Chapter 4: All That Remains Pt.1
Hawke has decided to go check up on Fenris at his "new" home. When she arrives he opens the door before she can even knock, as if he knew she was coming. He heads up the stairs to the center room and she follows him.
Hawke takes a seat near the warmth of the fireplace. No matter how hard she tries, she can never get her fires to be this strong. She looks over to Fenris who has picked up a large bottle of wine. He looks down at it for a moment and then takes a drink.
"Agreggio Pavali," he says. "There are six bottles in the cellar. Denarius used to have me pour it for his guests. My appearance 'intimidated them,' he said, which he enjoyed." He looks back at Hawke.
"I can't imagine why they would be put off," she says with a smile. The corners of his mouth turn up slightly.
"You say what's on your mind, I'll give you that." Fenris looks at the bottle again. He suddenly throws the bottle across the room, it shatters and splashes its contents all over the walls and floor.
"You could've offered me a glass first, you know." Hawke said jokingly.
"There's more, if you're really interested," he says as he watches the wine trickle down the wall.
"Perish the thought," Hawke says, waving her hand. "How else would you redecorate the walls?"
Fenris laughs for a moment, then stops himself with a low grumble.
"I've wanted to leave my past behind me, but it won't stay there." He takes a seat at the bench adjacent from Hawke. "Tell me, have you never wanted to return to Ferelden?"
Hawke explains her story briefly, trying not to think of her brother that she lost on the way here. She would rather hear his story than listen to herself talk, anyways. There is something interesting about him. Perhaps it's the markings? Hawke finds herself tracing them over and over again with her eyes. She hopes he doesn't notice. He continues on about his former master, Denarius.
"You could track down your former master, I assume," she says.
"I imagine he has returned to Minrathous, though I dare not go near the city while he is alive. It is better to wait for him to leave his fortress, fight from a fortified position. I do not expect your help when that day comes, but I would not turn it aside."
Perhaps it is his voice. Hawke can almost hear his lifetime of pain in every word. It's a sultry sort of voice, but at the same time it's somewhat aggressive. She watches his lips as he talks. She finds herself…fascinated by him. His life is so full of pain, yet he speaks about it calmly. It almost seems as though he is putting on a front, but it's too soon to tell.
"Had I known Anso would find me a woman so capable, I might've asked him to look sooner," Fenris says with a smile.
Without even thinking Hawke says, "Maybe I should be thanking Anso."
"Maybe you should," Fenris says. He stands nervously. "Perhaps I'll practice my flattery for your next visit? With any luck I'll become better at it."
Fenris watches Hawke go down the stairs and quietly go out the door. Now he's alone. Again. He finds himself replaying their conversation in his head. It was an unimportant casual conversation, but it told him a lot about her. The whole time he just kept talking, hoping she didn't notice that he was admiring her bright blue eyes as she spoke.
He eventually decides that thinking of Hawke in any other way than a companion is never going to get him anywhere good.
Hawke returns to Gamlen's house, Bethany waiting impatiently at the door.
"Where were you?" she says, obviously agitated. Hawke brushes past her.
"Why are you so upset?" Hawke says.
"You went to see that elf, didn't you?"
"Perhaps. Why does it matter, Bethany?"
"Because. I feel like he wants to kill me!"
"Get over yourself. Not everyone is out to get you." Hawke goes toward her room, Bethany stomping behind her.
"If Carver knew – " Hawke turns on her heels and puts herself face to face with her sister.
"Don't bring Carver into this!" she yells.
"Hey! Quit your bickering!" Gamlen says as he steps into the hall. "Some of us are trying to relax!" Gamlen goes back into his room, talking incoherently to himself.
Hawke and Bethany stare each other down for a moment. Bethany turns quickly and walks out the door, glaring at Hawke over her shoulder.
xxxxx
1 Day After Kirkwall
Fenris, Hawke, Aveline and Varric are camping out somewhere between Sundermount and Antiva. Hawke and Aveline have already gone to sleep.
Varric sits near the fire, disassembling Bianca to clean and maintain her. He looks up at Fenris who is fiddling with something.
"What are you doing over there?" says Varric. Fenris is so focused on whatever he's doing that he doesn't even hear him initially. Varric tries again to get his attention.
"Fenris!"
Fenris has his back turned to Varric as he sits cross-legged on his bedroll.
"What?" he hisses, glancing over his shoulder at the dwarf.
"What in the Maker are you doing over there? If it's something dirty…eh, forget I asked."
"What are you doing?" he hissed again, his gaze returning to his task.
"Why, I'm cleaning Bianca of course. If I don't keep her lubed up – "
"Forget I asked."
After a few moments, Varric's curiosity overwhelmed him and he stood suddenly and walked over to Fenris. Fenris was again so distracted that he didn't even notice him. Varric cautiously peered over Fenris's shoulder. He had a hunk of sylvanwood in one hand, a small short blade in the other.
"You're whittling? Andraste's tits, I didn't know you knew how to do anything practical."
Fenris is noticeably startled. "Why are you watching me!" he growled.
"Calm down, elf. Maker, I can't even tie my own boots."
"I don't wear shoes."
"This is true. Anyways, whatever it is that you're making…it's lovely."
"I don't know what it is."
"Well, don't let me keep you." Varric mumbled as he walked back to continue working on Bianca.
Fenris paused for a moment and examined his work-in-progress. The wood had dark veins running through it. It reminded him of himself. I can't explain how I do this. I saw this piece of tree and I had to retrieve it. I don't know why. I was compelled to cut at it. I realized as I continued that a form appeared. I think it is…a heart. Err…
Xxxxx
The next day
Hawke and her companions find themselves heading north now, toward Antiva. This was mostly Varric's idea seeing at though he has never conducted any business there.
Varric finds himself constantly looking over his shoulder at Fenris and Hawke as they continue on. He cannot un-see what he saw between them the other day. No, no, no, no one would believe that. What about, 'The rogue found herself madly in love with the dark broody elf.' Nah, that's no good. Maker, even if I did write this stuff down, no one would believe me.
Aveline leads the group, as always. She has spoken to Hawke about Fenris before, but then she only alluded to a relationship and wouldn't confirm it. "Do you think he made it this far?" she says.
"Who?" Hawke says.
"Anders?" she says, looking back at Hawke and Fenris.
Fenris finds himself automatically clenching his fist every time someone mentions that name. Everything that ever happened these last seven years was all because of Anders. In a way he still resents that Hawke chose not to kill him, but he understands why.
"I don't know," Hawke says. She strokes Fenris's arm with the side of her finger and he relaxes his grip.
"Sundermount is endless, it seems." Aveline says, changing the subject. "I feel like we've been looking at the same cliff faces for days."
"Antiva is not too far from here," says Varric. No one says anything, all of them feeling the tension Aveline has caused.
They continue on and eventually see the outskirts of Antiva. Several small cottages are spread out in a large clearing. The group can smell the fresh baked goods from a nearby home. They have been on the move for days and have only eaten berries and small animals, where they could find them. As they approach this small village, an tan-skinned elf runs right up to them, smiling.
"Excuse me," says the elf, his strong Antivan accent coming through. "Are you the champion of Kirkwall?"
Everyone looks at Hawke who says nothing. Fenris steps in front of her. "And if she is?" he says to the elf.
"No troubles, friend," the elf says, bowing slightly. "My name is Tyron. You saved my friend Zevran. He made me promise to give you a place to stay if you ever came through. So I'm offering." At that Fenris drops his guard.
"Zevran told you about me?" Hawke says as she moves to stand beside Fenris.
"Eh, he sent a letter about you. You look like her," says the elf.
Hawke realizes this elf means no harm and decides to go with him. She nods her head and Tyron gestures for them to follow. He takes them to a small brown stone house, which is obviously not maintained.
"Here," says the elf. "It's not the best, but it is something. I live right over there," he points to a larger green house with a grey chimney. "You are welcome to come by for dinner, as I am sure you are hungry." The elf nods at them and trots back over to his home. Hawke and company look at each other. Hawke shrugs her shoulders and makes her way inside.
There are cobwebs in every corner and a thin film of dust all over the furniture. From the hallway they can all make out three bedrooms, a living area combined with a modest kitchen, and a study. Varric goes over to start a fire in a fireplace, placing Bianca on the chair nearby. Hawke goes up stairs inspect the bedrooms. Fenris goes and sits at the table in the kitchen. He's exhausted and his mind is all over the place, mostly flooded with thoughts about Hawke. He doesn't even hear Aveline walk up behind him.
"So…I've heard you have quite a talent there." Aveline said to Fenris. She stands in the doorway, arms crossed.
"Oh, let me guess," Fenris says, looking over his shoulder.
"You know Varric. Can't resist a good story."
"Yes…it's unfortunate."
"Not when it's true. Please?" Aveline walks over to the side of the table and looks down at him.
Fenris hesitates, but he knows that Aveline means well. Of all of Hawke's companions, Aveline was the one with the purest intentions. He pulls a small satchel from his belt and spills it's contents out on the table. There were 3 pieces: a tree, a heart, and a sword.
"They're beautiful." Aveline says as she picks up the heart. "So detailed. I didn't know you could do this."
"Neither did I." Fenris watches as Aveline turns the piece in her hand, admiring it's intricacies.
"You didn't know?"
"As I said before, I don't remember anything before…hmm," he grumbles to himself as he turns in shame. Aveline senses his obvious discomfort and puts the piece down quietly on the table. Fenris stares at the sylvanwood heart before him. He hears Aveline's footsteps receding. Suddenly she stops. He peers over his shoulder at her standing in the doorway.
"It's a good thing, Fenris." Then she leaves.
It's a good thing? I have a skill I cannot explain. I can't remember anything. All I remember is…
In a flash Fenris smashes his hand hard on the table, shattering the sylvanwood heart underneath his palm.
Denarius.
Varric jumps slightly, looking across the living area at Fenris. He just shakes his head and continues making a fire. Aveline goes upstairs to speak with Hawke.
She enters the first bedroom to find Hawke shaking the dust off of the bedsheets.
"Hawke…" Aveline says, picking up a pillow. "May I ask you something?" Hawke smiles and stops shaking out the sheet. She folds it up and places it at the foot of the double-bed.
"Of course," Hawke says, picking up the other pillow.
"I saw Fenris the other night. Are you two…together?" Hawke feels her cheeks flush. She begins shaking out the pillow.
"And if I said we were?"
"I knew it!" Aveline said, playfully hitting Hawke with the pillow, dust flies everywhere.
"He didn't want me to tell anyone." Hawke says.
"Why not?"
"He said that if anyone knew, Anders would know. He hates Anders."
"That explains a lot actually," Aveline says. "He came to me once about Anders."
"Really?"
"Yes…" Aveline recounts the incident to Hawke.
The Viscount's Keep. Aveline waits patiently for Fenris, who would not agree to meet her anywhere else. She assumed he was trying to convince her to acquire more information about Varania.
Without knocking or announcing himself, Fenris storms through the door to the guard-captains office. A small group of guardsmen had been trailing him since he walked into the Keep. Aveline nearly falls out of her seat in surprise. She motions for the guardsmen to move on.
"I need to speak with you, now!" He growls.
"You could at least close the door." She says as she points.
Fenris resists the urge to slam it, afraid the guardsmen would leap onto him the first chance they got.
"I apologize. I did not mean to alarm you." He says as he takes a seat across from Aveline. He looks down at the floor.
"It's fine. Something is obviously troubling you."
"Yes. The apostate." He grits his teeth.
"Anders? What about him?" she says, leaning forward in her chair.
"I cannot tolerate him. He is an abomination."
"What did he do to you?"
"Nothing!" Fenris yells, standing suddenly. He begins to pace. "He has done nothing to me!"
"Then what's the issue?" Aveline leans back again.
Fenris continues to pace. "It's Hawke. The way he looks at her. I can't take it."
"The way he…looks at her?"
"Yes. With such intent."
"To harm her?"
"No – I don't know. It takes everything in me not to tear him apart."
"Please sit down. You're making me nervous." Fenris pauses and takes his seat again. "I don't think he intends to harm her. Honestly, I think it's the opposite."
"What do you mean!" he snarls, glaring at Aveline.
"He cares about her. It's obvious, I thought."
With that, Fenris gets his feet quickly, nearly knocking over the chair. Before Aveline can get another word in, he storms out the same way he came in. Guardsman Donnic was waiting outside patiently. After Fenris passed him he leaned in to check on Aveline.
"Everything alright, Captain?" he says as he peers around the door.
"It's fine. Carry on."
Aveline looks back at Hawke now, who is obviously confused. "When did that happen?" Hawke says finally.
"Uh…five years ago, maybe?"
"Hmm…" Hawke and Aveline put down the pillows. "I wonder why he never told me that."
"He probably thought you would be upset with him."
"Well, I wouldn't have."
"Anyways," Aveline says, putting her hand on Hawke's shoulder. "Let's go see if that Tyron guy really is going to give us dinner."