{The Client}

Summary- I have nothing to fear but fear itself. And my incompetent stylist. I just asked for Spanx, but his hand is raised, and…this isn't going to end well.

Characters- Edward, Bella, and their many shenanigans.

Rated M- Don't tell me you're just in it for the malarkey.

Chapter Four: The Banana Has Gonorrhea

The plane ride from New York to Los Angeles would have been the opportune moment to have a real conversation with Edward. This would have included discussing likes and dislikes, family background, and why he pursued his passion for fashion. Instead, our friendly chat turned quickly into a debate on what we would do for a Klondike Bar.

And that's when you discover who someone truly is.

"Kittens?" I had asked in horror. "Poor, innocent, defenseless kittens?"

Edward had hung his head in shame. "It's the chocolate. The delicious chocolate. I mean, what wouldn't I do for a Klondike bar?"

We all sat in silence, too disturbed to contribute any more to the discussion. Edward tried to speak to me again, but I couldn't.

"You're like the Hannibal Lector of Ice Cream. I can't, Edward, not right now. Just….Not. Right. Now."

It wasn't until the plane had landed that I had decided to give Edward a break.

"Edward?" I had whispered, my inner turmoil churning. "I get it. I just wanted you to know that. And I would never do that to kittens, but I would to Lindsey Lohan."

When he nodded, that's when I knew: Klondike Bars started wars. But they also brought people together.

"This is yours?!" Edward dropped his bags in front of my sprawling estate, his facial expression stuck in a position of awe.

I was giving Jess last minute instructions on the phone after making sure she and Ariana had arrived carefully at home. "Okay, and can you make sure my Mercedes in New York gets returned to the car dealer for safe keeping? Really? Thanks Jess, you are the best. Talk to you later. Bye!"

The home was impressive, I could at least admit that. Located in an enclosed neighborhood, my seventeen thousand square foot villa represented all that I had worked for. With twelve bedrooms, ten bathrooms, and an Olympic sized swimming pool taking up half my property, the luxury mansion was my most gorgeous and extravagant purchase.

Smiling, I said goodbye to my driver as Edward picked up our luggage. "Well, you know. It's too much for one person, but I love it. I like pretty things."

Edward mumbles something under his breath as I unlocked the front door. "Welcome to my humble abode."

The marble foyer opened me with welcome arms as I instructed Edward to drop the bags on the floor. "C'mon, let me give you the grand tour."

After showing Edward each wing of the house, the indoor spa, the personal movie theater and the dining room which sat twenty people, we sprawled out on one of the living room sofas. "You can chose which bedroom you want. Just be forewarned, I wake up at the crack of dawn, so you may want to take a room away from the gym. I pump my music up super loud."

Edward smiles. "I never got the chance to thank you. You are the nicest celebrity I have ever met."

"You've met other famous people?" I question, my curiosity getting the best of me.

"Well, no, but I'm sure you'd still be the nicest."

I chuckle, kicking my heels onto the floor. "You're biased. And a bit of a kitten killer. I don't know if I can trust your opinion."

Edward laughs and something about it made my insides tingle. Trying to find some space, I jump up. "Are you hungry?"

Following behind me, Edward sits at one of the bar stools in the kitchen. "Whatcha got?"

I look inside my empty freezer. "Not much. Chef Boyardee comes once a week to deliver pre-made meals, but I've been gone for two weeks."

"Chef who?" Edward snickers.

"Chef Boyardee," I answer giggling. "He's got a French name, but I can't pronounce it, so that's what I call him. Just don't say that to his face. Otherwise, you get a bowl of ravioli and then it's all Hunger Games up in here."

"Got any fruit?"

I slide a soda across the counter and search for anything sweet. Well-ripened bananas sit in a basket near the steel stove. "All I've got is bananas. But I think you're too good for them."

Cocking his head, Edward smirks, his green eyes sparkling. "Why's that?"

"They're kind of whorish-like. Threatening to die unless you undress and eat them. Don't be a slut, Edward. That's what they want."

"So, what? You going to pimp me out to donuts instead? No way. I'm not going down like that. Just one banana. I'll treat them well, I promise."

"Fine, you win." I toss Edward the offensive fruit. "Okay, I have to go to my office. I've got a million things to do and phone calls to return. The house is all yours. If you need me, just hit the intercom. We'll discuss the business stuff later tonight."

Edward chokes, the banana finally getting the best of him. "Business?"

I shrug. "Yeah, you know. Legal work. Your contract. Then we'll lay out a plan for shopping tomorrow and see some designers."

"Right." Edward is starting to turn pale.

"You okay?" I ask in concern.

"I'm fine. I guess you were right."

"About what?"

"Damn banana. Tried to screw me and couldn't even give me the courtesy of a reach-around."

Thanks for reading & keep on laughing.

XOXO,

ThisIsReallyHappening