Hi, my name is TidVS and I like capital letters and excessive exclamation marks.
Tid: I love Captain Jack Sparrow.
Lauderdale: So you've said the many times you've mentioned you wanted to sleep with him.
Tid: I wanna sleep with him.
Lauderdale: Would ya stop?! Anyways, chappie four up!! Disclaimer…(looks nervously at Tid, who's staring at her) Tiddoesn'townPotCorJackSparrow hides
Tid: WAHHHHH!!!!
Chapter four: The DUDE!
Jack: (walks in shop, singing a twisted up version of the Munchkin song) We're the Lollipop Cult, the Lollipop Cult…ah, something to rid of my chains….
Mr. Brown: (SNORRRE!)
Jack: NOT ME, I SWEAR!! Oh…(pokes Mr. Brown, does a can-can, sings "I Will Survive" (complete with dance number), and claps his hands forty times)
Mr. Brown: (still sleeping)
Jack: (uses hammer thingy but fails, then gets a hot hook-shaped iron thingy and looks at Tid and Lauderdale, raising an eyebrow)
Tid: JACK'S ON FIRE!! (swoon)
Jack: (smirks and pokes the donkey on the butt with the poker)
Tid: Jack just poked the ass in the ass…oh I crack myself up…(falls over)
Donkey: I'm in the wrong movie….Ow!!! I shouldn't be here!! My ass hurts…SHREK!!!
Jack: (disturbed)
Chains: (caught in wheel thingy and break)
Door: (opens reaaal slowly)
Tid: IT'S FREDDY!! NOOOOO!!!!! (sobs)
Lauderdale: (clouts Tid)
Jack: (disappears)
Will: (walks in, singing a twisted-up version of Barney's, "I Love You") …With a great big gun and a shot between the eyes…hey…Mr. Brown…dude, you're reaal stoned, dude.
Mr. Brown: (SNORRRRE!)
Will: The hammer's more stoned…
Hammer: I'll trade you a hammer for a screw.
Will: RAPIST!! And the hat…where'd that come from?!
Jack: Don't you dare even think of touching my hat.
Will: (thinks of touching Jack's hat)
Jack: You thought it! You must die!
Will: You're the one who threatened Miss Swann, so you must die!!
Tid: WILL MUST DIE FOR THINKING JACK MUST DIE!!!
Lauderdale: TID MUST DIE FOR THINKING WILL MUST DIE FOR THINKING JACK MUST DIE!!!
Amy, Tid's Sister: LAUDERDALE MUST DIE FOR THINKING TID MUST DIE FOR THINKING WILL MUST DIE FOR THINKING JACK MUST DIE!!!
Amanda, Tid's Best Friend: (dies)
Will: (is confused, and starts to fight Jack)
Jack: Dude, it ain't wise to mess wit a pirate, dude.
Will: (clears his throat) Who said you were a pirate?
Jack: Who said you were a man?!?!
Donkey: Daaaaannnnnggggg…!
Will and Jack: (stare)
Donkey: (grumbles)
Will: (gets Jack stuck with his sword)
Jack: You Freddy Krueger….
Tid: ULTIMATE INSULT!!!!!
Will: Boo-frickedy-hoo.
Jack: (growls and swings madly at Will, who trips and falls off of balance thingy) HAHA!
Lauderdale: Tid's favorite part….
Jack: (flips upside-down)
Tid: (drools and claws at screen)
Lauderdale: DOWN, GIRL!!!
Will: Was I supposed to do something here?
Jack: (falls and sends Will flying)
Will: Neeeeeeevermind….
Jack: (looks around) Where'd the eunuch go?
Will: Happy birthday!! (cuts rope)
Jack: But it's not my…(goes flying) WHOA!!!
Jack and Will: (fight on rafters)
Will: Give up!!
Jack: Hm…no.
Jack and Will: (flip off the rafters)
Will: (tries to stab Jack)
Jack: (stands there)
Will: (misses)
Jack: (jumps onto fireplace and pours dust on Will, kicking his sword out of his hands) Chocolate-covered Orlando….
Tid: Yuk.
Lauderdale: YUM!
Jack: I feel betrayed. (aims pistol at Will) Move.
Will: You cheated.
Jack: Pirate.
Tid: FREE PIRATE!! RUUUUN JACK!!!
Will: I will not move and just let you escape.
Jack: Pretty please?
Will: No.
Jack: With Elizabeth on top?
Will: What will she be wearing?
Jack: (disturbed)
Mr. Brown: (hits Jack over head with bottle)
Tid: YOU FREDDY KRUEGER!!!! (sobs)
Jack: Jingle bells…(passes out)
Norrington: (runs in) I'm convenient!! Thank you Mr. Brown, I'm giving you the credit and not Will, which makes Tid laugh hysterically.
Will: O.o
Tid: Better believe it, baby!
Mr. Brown: Just civic my duty service….just service my civic duties….(passes out)
Norrington and Will: (stare)
Jack: (snore)
Lauderdale: Wrong, wrong, wrong. All wrong.
Tid: Shut up, traitor.
Lauderdale: I promise you, readers, you WILL see less of us in the next chapter.
Tid: Hell, this might as well be a commentary.
Lauderdale: I think it is.
Tid: Oh……REVIEW!!
So...I have a Christmas song stuck in my head.