sorry for the long wait! btw, fuery is flipping adorable

~*~Alphonse~*~

The funeral for the Colonel is today. I'm the only one that doesn't have to get dressed so I opt to help Ren look presentable as well as Fuery. As I finish breakfast for everyone, I go to check on Ren but find him still looking at the clothing.

"Ren?" He looks up at me. "You okay?"

"I don't know how to put it on."

I mentally whack himself in the head for not realizing the issue and nod.

"That's alright. I'll help you."

He starts to take off the clothing he has on and I replace it with funeral appropriate clothing. I put the tie around his neck and tighten it. He moves it around and I smile.

"Uncomfortable?" I ask.

"Uh huh…"

"They're not supposed to be comfy." I say with a laugh.

"Fuery next!" he says, dropping something at my feet and looking up at me with a happy expression and a tail wag.

I smile and bend down to get what he had dropped and find a uniform jacket. I look at him as he pants at me, his eyes hopeful.

"You want to wear this to the funeral?"

Fuery turns his head. "Fuery under Colonel. Fuery dress nice."

I smile and pat him on the head.

"Alright, I'll put this on you but I'll do it when we get there so you won't get it dirty, okay?"

Fuery barks and I put the jacket on the back of the chair. I hear the door open upstairs and Brother comes down, looking so odd in his military regalia than his normal wear. His jacket is undone and his boots are untied but he looks rather nice in the uniform. As he gets to the end of the stairs, he looks up at me and smiles.

"Morning."

"Morning. Are you feeling a little better?"

"Yeah…" He turns to look at Ren, who is looking at him intently. "You look very nice in your suit, Ren."

"Thank you, Uncle Ed…" he says softly.

"Fuery dress up too!" he said, running up to Edward with a wag of his tail. "Fu-ner-al, fu-ner-al…" he sings as he moves his head side to side.

Ed smiles at him as well and I show him breakfast.

"I'm sure everyone's not as hungry as usual but if you don't eat you could pass out."

"Yeah…"

He sits down to eat as Ren slowly shuffles over and sits down as well. He doesn't seem to want to eat.

"Ren?" He looks up. "Are you alright?"

"I don't wanna go."

Edward looks at him for a moment but doesn't say anything.

"Why not?" I ask.

"I killed Papa and I don't wanna see him go in the ground."

Edward grips his fork angrily and I make a face.

"No one is blaming you for the Colonel's death, Ren. No one is going to say that you were the cause of anything. You weren't. And neither were you, Ed. You didn't do anything to cause his death."

Edward says nothing as Ren gets up and leaves the table. Fuery runs after him and I glare at Brother.

"Brother, you're making him think he's the one who caused the issue."

"Well if he hadn't been in the Colonel in the first place, I wouldn't have had to slice him open." He seethes.

I bang my hand on the table and he looks up at me.

"That is not right, Brother. You know as well as I do that he couldn't help his growth. Tucker did this and only him. He caused the Colonel's death by making Ren but after that, it's no one else's fault. Stop blaming Ren."

Brother stands up and then looks down at me.

"I'll stop blaming him when I stop blaming myself. We're partners in crime, he and I. We both killed Mustang… No one can change that fact. Not you, not Hawkeye, not Maes… We killed him together."

He walks away and I know that he will never forgive himself.

~*~Maes~*~

Gracia fixes my military uniform, putting the back of the collar down. I smile at her as she looks at me with a saddened expression. I play with the pearls around her neck for a second and she reaches up to softly kiss me on the cheek.

"Things will get better, Maes…"

"I don't know about that. Have you heard any word from Winry?"

Gracia nods and touches my cheek. "I'm going to go to the train station shortly to greet her from the train."

"Thank you. I'm sure she would appreciate it. You know what cemetery it will be in right?"

"Yes, I remember. You're all set as of right now. You should go so that you don't miss it..."

"Right…"

"It'll be alright, Maes."

I just nod, hoping that what Gracia says is right.

I get to the site and find most of the subordinates there already, minus Ed, Al, Ren, and Fuery. Havoc turns to me and smiles as Hawkeye turns as well. She gives me the best smile she can, but I know other than Edward, the Colonel's death hurts her more than she will let on. Guests start piling in one after the other and I see Madame Christmas with her girls come in and walk over to her. Upon seeing me she frowns and I clear my throat. We were never on the best of terms.

"Madame Christmas."

"Hughes. I thought I could count on you to keep my Roy-boy safe? Why am I here at his funeral?"

"I'm so sorry, Madame Christmas. It was something that was way out of my control. If I could, I would have endured what he went through a thousand times. He was my best friend…"

Madame Christmas snubs me and walks past me.

"That's what I get for trusting a military dog with my boy. Look at him now… You have a rank for being six feet under?"

She is right, of course, but having it told to you personally and blatantly, it seems to hurt worse then.

"Maes?"

I turn to see Gracia with Elicia in her arms and Winry beside her. I smile at her and she smiles at me.

"Hello, Mr. Hughes. Thank you so much for calling me."

"You're welcome. I figured the Elrics wouldn't call you due to their… issues."

Winry nods. "Mrs. Hughes told me about what happened. I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Edward's taking it the hardest…"

"That sounds like him. Always taking the blame from someone else. I think he feeds off of it."

I smile a little. "I can see that."

"Winry?"

We all turn to see the Elric brothers coming in.

~*~Edward~*~

Going to this funeral is taking every bit of strength I have in my body. Trying not to fall to the ground and crawl away like a baby is taking everything I have. I had a small breakdown last night but that didn't even put a dent into the duties that I still have as the Fullmetal Alchemist. I still have to look brave and calm and collected because that is what everyone is expecting of me, Edward Elric. I don't breakdown and cry in corners, sobbing my eyes out like a baby. I don't want to die myself, carving out my heart and throwing it as far away as I can throw it. I don't wish to god that the taboo was anything but the taboo and I can just gather Roy in my arms and make a transmutation circle to bring him back.

No. I do not do that.

Edward Elric doesn't do any of those things.

He is strong, collected, brave, smart, and understanding. He has to believe that he wasn't the cause of his superior's death; that the other thing that helped his demise was behind him in the hands of his brother. He is okay with Ren. He is okay with this funeral.

"Brother, look." Alphonse says and I look up.

Up ahead I see a flash of blonde hair and find that Winry is with the Hughes', smiling to the other soldiers that are speaking to her. We make our way to her.

"Winry?"

They all turn and Hughes smiles at me.

Edward Elric does not want to punch people in their faces... at somber events.

"Hello, boys. I had a feeling that you would be too busy with everything to remember about Winry so, I invited her."

I smile at Winry. "I'm glad. I forget sometimes that you knew the Colonel."

Winry smiles sadly. "I know how much he meant to you. I'm so sorry, Ed, Al… And who is this?" she asks, looking at Ren.

"This is Ren, the Colonel's… son…" Al says, faltering.

Winry makes a face as Ren lays his head on Al's breastplate.

"He's… quite large."

"Something's up with him. We aren't going to try and find out until later. We have this to do."

Edward Elric does not cry.

"Right… Hello, Ren, my name is Winry. I'm Ed and Al's friend from a faraway place."

Ren laughs a little, embarrassed about Winry but finally shakes her hand. Winry smiles at him and rubs his hand softly.

"I'm sure this is quite confusing and hard."

"Baby Colonel scared." Fuery says from the ground, making Winry jump.

The odd voice seems to attract attention and I had forgotten that Fuery was walking along with us. He looks up at Winry, his tongue lolling out. She smiles a little.

"And um…"

"I don't know how much the Hughes' told you but that's one of Mustang's other men, Sergeant Kain Fuery. He was… well… he was turned into that."

"Trust Edward…" Fuery says, looking at me positively.

Winry seems to understand the issue and nods.

We make our way around before the funeral actually starts when it seems the ceremony is about to begin. Al says he'll take Ren to a seat when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look over it and find Lieutenant Hawkeye looking at me.

"Lieutenant…"

"You're going to be up here with us."

"What? I don't think-"

"Come on, Chief, you know it wouldn't be the same without you."

"Fuery come too." We all turn as Fuery looks at us with determination. "Fuery is subordinate. Colonel like."

Havoc seems to change into a shade of red I've never seen as he also grabs me by my uniform and raises me up to his level.

"How could you do that to him? How could you degrade him like that and even put a military jacket on him?! As if that would solve the whole issue?! What kind of sick bastard are you?!"

Edward Elric does not feel.

Hawkeye grabs a hold of Havoc's arm but he's not wanting to let go. Finally, Breda comes over to help and they ask what's wrong. Havoc points at Fuery, his hand shaking.

"You said you could turn him back! You said he'd be fine! Why is he a dog?! How could you degrade him like this? HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE HUMAN!"

"I know." I say. Edward Elric does not crumble. "I can get him back but there was a chance that things could go awry. A low chance, but if I had tried to turn him human before the funeral and something happened, I could never forgive myself knowing that I was the one who made him unable to attend such an important event."

"And did you tell Fuery that? Huh? What about him? Did he get any say in the matter?" Havoc seethes.

"Fuery trust Ed. Ed says he turn Fuery back after grass place time." Fuery says with a nod. "Fuery trust Ed."

Havoc sighs, running his fingers through his slicked back hair and breathes in deep.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't have assumed. I'm just… not in my right mind."

"Is anyone?" Hawkeye says. She looks at Alphonse and sees Ren. "Is this…"

"Yeah, that's him."

Edward Elric does not blame others for his own mistakes.

"Why is he big like this? Is something wrong with him?"

"We don't know yet. We'll figure out what's going on later. I think they're calling us." I say, pointing to the podium.

"Baby Colonel come too?" Fuery asks.

Everyone looks back at Ren and Hawkeye sighs.

"He should be up here since it was his father."

She walks to Alphonse and holds out her hands.

"My name is Lieutenant Hawkeye, I was a close friend of your father's. Would you mind letting me hold you for the ceremony?"

Ren looks at her for a moment and suddenly beams, reaching out to her. She gathers him in her arms and she walks to the stage. I follow suit as Winry and Alphonse go to take seats elsewhere.

Edward Elric does not wish to die.

so even though ed had that tiny burst of ooc emotion, it could never be enough for the ones he still has to tame inside. that's why he's starting to have to remind himself of what everyone expects of him. he could go cra- er, uh... i mean, he's got his guilty voice that blames himself 100%, he also has the blame voice that blames ren 100%, then he has his own mentality that says it's 50/50, and then he has his mantra, that edward elric is a pillar of perfection and nothing can make him crack. yeah we'll see where this leads you hun *eye roll*