"That was a lot of fun this weekend," grinned Leonard as Sheldon and he joined Raj and Howard at the lunch table. "We ought to do that more often."
"I'd rather get a colonoscopy by Wolverine," mumbled Howard.
"You mean you didn't have fun?" asked Raj.
"Well, if by fun you mean spending an evening in a room with drunk women sniping at each other when they aren't trying to emasculate me, personally, then yeah, I had a blast."
"Ouch."
Howard quit playing with his pasta and set his fork down.
"I just don't get it. They were so nasty with each other and yet when I thought it was time to go they were all like, 'what's your problem?' Like this was normal or something." He shook his head.
"Oh, it's normal," Leonard replied before he finished chewing and swallowing. "Believe me there are times when Sheldon and I hear cackling laughter and cold as ice comments underneath our apartment door. It's actually quite unnerving."
"Hence the reason why we should have more time away from the females so we can properly unwind," said Sheldon evenly. "We could do something tomorrow, for instance. We haven't been to the Cheesecake Factory in a while."
"I don't know," said Howard slowly. "Bernie and Penny don't really like hanging out there."
"We don't have to invite them," Sheldon countered with pursed lips. "That was the point of having a night to ourselves."
"Yeah, but Penny and I usually go out as a couple," said Leonard. "I mean we stay home a lot so going out is kind of our thing."
"Fine," Sheldon said crisply. "Wednesday is Halo night—"
"Yeah, about that," Leonard began gently. "You see, Penny and I were—"
"Thursday's pizza night—"
"Emily and I are catching dinner and a movie," replied Raj. "Though we could drop in—"
Sheldon was disgusted.
"Friday's Chinese food and vintage game night," he snapped. "But let me guess, you're all busy on Friday."
"Yes," his friends all said. Sheldon rolled his eyes and returned to his food.
"Cluck, cluck, cluck, gentlemen," he tsked.
"How about we go play some paintball this Sunday?" offered Raj.
The four men looked hopefully at each other before Howard visibly flinched.
"Oh, wait, Bernie's folks are coming over that day," he sighed.
"That leaves Saturday," said Sheldon.
"Yeah, well, Saturday the six of us were going on a triple date," said Leonard. "The girls wanted to do a couples thing and you know—"
"Since I am no longer 'coupled' I wasn't invited," Sheldon finished.
Leonard smiled sympathetically. "As a bright side it's laundry night."
"It is, isn't it?" said Sheldon before taking a drink.
It's not like he had forgotten about laundry night.
It's just that for the first time ever he didn't rightly care.
After lunch the guys departed and Sheldon went back to his office. He hesitated in front of his door because he knew she was in there and he had already had enough of her from the morning. From every morning to be honest.
He entered his office, making sure not to look at her as he closed his door and went to his desk. He sat, staring straight ahead. The office was quiet save the rapid beating of his heart. He knew she was going to interrupt his solitude at any moment so he had to get done what he could before he was distracted.
Sheldon opened his laptop and continued to read David Underhill's latest paper on dark matter research. There was no doubt that Dave was talented. Most definitely a step above Leonard in his scientific abilities. In fact, some of what was proposed in the paper was quite intriguing and if seen in a particular context it could—
Sheldon closed his eyes in order to tune her out. He used to find her voice soothing. When he heard it he was in his happy place because he knew that he was that much closer to fully seeing her.
Now her voice was as grating as nails on a chalkboard.
He read over the previous two paragraphs to focus his mind on the idea he had before he was interrupted.
"It could work," Sheldon mumbled to himself and got up from his chair to venture around his desk to face his whiteboard.
To face her.
The equations were succinct and elegant. String theory. The Theory of Everything.
The theory which came to nothing.
Sheldon took up his eraser and did what he should have done the first day he came back to his office. With each stroke across his whiteboard she was erased until all he was faced with was a white board. A blank slate ready to be filled with his genius. He exchanged the eraser for a marker and stood back to gather his thoughts. While considered unorthodox by many, Sheldon had no doubt that dark matter was self-interacting. There were dark forces at work and, by necessity, dark boson particles to carry this force.
He stared at the whiteboard, the marker in his hand becoming heavier with each passing second. The board was blank, ready for any possibility Sheldon could foster upon it.
Yet all Sheldon could do was stand there because he didn't know what to do. The whiteness was scary and daunting as opposed to exciting and limitless. If he wrote on the board he would say goodbye to her and she was all he'd known for the last twenty years.
She gave him a place to hide when his parents fought.
She was the means by which he found accolades from his so-called peers.
She was the reason why he never felt alone.
A moment more and then the cap was off his marker and Sheldon busied himself recopying everything he had erased from his board. When he was finished he stood back to see his handiwork. Succinct. Elegant. Safe.
Sheldon gathered his jacket and messenger bag, turned off his laptop and overhead light and departed.
xTBBTx
Penny knocked at apartment 4A and Leonard answered the door. His eyes dilated at the sight of her red cocktail dress that clung to her curves in a sophisticated look as opposed to the short dresses she wore dancing.
"Wow," he gasped. "You look great."
"Thanks," she smiled. "Time to go."
"Yeah, let me get my jacket." Leonard went to his desk to gather his things.
Penny looked to Sheldon, who hadn't moved a muscle at the interaction; instead he was watching television with the sound off.
"Hey Sheldon," she said brightly.
Sheldon clicked off the television and darted down the hall. Penny heard his bedroom door close.
With a small sigh she made to follow but Leonard put out an arm to stop her.
"Don't worry about it," he said as he shrugged on the jacket. "Sheldon's just working through his problem with Amy. If he needs to talk he knows I'm here."
"Maybe he wants to talk now," Penny said with a concerned expression.
Leonard took in her concern—as well as her legs and the red pillows that were her lips.
"He'll be fine," he said kindly as he gently turned Penny and together they exited the apartment.
In his room Sheldon sat on his bed with a sour expression on his face. He really had to address Penny's presence in the apartment. From time to time he heard her voice and laughter coming from Leonard's room and as Leonard had filled out the correct paperwork there was nothing he could do about it.
He waited a moment more before exiting his room and returned to his spot on the couch.
It wasn't that Penny had done something wrong, rather it was what she represented—change. Without Penny, Leonard, Raj and Howard would be here tonight to play Mystic Warlords of Ka'a until it was laundry time. Then they would watch Star Trek universe shows until it was time for Sheldon to get into his pajamas, warm his mug of milk and sit in his chair to post at the DC Comics Message Board. Instead, they were all out imbibing alcohol and gyrating their bodies at some tavern. There's no way a dozen wild horses could have dragged him along tonight but he also knew that if he was still going out with Amy he would have no other choice but to go.
"That's a plus for bachelorhood," he said although his conviction sounded hollow.
He pondered what he could do until eight fifteen. Perhaps watch some Star Trek? Do some work? He glanced at his whiteboard, blank and ready for use. He took up the remote and clicked on the television and began perusing his DVR. Sheldon selected what he wanted and began to watch. As the introduction played he did his best to relax but something was off.
He felt as if he was being watched.
Sheldon got up and went to his whiteboard. He stared at it a moment before turning it around.
He then went back to his spot and resumed watching television.
XXX
"So how are your auditions going?" Bernadette asked Penny before taking a sip of her martini.
"The usual—drive of eternity to get there, a room full of blondes and finding out that once again I'm too short/tall, fat/thin and, my favorite, too mid-western," sighed Penny. "Still, I haven't given up."
"That's the spirit," smiled Raj. "Dreams are meant to be pursued. I mean look at Howard, he pursued every dream he saw—until she jogged out of reach."
Everyone laughed except Howard.
"Actually, we've all pretty much got our dreams," said Leonard. "We're accomplished in our careers, have wonderful companions. Life's good." He looked to Penny. "See? By marrying me, you're half way there.
"I'm more than just your fiancée," Penny said coolly.
"Of course you are," Bernadette piped in quickly. "Just because you haven't landed an audition in six years doesn't make you any less of an actress than anyone else."
The table was silent as everyone took a drink.
"Hello bestie," said Amy as she arrived at the table.
"Hi Amy," Penny replied, a tad confused. "What brings you here?"
"I saw the Facebook updates for tonight's plans," Amy replied. "I want you all to know that you shouldn't feel awkward inviting me to social gatherings just because Sheldon and I broke up." She squeezed behind Leonard and Penny and settled herself in a seat.
"It's just that tonight was kind of a couples' night so we didn't want to make things worse," Bernadette said.
"Couples night. Understood," said Amy evenly. "Before I met Sheldon I often pretended to have a date with me when I was in a gathering. In fact, it's why when I sit down I clasp my hands from the side so as to create the illusion of holding someone's hand."
Everyone took a large sip of their drinks.
"So, who's up for some karaoke next week?" asked Penny.
"Not really my thing," said Emily.
"I'll come," Amy said. "Since becoming single I have no one to back me up on sing along night at the apartment. It's nice having a harmony rather than hearing the sound of the clock ticking."
"I never noticed a clock in your living room," said Bernadette.
"I usually keep it in my bedroom but when I feel lonely I bring it into the living room to liven up the place."
"Ah," Bernadette said and finished off her martini in two big gulps. "Hit me," she said to Howard and he poured more drink from the decanter into her glass.
"I really like this song," said Emily as she got out of her chair. She took Raj's hand. "Let's go dance."
"I never knew you liked Beyonce?" Raj said, pleased as they walked hand in hand to the dance floor.
"I don't," Emily replied. "Just had to get out of there. Is Amy always like that?"
"We have to cut her some slack," said Raj. "She broke up with Sheldon so she's a little down."
"Yeah, I can see down. But I meant the pathetic 'poor me pity me' part."
"Oh." Raj thought about it as they began to boogey on the floor. "Yeah, pretty much," he called out.
XXX
Sheldon finished watching television and turned it off. The room was silent and usually the tranquility of being alone in his apartment sitting in his spot was refreshing. This time, however, his mind was a whirr of activity as his eyes stared at his whiteboard. There was no doubt he was at an impasse and he wasn't sure what to do. Physics was letting him down (or was it he who was letting her down?) and he knew from experience that scrambled eggs were already at their best. His mother made him get rid of his loom. Perhaps he could call his mother?
"And say what?" he snorted. "'Mother, I no longer believe in String Theory, Amy left me and Leonard's moving out soon.' And what would she say? 'Everythin' has a reason, Shelly. The Lord doesn't load yuh with more than yuh can carry.'"
He needed rational advice, not prayer.
Sheldon went to his computer and made a call on Skype.
"Good evening Sheldon," said Beverly's cool voice as she appeared on the screen.
"And to you," Sheldon replied.
"Now that the formalities are over with, what do you want?"
"I find myself at a crossroads and require advice."
"Proceed," she said as she sat back in her chair.
"I'm not sure whether switching out of String Theory into dark matter research is a mistake."
Beverly raised an eyebrow. "I thought you had sorted this all out on your month long sabbatical?"
"I had but other circumstances have come to pass that make me want to revaluate my decision." Sheldon took a breath. "Amy has decided to terminate our relationship agreement."
"And?" Beverly said flatly.
"I thought our relationship was proceeding to the next level. I was clearly mistaken."
"And you are now unsure if your career choices are similarly disjointed."
"Exactly."
"Your logic is flawed. Because one falters doesn't mean the other will, particularly since there is no link between the two circumstances beyond them happening to you. If we continued your logic we would have to equate having Leonard's move into your apartment with your decision to go from bosonic to heterotic String Theory."
"You're right. I'm being silly," Sheldon said with a shake of the head. "I'm not sure what's come over me."
"Obviously your amygdala is functioning abnormally." Beverly scribbled something down on a sheet of paper. "I'd like for you to go for some blood work as well as a brain scan. I'll make the arrangements and have the appointments emailed to you."
"Thank you."
"Sheldon, you know you are my favorite test subject."
"I am intriguing," he said with a little smile.
"I have to urinate. Goodbye."
The screen went black and Sheldon sat back in his chair to think. A moment later and he fired off an email of his own.
xTBBTx
Dark Matter: wwwscientificamericancomarticledark-matter-may-feel-a-dark-force-that-the-rest-of-the-universe-does-not1