Baby Got Back
Mr. Sandman's a dick. Apparently living through the retard live-action of Eight Legged Freaks hadn't been bad enough. Now the weird aliens crawled into my dreams and killed Idris Elba just as he was about to boink me into oblivion. How fucking rude was that?! Seriously- the nerve!
I woke up snarling, chest heaving as I bolted upright and searched the dimly lit room for my attackers. It took me several heart-pounding moments to fully understand I wasn't on some deserted island with a hunky Englishman, nor was I surrounded by aliens that could've been Satan's head lice. No. I was in the living room, on our dilapidated pullout bed with Danny tucked next to me. The lucky-duck managed to sleep like the dead even after the attack. Must be nice.
Taking a deep breath, I scrubbed at my face wearily and stretched out my legs. The stitches pulled tight, and the wounds stung like hundreds of tiny, annoying paper cuts. My breath hitched at the tightening in my chest thanks to the bruises I'd received from my first encounter with Pakkun. The jerk.
Groaning, I rubbed my tender sternum absently while I mentally cataloged the aches and pains. After ten I stopped counting and just concluded that I was one giant bruise. Talking and flickering light brought my gaze up, and I found the tv running quietly on the anime network. Face twisted in rage, Inuyasha released his Tessaiga and slew a demon ten times his size.
I could sure use a sword like that...
Danny shifted, and I glanced down to find his face scrunched up, and his small hands balled into fists. Like I said, Mr. Sandman's a dick. Placing a hand on his back, I gently rubbed soothing circles and after a moment he relaxed a little.
Awareness prickled my skin, I'd completely forgotten about Pakkun. The light of the tv glinted off his helmet, catching my eye and I spied him laying on the floor behind Danny. Silhouetted by the glow of the tv, the alien made no movement or even a sound, yet I felt the intensity of his ever watchful gaze. It unnerved me that I hadn't noticed him moments ago and that I probably wouldn't have seen him at all if he didn't want me too.
Creepy, bastard...
Gently, I tucked the covers around Danny and pressed my pillow against him before getting up. The boy wrapped an arm around the pillow and sighed contentedly as he squeezed the life out of it. I found my phone adhered to my thigh and couldn't even bring myself to look at the time after peeling it off. An educated guess would be oh-fuck-thirty in the morning. Way too early, and way too late to be conscious, much less doing anything but I wasn't going back to sleep anytime soon.
Thinking lite weight thoughts, I eased out of the bed and didn't straighten until both my feet were on the cool floor. I started for the kitchen and my toe hit the forgotten colander and the damn thing went skittering across the hardwood floor. The hair-raising clatter made me stiffen, and I peeked at my baby brother. He groaned but quickly settled down, and I slumped in relief.
Smooth, Neens.
Pakkun made a subtle snort, a mocking and exasperated sound that sent my hackles straight back up. I scowled at him, but even if his face hadn't been covered by the helmet, the shadows made it difficult to see more than his hulking shape. If not for the sleeping child near my feet I would've done more than simply give him the bird but hopefully, the gesture was universal and not just a human one.
On my way into the kitchen, I was forced to step over the mountain of muscle -since he didn't feel inclined to move- and made sure to subtly jab him with a toe to the ribs. He growled softly, shifting slightly on his propped arm to watch me pass. I smiled vindictively, even as a little tremor of fear rushed up my spine at the very real possibility of retaliation. After watching the way he ripped those bug aliens apart, using nothing but his hands, annoying him may not be the healthiest idea. He could've grabbed me before I kicked him, I know he could've; those lightning fast reflexes of his were beyond human capabilities but for whatever reason, he let me off with a warning.
In the kitchen, I flipped on the light above the stove and blinked away spots. The ugly yellow fluorescent glow made an eerie halo around me, not even touching the darkest corners of the room. I shivered. Imagining those- what the heck had Pakkun called them? Kiande amedha? Whatever. Imagining those aliens lying in wait, sent my heart into a tizzy and maybe that's why I didn't hear the actual alien in the room sneak up behind me.
The heat radiating off him brushed my back and arms, I spun, backing myself up against the stove. Pakkun's chest heaved twice, and I got the impression he was laughing at me.
"Asshole. Did you seriously just punk me?!" I whispered angrily, while still trying to get a grip on my galloping heart.
Pakkun cocked his head, causing the dreads to fall over one broad shoulder. Maybe he didn't understand the question or maybe, and more plausibly, he was feigning ignorance.
Game on you Star Trek reject!
The Joker cackled manically inside my head, rubbing his hands together as I schemed. I hid a ludicrous smile and moved for the fridge to grab a Dew. Humor is my crutch in life, without it, I wouldn't be able to function and take care of Danny.
Light spilled out of the fridge, brighter than the one above the stove and I froze at the sight of the blood, both green and red, crusted under my nails. It caught me off guard and the playback of the evening's earlier events hit me with the finesse of a nine iron to the teeth. Danny could've been killed. Hell, I could've been killed and then some state appointed goon would take custody of my baby brother and put him in one of those godawful homes.
I grabbed a Dew, thought better of it, and grabbed a beer instead. I closed the door and nearly dropped the bottle when I found Pakkun standing right behind it.
"Shit," I growled, taking an automatic step back. "Do you want another pan to the face?!"
He snorted and continued to watch me through the blacked out slits in the helmet. I walked back under the light, pressed the lip of the cap against the counter and smacked the top to pop the bottle open.
"Want one?" I offered, holding up the dark ale. Might as well try and be civil and see if I could get some answers since we were both awake. He made no move to grab the offered beer and I shrugged, taking a sip for myself.
"You're a hunter right?"
He trilled softly but made no other acknowledgment to the question. Not exactly the chattiest guy.
I sighed tiredly, setting the beer on the counter. "Look I'm grateful for what you did, saving our lives and all, but those bug things aren't exactly native. Did you bring them here?"
He gave a single sharp nod.
Annoyance flared in my chest, and it tightened my voice. "Why? So you could hunt them? Innocent people could've died, you idiot!" The floodgates opened, spilling forth all of the carefully pent up dread, worry, and anger. My voice was growing in pitch, dangerously close to shrieking bitch levels. "No, you know what? Fuck, other people. You could've gotten Danny killed! My baby brother, you fucking retard! How dare you come to our planet and unleash those-"
Pakkun moved so fast my brain didn't catch up until after he had me backed up against the stove. The metal edge dug into my lower back, but it was nothing compared to the feel of the claws digging into my neck. A growl rumbled at the back of his throat menacingly.
The slits in his helmet flash red, and I suddenly found myself staring into his amber orbs. It stole my breath, and I fought down the instinctual urge to look away and cower.
"Do you always resort to violence?!" My words were breathy, thanks to the hand at my throat. The growl intensified and I knew he was trying to scare me. It worked, I was scared, but I was also royally pissed off. "You think you're the first guy to try and push me around?! You may be bigger, and stronger, but I won't let you bully me every time you simply get annoyed or don't want to answer a damn question. If that's too difficult for you then you should move-the-fuck-on and leave us the hell alone!"
The hand at my neck moved, and I flinched, bracing myself for the hit. The punch never came. Pakkun's claws trailed up to cradled my skull, fingers tangling in my hair. I opened my eyes. His face was closer now- much closer. The eyes behind the helmet remained bright with anger, but had lost a lot of their hostility and in its place, I saw bizarre flickers of ambivalence and curiosity. The heat of his skin enveloped me, and my nipples hardened in response to the way his flesh teased them through the fabric of my thin shirt. Pakkun inhaled sharply, and I watched as those amber orbs brightened to wolf gold.
"Uh, Nina?"
My eyes went wide, the sound of Danny's voice was the equivalent of a bucket of ice water. Was it hot? Why was I hot? I pulled away from Pakkun, he made a low irritated noise in the back of his throat and held me fast. I scowled up at him, then peeked around his massive shoulder at my brother.
Danny stared at us from the doorway, still scrubbing sleep from his eyes. He blinked a few times and finally seemed to notice Pakkun. He brightened almost instantly, and I stifled a groan at the twinkle of amusement in his eyes. TicTac popped out of the front of his shirt, and he patted the top of the ferrets head.
"Let's go, Tac. Things are about to get PG-13 in here."
"No!" I cried, squirming in Pakkun's arms. He inhaled sharply, and suddenly let me go and stepped back. Pakkun snarled angrily, though I couldn't tell if it was directed at me or at himself.
Straightening, I shot Pakkun a wary glare before leveling a tired stare on my brother, who was still smiling like a Cheshire cat.
"So-o-o, R then?"
"Danny!" I said sharply. Where the heck did he get this stuff?!
Danny rolled his eyes, "Nina I'm not stupid. You gave me the talk months-"
"That's not what this is!" My face was flaming red, and my temper was right up there with it.
He frowned unconvinced, glancing between the two of us.
I took a breath and forced myself to calm down, unsure why I'd gotten so worked up in the first place. "Go back to sleep, Danny, it's far too early for me to deal with you without caffeine."
He shrugged, came into the kitchen, grabbed a Coke from the fridge and handed it to me. Smart-ass.
"I can't sleep."
He looked away but not before I caught the flash of fear in his green orbs, and my heart squeezed. I ruffled his hair and smiled as he batted my hand away.
"I demand bacon!"
I snorted. "Demand all you want but I ain't cooking anything until after you've showered."
In fact, now that my mind wasn't reeling from the weird exchange between Pakkun and I, and the even weirder suggestive comments of Danny, I noticed the ripe stench wafting from all three of us. I eyed Pakkun, he smelled the worst. The musty reptilian scent was definitely stronger and had taken on a sour note from the sweat and blood. I'd barely noticed it while in his hold, but then again telling a guy he fucking reeked like maggoty roadkill while said, guy, had a dangerous grip on your throat probably would've ended with a snap of bone. Namely, my neck.
Pakkun stared back at me, and I wondered what was going through his alien mind. He appeared to have collected himself, though I thought his breathing might be a little ragged.
"We're men!" Danny ran up to Pakkun and crossed his arms over his puffed out chest. "And men don't need to shower, Nina!" I think he was attempting to pose next to the alien, but Pakkun tilted his head down at the kid in a 'what the fuck' motion. And the knee pads that migrated down to Danny's ankles kind of ruined the whole badass effect he was going for.
I sighed, closing and opening my eyes with weariness I didn't even have to try and exaggerate. "The fuck you don't. We're not hippies Danny." My eyes caught Pakkuns through the slits in his helmet. "You stink, pal."
He snorted.
"How about this. If you both get clean then I'll make French toast." A bribe. Possibly one of the worst forms of parenting but, hey, desperate measures and all that. If I didn't get a single moment of solace, I might go southern-redneck-crazy-bitch on their asses!
Danny perked up with excitement. "And bacon?"
I groaned. "Fine."
He bounced happily, turning to look up at Pakkun and grabbed the aliens large hand. Danny's hands were so much smaller that each one could wrap around an individual digit of Pakkun's hand.
"Come on, Pakkun!" He tugged, eagerly.
Pakkun cocked his head in an uncertain manner, and as Danny continued to tug, eventually the big alien lifted his arm. Danny giggled, now dangling a good foot off the floor. Pakkun merely sighed the same way any adult sighs at a petulant child and the sound instantly relieved my sudden fear of Danny being in danger. For whatever reason, Pakkun seemed to have patience when it came to my baby brother.
Danny giggled, swinging his legs. "Higher! Higher!"
Pakkun groaned and I snickered, unintentionally drawing his attention. I smiled serenely, happy for once not to be the monkey bars to an over zealous eight-year-old. Pakkun ignored Danny's antics and cocked his head, perhaps confused by the contented smile on my face. Actually, why was I smiling?
Clearing my throat, I turned towards the fridge and hid behind the open door as I grabbed the milk and eggs. "Now, Danny. Take Pakkun upstairs and show him how to use the shower."
"Fine," he whined. "Come on Pakkun before my sister turns into a mononoke and has a hissy fit."
"Danny," I griped. Not bothering to shut the door as I enjoyed the feel of the cool air against my overheated skin. Freaking south.
"Trying!" He huffed. "Come on, Pakkun-" Danny panted. "-go!"
I leaned out from behind the door and found Danny shoving against Pakkuns leg with all his might. Pakkun snorted and made a series of bemused clicks but after a few more incessant shoves from Danny, the alien allowed himself to be herded out of the kitchen.
"Yes! Come on! Come on! I've got squirt guns!"
"Danny-" I jerked the door closed. "- let Pakkun go first!" I called after him as he ran headlong up the stairs. Pakkun trailed behind the boy, and if I didn't know any better, I'd almost say he was dragging his feet. Truthfully, I felt bad for the guy. Danny could turn bath time into a hazardous water sport.
Better him than me.
...
In the kitchen and finally alone, I sang my heart out with Three Days Grace as I worked on breakfast. I've been told in the past that I have a decent singing voice but at the moment I was pretty sure I was butchering the hell out of I am Machine but couldn't have cared less as the music thrummed through my body.
"...I am machine
I never sleep
I keep my eyes wide open
I am mach-"
A crash from upstairs brought me up short. I grabbed my phone and paused the music then listened intently. For a moment I heard only the low hum of the shower and thought maybe I'd imagined it, but just as I was about hit play a booming roar echoed through the house so intense that it vibrated the walls.
Danny!
"Danny?!" I ran out of the kitchen and took the steps two at a time. Gritting my teeth as the stitches tugged mercilessly and shot pinpricks of sharp pain along my nerve endings. I heard thrashing, the sound of tearing fabric and metallic pings which I was certain was the shower curtain, and Danny's voice rising over the din. "Danny are you all-"
I threw open the door and froze.
"-Pakkun! Hold still!" Danny yelled. Crouched under the spray of the shower, the bulk of the alien hid Danny from view. Water pelted the expanse of Pakkun's taut broad back, playing in the dips and well-defined slopes of his muscles. Soapy suds slid down the sensual curve of his spine and I couldn't seem to tear my eyes away as they caressed the most gravity-defying ass I've ever laid my eyes on. It was perfect. And here I thought no one's ass compared to Benedict Cumberbatch's... damn I was wrong.
The forest greens of his hide blended to an almost black tone along his back and beneath the beautifully mottled skin, I watched those muscles ripple with the same fluid grace of a big cat's. My head tilted of its own volition and I ogled that fine rump a little harder, mouth going dry as those cheeks flexed.
The hair along my arms prickled and my eyes rose to find Pakkun watching me from over his shoulder. Like a deer in headlights, I stared at the bright gold of his eye and couldn't look away.
"Nina!"
My eyes jerked towards Danny. He poked his head around Pakkun's massive shoulder.
"Get out! No girls aloud!"
I licked my lips and tried very hard not feel Pakkun's eyes still on me. "Whats with all the racket?" I was going for stern, but it came out more breathy than I care to admit.
"Pakkun doesn't like soap. The suds got in his eyes. Now, get out!" Danny's wet face was pinched in annoyance, his red hair helmet slick to his head.
Wait his eyes?
My startled gaze went back to Pakkun and indeed he wasn't wearing his helmet anymore but he wasn't looking at me either. Danny stepped back as Pakkun suddenly straightened to his full height and I found myself transfixed, drinking in the incredibly male figure in my shower.
His log black dreads hung just past his shoulder blades and their movement brought my stunned gaze back up. Again I met one wolf gold eye but this time, I spun away before he could ensnare me again.
"Breakfast in ten! Make sure to wipe up the water on the floor." I sounded breathy. Lord, why did I sound breathy? I walked out of the bathroom, shutting the door calmly behind me so that it didn't look like I was fleeing. Because I wasn't. Damn it!
Back in the kitchen, I splashed cold water on my face and slapped my cheeks. God, I needed sleep.
Feeling slightly less disjointed, I pulled out my phone and picked a beat to listen to while I busied myself. It's totally fucking random that I happened to choose Baby Got Back. And yes, I sang along!
...
When the boys finally entered the kitchen, I noted that Pakkun had dawned his helmet again, along with the rest of his gear. From day one he struck me as the carnivorous type, and I didn't think he'd appreciate the sugary goodness of French toast. We didn't have all that much in the way of meat at the moment, so I settled on making the whole package of bacon and boiling some eggs.
Pakkun quietly watched me work, making various unintelligible rumbles as I moved about the kitchen. Sitting on a stool across from me, Danny smothered two pieces of French toast in what had to be a gallon of syrup and dug in. And I inwardly sighed, thinking I should've fed the beasties before sending them off to shower.
Pakkun inclined his head towards Danny and sniffed the air. He trilled softly and leaned away from the sticky mess. I grabbed the bacon and the bowl with the eggs and shoved them towards the end of the kitchen island. Pakkun didn't seem to know what to do, or maybe he preferred his food raw and bleeding.
"It's okay," I grabbed a piece of the bacon and the alien watched with interest as I ate it. I licked the grease from my fingers. "Try it. It's good."
"Especially with syrup!" Danny chimed in.
Pakkun stared for a long moment, perhaps silently debating his options. The loud, angry gurgle from his belly brought a smile to my lips. I snickered, looking away as he huffed in my direction. He may not like the smell of our food, but his stomach didn't give a rats ass.
Relenting to the will of his body, Pakkun slowly reached up, and my eyes followed the movement in my periphery. He yanked at a small hose connected to his helmet and air hissed as it disconnected. With suddenly very wrapped attention, I watched his fingers fanned over the front of the helmet and slowly remove it.
My breath got lodged in my throat, and I'm pretty sure the hairs on the back of neck didn't just stand but ran the fuck away. The face behind the helmet would've made any of Danny's superhero's wet themselves and throw in the towel. The human similarities ended at bipedal. Pakkun stretched his corded neck from side to side, apparently relieving tension. Crab-like mandibles stretched out from the lower half of his face each tipped with a tusk about the length of my index finger. Flared out, they revealed a lipless mouth filled with teeth that were meant for shredding flesh.
Oh, yes. Definitely, a carnivore.
His broad head reminded me vaguely of a triceratops bony frill, and there were even triangular-bony structures similar to horns running over the top and outer edge of his skull. The skin started black near the crown and gradually became a lighter grey around the deep-set wolf colored orbs.
I blinked, startled to find him watching me. He didn't seem to mind me perusing him, but I would say his eyes were a little guarded.
"Nina?"
"Hmm?" My eyes fell away from Pakkun and landed on my brother who held up his empty plate.
"More please."
I smirked. "Piggy."
He shrugged. "You're the one always whining about getting fat not me."
My eyes narrowed, "Must be nice to be a string bean with the metabolism of a hummingbird."
He gave me a toothy grin. "If you want I'll take your share and help you out."
"I'm not fat!"
He raised a questioning brow. "Then why do you complain about it all the time?"
"Because I'm a girl!"
"Why do girls whine about problems they don't have?"
I huffed, flipping the French toast over. "Again. Because I'm a gir-"
A loud crunch interrupted our spat and drew both of our attention to the alien in the room. Pakkun ignored us, picked up another egg and ate it, shell and all. A black serpentine tongue flicked out and cleaned the tusk tipped mandibles.
"Cooool," Danny breathed in awe of Pakkun.
I gawked too but not for the same reason as Danny. Cool? Not the term I would've used then again we probably looked like naked mole rats with clothes to Pakkun. How could such a fine ass and prime masculine body be stuck with that face?!
Cool? Seriously, why did everything my brother deem as cool have to come with claws and fangs?!
A/N: hope everyone enjoyed the update! Sorry about mistakes. I feel like it may not be up to snuff but I had fun writing it. Onto other news, I have two updates on my other stories 1) my new story Dead Planet is up and of course, its part of the Alien/Predator verse. It's a suspense/horror, rated M for good reasons (sorry no romance in this one). 2) Followers of Deadly Curiosities I'd like to apologize for my tardiness to update this week. I actually wrote ch. 18 but reread it and decided to go a different direct so bear with me. I plan on updating it next week.
P.S. Thanx for all the favs, follows, and comments! It makes my day when I receive those in my e-mail. I never expected so many reviews for this story and it absolutely gets me fired up to continue!
Guest Reviewers: I love hearing from you guys!
DeathlyIceMaiden: Glad you're enjoying it! I will continue! XD
Felix: Ah thanx! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Hope you enjoyed this chapter too!
Black Cross0: Lol, of course, I'm continuing! And it's because of the love! And to answer your question. I have thought of making the chapters longer but this story is for fun. I noticed when I started writing longer chapters, I started taking it too seriously. This story is just playing out one page at a time. And I feel like the shorter chapters keep readers enwrapped and on the edge of their seats. I feel like longer chapters might ruin the effect. But if a chapter comes out longer I want it to flow, be natural, and not forced.
kimah36: I love Danny too! He's been a fun relief compared to other characters I've written. Glad you enjoyed the fight scene. I rewrote it twice. The first time it got too serious. I think the rewrite worked out better. Thanx for reading! Can't wait for the next update for your story!
rybkakoi: Lmao, the potty training toilet had my friend in stitches too. I'm so glad you found it funny! I also enjoy coming up with the titles so that the readers have an idea of the craziness to expect.
Kay: Glad you love it! Yes, more updates to come! ;)
crystalga: The mix of seriousness and light-heartedness is exactly what I was going for. More updates to come! Punkin- that's funny. I guess if people haven't seen Naruto they won't know who Pakkun is or how to say the name but I think it adds to the comedy and I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
sousie: Lol, I think its a toss up. Danny definitely adds to the overall humor of the story. I'm not sure it can stand without him. Honestly, I think I would adore a brother like Danny but at the same time, you want to smother him! Hope you enjoyed the update!
Tenfangirl: I'm happy you like it and I love Danny too!
Jazz'z Favorite Human Girl: It makes me so happy you thought the last chapter was awesome because honestly, I didn't feel all that great about it. But holy crap the response I received really let me know I was heading the right direction. Thank you!
09sasha: Lol, you're so sweet. Hope you enjoyed the update!
angel897: Glad you found it exciting and fun! Thanx for the support!
Rasha007: Btw I would totally keep him too, lol! Hope you liked the latest chapter.