Notes: Marauders' era, Humour/Romance (James/Lily in James' dreams, and Sirius/Remus)

Kiss Me, I'm Irish

"Pads!"

James' excited cry stopped Sirius in his tracks as he entered the red and gold common room. The gleam of inspiration in his best mate's eyes meant one of two things: that a magnificently, spectacularly chaotic Hogwarts was imminent, or that his own (admittedly tenuous) sanity would be severely compromised. Or both. He briefly debated the merits of pretending ignorance and fleeing back out, but in the end chose the path of least resistance.

" 'Lo, Prongs." Sirius walked over, raising a lazy two fingers in salute.

A group of second years exchanged wary glances and unanimously scattered.

James looked ready to vibrate off his seat with his enthusiasm. "Pads, ol' boy, you're laying eyes on unparalleled genius!"

"I'll need a mirror for that," Sirius quipped, wiggling his eyebrows.

James ploughed on, undeterred. "A momentous occasion is to be had, my friend!" Spreading his hands expansively, he crowed, "Today will forever mark the day that I win over the beautiful, breathtaking, incomparable Lily Evans!"

Head in his hands, Sirius groaned. It was one of those days.

Remus looked on in horror at the train wreck occurring before his eyes.

"Lily-flower, my one true love, did it hurt?"

His fellow prefect ground her teeth irritably. "Potter, what are you on about?"

"When you fell from heaven, did it hurt?"

"Hey, Rem," Sirius spoke up from next to him, looking confused (in front of him, Remus could all but see steam coming out of Lily's ears), "did James just ask Evans if she came back from the dead? Because if so, Muggles have a strange idea of romance."

Calling upon whatever gods may be listening for patience—because unlike what most of the school thought, he did not have an unending reservoir of it—Remus sighed. "No, Padfoot. He was implying that Lily was an angel."

"… What's an angel?"

Unconsciously, he fell into what was jokingly referred to as his 'professor voice'. "According to some Muggles, it's a creature with large white wings that guards heaven."

Sirius' face lit up in understanding. "Ah, so a Veela. Wait, how do Muggles know about Veela, anyway?"

Remus walked to the nearest wall and thumped his head against it repeatedly.

Finally, night had arrived, and the group of sixth year boys were relaxing in their dorm. Or rather, Peter and Remus were relaxing in their beds, while Sirius tried unsuccessfully to remove the muzzle on James' mouth, spelled there by the unimpressed object of his affections after his seventh pick up line ("If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it agai—mmff!"). In fact, other than turning it into a bright shade of Chudley Cannons orange, Sirius' attempts were in vain.

Finally, he flopped onto the floor. "Sorry, Prongs, it's not coming off. I reckon you'll have to get it fixed by Madam Pomfrey." James whimpered, looking terrified at the prospect.

Remus released a long-suffering sigh; it had barely received a rest today, the poor thing. "Did you not get a clue when Lily threw A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration at your head, Prongs? Or when she, you know, threatened to hex your mouth shut?"

James turned woeful eyes on Peter, who rolled his eyes. "Even I knew nothing good was going to come out of it, mate. She was glaring murderous stare number nine—the one that landed you in detention for two weeks with Filch last year, if you remember."

Even behind the muzzle, Remus knew James was pouting. "Stop being an moron—or at least cut it down—and go to bed. Maybe Professor Flitwick will take pity on you and reverse the spell in the morning."

The incident was never spoken of again, but that didn't mean it had been erased from their minds. At least, it was featuring prominently in Sirius' thoughts, even a week later.

He would never admit it aloud, but he was getting desperate.

No matter what he tried, Remus seemed utterly oblivious. Which was cute, at first. But now, with every witch and wizard at Hogwarts laughing at his blatant attempts at flinging himself onto the werewolf—even the Fat Lady had taken to giggling covertly every time they walked through the portrait hole together—Sirius was at his wits' end. It seemed there was a downside to being a renowned practical jokester after all; he wasn't believed when he truly was being serious.

At the rate it was going, he was going to have to wear a neon sign flashing 'Sirius Black fancies the pants off Remus Lupin' for the idiot to catch on.

But before such drastic measures were needed, he decided that there was one more attempt to be had. After all, Remus Lupin wasn't Lily Evans (for which he was truly grateful), and maybe, hopefully, that would work in his favour.

Aha, right on time! Remus walked past him out of the library, nose deep in a book.

"Hey, Moony, wait up!"

Remus lifted his head, a sceptical look on his face. "What brings you to this corner of the castle, Pads?"

"Quit looking so suspicious, Moony! Can't a bloke want to spend some time with his mate?" Remus opened his mouth to reply with some undoubtedly sarcastic retort, so Sirius kept going. "Besides, I think I'll have to come to the library more often, because I'm definitely checking you out!" He gave him a blatant once-over to ensure that the message was received. Surely he couldn't be any more obvious than that?

If Remus' eyebrows went any further up, they'd be buried in his hair. "Sirius, did you just …" Shaking his head disbelievingly, he stuck his nose back into the book and continued walking.

Sirius gawked after him, dumbfounded. That was it. The time for games was over. Taking his wand out, he cast a spell on Remus' retreating back, forming large green words. Then, running after him, he yanked the back of his shirt and spun him around roughly. Remus' indignant and confused expression was the last thing Sirius saw before he closed his eyes and kissed him.

Concluding that enough time had passed to have made his point sufficiently clear—though he would happily stay attached to Remus' chapped lips for a few more hours—he finally took a step back. At the dazed look on his face, Sirius gave himself a mental pat on the back.

Remus spluttered incoherently. "Wha—you—Sirius?!"

Sirius beamed back. Speechless too! He'd definitely done well. But his friend's face was forming into an angry scowl, and suddenly Sirius wasn't so sure.

"You kissed me! Just what do you think you are playing at, Sirius Orion Arcturus Alphard Black?"

Uh oh, it was the full, extended name. He glanced around nervously for a quick getaway. "Er, I kissed you?"

"Why?" Remus growled, sounding disturbingly similar to his animalistic, bloodthirsty nature.

Sirius loved that sound.

Bad dog, stop getting distracted! "Because I wanted to?" he answered hopefully.

The amber eyes were glittering dangerously now. "And why did you want to?"

Sirius sighed happily at the sight. There was no way around it; he was definitely a masochist. But Moony was being deliberately obtuse now, and that really wouldn't do. He grimaced—he was going to have to bring out Serious Sirius after all.

Pinning his eyes on Remus, he stepped forward until their noses almost touched. "I kissed you," he said firmly, "because I fancy the pants off you. I fancy your eyes, and your mouth, and the way you bite your quill when you're concentrating, and your stupid ratty cardigan, and the way you hoard your Honeydukes chocolate bars, and—mmpf!"

That wonderful, very fanciable mouth was connected to his again, and Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around the wizard it was attached to. His fingers were splayed over the words on the back of Remus' shirt: 'Kiss me, I'm Irish'.

(As they walked away, mouths kiss-swollen and hands brushing every so often, Remus would ask curiously, "Since when did you fancy me, Sirius? Your type has always been leggy blonds."

And Sirius would answer, eyes dancing mirthfully, "But Moony, you are leggy, and you're a blond!")

A/N: This little drabble has been nagging me for the past few weeks—specifically the first and last scenes—and I thought, what the heck, a couple of hours of writing won't kill me! Exams are still going strong, and I'm wondering if I really want to be a doctor or just drop out and drive around an ice cream truck (I'm joking … I promise …).

Remus' hair is apparently a light brown (I just checked), but for some reason it's always been a sandy blond in my head, so for this story's sake, that's what it is.

Drop me a comment and let me know what you thought! :)