Chapter Four: Gossip

Hinata gently shifted the bag of ice she held against Naruto's face, hesitating when he hissed through his teeth. He'd gone for help from Lady Tsunade, but he was swiftly turned away. He wouldn't say why, and that didn't sit well with her. The fifth hokage was a healer; his injuries were mild and shouldn't have been a problem for her. "Stay still," she cautioned, moving the ice nearer to his nose. Her worry was getting the best of her, and she only wanted to help. Her concern took over her usual embarrassment.

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto grumbled, but he did as he was told. Hinata was the only person to take pity on him. As grateful as he was, he was still fuming from last night's incident. "Damn it, the next time I see Shikamaru, I'm gonna kick is ass!"

Hinata lifted the bag of ice so she could study the bruise on his face. "Shikamaru hit you?" She couldn't believe it. He was the last one to get involved in anything rambunctious. It just wasn't like him. "What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." Naruto took the ice pack from her and held it against his eye.

"Naruto…" Hinata sighed in disappointment. She could understand if he and Kiba got into a fight, or even he and Neji. But Shikamaru was the most level-headed out of the rookie nine. As much as she hated to admit it, she had a feeling that, whatever went down, this was somehow Naruto's fault.

"What?"

"Nothing." She took the ice pack from him and shifted it gently. I worry about you, she admitted mentally. "I need to get you some more ice."

Three knocks in rapid succession sounded on the door to Temari's small apartment. Even though it was almost noon, Temari had yet to spur herself to get dressed. She and Shikamaru had stayed up far too late the night before. In their defense, the pile of papers on her kitchen table held all their preparations for the chunin exam. All the numbers were run and contingency plans had been made, just like Gaara had asked. She knew that, if they'd taken care of the minute details the first day, they wouldn't have stayed up until the early hours of the morning just to make sure it was done before she left. He seemed to have that effect on her, though. As far as she was concerned, if they met the deadline, they were in the clear.

However, this meant that she hadn't fallen asleep until just before sunrise. Five hours was enough sleep, but she would have preferred to err closer to eight before having to spend time with the rambunctious ninja of Konoha. Reluctantly, she climbed out of bed and shuffled to the door. Rather than look through the peep hole, she opened it, surprised to see a well-groomed, bright-eyed Sakura on her doorstep. Temari stifled a yawn, covering her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Oh," Sakura was taken by surprise. "Did I wake you?"

Temari shook her head. "It's fine. What do you need?"

"I just wanted to apologize again for Naruto's behavior. He can be a real ass." She held up the basket she'd been carrying and peeled back a corner of the flower-printed cloth. "I made you some muffins."

"Why are you apologizing for him?" Temari asked bluntly, catching her off guard. "He's your teammate, not your son. You don't have to do any of this."

"I insist," Sakura pressed, giving Temari no choice but to take the basket. When the sand ninja went to set the basket on the table, she decided that it would be alright to invite herself inside. "Someone has to. He doesn't have family, after all."

Caught off guard by her uninvited guest, Temari didn't really know what to say. There wasn't exactly a polite way to tell her to leave, especially after she went through the trouble to bring a gift that was fresh out of the oven. She may have gotten closer to Ino during her visit, but she still hadn't had much interaction with Sakura. Before she could find the right words, Sakura had taken a seat at her kitchen table, brazenly thumbing through the documents that she and Shikamaru had written the night before.

"It looks like you've thought of everything," Sakura commented.

If this is how leaf ninja showed friendship, it was completely alien to Temari. The more she visited, the bolder they seemed to get. She'd always preferred her privacy, but it seemed like Konoha had an open-door policy. To that extent, Sakura hadn't bothered to shut the front door when she entered, creating a bizarre uncertainty about whether she was staying or leaving. "I-"

"Damn, something smells good."

Sakura looked past Temari and saw a sleepy-eyed Shikamaru standing in a doorway, already inside the apartment. His black hair was loose, falling down to his shoulders. He was wearing the same clothes that she had seen him in the day before. Obliviously, he yawned and stretched his arms over his head. When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a deadlock with Sakura. Both their faces were expressionless, like they'd stopped being able to think for the moment. Temari looked over Sakura's head at Shikamaru, trying to keep from panicking. Sakura was smart; she probably wouldn't rush to any conclusions.

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry!" The kunoichi practically flew up out of her chair.

Fuck! Temari swore before attempting damage control. "Sakura!"

"I'm so sorry!" she repeated, grabbing the knob to the front door. "I'll just come back later!" She shut the door with more force than she intended.

Temari's face was bright-red as she stood by the kitchen table, in complete disbelief at what just happened. Shikamaru groaned, looking skyward as if for guidance.

"Great. She's probably on her way to see Ino right now." He searched his person for his cigarettes, frustrated when he couldn't find them. They had to be here somewhere…

"But-" Temari stammered, "It's not like anything happened. We worked late, that's all!"

Shikamaru lowered himself to the ground to look under the couch. "Tema," he caught her off guard by abbreviating her name, "she saw me come out of your room."

"You slept on the floor!"

"She doesn't know that." He sighed and scratched the back of his head. He began to retrace his steps.

"Oh, god," Temari groaned as she sank down onto one of the kitchen chairs.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. The entire village is gonna know about this before lunch. And after I punched Naruto yesterday…"

This was exactly the type of scandal that they'd needed to avoid. She could hear it now: Suna's princess sleeping with head of prominent Konoha clan. This could be the chance the Suna elders had been waiting for; what better proof could they have to question not only her loyalty to the village, but Gaara's?

Shikamaru spotted his cigarettes on the kitchen counter, much to his relief. He drew one out of the pack and lit it, inhaling to steady his nerves.

"How are you not freaking out about this?!" Temari snapped, irritated by his calm demeanor. "You're the genius, figure something out!"

Shikamaru grimaced. "You don't need to yell. Besides, there's nothing I can do about it. It's up to Ino."

The way Temari looked at him prompted him to explain.

"If Ino doesn't believe Sakura, it stops right there. If she does… there's no point in trying to stop it."

"You're telling me we're at the mercy of Ino Yamanaka."

"Pretty much."

"Fuck me," Temari rested her head on the table.

"I think that would just cause more problems," Shikamaru remarked snidely, trying to cheer her up. He usually would never make a joke like that, but, at this point, he was desperate. "Dammit, I was kidding!" he tried to defend himself, using his arms to deflect the muffin speeding toward his face.

"It's not funny!"

"What?" Ino cried, incredulous. "No way."

Sakura nodded, panting too hard to articulate a response.

"But it's Shikamaru. Shikamaru!"

"You think I'd run here if I was lying?" Sakura insisted before grabbing her friend by the wrist. She pulled Ino into the back of the flower shop, where they could talk more freely. "I'm telling you what I saw!"

"Noooo," Ino shook her head, not able to believe her best friend. "I mean… Shikamaru!"

"I know! Why would I make this up? And I haven't even told you that Naruto said it was Shikamaru who gave him that black eye!"

"He what?!"

"Apparently Naruto said something stupid when they were inside. He wouldn't tell me what; he was trying to save his ass. But, whatever it was, it made Shikamaru walk up to him and punch him -bam!- right in the face!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"Oh, my god." Ino had never seen Shikamaru have an impulsive reaction, and she'd known him since they were kids. "Did he really?"

"Dumb as he is, I don't think Naruto was lying. He was too confused to be angry, which is saying something. I don't think he'd have been that way if it was anyone else, even Gaara. No one's ever made Shikamaru that mad before."

"If anyone could do it, it's Naruto." Ino crossed her arms over her apron. "I don't know, Sakura."

"Why would I make this up?" Sakura countered. "Starting a rumor about Shikamaru is like starting one about Shino. There would be no point!"

Ino clicked her tongue and began to think. "Temari was pretty pissed when Shikamaru didn't show up when they got here… But then why would they invite all of us to the hot spring?"

"Cover?" Sakura suggested. "I'm serious. Yesterday's clothes and everything."

"But it's Shikamaru! There's no way Temari'd go for him! She's got, like, three points on him, easy! And there's no way it's his personality."

"We still don't really know her that well. Maybe she's got a type?"

"But it's not fair! How come Shikamaru gets someone before we do?!"

The bell that hung over the door rang, signaling that a customer had either entered or left. Ino composed herself and glided back out into the shopfront, putting on her best smile. Sakura followed close behind her, still not finished with their conversation.

"Oh, hey, Choji," Ino greeted her teammate. He didn't seem to be very interested in the flowers, and she followed, "What's up?"

"Hey, guys," Choji offered them a good-natured smile. "Ino, have you seen Shikamaru? Yoshino came over this morning to see if he crashed at my place. She's pretty pissed."

Ino looked over at Sakura. They shared a brief glance before she turned back to Choji. "No, I haven't."

"He stayed the night at Temari's!" Sakura blurted out. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth, and Ino smacked her best friend on top of her head.

"Idiot!"

"He did?" Choji asked, more surprised than anything else.

Sakura nodded, flinching away from Ino's fist.

Choji frowned and leaned forward onto the counter, bringing his face level with Ino's and Sakura's. "Does anyone else know about this?"

"No," Sakura admitted.

"Don't say anything to anyone, okay? This doesn't leave the three of us."

"Why, Choji?" Ino asked.

"Really? We're talking about the daughter of the fourth kazekage and the sister of the fifth. Shikamaru's the advisor to the fifth hokage. How do you think people would react? Besides, until I hear it from Shikamaru himself, I can't really know if that's what's going on."

"I didn't think about that," Sakura admitted.

"Just swear to me that you two won't say anything."

Ino and Sakura nodded in unison.

"Oh, and Ino," Choji added, "do me a favor. If Yashino or Shikaku stops by, and they ask, tell 'em Shikamaru fell asleep outside again."

Shikamaru was on his third cigarette in a row. Once Temari had decided to stop using their breakfast as projectiles, things had calmed down to an uneasy silence. There was no way to tell what Sakura and Ino would do. Even though he considered Ino one of his closest friends, she had an urge to gossip, and he wasn't sure if that side of her would win.

Troublesome women aside, he'd been seen by too many people the day before to just walk out into broad daylight wearing yesterday's clothes. He was probably in enough trouble for not coming home last night; he didn't need to deal with his mother's rage or his father's assumptions.

Out of a mutual desire for space, Temari had gone to take a shower, granting them both several minutes of silence. They needed to think.

He'd groomed himself as best he could by using the small, living room mirror, managing to at least pull his hair back up. His clothes smelled like the onsen and cigarette smoke, but there was nothing he could do about that one.

It was late enough in the afternoon that, if he was lucky, he might be able to slip out unnoticed. If Gaara and Kankuro were where they were supposed to be, he could make it onto the street. Getting home, well, that was another challenge.

Best case scenario, he would have to avoid being seen by Ino or Sakura, or anyone else who he'd been with the day before. Then, he would have to make it to his room without either of his parents noticing. A quick change of clothes, and maybe he could save his ass.

But in the worst case scenario, Sakura and Ino could have gossiped to most of the village by now.

He flicked his ashes into the tray he held in his left hand. How did this turn into such a drag? They'd gotten ahead in their work, and all it did was bite them.

He heard Temari approaching before he saw her. She was dressed in her usual clothing, but her wet hair hung down over her shoulders, which she had draped in a towel to keep her clothes dry. She stood beside him at the window, following his gaze. Wordlessly, she picked up the pack of cigarettes from the windowsill and pulled one out. In a brazen move, she took the liberty of pulling his lighter from his pocket and flicked it open.

Shikamaru looked at her in utter surprise. She set Asuma's lighter down beside his pack and took the cigarette between her fingers, removing it from her mouth. In a cloud of smoke, she challenged, "I don't want to hear it."

Fair enough, he supposed. They hadn't been awake for more than four hours, but today was already more stressful than any other day either of them had passed that year. The pair resumed their silence, and Shikamaru couldn't help feeling like they were staged in some black-and-white noir movie.

Temari steeled herself when she heard a knock on the front door. "Hide," she told Shikamaru, unwilling to make the same mistake twice. He did as he was told, slipping into the bedroom and out of sight. This time, Temari made sure to look through the lens before opening the door. The fish-eye lens distorted Choji's round face as he tried to look into the apartment through the peephole. There was no telling how this was going to go.

Temari opened the front door, this time placing herself between it and the rest of her apartment. "Choji," she feigned surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for Shikamaru."

Well, he didn't beat around the bush. Wary of what he'd been told, she lied "He isn't here."

Choji looked at her in disappointment before his eyes darted pointedly to the cigarette between the fingers of her right hand, which rested on her hip in plain sight. "I'm chubby, not stupid. Look, I brought him a change of clothes."

"Man, you're a lifesaver!" Shikamaru exclaimed as he walked out into the kitchen.

Temari ushered Choji into the apartment and shut the door behind him. Shikamaru gratefully took the bundle of clothes from his friend.

"Your mom's pissed," Choji informed him. "She came over to my place looking for you."

"Dammit," Shikamaru swore. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Ino-"

"Son of a bitch."

"You're lucky I found her when I did. I swore her and Sakura to secrecy. You're welcome, by the way."

"Man, I owe you one." Shikamaru tugged the clean shirt down over his head.

"Anything for you. You know that."

Temari let out an audible sigh of relief and let herself fall onto the couch. "Choji-"

"No need to thank me," Choji interrupted. "I get it, so I didn't let things get out of control. Consider this a payback for Gaara covering our barbecue tab."

"You're a good man, Choji." Shikamaru clapped his best friend on the shoulder. He turned to Temari, who waved her hand.

"Go. You've got damage control to do, and it's probably better if I'm not there."

"Everyone was planning to get together for dinner to send you and your brothers off," Choji mentioned. "You wanna come?"

Temari smiled to herself before telling him "Sure. When?"

"I'll come get you," Shikamaru offered, earning him a sly look from his teammate. "It wouldn't look right if I didn't, being your escort and all." He reached for his lighter and cigarettes, but Temari slapped his hand away. He arched an eyebrow at her, offended.

"Consider it insurance," she mused. "After what you've put me through today, it's a safe bet."

"Yeah, yeah." Shikamaru stuck his hands in his pockets and headed to the front door. "Just don't smoke 'em all."

Choji closed the door behind him and followed his best friend down the steps. "So…" he pried cautiously as they headed down the street. "You and her…?"

"No." Shikamaru informed him.

"But you'd tell me, right?"

"Yeah."

Choji smiled, happy that Shikamaru confirmed what he'd thought. As his best friend, he would have been hurt if he'd been left out of the loop. Evilly, he added, "Do you want to?"

"Go home, Choji."