I'm so sorry for the long waiting for next chap but it seems like no one cares so I'm very thankful to everyone who has read the story

please write me a review and make my day :)

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After this little accident, well it's easier to talk about it like an accident ... I was totally exhausted, I guess I have spent two hours in the bathroom just in case that I didn't want to face Derek. He was really in a bad mood, tomorrow it was his first day as an intern, sure Derek didn't give up his dreams I did, but who cared?

I made sure he is sleeping before I opened the door and moved to the living room, I was totally exhausted but sleeping wasn't possible for me right now.

I was bleeding and for some minutes I was really worried but I decided not to be, who cares, bleeding doesn't hurt and the death would be peaceful.

Shame, the bleeding stopped and I was alive, again, like a soldier who had to be prepared for another war, another fight. Sounds like I'm very pathetic these days. Who cares.

I tried to turn on the TV but these stupid shows just reminded me about our empty lives. Sure, it was 2 am, and normal people were in their beds so there weren't any intelligent program in it.

Kyle gave me two days off and because I have to see my doctor I have other two days technically 4 days. I have to see Mike, the OB/GYN from the local hospital, he has a private practice and because he married one of "Kyle's girls" and he is something like his cousin or something he helps us, just some tests of blood that we don't have AIDS, it's not possible we are very carefully but people should be sure right?

I have no idea what I will do the whole days, maybe I should take a walk or something. Walking deprives me, you can see happy faces around you, I learned how not to be jealous of other people's lives but still people always want more that they have.

Staring in to the celling is a boring thing, so after an hour of it I decided I could clean, I started cleaning the kitchen and noticed how such a pig my husband is. Really this 2 weeks dirty cup isn't mine!

Derek woke up early, surely he wanted to be at work in time to show people how good student he is.

But we all know who he is, don't we?

Ok I have spent the whole day watching the TV and eating the ice cream, something what I haven't done in a loong time, I invited my friend, Maria. We work together and we are kind the same, she is nice, dark haired girl, 4 years older than me, she has a boyfriend too but she is planning on giving up the job in a few months, she saved all the money for the university and now she finally wants to start her new life.

When she arrived, we made a popcorn, watched some romantic movies, laughed, bubbled, I really felt like a 20 year old, it was fun. I really enjoyed the day.

"Addie, aren't you planning on giving up ...?"

"Giving up? "

"You can do better than this"

"I .... "

"I saw you yesterday, I'm not blind Ads, you should find something better, you can do better than this, you were miserable but not it's much worse, pick up yourself, leave this Derek and start again, don't you want to move to Boston with us?"

"What about Jeffrey?"

"Well I didn't say you will live with us forever but for a while, then you can find a job, find a flat, start again" she giggled

"You should try...."

I looked at her and I knew she is right but I wasn't in the mood for it right now

"So when are you going to see Mike? "

"Tomorrow 8 am"

"Ok, same here, will you come to my place? "

"Yeah sure"

"see you tomorrow then"

"take care Adds, "

"love you Mary "

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the next chapter : seeing the doc, well and then Addison's fight for a new life will start :)

please review :)