N. Italy POV

(this was suggested by an anonymous user on )

A/N: this chapter has depression and stuff in it so yeah.

"Good morning everybody!" I say walking into my living room.

"Yeah, good morning idiota!" My brother Lovino shouts

"Be nice Lovi! Buenos Dias Feliciano!" Antonio happily chides

I hear pots and pans clattering from my right "is Ludwig in the kitchen?" I ask tilting my head

"Sí, he said that he was going to make some sort of 'hash' of some sort." Antonio says clearly amused, "he's got absolutely no idea how to work anything in my kitchen"

I hear something in the kitchen fall and break I giggle, "I guess i'll go help him then!" I say as I practically skip into the kitchen.

That was the last happy day that I can remember, life was so different back then. I hadn't realized how terrible and cruel the real world is. In just the two months since then, something has happened with Ludwig, he has resorted to being more coarse and withdrawn. I had finally got my life to being happy once more and then everything went back to shit.

It's day 61 of pretending to care, pretending to be happy, pretending to be okay. I'm so tired of being okay! I'm not okay and probably never will be, why can't anyone understand that?! But in retrospect it's probably my fault, I've been pretending to be okay for 7 years so I've gotten pretty good at it. I can't blame them for believing my "happy act" Why would I be depressed? My life has been fine except for the fact that my sorry ass can't achieve half the things that all the people that surround me can. I'm surprised that I haven't been put in the books for being, "the biggest failure since operation Barbarossa"

My thoughts are interrupted by a large crash in the other end of the house, I nearly fall off my bed , "hello?" I call into the hallway. There's no response so I push on further, "hello?!" I don't believe that anyone had any extra keys to my house so I can't think of anyone who could be in my house right now. Another large thump points me in the direction of my closet, I slowly open the door and see my cat. "oh... it's just you kitty cat! you know you gave me a scare, I was lost in thought, and then you come along and knock over my boxes in my closet" I carry the cat into my room and put him on my bed "Oh kitty cat if only you knew how hard human life is" I sigh. I have to get up and make dinner

another dinner ,another day of smiling and trying to be interested in what everybody at the dinner is saying. Ludwig is sitting as far as he can from me and is chattering with Gilbert about random things. Kiku and Yao are both conversing quietly. Antonio and Lovino are being a perfect couple and Alfred is shouting about hamburgers and immigrants. I excuse myself from the table and leave the room.

I climb into bed with a empty stomach and wait for the sound of the door opening and closing and for the noise of people to lessen before falling asleep. I don't know why I don't do it tonight, why not end it all? But I think that my life could get better if I just hang on, Maybe, just maybe...

I wake up in the morning and I feel as if I'm sick because I have a light head and the fact that I'm abnormally cold. "Oh well" I think, "It's probably just a head cold" so I get up and I'm surprised by the smell of breakfast. I stumble into the kitchen while still half asleep. "Good morning..?" I say to the person making breakfast in the kitchen. "Guten Morgen!" Ludwig exclaims "Do you want me to make something for you to eat?" He asks eyeing my boney figure with a spatula in his hand. "No I'm not hungry " I reply hesitantly because of his transformation from sullen to... His regular self I suppose.

"Look..." Ludwig mumbled while turning off the stove, "uh... Look I just wanted to apologize for acting so strange lately, I just, I don't know. But can you forgive me?" He places his hand over mine. I start to pull my hand back and run then through my hair. "I'm not, I don't... I mean yeah, I suppose. I don't oppose that idea." I stuttered while running my hands through my hair. "Okay okay." Ludwig laughs "No reason to be so defensive Fel." He grabs my hands out of my hair and holds them, "No reason to be defensive because I would never judge you." He says as he kisses my head. _

Weeks go by and I'm still having bad headaches and I'm constantly cold but I'm putting it off as just the dreary winter has given me a long-lasting head cold. Ludwig and I are going out for a date today. It's nice to know that Ludwig still cares about me, that someone in the world still cares. While I'm getting ready Ludwig keeps kissing my cheek. "Lud stop!" I giggle. "I'm trying to get ready!" "Okay!" He says putting his hands in the air in mock surrender. "I'll just go and hang out in the living room while you comb your hair and put on your mascara." "Be quiet you big goofball!" "Plus I don't even wear mascara" I mumble. While I'm putting away my things I'm hit by a wave of dizziness "You okay there Fel?" Ludwig asks worriedly noticing my strange disposition. "Yeah I'm fine Lud, You ready to go?" I say playing off my fit of dizziness as a small passing moment. "Sure Fel! Let's go" Lud says while opening the door and letting us out of the house.

Once we arrive Ludwig continues to kiss me in the most surprising moments just for the sake of embarrassing me. In fact I'm so flustered by the time we need to order I have Ludwig do it for me. After we begin eating I start to feel sick. I don't want Lud to be worried so I excuse myself from the table and walk outside for some fresh air. On my way out of the door I get hit by strong dizziness and nearly fall over. I step outside and start pacing by the side of the building. When I start to head back into the restaurant and get a blinding headache and fall over. I'm laying on the ground and shivering as I hear Ludwig run outside and come to my side. "Fel?" He exclaims while checking my pulse and touching my face. "Ohmigod, Fel!" I see Lud pull out his phone as I take a deep breath, grab his hand and close my eyes.

On November 21 Feliciano died of self inflicted starvation. His Funeral was on December 20 that year.

R.I.P

FELICIANO VARGAS

Died of starvation

You Will Be Missed