"It's going to be a while before it settles properly, but give it enough time and I think you should be fine," Arvo informs me as I try rotating the prosthetic around. Right now, it just feels like I'm wearing a shoe or something, but he assures me that the feeling will only be temporary. "Does it hurt to move it at all? Did I tighten it too much or anything?"
"It's perfect, Arvo," I smile, grateful that he's done this for me. "Thank you."
"Well, I'm glad. This went a lot better than I was expecting actually," he admits, scaring me a little as he wasn't completely positive this would work. "If you've got any extra pain in your leg from that thing, come find me right away. I'll have it checked out and see what I can do."
Thanking him again, I hop off the bed and grab both of my crutches; praying that I won't have to use these for much longer. They're giving me some wicked upper body strength, but they also hurt my armpits and are really clunky to get around places. Luckily Wellington's a pretty open campsite.
I'm not exactly sure what to make of this place. I mean, yeah it's pretty safe and everything here, but is it really a home? To me it feels more like a temporary set-up; not because we're living in tents, but because I don't know any of the other residents. Lilly told me that when we arrived they basically just shoved us into some living quarters and left us to ourselves. Not exactly the warm welcome we were expecting, but hey, it's a roof over our heads at least.
Lee and Lilly are sitting together on the same balcony I was on the other night – probably talking about the food situation or something. The sneaky, little troublemaker in me wants to listen in on their conversation, so I try to stay out of sight as I make my way underneath the balcony. It's a good vantage point up top, as you can practically see a mile in every direction, but the wind really picks up when you're up there.
"You're sure about this guy? Did he threaten you or anything?"
"Not exactly," Lee replies, even though it's kind of hard to hear him from down here. Speak up a bit, Lee! "But he said that we'd end up seeing each other again soon. He might've been bluffing, but I don't think we can take that chance."
"Shit…" Lilly murmurs, slowly dangling her legs back and forth.
"What do you want to do about it?"
"Me?"
"Yeah you," Lee says, shifting a bit so that he's not too uncomfortable, "This group of yours seems to rely on you a lot, Lilly. You're their leader – they listen to you."
"Come on, Lee. You remember how awesome that went the last time. Besides, you're a part of this too, you know. Don't just throw me under the bus!"
"You're a whole lot better at this leadership thing than I am," Lee admits, sighing heavily. "Maybe I could've been good at it once upon a time, but that's long since passed. I don't know these people."
"You know me, Clem and… Kenny."
"Yeah, but you guys are different… I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am for what you did, Lilly. I don't know how to make it up to you."
"Well, a lot of good it did," Lilly sighs, tossing her head back a little bit, "Duck's gone."
That wasn't your fault, though, I think to myself, almost saying the words aloud.
"Maybe, but you gave him a chance at a life out here. What more can you ask for?" Lee compliments absentmindedly, pausing to adjust the cloth on his arm. "Damn this thing… It's such a pain in the ass."
"I'd bet," Lilly agrees, "Anyway, you're coming for dinner with us tonight, right? You're not bailing again? Clem seemed disappointed last time."
Whoa… was I really being that obvious? I must've been more sad about it than I thought!
"Hmm… you sure it wasn't you who was disappointed?" Lee jokes, probably receiving a deadpan look from Lilly. She usually doesn't take compliments too well, since she hardly ever thinks she's doing well enough.
"You wish, Everett."
Hearing her footsteps coming down the stairs, I need to think quickly in order to find some place to hide. Lilly would get really pissed if she found out that I was eavesdropping on their conversation the whole time. The first object I notice around me is an old, empty garbage can, so I maneuver over there quickly – cursing my clumsiness as one of my crutches falls out of my reach.
Thankfully, the garbage actually doesn't smell too terrible, so I manage to hide behind it with ease. However, my luck runs out as Lilly towers over me with one of the crutches in her hand.
I'm so busted.
"Umm… hi, Lilly…"
"How much of that did you hear, Clementine?"
"Not very much, honest!" I say, putting my hands behind my back timidly, "I just didn't want to interrupt you guys – it seemed like you guys were enjoying each other."
Lilly coughs a little bit violently, as if she had swallowed some food too quickly or something. Did I say something wrong?
"Oh man…" Lilly breathes out, calming down after her little coughing fit. "Just come up next time, alright? You're not a little kid anymore, Clem."
Then why does it feel like I am?
"Oh!" I remember, the thought coming to me like a lightning bolt, "I wanted to show you something! Can you get Lee to come down for a second?"
"I'm here," Lee replies, sliding down the railing in a comical way and causing me to laugh. "What's up, you little munchkin?"
"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just call me that, but look!"
Bringing my left leg forward while balancing myself with the crutch, I twirl my ankle around to show off the fake foot that I've got on. It looks way different than a normal foot obviously, but it'll supposedly do the trick. Lee and Lilly look speechless.
"Oh my god…" Lilly breathes out, the corners of her lips twitching upwards slightly into a genuine smile. I love the times when she's happy like this – it doesn't happen very often. Take a picture, it'll last longer.
"Clem," Lee bends down to my level, just like he used to. He's practically on the verge of tears again. "That's amazing, sweet pea! So does that mean – "
"Arvo said it might take a while, but yeah!" I exclaim excitedly, holding my hands out to Lilly. "Could you help me try and walk around a little bit?"
Taking her hands in mine, I'm suddenly reminded of what it felt like when my parents first took me skating. My dad never learned how to do it, but my mom used to be quite the avid figure skater. She did twirls, jumps, spins – you name it, she could do it. It was kind of scary at first, seeing's how I'd never been on the ice before in my entire life. But I remember what my mom always used to tell me…
It's the falls that help us grow, Clementine. We learn by getting back up again.
I think the same principle kind of applies here, and I'm reminded of that first ice skating lesson right now. I can practically picture my mom holding my hands with my dad looking onwards; proud that his daughter is trying something new.
But then I wake up… and I realize that Lee and Lilly… they kind of stepped in to fill the role a little bit. It's not perfect, but I can see it.
I'm a little wobbly at first, which is to be expected, and I would've ended up falling over if Lilly didn't have such a firm grip. But this is definitely a work in progress, and I'm happy just to be moving around like this at all. We walk over to a nearby tent and come back again, as Lee applauds dramatically.
"How does it feel?" Lee asks, nodding as he hands me back the crutches.
"I'll get there, thanks guys," I reply, smiling at Lilly as she helps set me straight, "But can we keep this a secret from everyone else until tonight? I want it to be a surprise."
"I think they'll be more than just surprised," Lilly comments, walking off to no doubt help prepare the food. "Come around in about an hour or so! Don't be late, or you're not getting any!"
"She's kind of bossy, isn't she?" Lee jokes, earning a playful smack from me. "Want to bring Sarah with us to one of the shooting ranges?"
"Really?" I ask, astounded that he's letting me try and fire it, let alone that there's an actual range around here. Maybe I'm just so used to people babying me around here.
Lee smirks knowingly while turning around to where Sarah supposedly is.
"What's the matter?" he asks smugly, "Don't think you can handle it, Miss Sharpshooter?"
"Oh, you're just hilarious," I snipe back sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "I mean, well… Sarah doesn't really like to use guns very much."
"Come on, how bad can it be?" Lee replies, obviously not knowing what I do about her anxiety.
….
"You weren't kidding…" Lee whispers to me out of earshot, watching as Sarah stands there holding the pistol shakily in front of her.
"She gets nervous around these things," I reply, hopping over to Sarah and hoping that she doesn't notice the surprise for tonight. "You've done this before, Sarah. It's not hard for you, I know it's not."
"I know! But… I'm afraid of messing up!" she says, lowering the weapon to talk to me.
"It won't be the end of the world if you do," I encourage, even though technically the world ended anyway. "Just keep going."
"I can't!" she cries out, tossing the gun aside as if it's on fire or something. "I… I don't want you to get hurt again!"
So that's what this is about – Sarah still thinks that it's… oh dear, this might be more challenging than I anticipated. Lee gives me a questioning look, but I just shake my head and hug Sarah for a moment. I think that's what she needs the most right now.
"What happened to me wasn't your fault, okay?" I reassure, patting her back a little bit. "There wasn't anything you could do. And I'm still here anyways, right? So no harm done."
"But… but your foot's gone…" she points out, stammering as the guilt floods out of her system. Oh, Sarah…
You're sure going to be surprised tonight, that's for sure.
"How about I take a few shots? Just to let her get comfortable with things," Lee suggests, to which we both agree wholeheartedly. I'm actually curious as to how he works that thing with only one arm. I bet it's really –
BANG! BANG! BANG!
…Hard….
Lee just shot all three targets (well, trees) in rapid succession – like something out of one of those western movies my grandpa used to watch. I don't even realize that my mouth's open until Lee turns to me and chuckles.
"Are you secretly a cowboy or something?" I ask, joking yet completely serious at the same time.
"Lee Everett: fastest gunslinger in the west," he brags, blowing off the barrel of his gun to show off. "All I need is the hat, and then I'm golden."
"And maybe a horse," Sarah adds, giggling as I make a face at her to lighten the mood some more. I love moments like this – where we just get to be kids for once. I don't enjoy being so serious every second of my life; it gets kind of boring, frankly.
We spend the next hour practicing with Lee as he gives us tips on how to aim more accurately, and helping me learn to shoot on the crutches (just in case something goes wrong). Sarah gets more confident by the time we're finished, so that's always a plus. I can tell that she's starting to recover from the loss of her dad. It's pretty slow going, but she's made quite a bit of progress.
Some nights before we drift off to sleep, she'll tell me about how he can still see Carlos sometimes. In the clouds, leaning against buildings, staring back at her reflection in the water… At first I thought that she still hadn't accepted that he was gone, but then I realized that that's just how she would cope with this kind of thing. Everyone's different – losing a parent is devastating. Believe me – it's one of the worst feelings in the world.
But that's where friends come in handy.
….
"You caught this, Clem?" Luke asks between mouthfuls as we all sit around the fire, "Nice! It tastes really good!"
Bonnie and Eddie nod in agreement, both of them taking bites out of their respective pieces. I smile back in response, but then keep my gaze down to the flames. I've never been one to like the spotlight – it can get embarrassing at times.
Occasionally I'll engage Kenny with short conversations while the rest talk amongst themselves, seeing as how he's been quiet most of the night. I feel kind of bad for the guy – he doesn't get a whole lot of support these days.
I made sure to sit in between him and Lee, just in case they decided to break out into a fight or something. I know they're fully-grown men, and they both want to set good examples, but lately they seem to be acting more immature than Sarah – mostly when they're around each other.
"Wish I still had my guitar with me…" Eddie comments as the talking dies down a little bit.
"You played before?" Bonnie asks, pushing the embers at the bottom around with a stick.
Arvo's the first one to nod eagerly. "Oh yeah," he says, patting his buddy on the back, "He used to play every night back at our camp. It was almost all Bob Marley songs, of course, but we'd never get sick of it since he was the only one who knew how to play the damn thing."
"You say that like it's a bad thing, bro! Bob Marley was the shit!"
That gets a chuckle out of a few of the group members at least, and it makes me glad that some people are starting to get along with each other. At one point, I figured that Eddie and Arvo would just end up ditching us once we got to Wellington, but they surprised me by sticking around.
"Clem," Lilly nudges me with her foot, "Wanna show them now?"
"Show us what?" Sarah asks as she takes a bite out of… something. I can't tell if it's rabbit or deer, but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference to Sarah. She'll eat anything.
Clearing my throat, I turn towards Sarah with a goofy grin on my face. "Mind helping me with this, Sarah?"
"Umm… okay."
Doing the same thing as before, I grab hold of Sarah's hands without the crutches and start walking – stumbling only once as we walk around the circle of group members.
"Well I'll be damned…" Kenny says, smiling genuinely for the first time in… as long as I can remember.
"That's fucking awesome, Clem!" Luke agrees as Bonnie leans on his shoulder in content, "When did that start happening?"
"Arvo fixed me up," I acknowledge as he smirks shyly, "He found a prosthetic in one of the medical tents and put it on this morning."
"Good on you, man," Luke nods as Eddie pats his friend on the back. "That's huge – you've got no idea."
"Yeah well, you know," Arvo shrugs it off, taking a big breath of relief, "I guess med school paid off a little bit after – "
That's when the rifle goes off, as Arvo topples over and his glasses are smashed against his face; with a bullet hole going cleanly through his head.
None of us move or say anything for a moment. We're all wondering if he's just playing a practical joke on us, and that we all just imagined that gunshot noise. When I realize that this is real, I let go of Sarah's hands and almost topple over myself.
That's when the panic starts.
"NOOOOO!" Eddie bellows, pulling out his pistol and sprinting to the gated entrance – murder on his mind.
"What the – what the fuck was that?!" Luke asks, not believing his eyes. Bonnie's got a hand over her mouth, and Sarah seems to be in shock… again.
"We need to go out and chase the fucker that did this down!" Kenny yells, quickly going into his tent and emerging with a big hunting rifle. "What are we waiting for?!"
"Okay, umm…" Lilly stammers, trying to figure out a suitable plan. "Kenny and I will search the west side of the road, Luke and Bonnie cover the east. Lee, stay here and protect the kids – "
"You're not keeping me out of this, Lilly," Lee interrupts firmly, not leaving any room for argument as he locks and loads his pistol.
"Sigh… Fine," she relents, glancing at Sarah and I. "Stay here, alright? Don't come looking for us – we'll be back as soon as we can. Clem, keep a gun handy just in case."
"Yeah…" I agree shakily, still looking at the dead form of Arvo. The guy who saved me and Luke's asses back when we were looking for Sarah… the guy who tried to nurse Ben back to health even though he didn't know who he was… and the guy who just this afternoon gave me a chance to walk properly again.
Who would do something like this?
AN: Okay, try this for some of the more sad fanfics out there. Listen to Salty Seas (the ending song of S2 E4), and everything will feel ten times more emotional. I swear to you, it's got more feels than I can possibly manage.
Anyway, keep on reviewing guys! The feedback you've given me has been ridiculously supportive, so thank you!