This story now has a blog, which was an optional part of the contest. Here's the link if you're interested: www(dot)a-secret-love-story(dot)blogspot(dot)com
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer owns any and all Twilight characters that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. Copyright 2009 by Fates-Love-Queen. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.
To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest on the Writer's coffee shop website/forum.
If you have any questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:
competitons(at)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com
or go to
thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com
A/N: Ok peoples, we are up to Chapter 4! Only 1 chapter left...
Thank you so much for all of you who left me reviews and added this to your favs. Reviews really do mean so much, so if you like this chapter, please leave me some love. I love reading them : )
A huge shout out and thank you, as always, to my super beta kyla713, who makes my words pretty and Americanised. Thanks heaps hun!
If you haven't read her stories, do yourself a favour and read them. I'd seriously gladly offer my 'first-born' to have a web chat with the "Grneyeddoc1981"!
I hope you all enjoy my 'Nerdyward' in full force! : )
"Well how long can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode,
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me, In fact it makes me nervous,
If i get caught, I could be risking it all...
Well baby there's a lot that i'll miss in case i'm wrong...
All I really wanna do is love you, A kind much closer than friends use,
But I still can't say it after all we've been through,
And all I really want from you is to feel me, As the feeling inside keeps building,
And I will find a way to you if it kills me, If it kills me...
If It Kills Me (The Casa Nova Sessions) by Jason Mraz.
Edward's POV:
By the end of sophomore year, things hadn't really changed much, apart from the fact that my braces had finally come off.
Luckily, my teeth and overbite had straightened, so I didn't need them on any longer than was necessary.
One nerd trait down, one hundred to go…
Bella was still more interested in clothes and hairspray than she was in me.
Sure, we talked, but it was like having a conversation with Alice; nothing deep and meaningful or about anything that mattered.
It was as if she'd been cloned and someone had kidnapped the 'real' Bella, leaving this superficial one in her place.
But as she had told me when I had gotten the braces, best friends stayed no matter what, and all I could do was hope and pray that the real Bella would come back to me.
I don't think she was doing it purposely to hurt me, but it still hurt just the same.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Having seen how upset I was over Bella going over to the 'typical-teenage-girl-dark-side', Emmett and Jasper had taken me under their wing.
Em was almost as upset as I was, as Rosalie was spending more time with Bella and Alice than she was with him.
As for Jasper, he was an easy-going guy and Emmett's best friend, so just followed his lead.
Naturally, being friends with two of the most popular guys in school had its advantages. The biggest being that James and his 'goons' didn't even bat an eyelid in my direction anymore.
Having said that, however, it also had its disadvantages.
Emmett and Jasper were considered by the female population as 'sex-on-legs' and girls were usually falling over themselves to get to them.
As I was the school's resident nerd, I was simply pushed aside and ignored, as though I were invisible.
Everyone saw me as the 'charity case' that the guys felt sorry for, and that didn't exactly work wonders for my already miniscule amount of self-esteem.
Also, Emmett and Jasper were involved in, and good at, everything…
The swim team, the soccer team, the Varsity baseball team, Emmett was even his junior 'Prom King'…
The problem was that due to my allergies, I constantly felt out of my league, as I could do none of these…
Or so I thought…
The Summer before Junior Year:
"Yo, Eddie, you home?"
I heard Emmett's booming voice coming from downstairs.
"Up here Emmett," I yelled back.
There was a month of summer holidays left and I was currently in my room playing my Xbox 360.
"I don't know why you prefer to play 'Call of Duty 5' instead of 6… Modern Warfare is so much better," he said as he sat down next to me, picking up a controller.
I scoffed at him.
"You don't know where you're going in life unless you know where you've been, Emmett. Besides, in this one you get to call in the rabid dogs, and they are more lethal than a chopper any day…"
"True, can't disagree with you there. Hey, Jasper and I are going to go down to the school to play some ball, you in?"
"What, no 'ball and chain' today?" I snickered.
"Rose has taken Alice and Bella into Port Angeles for some 'retail therapy' whatever the fuck that means. And I'm going to pretend for both of our sakes that I didn't hear your last comment, you know Rose…"
I involuntarily shuddered; I knew Rose alright....
Last year, Rosalie had accidentally bumped into Jessica in the cafeteria.
She apologised but Jessica still proceeded to call Rose a 'bottle blonde harpy' and that she should get glasses like her 'four-eyed pet'.
I could practically see the smoke billowing from her ears as she grabbed Jessica by the hair and slammed her face down on the table, effectively breaking her nose. She then made her kneel and crawl on her hands and knees across the cafeteria floor over to me to apologise.
I'd told Rosalie that it wasn't necessary, but she had just glared at me, telling me that no one spoke to her or her friends like animals.
Rose was the most loyal person I had ever met, but also the scariest.
I'd never want to be on her shit list…
"So, you in?" he asked, pulling me out of the memory.
"Emmett, I'd love too but you know I can't because of my grass allergy. The last thing I need is people running from me, thinking I have the measles from me being covered in hives."
"There'd only be the three of us, so we could just practice bunting and pitching on the dirt, no grass. Come on, Eddie. We really need a third, and it'd do you some good to get outside."
He had a point.
With Bella MIA, I hadn't seen much sun this summer.
"I can't, I don't know how to play. Besides, I don't own a glove or mitt thing to catch with."
"It just so happens that I have spare ones. And please, you're talking to next years Varsity captain here, I'm pretty sure I can teach you the rules," Emmett scoffed.
I let out a defeated sigh.
"Okay fine, just let me put on my sunscreen and I'll meet you out the front in five."
"All right! You won't regret it, Eddie. We'll have a blast," he yelled as he ran from my room and out the back door.
I turned off my Xbox, grabbed my cap and went into my bathroom to lather myself in sunscreen. It was quite warm today and I burned as easier than butter in a frying pan.
I made my way downstairs and saw Emmett and Jasper already waiting for me grinning.
This was going to be a long day…
~*~*~*~*~*~
The trip to school was short, as Emmett had recently received his driver's permit.
He had whined that the car Charlie had bought him was older than dinosaurs, but Charlie had told him that no one needed a Ferrari for their first car in case anything happened to it.
Wise move on Charlie's part; Emmett drove like a maniac…
We pulled up at the school and made our way to the baseball field.
"Dude, it's so hot, why didn't you wear shorts?" Jasper asked, as he dropped his bag to the ground.
"Well, with the grass, it's better to be safe than sorry," I replied, taking my glasses off to clean them.
"Alright! Now Eddie, the basic rules are pretty simple. You have two teams; one team bats while the other team fields. The pitcher throws the ball to the catcher and the batter has to try and hit it before it reaches the catcher. Anything over the plate between your knees and elbows you have to swing at, anything outside of that area you can either leave or swing at. If you miss three times in the zone, you're out. If the ball isn't in the zone and you don't swing four times, you get a free pass to first base. Got it?"
I nodded my head, sounded simple enough.
"Okay, here's your glove. Why don't we warm up by throwing back and forth in a triangle?" Jasper asked, as I slid the glove onto my hand.
"Sounds good," I replied.
We spread out in a triangle and started throwing to each other, and I was slowly starting to get the hang of it.
"Now that we've warmed up, what do you want to do first? You can bat, catch or pitch. But as there are only three of us we won't be hitting the ball hard." Emmett said after about half an hour of throws.
I honestly had no idea what I wanted to try.
"I think he should have a go at pitching, he seems to have an alright arm," Jasper said.
"Alright Jazz, you bat," Emmett said as he led me to the pitcher's mound.
While Jasper was getting his bat, Emmett showed me the pitching technique; it didn't look that hard.
When I thought I had the hang of it, Emmett took up the catcher position crouching behind Jasper.
"Alright Edward, when you're ready."
I nodded at Emmett and began my wind up.
To say that my first pitch was a disaster would be an understatement, as it flew right at Jasper's head.
Luckily, he ducked just in time.
"Shit, sorry, Jasper! Guys, this is hopeless, maybe sports just aren't my thing…"
"Edward, its fine. No blood, no foul… Besides, it was your first go, try again," Jasper answered as he threw the ball back to me.
I let out a frustrated sigh as I took position again.
"Come on, Edward, just relax. Don't think, just feel," Emmett instructed.
I nodded and doing as Emmett instructed, I wound up and pitched.
"Holy shit!"
I stood up straight and looked up at Jasper.
"What the fuck?" Jasper growled.
"Oh god, I didn't hit you, did I?" I asked, panicked.
Just then, Emmett fell to the ground laughing.
"Edward man… I can't… You just… Struck Jasper…" was all he could manage in between his howling.
After a minute, he wiped the tears from his eyes and his smile fell.
"How the fuck did you do that? I've never seen Jasper miss a strike before! It was so fast, I barely caught it! You sneaky little shit, holding out on us! You've played before," Emmett accused.
"I swear, I haven't. I'd never even picked up at glove before today!" I argued.
"Again!" Jasper demanded.
"Just do the same thing. Don't think, just feel," he said as he tossed the ball back at me.
Jasper narrowed his eyes at me as he took his stance.
I wound up and pitched again.
"God damn, you're fast, that one hurt my hand! Another strike for little Jasper!" Emmett boomed.
"Alright smart ass, let's see you try and hit it," Jasper said handing him the bat.
Emmett laughed as he stepped up to the plate, and Jasper nodded at me.
I pitched it again, as with Jasper, Emmett missed.
"Jesus, Edward. Where have you been hiding that arm of yours! Well, I think it's safe to say that asshat Tyler will get the boot as soon as Banner sees our boy Edward here!" Jasper yelled, as Emmett stood there speechless.
"Oh no, guys, this was just a bit of fun… Besides, I don't think anyone would appreciate having me around…"
"Tough shit. I'm the captain and even the coach does what I say. Besides, you've got one of the best arms I've seen for your age. Welcome to Varsity baby!" Emmett boomed as he slapped me on the back.
~*~*~*~*~*~
After a few hours of the guys teaching me to bat and explaining more of the rules, we were sitting on the dirt with our water bottles throwing the ball around.
"Hey Edward, can I talk to you about something personal?" Jasper asked, turning to face me completely.
"Uh, sure."
"Well, it's kind of an awkward situation and I don't know how to say it," he said as he started playing with his fingers.
"Jasper, it can't be that bad…" I said, trying to ease his fears.
"Just please, wait until I'm finished before you get angry, okay?" he asked pleadingly.
"Just tell me, I'm not going to get mad, Jasper."
"You haven't heard what he has to say yet," Emmett muttered under his breath.
Before I could ask Emmett what on earth he was talking about, I heard Jasper mumbling.
"I-reallylike-yoursister-andi-wantto-askher-out..."
"Jasper, English… I can't understand gibberish."
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
"Edward, I really like your sister and I want to ask her out, but as you are a friend, I wanted your consent first…"
Wow, was not expecting that…
I wondered if he was joking, but one look at the serious, apprehensive look on his face made me burst into a round of hysterical laughter.
He was serious...!
"Jasper, if you want to take on the tornado of a pixie known as Alice, be my guest! Honestly, I can't think of anyone better for her to be with, and if anyone can 'settle' her, it would be you."
Jasper's features softened as he smiled at me.
"Thanks man, that means a lot."
"You're welcome. Just don't hurt her, or I'll kill you."
He nodded his head at me and we both laughed.
"So, speaking of sisters, what's going on with you and mine?" Emmett asked.
"I honestly don't know Em. I mean, things were fine between us and then overnight she suddenly finds the girly things that she once hated fascinating, and completely blows me off."
"Ed, man, look at it from her perspective. Our mom died when she was only nine years old, before she had a chance to experience the 'girly' things with her. She actually resented anything 'girly' and shied away from it, as it was a constant reminder of how she would never get to share those experiences with our mom. Then, she finds your mom and Alice, women who she can be close to and share those things with, and she finally feels comfortable embracing that side of herself. Sure, she might be going about it the wrong way and going a little overboard, but she has almost eight years to make up for."
I sighed, knowing that he was right.
"I know that, Emmett, and I'm happy for her. It's just I wish she wouldn't shut me out…"
"Just give her time. But that's not what I was talking about…"
"What do you mean?" I asked confused.
"I mean, what's really going on between you two…"
I froze in a mixture of surprise and shock, not seeing the ball coming towards me until it was too late.
It hit me right in between the eyes, knocking the glasses from my face.
"Oh shit, I'm so sorry, Edward, I thought you were looking! Are you hurt?" Emmett asked, as he and Jasper ran towards me.
"I'm fine," I grumbled, reaching down to pick up my glasses.
"Jesus Em, he's got the stitching from the ball imprinted on his forehead!" Jasper cried, reaching for me.
"I said I'm fine, guys!" I yelled, turning away from his hand.
"What the fuck, Edward? You could have seriously been hurt! Why didn't you catch it?"
"I've been playing ball for all of a few hours, Emmett. Forgive me 'Sir Baseball God Captain', if I'm not a gifted natural like you," I spat.
As soon as the words left my mouth, I instantly regretted them. That was the harshest I had ever spoken to anyone and he didn't deserve it.
Emmett recoiled as if I had slapped him and the hurt look was evident on his face.
"Look, Em, I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that, I just…"
"I really hit a nerve, didn't I? Holy shit, you really do like my sister! I freaking knew it!" he said with a look of realisation on his face.
"No," I said in a small voice.
"Ed man, I've seen the way you look at her. It's like the way I look at Rose or the way Jasper looks at… Anyway, don't even try to tell me you don't like her, you're as transparent as cling wrap," he said laughing.
"No, I don't like her. I love her, Emmett."
He abruptly stopped laughing and I prepared for him to go into 'big brother' mode and pummel my ass. But as I looked up to meet his gaze, the only emotion I could read on his face was shock.
"Huh?" was all he said.
"I'm in love with her. I've been in love with her since the day my parents knocked on your front door to introduce us as your neighbours. I know she's your little sister and you have every right to kill me, but I love her," I said to an abruptly angry Emmett.
"Damn right, I want to kill you! Why the fuck haven't you told her, Edward?! Did you know she's been spending time with James Creedie of all people? That piece of shit doesn't even deserve to breathe the same air as my sister, yet I can't say anything to her. You have to tell her and keep that creep away from her, Edward!"
I know he said more after James Creedie but I didn't hear it.
"Bella's going out with James?" I whispered.
"Not yet, but she will. I'm sure of it."
Bella's seeing James?
My Bella is seeing James?
"Fuck Emmett, ever heard of tact? He just told you he loves her and you go saying shit like that?"
I could see Jasper in front of me, but his voice sounded a million miles away.
The whole field began to spin and white spots started to cloud my vision, until all I could see was black…
~*~*~*~*~*~
Wherever I was, the screaming match was not helping my pounding head…
"What did you do to him Emmett? I can't believe you took him out to the field, you know about his allergies!
"Give me some credit; he's my friend, too. We kept him away from the grass! Besides, what do you care? Don't even pretend that you didn't 'accidentally' run in to James in Port Angeles!"
"It's none of your business who I'm friends with, Emmett! And Edward is still my best friend!"
"Yeah? Well, how about you start acting like it instead of dumping him to the side like an old, used doll. He deserves better than that!"
I heard a heavy set of footsteps leave the room and instantly heard sniffling.
I opened my eyes to see the sun was starting to set.
God, how long had I been out?
I turned my head to the source of the sniffling to see Bella kneeling next to me on the couch.
"Oh Edward, you're awake! We were so worried about you!" she cried as she threw her arms around my neck.
It was the first time in almost a year she had been in such close proximity, and it was making me faint all over again' but in a good way.
Her strawberry scented hair fell around my face as I wrapped my arms around her waist tightly. My arms were a perfect fit around her small frame, as if we were two puzzle pieces made to fit together.
She pulled back to look at me with her penetrating gaze.
I felt the nervous butterflies forming in my stomach, and I reflexively licked my lips.
"I'm glad you're ok, what happened?" she whispered.
"Just a bit of sun-stroke, I think. I'm fine now," I lied.
I wasn't going to tell her the real reason…
I watched her expression turn from concerned to upset as she started to cry.
"Edward, I'm sorry. I've been the worst best friend in the world and I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking."
I reached my hand to her face and swiped away the falling tears.
"Bella, I'm not going to lie. This past year, I've been miserable without you. I know that you had to experience these things and grow on your own, and I understand that, but you didn't need to shut me out completely…"
"I know, I'm so sorry! I just became so swept up in all of the things I missed out on and I was being selfish. I didn't consider how you felt. I know I have no right to ask, but please forgive me. I miss you."
"There's nothing to forgive, I'm just glad you're back. You have no idea how much I've missed you Bella," I whispered the last part.
"Thank you," she replied.
She leaned forward and rested her forehead against mine, her lips only an inch away from mine.
I felt myself harden, thinking of all the places I wanted those lips on me…
She surrounded me, invading all of my senses.
Her smell was filling my entire being with every breath, and she was so close I could already taste her on my tongue.
Her small hands were playing with the hair on the back of my neck…
It was too much.
I was suddenly overwhelmed with need for her.
The need won out over my conscience and I felt my breathing accelerate as I slowly leaned my lips toward her.
I felt Bella's breathing pick up and I was confused as to why.
You're probably scaring her, jackass!
I knew that was the reason and that for the sake of our renewed friendship, I should stop; but I couldn't.
It was as though Bella was a drug and I was a bee to the honey…
I heard a throat clear behind me and Bella jumped back.
I wasn't sure whether to be furious or eternally grateful.
"Well, I'm glad you two have finally made up, now things can return to normal around here!" Emmett remarked in his boisterous voice.
I looked over at Bella to find her blushing as she avoided my gaze.
I made a face at her, trying to coax a smile out of her, but all I received in return was a small one that didn't reach her eyes.
God, you ass!
You just got her back, and now you've scared her off!
I promised myself that I would never try something so stupid again.
If I learned one thing this past year, it was that I was miserable without my Bella. I needed her in my life in any aspect that I could get her.
She clearly only wanted to be friends, so I would accept and respect her wishes from now on…
~*~*~*~*~*~
Thankfully, things did return mostly back to normal after that.
Bella balanced her time between the girls and me, and I balanced my time between the guys and her.
The rest of my summer was basically spent at the schools' baseball field, as Emmett and Jasper taught me as much as they could before school resumed.
And if I do say so myself, I was getting pretty damn good…
Both Jasper and Emmett had difficulty hitting my pitches, and considering they were on the Varsity team, that said a lot.
The Sunday before school started, I made my way over to Bella's house.
It felt so good just to be in her room with her again.
I walked in to find her putting up posters on her wall; again…
I sighed as I picked one up from her bed.
"What do you see in this guy, anyway?" I asked.
Bella's 'flavor of the month' was a relatively new actor staring in the latest vampire movie to hit the cinemas.
She whirled around to face me.
"Um, you mean, apart from the fact that he's the hottest guy on the planet?"
I snorted.
"It's true! He was voted 'sexiest man in the world' this year."
"He just looks like a pretty boy with weird coloured eyes who likes to wear lipstick, if you ask me."
"Well, I didn't ask you. Besides, that's just for his character, ass. He is playing a Vampire!"
"I've never heard of a vampire with gold eyes," I muttered under my breath.
She ripped the poster out of my hands and glared at me.
"Edward Cullen, you are ten seconds away from being drop-kicked out of my room!"
I held my hands up in surrender laughing.
"Okay, I'm sorry! I was joking, jeez… I love male emo's in lipstick, makes it better for kissing," I said, puckering my lips at her.
She laughed and threw a pillow at me.
"Besides, I prefer him without the vampire make-up on when he's all stubbly and casual. God, the places I would love to feel that stubble… And that accent!"
My mouth dropped open at her boldness.
I had never heard Bella speak like that, and in fact, it was a fuckhot turn on!
Instead of showing her how much she was affecting me, I decided that making gagging noises would be safer.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were jealous…" she laughed.
I snorted again; she didn't realise just how right she was…
"You know what? If they ever made a movie about us, I think he would make the perfect you. Because you're both so handsome," she said, coming to sit with me on the bed.
She might have said something else, but I didn't hear it…
My heart was beating so hard that I could feel it in my ears.
Bella thinks I'm handsome?
She was staring at me, obviously waiting for some form of answer. Although my insides were doing cartwheels, I decided to play it cool.
"If I have to put up with a pretty boy playing me, who will play you?" I asked her.
"Why, Angelina Jolie of course, as I'm so irresistible to men," she said in a seductive voice, looking up at me through her lashes.
God damn it! I was hard again!
She had no idea how true that statement was…
First week of Junior Year, September:
"You ready, Ed man?" Emmett asked as he draped his arm over my shoulder.
"Ready as I'll ever be," I said, taking a deep breath.
I looked around the field and saw the crowd forming.
"No doubt they've all come to see the school's resident nerd trying out for the team," I muttered.
"Screw 'em, man. Who cares what they think. Just remember what we practiced, don't think about it, and just feel, alright?"
"Cullen, you're up!"
I nodded at Emmett as Mr Banner, our coach, called me up to the plate.
I was suddenly very intimidated, as James stepped up to the plate to bat.
"Ooh, lookie here! Little Eddie is going to try and pitch, how sweet…" he sneered at me.
"You're only making yourself look more stupid, you realise. Why don't you just go back to your books and let the big boys play, huh?"
"I am so out of my league," I thought to myself, as the crowd started snickering at me.
"Come on Edward! You can do it!"
I looked up to the bleachers and saw Bella on her feet cheering with Alice and Rose.
They hadn't seen me play yet, and her being here meant more to me in that moment than she would ever know.
I smiled at James as I got in to my stance, and he sneered back.
I wound up and pitched it with everything I had.
"Strike!"
The crowd became so abruptly quiet that you could hear a pin drop, as James stared at me in disbelief.
I wound up again and pitched.
"Strike two!"
James' expression of disbelief quickly turned to anger as he glared at me.
I wound up and pitched the last ball.
"Strike three! You're out!"
The crowd watching the try-outs erupted in cheers as James continued to glare at me.
"That was awesome, man. I knew you could do it," Emmett bellowed as I walked over to the dugout.
"Thanks, Em."
"Well, Mr Cullen, that's quite an arm you have there! I know you're still a junior this year, but welcome to the Varsity Team. Our first game is this weekend, think you're up to being our opening pitcher?"
I was absolutely stunned and speechless.
"Uh, I'd love to, sir. Thank you."
"Excellent, well make sure you rest up and I'll see you at training," he said as he walked away.
I couldn't stop smiling as James and Tyler walked over to us.
"Opening pitcher is Tyler's position," James said.
"Not anymore, bitches. The Ed-meister is in the house now!" Emmett retorted.
Tyler huffed and walked off as James took a step towards me.
"You're going to regret this, Cullen. No matter how much you change, you will always be that pathetic little nerd underneath, and just because I can't touch you, doesn't mean I can't hurt you."
He leaned in so he was inches from my face.
"I'm going to hit you where it hurts, Cullen, and there won't be a goddamn thing you can do about it."
"Enough bullshit, James, how 'bout you go and blow Tyler's nose for him, hmm?"
He sneered at Emmett and me as he stalked away.
As I turned around, I was knocked to the ground by an unseen strawberry scented force.
"Edward! You were fantastic!" she squealed as I stood us both up.
And then she abruptly slapped me on the chest.
"Ouch! What was that for?"
"Why didn't you tell me you could play?" she growled.
It was so cute that I couldn't help but laugh.
"I didn't know until Em and Jazz dragged me out to the field with them, I swear!"
She eyed me closely, obviously seeing whether I was telling the truth.
"Alright then, you're forgiven. But seriously, Edward, you have a talent," she said as she hugged me again.
I closed my eyes and breathed her scent in deeply, letting a small sigh of contentment escape my lips.
When I opened looked to Alice, I found her staring at me with eyes the size of saucers.
"Ah, thanks, Bella. Um, are you guys coming to the game?"
"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss it for the world!"
She let go of my waist to link arms as we headed to Emmett's car to head home, with Alice staring at me the whole way…
~*~*~*~*~*~
Thankfully, I had avoided seeing Alice alone for the rest of the week.
I was certain she suspected something, but I didn't want anyone else to know.
That all changed on the Friday night before the game.
"Ok, spill it!"
We had just arrived home from school, and Alice was currently cornering me in my room armed with my new baseball bat.
"What are you talking about, Alice?"
She rolled her eyes at me; honestly, sometimes my sister had the maturity level of a ten year old.
"Don't play coy with me, Edward Cullen. You know exactly what I'm talking about! What was that whole thing with Bella at the field?"
"Honestly, Alice, I don't know what you are talking about."
"Oh please, you were clinging to her like a man dying of thirst clings to water, Edward."
"I was not," I muttered.
"Oh… My… God…! This all makes complete sense now! The way your whole demeanour changes around her, the way you were miserable the last twelve months, the way you went to get her ice cream that time… You're in love with Bella, aren't you?!"
I sighed, hanging my head and slumping to the floor; this was a total nightmare.
"Oh Edward, I'm sorry…"
"Yes, I'm in love with her, Alice. I have been since we were ten years old. We even shared our first kiss together… But she doesn't see me as anything more than the 'best friend', and she never will," I said despairingly.
"Edward, I've spent this last year with Bella, and I think that maybe if you gave her the chance…"
I interrupted her mid-sentence; I didn't need to hear this.
"All that would do is push her away again and I can't do that. I stupidly tried to kiss her the other day and she wouldn't even look at me afterwards. She just wants to be my friend, and I've accepted that, no matter how much it hurts me."
"But you don't know…"
"Alice, no. Please drop it, I can't do this."
She stared at me for what felt like hours, and I was starting to get uncomfortable under her gaze.
"Get up!" she demanded abruptly.
I lifted my head up to look at her.
"What?"
"I said, get up!" she said, as she pulled me to my feet and dragged me to her bathroom.
"Sit!"
"I'm not a dog, Alice," I muttered.
"No, but you are being completely naïve and stupid, so I will treat you as such. You don't just sit back and wait for what you want to come to you. You have to be aggressive and take charge. That's what I did with Jasper. I flirted with him shamelessly and made it clear that I was interested, and he got the message."
After asking for my consent, Jasper had finally built up the courage to ask my sister out, and she was ecstatic.
"You know I'm happy for you, Alice, but what does that have to do with me sitting in your bathroom?
"You say that Bella doesn't see you as anything but the 'best friend', so you are going to change her mind. I'm giving you a make over!"
"Oh, no you're not," I said as I pulled off the smock she had draped over my shoulders and tried to stand.
"You listen to me, Edward. I've had enough of you feeling sorry for yourself. Personally, I think there's nothing wrong with your look, and I don't think you are a nerd, but clearly that is how you see yourself. You are never going to get the girl by feeling sorry for yourself, so a fresh attitude is needed. And what better way to achieve that than with a new look?"
I looked into her terribly oversized mirror and sighed.
I'd had the same hair style since I was a child; parted off center and hanging down limply to my cheeks.
It was time for a new look; Alice was right, as always…
"You're the starting pitcher for the Varsity team now, Edward. That's a big deal. Now you just need the confidence to match that ability. I know the real Edward is in there somewhere," she said as she hugged me tightly.
I hugged her back as I nodded.
"Thank you, Alice. You always know what I need."
She squealed and instructed me to sit again as she took out her tools.
Alice was the most fashion savvy person I knew, and I trusted her inexplicably.
I closed my eyes, laid my head back and let her work her magic.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ta-da! Open your eyes and take a look, Edward!"
I did as she asked and I had to blink twice at my reflection.
My longish hair was now cropped short and neat on the sides, long and styled on the top; almost like a bouffant…
And I had to admit, as I ran my fingers through it, that it looked good!
"You like? It now looks like you have hot 'sex-hair' 24/7."
"I do like, Alice, I really like. I feel like a new person…" I said as I replaced my glasses.
Now instead of looking like a loser with them on, I still looked a little nerdy, but also sophisticated.
"Thank you so much, Alice," I said, hugging her tightly.
"You're welcome! If I do say so myself, the girls won't know what hit 'em!" she laughed.
"Well, there's only one girl I've ever wanted. I just hope now she will notice me."
"She'd be blind if she didn't, now, go get 'em, tiger!" she squealed as she swatted my backside.
I laughed as I left Alice's bathroom and got ready for bed.
Tomorrow was a new day…
~*~*~*~*~*~
The next morning, I let Alice show me how to style my new 'do', but it was a total mass of disarray and I couldn't 'do' anything with it.
Alice said that it was okay, and the 'messier the better'. Which was lucky for me, because I couldn't tame my runaway hair.
By the time we got to the field, everyone was already there.
As I made my way over to where the 'gang' was standing, their backs were to me.
"Morning all!" I said as I reached them.
"Morning Edw…" Bella stopped mid sentence and her eyes widened.
"Whoa! You look so different!" Emmett boomed.
"Thanks, Alice decided I was long overdue for a makeover," I said blushing.
"It looks good, man!"
Bella was still staring, looking like she was trying to catch flies with her mouth hanging open.
"Bella? What do you think?"
"I'm sorry, what?" she asked confused.
"Do you like it? I asked her again, laughing.
"Um, yeah, it looks great, Edward. Really nice," she answered, still seeming away in another world.
"Come on man, we got a game to win!" Jasper yelled as he let go of Alice and ran over to the dugout.
"I'll see you after the game?" I asked Bella.
"Yep, I'll be here. Go Spartans," she laughed, but I could tell it was half-hearted.
Maybe she hates it…
I didn't have time to ponder as I was dragged off to warm up and start the game.
~*~*~*~*~*~
We ended up winning the game quite easily, and it was thrilling to feel like a part of something, finally…
Even my parents had shown up.
My mom had had tears in her eyes when I told her I made the team, and my dad said he'd never been prouder, and he even took the day off to be here.
As we sang the victory cheer, the crowd gathered around us, but all I could think of was getting to Bella.
As I was making my way to get my bag, I was stopped by someone blocking my path.
"Wow, Edward, you were great out there today."
I looked up to see none other than Jessica Stanley standing in front of me.
"Uh, thanks Jessica, I…"
"Please, call me Jess," she interrupted.
"Well, uh Jess, if you'll excuse me, I have to get my bag."
"By the way, I love your new haircut. I'll let you in on a little secret. I've always found you good looking, as I have a thing for glasses. But now, you're one big hottie," she said as she ran her fingers though my hair.
Liked me before, my ass! I thought to myself. This girl was giving me the creeps!
"Jessica, I…"
"Jess," she interrupted again.
"Jess, I really have to get going. I have to hit the showers before my parents leave…"
She stepped forward and ran her fingers down my chest.
"Personally, I like you all hot and sweaty, but I can help you wash your back if you'd like…" she cooed at me.
Wow, this girl didn't know how to take no for an answer!
"That's really kind of you, Jess, but I think I'll be okay, thanks."
"Oh come on. Don't think I haven't noticed the way you've looked at me over these past few years. But now, I want a sample of what I've missed," she said as she wrapped her hands around my neck.
Before I could process what she was talking about, she had pulled my head down until our lips collided.
She glided her lips against mine slowly, before opening her mouth and running her tongue along my bottom lip and entering my mouth.
Her mouth became urgent as our tongues slid against each other's.
It felt kind of nice.
Wait!
What are you doing?
What about Bella?
I quickly but politely ended the kiss, pulling away from her.
"Mmm, yummy just as I thought," she said as she licked her lips.
"Here's my number, call me later, baby," she cooed as she placed a piece of paper in the waistband of my pants.
As she walked away, my heart stopped.
Bella had been standing behind Jessica and had seen the whole thing.
My heart sank into my stomach as I walked towards her and noticed she had tears in her eyes.
But why was she crying?
Was it because she hated Jessica?
I didn't understand…
"Bella, I don't know what you think you saw, but…"
"No, Edward, its fine. I mean, we are only friends so we should be able to see other people. Besides, you sure are a hit with the ladies now," she said.
"Well, why are you crying?"
"I'm not. I just had something in my eye, that's all. I'm happy for you, Edward, really. Well, I have to run, but I'll see you soon, okay?" she said as she shuffled her feet, her eyes glued to the ground.
"Please Bella, let's just talk about this," I said reaching for her hand.
"Edward, I really have to go. Great game by the way. Anyway, I'll, ah, call you. Goodbye, Edward."
She turned and practically ran away from me.
I just stood there stunned.
Why was she so upset?
And why did that goodbye sound so final?
Oh shit!
What have I done?
A/N: WHEW! *wipes forehead* long chapter, huh! I'd LOVE to know what you thought!
This was not how i intended this chapter to go, but when i started, the characters just sort of took over... Hopefully you liked it! : )
Poor Nerdyward, he's so naive! lol.
Reviews are much appreciated, I read every single one, they really do make my day.
As per the contest, the last chapter will be up by next Friday : )
Thank you to everyone who donated to the 'Fandom Gives Back' auction. TotallyObsessed82 actually bought yours truly and is wanting a Nerdyward out-take/One-shot. So keep me or this story on alert : )
The voting for the "Les Femmes Contest" starts on the 30th of November. You can find my entry, "The course of love never did run smooth..." in my stories on my profile page. If you like it, please leave me some love : )
Thanks for reading xox