Disclaimer – I own nothing, sadly.

Chapter 4 - None of my pain woe can show through

EPOV

It's been a long week, but I'm really enjoying my job. The campus and the kids are great and I already feel like I made the right decision to come here. Finally the weekends here and I need to relax, on my way home I notice a bar called Emmett's a few blocks from campus. It looks pretty laid back and I could use a drink, I think I'll come check it out later. First I want to get home and chill for a bit.

After I get out of my car, I go inside and head straight for the shower. It takes a few minutes to get hot enough but it is well worth the wait, the hot water pounding into my neck and shoulders feels amazing and I can already notice some of the tension slipping away. After my shower I see that it is still pretty early to go to the bar, so I head over to the bookshelf I have in my living room and pick out a book to read. I love to curl up on my couch and read for a couple hours when I have time.

Having spent so much time studying literature I have a great appreciate for the classics and modern novels, but my guilty pleasure are ones with romances in them. Not the raunchy books with half naked men on the cover, but well written ones where there is more to the story than just sex. I've never had a relationship with someone who made me feel the way the characters do and since I can't find someone for me I try to get as close to feeling those emotions as I can. Sometimes when I am feeling alone readings how I escape.

It's about 8:15 when I decide to put the book down and head to the bar. It's really not too far, so I decide to walk, since the air is pretty cool. It's a nice evening for a walk and I make it to the bar in about fifteen minutes. There are quite a few people here so I take a seat at the bar and order a beer from the bartender. She is extremely good looking, even preferring men I can still appreciate her beauty. She's tall, with long blond hair, kind of thinner but curvy in the right areas. "Here you go, sugar. My name is Rose. Just let me know when you need something."

I watch her as she walks towards the other end of the bar to help another patron. She seemed nice enough. Drinking my beer, I look around and take in the bar. It's pretty big, even though you can't tell from outside, with booths and tables filling the main area and the bar stretches along the left wall all the way to the back where there is an employees only door next to the stage platform. It looks like someone might be playing tonight since there was a microphone, stool, and guitar set up. I turn back to the bar and take another long pull from the beer.

I'm on my second bottle when I hear the sexiest voice, "The name's Jasper, and I'm gonna sing for a bit. Hope ya'll enjoy." I turn around and see the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on. Even sitting on the stool I can tell he's tall, his blonde hair is slightly curly and reaches his chin. As he takes a minute to tune his guitar, it falls but doesn't block my view of his face. He has a sharp jaw with a hint of stubble that makes my mouth water and there's a crease in his brow that my fingers itch to smooth out.

He's wearing a bright blue cotton shirt that hugs his chest and arms, showing off his fit upper body. He definitely is more muscular than me, but not bulky looking. His legs are covered in dark blue denim jeans and the look is topped off with cowboy boots. Damn, he is sexy. Nothing, however, prepared me for when he started singing. It was so raw, just in the first few words I could feel his emotions, such pain and loneliness.

My heart hurts for this man I've never met before and I feel like I have to take that pain away. He still hasn't looked up from his guitar; actually it looks like his eyes are closed. He seems so collected on that stage, like he doesn't actually feel any of what he is singing. But his voice gives him away. He suddenly looks up and right at me. He never looses his place in the song, but I can see the change in his face, the confused look. He keeps looking at me for another thirty seconds and then quickly looks back to his guitar.

It doesn't escape me that he only looked at me, but more intriguing was the confused look on his face. I wonder what he was thinking. He plays for another forty-five minutes, during which he glances at me about three more times. I couldn't help but watch him the entire time, never even drinking from my beer at the bar. All my attention is on him and it is only broken when he walks through the employee door.

I turn back to the bar and order a cold beer to replace the warm one in front of me. Never has someone consumed my thoughts so much, even now with him out of sight I can think of nothing else. How his voice wraps around every word of every song, like his life is clinging to it and he lives through it. How his fingers glided up and down the neck of his guitar and his eyes would close when the songs got more emotional, but more that that, how my heart even still aches for him and my mind is full of only him.

I am brought out of my thoughts when I feel someone watching me. I look towards the feeling and see him watching me as he walks into the room and heads toward the stage. When he realizes I'm looking at him, he looks away and sets back up. He glances back again as he is starting his new set and that's when I know he is affected by me in some way. I need to talk to him, get to know him and I'm going to try when he is done for the night. He plays for about another hour, and it goes the same as before, with quick glances every once in a while and his heart wrenching singing. When he's finally done I quickly pay my tab so that I won't have a distraction when I try to talk to him. As he walks from the stage he seems to be heading straight for the door, looking down at the floor the whole time. Quickly I make my move.

JPOV

The first week of the semester is over and it went fine. I can already tell I'm going to have a few students in my undergraduate classes that won't do too well, however my graduate classes are full of kids excited to learn about the Civil War. But now it's time to go home and get ready to play at the bar.

When I get to Emmett's I wave to Rose and head into the back room. There is a small couch and TV in there and I want to relax for a little before I have to go on stage. Emmett's watching a football game when I come in and I go sit next to him on the couch. He turns to me and punches me in the shoulder, "Hey man, how's it hanging?"

"Geez, do you have to hit me every time you see me? Any harder and I might not be able to play and will need to go on disability." I say and rub my shoulder to make him think it hurt.

"Ha ha ha, shut up pussy. I know you can handle it. Rose is your sister, remember. She hits harder than I do, and that shit hurts." Emmett laughs.

"Yea you would know. Maybe if you didn't act like a douche all the time your wife wouldn't slap you in the back of the head all of the time." That earns me another punch but then he laughs loudly and wiggles his eyebrows,

"That ain't the only thing she slaps." Too. Much. Information.

"Thanks Em, just the visual I needed. Shouldn't you get back to work before Rose kicks your ass for making her run the place herself?" He gets up to leave but stops at the door and says before he leaves

"Hey Jasper, shouldn't you get a life so Rose doesn't kick your ass for being a mope?" Dick. But he is right. Rose has been on me more lately about spending so much time alone. Honestly, if I didn't have her and Emmett, I would be completely alone. Just what I need, to think about how much my life sucks right before I sing for a bunch of people I don't know. Oh well, what's new? Nothing.

I have about fifteen minutes before I need to go out there, so I go through my set list one more time to make a couple changes with my new mood. I change the song I start with to Behind Blue Eyes by The Who, and replace a few others with Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles, Mad World by Gary Jules, and Little Lion Man by Mumford & Sons. The last song I change to is Somewhere I Belong, by Linkin Park.

When it's time, I head to the stage and give my introduction, which I hate. I wish I could just sit and start playing without talking to the whole place, but I deal. I am used to it by now. I make sure my guitar is tuned and start on my first song. I really missed this; with school this week I haven't had a chance since Monday to play. It feels really good to just sing my heart out, be close to letting people know the real me and what I feel.

This time feels different though, I feel kind of antsy, like someone is watching me. Although I am playing for a whole room, so it should make sense but this is different. I look up and without even thinking about where my eyes go and they lock right onto an angel. God he is gorgeous. And he is staring right back at me. He looks to be about my height, with a strong face. His hair is brown but the light shows there is a red tint to it and it looks disheveled, probably from him running his hand through it like he is doing right now.

Why am I thinking so much about this guy, especially here? I need to collect myself before someone sees me ogling him. I can't risk Rose or anyone I know, finding out that I like men and specifically the one at the bar. I quickly look back down and hope no one noticed, well except I know he did. But he was looking at me so intently, like he was trying to figure something out. I try to play the rest of my set and pretend he is not there. Unsuccessfully, I might add. I can't help but glance up at him a few more time while I play, but I never let my eyes linger for too long. He doesn't seem to be doing anything else; he looks like he hasn't moved at all.

When my set ends I high-tail it to the back room, God that was intense. I've never been so enamored with someone just by looking at them and it felt like his eyes were piercing into me the whole time. I need to get out of here. How am I going to make it through another set? I try to calm down while I take my fifteen minute break. That face won't leave my thoughts alone. I can't help but imagine my finger tracing the lines of his jaw and neck. He has a nice long neck, great for licking. One more hour. One more hour and I can go home and hopefully forget about him.

I go back to the stage, but as soon as I open the door I can't help but look at him again. He is facing the bar, so I get another view of him. He is in a black shirt and tight blue jeans, both that show off his lean form. He turns back around and looks right at me so I turn and hurry up the stage. Damn, he is gorgeous, if only I had seen him in one of the clubs in Portland and not here. I look up at him again before I start and let my self imagine for about 1.2 seconds what it would be like to be happy and with him. Shaking my head I start the song.

As I continue my set, I still can't help but look at him a few more times. His attention never wavers, and my mind wonders if he… no I'm not going down that road. It could never work. That intense feeling never goes away though, and it is only less intense when I look back at him. I find it comforting though, I like him looking at me. I try to enjoy the rest of my set, and wonder what he's thinking. When I am done, I pack up quickly, once done I wave at Emmett and Rosalie and stalk towards the door and keep my eyes trained on the floor.

Suddenly, two shoes are blocking my view, and I realize my path also. I stop and look up to find out what is keeping me from my escape. An angel. Damn it! I couldn't see his eyes from the stage, but now that I can I gasp. They are beautiful, a brilliant green that reminds me of quite afternoons on the side of a mountain, peaceful and full of life. His skin is perfect, ivory and smooth. And his lips are pouty and pink. He is beautiful and everything I can't have. I realize we have both just stood here and stared at each other, and he hasn't said anything. I try to make my leave but he steps to the side in my way again and whispers, "Wait."

AN: So, they finally meet. What do ya'll think? Thanks for reading and reviewing, and a lot of thanks to my beta DreamingPoet1988!