsely, and Bruce snaps into action, checking her over and asking her questions. Whatever he finds seems to please him, because he's smiling by the end of the examination, taking her other hand and talking to her softly enough that Steve can't hear what he's saying. Tony, still clutching Pepper's hand, looks up at Steve, relief and joy in his smile. Then he seems to remember who, exactly, he's smiling at and the smile falls away, replaced by a blank mask that makes Steve feel cold.
He turns to leave, but Pepper says, "Wait, Steve! I need to thank you for getting help so quick."
"Thank Dummy," Steve tells her, and gets out of their way.
The next few days aren't comfortable. Pepper's well enough the day after her fall to go back to their tent, but Bruce doesn't want her working in the fields for a while, just in case. That's fine, though. Steve leaves her to rest and goes out by himself. He works hard to make up for her absence, and for the part he played in it. After lunch, Steve is as quiet as he can possibly be around the tent and still get the work done. Tony's nowhere to be found, though Steve suspects he's out in the pasture thanking Dummy for his newfound obedience. At suppertime, Tony comes in from that direction, backing up Steve's theory. Steve helps Pepper to the fire, and sits down next to her. Tony sits on his other side, like usual, but he doesn't talk to Steve. He leans around him, briefly, to touch Pepper's arm and smile at her, but other than that, he just acts like Steve doesn't exist. Later that night, in their bed, it's the same. Tony doesn't even touch him, just rolls so his back's to Steve and goes to sleep.
Pepper's cleared for work in the fields again after three days. She's good as new, as far as Steve can tell, and he's glad for it. He never meant for any harm to come to her. He loves her like a sister, and he knows she feels the same, even if she doesn't know about his part in her accident. He just can't bring himself to tell her, and he doesn't think Tony has, either, for some reason.
"Honestly," Pepper says, as they're walking out to the fields. "I don't know what you two are fighting about, but it's gone on long enough. I think it's time you made up, don't you?"
Steve doesn't say, 'Tony doesn't want me, anymore.' He wants to, but he knows if he says it, she'll want to help him. He doesn't deserve her help, not after what he did. It's his own fault Tony doesn't want him, and he's just going to have to deal with that.
Three days turns into a week, turns into two weeks, and Steve and Tony still aren't talking. It probably has the potential to go on a lot longer, but then Steve wakes up one night in pain and Tony's there immediately.
"Shh," Tony says, holding Steve's hand. "Shh, baby. Tell me what's wrong. Should I get Bruce?"
"It's the baby," Steve manages, between pained contractions. "Something's wrong."
"I'll get Bruce," Tony says, and goes to stand up, but Steve can't make his hand let go.
"Don't leave me," he says, and Tony nods, kneeling back down.
"Pepper!" he calls, and she jerks away, sitting up. "Something's wrong with the baby. Get Bruce!"
She's out of bed and outside in an instant.
"It's gonna be okay," Tony tells him, and pushes Steve's hair back off his face. "It's gonna be okay." And for the first time in a while, Steve believes it.
It's a good thing it's dark, Tony think vaguely, as Pepper reappears with Bruce, because both of them were just running stark naked through the camp. Then Bruce starts to examine Steve and Tony puts all his concentration into not panicking. After various poking and prodding, and asking Steve questions, Bruce looks at Tony.
"It's false labor," he says, matter-of-factly. "Probably caused by stress."
"Stress?" Steve asks, still breathing hard from the pain.
"Stress," Bruce repeats. "With everything that's been going on lately, with Pepper's accident and you two fighting, your body can't handle it. The baby'll be fine, but only if you keep yourself under control for the rest of the pregnancy. Whatever's going on between you two, it needs to end, for the sake of the baby."
After that it's all pretty routine. Bruce gives Steve some herbs to take to help with the pain, Steve promises to take them, Bruce gives them both a stern glare, then Pepper and Bruce both go back to bed, leaving Steve and Tony alone, in silence.
"I'm sorry," Tony starts, but Steve shakes his head.
"It's my fault, Tony. I'm the one who should be sorry. I know you don't want me, but I just keep thinking-"
"Wait," Tony interrupts, surprised. "You think I don't want you?"
"The night Pepper fell," Steve explains. "You wouldn't let me tell you I loved you. And you made me leave."
"Because you just finished telling me you didn't want to be with me and never had. Or were you planning on escaping because you secretly enjoyed my company?"
"I told you I changed my mind," Steve says, defensively. "Before I even realized I'd done it, I changed my mind. I haven't wanted to leave for a long time, I just thought I did."
This whole thing is giving Tony a headache. "So, wait, let's get this straight. Do you or do you not want to be with me?"
"I do," Steve says, and he's so earnest and open that Tony believes him.
"Okay," he says. "Let's do it, then. Let's be together again. Simple as that."
Surprisingly, it really is as simple as that. For the time being, at least. Tony's sure that soon something will come along to fuck everything up, but until then, they're golden. They start spending time together again, before supper and in the evenings. It's awkward at first, but they push through it and make it work. The best part, the very best part, is getting to cuddle with Steve again, at night.
Then, of course, all of Tony's cuddling pays off. One night, a few days after the false labor incident, Steve rolls over to look at him after Pepper's asleep, when Tony's pretty close to sleep, himself.
"Tony," he says, almost hesitantly. "You know that thing we did to make the baby?"
That wakes Tony up like almost nothing else could have. "Yeees," he says, slowly. "What about it?"
Steve blushes and asks, "Is that only for making babies, or could we do it anytime? Like, for instance, now?"
Tony makes what he's sure are a series of incoherent noises while Steve just stares. Eventually, he pulls himself together enough not to just come all over Steve's thigh. "Yes, we can definitely do that. Are you sure?" Because Tony wants this, he really, really wants this, but not if Steve doesn't. He never wants to hurt Steve like that again.
"I'm sure," Steve says. "I wasn't in the best mindset for it, the first time, but I think now would be better."
So Tony goes for it. He takes a long, luxurious look at Steve's body, all swelled up with Tony's baby, and thinks that this is the hottest thing he's ever done. He reaches out to touch Steve's nipples, like he did that first time. This time, though, Steve arches up without shame, letting himself feel the pleasure. They start to leak, too, after a few passes of Tony's thumb, and his eyes might roll back in his head, a little bit.
When he trails his hand down Steve's belly, the baby kicks out at the feel of his hand. Tony just adds it to the list of ways in which this could not get any hotter and keeps going.
"Don't mind us, little guy," he tells the baby. "We're going to have sex now, but don't worry, you won't feel it." Finally, all that baby development knowledge is paying off.
Steve keens when Tony takes his cock in hand, gives it a few strokes. It's a good sound, and Tony doesn't even care if Pepper wakes up, at this point. She won't say anything, or if she does, it'll just be teasing. She's happy for them, he knows, happy enough to put up with them having sex while she's asleep in the tent.
Tony takes his time stretching Steve. He likes the feel of it, the heat around his fingers. It's nothing compared to when he has it around his dick, though. He starts to rock gently in and out, and takes hold of Steve's cock again.
"This is how we made the baby," he whispers, and Steve cries out, though from the words or the sensations, Tony doesn't know. He hopes it's both. "And after this baby's born, this is how we'll make the next."
It doesn't last long; most good things don't. Tony manages to hold out just long enough to make Steve come, then he lets himself go. He's careful not to collapse on top of Steve and the baby in him, but it's a near thing.
They lie together, afterward. Tony knows Steve has to be leaking everywhere, but he doesn't seem to mind. Finally, Tony says, "So what did you think?"
"It was good," Steve decides "Better than last time."
"And next time, it'll be even better," Tony promises.
Steve rolls his head to face him and says the magic words. "Prove it."