Malik Buys A Flag

Disclaimer: Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or Halo or Red vs Blue, nuff said.

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While Malik was making his way to the 'store', the three enemy Blues were gathered around the tank. "Hey, I'll let you guys in on a little secret," Kaiba said before facing the others, "I got this girl on the outside," he said smugly.

Yugi raised an eyebrow, "Wow...girlfriend or wife?". Kaiba shook his head, "Nah, girlfriend. I was thinking about asking her to marry me, but then all this business and this thing started...I didn't have the chance," he sighed.

"But are you gonna marry her after this?" Yugi inquired.

"I'm not gonna get married!"

Kaiba and Yugi looked at Ryou, "My dad once told me, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" he asked, a happy tone in his voice.

"Ryou...," Kaiba walked over to his teammate, his voice low, "Did you just call my girlfriend a cow?" he demanded.

Yugi shook his head, "No, I think he called her a slut," he offered.

"Wait, no I did-,"

"Listen, Ryou," Kaiba hissed, "I could listen to you insult my girlfriend all day, but I got much more important things for you to do,"

"Great...," Ryou muttered.

Kaiba ignored him, "See...there's this general,"

"Right...a general guy," Yugi said quickly.

"Anyway, there's this general that comes around to make random inspections at bases. So what I want you to go into the base, and stand by the flag at attention until he comes," Kaiba explained to his teammate.

Ryou looked at him for a moment, "Ok...um...when will he be here?" he asked.

Yugi shrugged, "Who knows, could be a day, could be a week,".

"So...you want me to stand at attention next to a flag...for a week?" Ryou asked slowly.

Kaiba shook his head, "You don't sound very grateful, Ryou. This is the most important job here at this base! You're going to be right next to the flag!" he said in a dramatic voice. Ryou scratched his helmet, "What's so important about a flag?".

"Goddammit, didn't anyone tell you anything before you got here?" Kaiba demanded angrily. Ryou held up his hands, "Hey, no one told me anything about a flag, guys!" he said defensively.

"Oh God...Yugi, tell him the importance of our flag, please,"

Yugi nodded and looked at his newest teammate, "Ok...it's complicated. See we," he gestured to himself, Ryou and Kaiba, "are Blue! The flag is blue!"

"It's just important, Ryou," Kaiba interjected, "Trust us. The first thing the General is going to want to do when he gets here, is to inspect the flag. Now go in the base...far away from us, until he shows up!" he ordered.

Ryou nodded and started walking away. "Remind me why he's playing...," Kaiba whispered to Yugi. "A friend of ours," the King of Games replied.

"Um guys?" Ryou called out to them, stopping halfway to the base.

"Sonofa...WHAT RYOU?" Kaiba yelled at him.

"How...how will I know it's him?"

Yugi spoke up to keep Kaiba from exploding, "There's only three of us out here, Ryou. It's gonna be a guy that doesn't look like any of us!" he explained.

"Ok thanks!" Ryou waved and went inside the building.

Kaiba shook his head again as he turned his back to the base to look at Yugi, "That albino is so friggin' stupid...,"

"Um...Kaiba?"

"Goddammit...," Kaiba turned around to face Ryou, "WHAT IS IT, RYOU!".

Ryou twiddled his fingers together, "Sorry for calling your girlfriend a slut earlier!" he shouted.

"RYOU! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN THERE, YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Kaiba roared at the top of his lungs. As poor Ryou ran back inside the base, Kaiba heard a muffled giggling behind him.

"Yugi...," he turned around, "Are you laughing at me?" he demanded.

"Excuse me, sir?"

Kaiba closed his eyes and made a fist at his side, "Dear God in Heaven, Ryou. If I turn around and you're not inside that base, I...I will not be held responsible for what I do!"

"Hey, what did I do?"

"One...,"

"Oh c'mon, I didn't do anything!"

"Two...,"

"Ok ok ok! Jesus...,"

Kaiba smiled behind his visor as he heard booted footsteps make their way to the base, "Finally...,"

-Inside the base...-

Malik shook his head as he walked through the building, "What the hell was he so mad about?" he asked himself. He entered a large square room and saw a person in dark blue armor next to a blue flag.

Ryou snapped to attention, "Wow, you got here fast!" he exclaimed. Malik jerked a thumb to the direction he came from, "What's with everyone being so rude, today?" he asked Ryou. The blue armored Hikari shook his head, "I'm not, sir! What can I get you?" he asked politely.

Malik sighed in relief, "Finally, someone with a little respect!". Ryou nodded excitedly, "Yessir! I assume you're here for this!" he said, turning to the flag. Malik looked at the Blue flag, then around the room, "Is this all you have?" he asked.

"Yessir!"

"Aw man...wait, what about elbow grease?"

"Um...no,"

"Headlight fluid?"

"Sorry...no sir. Just this flag," Ryou said pointing to the Blue cloth on a pole.

Malik sighed, "Figures...well I can't just go back empty handed. I guess I'll just take this then,". He walked to the flag while Ryou just stood there.

"Uh...sure, ok, I guess,".

"Man...the others are gonna give me so much crap when I come back with just this stupid flag...," Malik muttered as he walked out.

-Outside...-

Kaiba cracked his knuckles, "Well that's enough blabbing from us both...," he turned to the flag and grinned widely, "How about we take this bad boy out for a spin?" he asked Yugi. "Um...wait what do you mean?" his teammate asked.

"I mean get inside and we'll go!"

Yugi looked at the tank, then back at Kaiba, "I can't drive that thing...,". Kaiba stared at him, "Are you telling me you aren't armored-certified?" he asked. Yugi nodded, "Kaiba, I can't even work the fuckin' sniper rifle, much less a big-ass tank!"

Kaiba walked over to the tank and started banging his visor against the tank, "Holy crap! Who the hell is running this army?" he asked, laughing in the process.

-In the Real World-

"IT IS ME, KAIBA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Brian laughed evilly as he sat in his large seat while Mokuba looked at him like he was crazy.

"You need to cut down on the soda, Brian,"

"Shut up, Mokie...,"

-Blood Gulch-

Ryou left the base and saw Kaiba and Yugi arguing about something near the tank, "Hey guys! Just thought I should let you know...the General came by and picked up the flag!" he reported.

Kaiba waved him off, "Yeah, fine, whatever, Ryou!" he yelled, completely ignoring him. He turned back to Yugi, "I'm just saying, why would they send a tank to a group of soldiers who don't know how to drive the damn thing?".

Yugi shrugged and a few moments of silence passed. That's when Kaiba finally realized what Ryou had told him.

"Wait a second...what did he just say?"

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Kilnorc: hope that's good! look for more "episodes" coming soon! hehehehehehe...ja ne!