CHAPTER 4 – TOW The Untold Truth

Joey and Rachel's

Phoebe couldn't believe what she just heard. Now she knew why. But she still couldn't bring herself to understand it. She looked at Joey and she knew it was very hard for him. "Honey, you're going to be fine, okay?" She didn't know what else to say.

"It's just so unfair, Pheebs. I don't know why this had to happen. I love her more than anyone else in the world and it's just..." He stopped. "Promise me you're not telling anyone.

"But..."

"Phoebe, please. It's what Rachel wants. It's the least we can do." Neither of them could find the right words to say at the moment so it was somehow a relief when Joey's phone rang. "Hello?" He listened and suddenly the look on his face changed. "Okay, I'm coming." He ended the call.

"What's wrong?"

"Rachel..."

Back to present time...

It had been an almost three-hour drive from our place to the university. I arrive at the apartment I will be sharing with a girl who obviously hasn't arrived yet. I decide to put down all my things and lie down immediately on the bed. I hate driving coz it tires me easily. I so want to sleep but after only a few minutes of staring absent-mindedly at the ceiling, my roommate arrives.

"Hi!" she said. She has long hair and a bit shorter than I am. She reminds me of Ella.

"Hello!" I stand up to shake her hand. "I'm Emma."

"Hi, I'm Jill."

I immediately remember my Aunt Jill who I haven't seen in a long time. "Hi Jill, it's nice to meet you."

For some reasons, we immediately hit it off. She's a bit of a talker and the whole time we were talking, I'm more of the listener. Suddenly, she notices the frame with the picture of my family.

"Wow, is that your family? You look so happy." I just smile at her comment. "Is that your brother? He's cute." She even adds.

"Well, he's a pain in the ass."

She laughs at this. "Your mom looks beautiful. She looks exactly like you." I try to hide the pain that suddenly pierces my heart but she still notices it anyway. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I just... I just miss her."

Chandler and Monica's

It had been more than a week since the talk Phoebe and Joey had. This was the first time she went to Monica and Chandler's since that day.

"How's the family, Pheebs?" Chandler asked.

"They're doing great. I mean, since Mike opened up that school, he's been very busy but we're all okay. The kids are fine, too. They're both growing up so fast."

Phoebe had two kids with Mike. Both are boys. Her oldest, Michael Jr., is already 10 and her second one, Khalil, just turned 8 a month ago. "Where are Jack and Erica, by the way?"

"They're at Ross's."

All three of them suddenly froze at the mention of his name. But it was Phoebe who first broke the silence. "How's he doing?"

"Still terribly. Every time I see him, I can't help but hate Joey and Rachel even more." Chandler and Phoebe looked at each other. Neither of them said anything. Monica continued. "God, just wish I don't run into them 'coz I swear, I can kill them."

"Monica..." Chandler tried to stop her.

"What? They deserve it."

"They're still your friends, Mon," said Phoebe.

"Friends? Do you even hear yourself, Phoebe? They don't deserve to be called friends! Friends don't do something like this—"

"Monica, please..." Phoebe was starting to feel terribly irritated but she kept it to herself. She reminded herself that Monica didn't know the truth and it was normal for her to react this way.

Monica suddenly let out a giggle. "Gosh, I can't believe I thought she's changed. But she's still the best slu—"

"I said stop it!" The last thing that Monica said was what triggered Phoebe to yell. "Monica, that is so unfair! Fine! Ross is your brother. You love him and it's hard for you to accept the fact that two of your best friends hurt him. But you don't know anything! Not even the slightest thing about what's really going on!"

"Phoebe..." It was Chandler. "You guys, this is not the right time to do this."

"Look, Monica. I'm sorry. But this is just so unfair. You can hate Rachel and Joey all you want. I just hope you don't eat your words once you find out the truth." And she left.

Ross's

Phoebe went to Ross' place after she left Monica and Chandler's. She found him on their patio staring at nothing. He seemed to have looked better than the last time she saw him. "Hi..."

He kissed her and smiled a sad smile. "Hi, thanks for coming."

"How are you doing, Ross?"

Ross shook his head. "I still don't get it, Pheebs. I thought we were doing okay. We were happy. Everything was great. I just don't know how we got here."

It hurt Phoebe to him like this. She wanted to tell him why. She wanted to make him feel better but she could see Rachel's intention for doing this. The truth would hurt Ross more than what he knew.

"Ross, everything happens for a reason."

"Then what's the reason for this? My family's broken. And I don't think I'll ever get it back together. All I ever wanted was for this life to be more than any of them wished for... I tried to be the best father and husband I can be. But seems like none of those things was worthy enough for her to stay..."

"Ross..." Phoebe didn't know what to say. She had never seen Ross like this before. And it was killing her to see him this way. But she wanted to make him feel that it was okay... that everything was going to be okay and she didn't know any other way to do it but hug him really tight. "You're gonna get through this, okay. We'll always be here for you. You have got to pull yourself together. Your kids are affected by this, too. And I know it's even harder for them. They need you, Ross."

Joey and Rachel's

Joey and Rachel were eating their dinner when Joey noticed that Rachel looked sad. "Rach, you okay?"

Rachel gave him a forced smile. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me." She didn't say anything else and just went back to eating.

"Rachel?" Rachel just looked at her. "I... I know that this is what you want... that you think this is for the better... but... Don't you think it'll be a lot easier if we told the—"

"Joey, no..." Rachel gave out a long sigh when she realized that she's also making this very hard for Joey. "I'm sorry. I really am. I know I'm making this really, really hard for you but I don't know any other way to make it easier for all of them. I'm sorry that I chose you to carry this burden you're carrying now-"

"Rachel..." Rachel stopped. "You have got to stop saying sorry to me, okay? I don't care about what they'd think of me or about what this is causing me. All I'm worried about is you. They're going to know it anyway, why not tell them now? You need them. They're your family... your friends. They deserve to know."

"I cannot let them go through this."

"So you'd rather let them hate you? Rach, that's not what you need right now."

"And so do they. Joey, please. I can't deal with this right now."

"I'm sorry I had to bring it up." Rachel didn't say anything and went back to eating. Joey just looked at her feeling so sorry that she had to go through this and he couldn't even do anything about it.

Ross'

The next morning, Ross was about to leave for work when he was stopped by who he saw sitting at his couch. It was Rachel. She immediately stood up when she saw him. Ross felt like it was the happiest he'd been since she left. "Rach." He almost ran to her and hugged her really tight and never wanted to let go.

Rachel broke the hug. "Ross..." She didn't need to force her smile. She, too, was happy to see him. "Where are the kids?"

They both sat down. "Emma and Ella have gone to school. Ben's still sleeping." Ross looked at her. He couldn't believe how much he still loved her in spite of everything that's going on. "I miss you so much, Rach. Please come home."

"Ross..." She shook her head. This time, her smile was gone... and so was Ross'. "I can't." Ross bowed and Rachel felt like something was piercing her heart. She took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry." She knew she had very little control to keep herself from crying but she still managed to do it, anyway. "I'm only here to get my other stuff."

Ross stood up and nodded, as if telling her to go on and do what she needed to do, without looking at her. He wanted to tell her how much he needed her... how much he loved her... how much he couldn't live without her. But he knew it was too late. Rachel had made her decision and there was nothing else he could do to change it. It was time to let go.