Yo.
Lots more Kanda in this Chapter, if you were wondering.

The next one will probably come quite a bit faster, since I unintentionally wrote half of it already. (Shrugs) But this one's a bit shorter, 'cause there was a nice cut off point.

And does anyone really read this…? I'm actually wondering. Motovation boost, anyone. 'Cause it's really boring when no one gives me feedback. And it'll keep writing itself either way, but I do wanna know what people think. I might not even yell at the bad comments… Much. Because this is an idea, I'm not stealing her characters and trying to say they're mine- I would't be posting on FANfiction if I was... Just sayin'.

(Grins) Enjoy? I hope you do.

My Loathsome Lover:
Chap. 3;
This Player's Game.

O0O

The Wednesday after his talk with Lavi, Allen made his first efforts to talk to Kanda again, at least- feeling for the life of him like he was right back at the beginning.

There was one class that he and Kanda had together- just them. Because while most of the other classes were scheduled with intent to follow Alma around for the Earl's needs, this had been the next best thing when he couldn't get into the other man. The class with only his target's similarly aged brother- next best thing.

Then, he didn't know that Kanda was such a jackass to first impressions. Then, he didn't know how much that would excite him. Or how much of a wonderful challenge that would make for him. And mostly- how easily he could lose himself in the dark-haired man.

Now, he did.

And Allen was more than welcoming for that challenge to taunt him again- he actually hoped it would.

He didn't feel disappointed, as he walked into the class he'd been avoiding for weeks now- ten minutes late.

The teacher and woman with dark curls and wonderful bright green eyes, was instantly glaring at him. "Mr. Walker," she scolded him instantly, "Please take your seat." Allen flashed her a glowing smile and did just that. Kanda glaring daggers as he moves right passed him and takes the seat right behind him. Seated at the back of the room, in the corner where no one would go, for fear of Kanda's killing intent, they were as alone as Allen knew Kanda would allow them to be, for now.

Leaning into his desk, toward Kanda's right shoulder, Allen began his game again.

"You never answered me," he whispered up to him. From the angle he couldn't see Kanda's face, but from the rough release of air, he knew the other man was glaring.

"What the hell are you talking about," the exorcist in front of him hisses back, turning his head just enough for Allen to see a bit of his angry and confused expression.

"You never answered me-," he repeats, his steel eyes locked onto the part of Kanda's face he could see, moving only to check the front of the room, where the teacher was still overly-involved in writing on the board. "-When I asked you if you were mad."

Kanda's form seemed to still. Then turning his head a bit back toward him, Kanda glared at him again. But it wasn't the hurt/angry glare- it was the 'you're so stupid' glare he used to be privy to a lot (what felt like) a long while ago. "That's a retarded question," Kanda hissed back after a moment, before he quickly turned to face forward again. His posture was different as he seat back in his seat and rejoined the class, less stick-like and a bit easier.

And Allen, feeling better than he had in (what felt like) a long while, let a genuine smile creep onto his lips.

Game resumed.

O0O

On Monday, he spoke to Lavi. On Wednesday, he spoke to Kanda. And it seemed on Friday, he would at least see either Lenalee or Alma. Or maybe, it would be both. Wisely seemed to think so.

And Allen would be lying if he said he wasn't concerned with The Fifth's new involvement with the female exorcist- who was also the chief supervisor of the area's little sister. Not that Wisely didn't already know that.

He'd heard off handedly of how the Earl had made another move recently. He'd watched his friends keep their faces tight against it- but Allen knew that at least two exorcists had died. He'd felt it instantly.

And tonight The Fifth had called him, when he'd noticed Alma hurrying toward Lenalee's not-so-well-known work. The small bar in the bad part of town, where the waitresses dressed too skimpy, but that the tips were better than anywhere else.

Pulling his black thigh length coat tighter around him, Allen made his way into the shady bar. And sure enough, Alma and Lenalee were huddled on the opposite side of the bar taking in hushed whispers that- even not in the rowdy bar house- he wouldn't be able to hear over the distance.

And it felt weird, to see Alma in that thick, black leather coat that could easily keep him warm in Siberia. The Musician had tested it- a lifetime ago. But even weirder that when the two shifted, Allen could see the embroidered silver stitching on the crest over the left side of his chest.

But snapping out of it quickly, Allen turned away from he two and ducked into the dimly-lit booth where The Fifth sat.

"He just got here," Wisely tells him, his eyes locked onto the tall, nearly empty glass in his hand. "Apparently, porky has done it again." And Allen had to sigh.

"He killed the host and took it then- I didn't feel anything." Wisely nods, his vibrant amber eyes flicking up to meet Allen's steel for only a second.

"What are we gonna do," he asks then, tone still sounding beyond simply conversational if overheard. But Allen didn't have a reply for that question just yet.

"I don't know, yet." Wisely was then eyeing him again.

"Worried," he asks, tone griming just barely. Allen only nodded.

"I promised him," was his reply, and Wisely nods as his eyes slide back to the glass- before lifting it and sipping the last drops of amber liquid.

He could drink a keg and nothing would happen. Noah can't get drunk- a fact that pissed Tyki off for months when he found out.

But this conversation was over. And being caught sitting here would only bring question to both of them that neither were ready to answer. So without saying anything else, Allen stood and quickly left.

O0O

That night, as he woke at a little after four- Allen growled as he worked into full alertness. Here meaning becoming fully aware of the wet in his boxers that was suddenly freezing on his skin. Throwing the covers back violently, He stands and makes his way to the overly-clean bathroom, located through the door on the left.

He needed another shower tonight.

He needed to find a way to sleep the whole night tomorrow.

And if he couldn't escape the nightmares- which he knew he couldn't- he'd have to find a way to work off the wet dreams. And from other times, he knew what that meant.

Because it wasn't over- he just couldn't let it be over.

Goddamn libido.

O0O

And Saturday, apparently had him climbing the stairs of the college library to the study area.

The shelves there turned in odd directions, making walkways and dividers. The books were thick on all of them, hiding the seated grouping of chairs, maybe a coffee table, or in a few even a small actual table, hidden inside. Stowing away in the back corner where he always chose to hide- a well-known hiding place for a reason- Allen slipped in head phones and made short work of losing himself in the melodies in his ears and his Physics assignment- then Algebra, and later Civics.

And for once, he lost track of time. His sleep-depraved mind finding a rhythm in systematic math and Physics and the logic of the Civics- all lulled together with the melodies pouring from his headphones. And he noticed nothing else. Not the students passing by who would sometimes throw him odd glances- because the skimpy Allen Walker was being quiet- nor the librarian who tried to get him to remove his feet from the table in front of him.

None of it.

But for whatever reason, he felt the need to look at his watch, just that one time. And his eyes were suddenly glued to the hands of the analogue doomsday device. And then a boot was connect with his, pulling his eyes from his watch and lifting them to take in his gorgeous 'doom'.

Kanda's hand motioned for Allen to take out the headphones, but instead he fished out the silver and black device and turned the volume down so he could hear the other man but that the music was still wafting in the background.

"Hi," he replied, to whatever Kanda had obviously said to earn him a kick in the boot.

"Hi," Kanda responded slowly after a moment, his eyes flicking nervously around the small seating area. There was a window halfway interrupted by a bookshelf to one side and only a small coffee table and two chairs with a stand attaching them.

And Allen… Didn't know what to say now.

He'd honestly planned on avoiding Kanda until the class they had together came around again- on Wednesday. But he'd forgotten that this place- where he was well-known for coming to- was also where Kanda hid on Saturday evenings, to do whatever homework he'd accrued during the week that hadn't been done in class or at lunch. Doing it at home wasn't an option for him, not with his three brothers who were in an out, and their foster father- Froi, the Exorcist General who had adopted Kanda when he was young- being his usual 'annoying self' as Kanda called it.

And so… they simply didn't move, neither really looking at the other, but nothing else happening. And Allen sighed, his steel eyes looking up to meet Kanda's now narrowed cobalt.

"Would you like me to leave," he grit out, his face slipping into a curt smile, that he hoped didn't display his unhappiness that openly.

He really did hate himself some times-

Kanda sighed, his eyes only giving away that he didn't exactly know what to say.

-Especially, like, now. When all he wanted was for the taller man to sit down next to him and for life to go on, like it had been until about two months ago.

He wished that Kanda wouldn't hate him- though Allen knew fully well that was his fault no matter what. He wished, more than that, that he could have proved the Earl wrong. When years ago he'd told Music that Exorcists and Noah would never be able to coexist. 'We're just too different,' he'd said. And Music had always hated those differences.

And so without waiting for an answer Allen, closed his book, notebook and shoves both back into his bag before throwing it over his shoulder and standing- blasting the music in his ears as he walked away, as if it would keep the startled look on his back from meaning so much.

O0O

Sunday, was spent glaring through the window in the kitchen as he wished for a reason to move. A reason that never came.

Until 1 AM, when Dreams was suddenly standing in the kitchen archway behind his chair, her reflection above his in the glass window. And once again- Allen was left hoping Dreams would have an answer- or at least a reason.

And maybe Dreams really could hear his frustration without him speaking, because without saying anything she had moved to him and wrapped her arms around his neck is a loose hug. His right hand moved before he could tell it otherwise and found a perch with his fingers wound around her forearm near his shoulder.

And they spent a few companionable moments as such without moving- both of their eyes drawn through the window in front of them. Looking into the outside- still seeing nothing.

"It's scary, isn't it?" He didn't have to ask what, Allen was sure he knew what she was talking about. He was sure she already knew his answer. "It hurts, doesn't it?"

"I grasp you have an idea of how much," he found himself muttering back. And Dreams hummed as she turned her head down and tucked her face against his neck.

"Yes," she answered after a moment. And they'd reached another short silence. But this one was covered with a thick need to ask questions he wasn't sure he was ready for the answers he knew Dreams would give him. She wouldn't proved the answers though, if he didn't ask. Theoretically, anyway. "Running away is much harder on the feet that standing up for a fight- at least, in the long run. Regret is a rocky road on a tender soul, Allen," and just like that she'd answered everything.

And as she smirked he knew she'd done it on purpose. Then with a quick press of her lips against his temple, Dreams stood and glancing once more at the window, turned and left the semi-lit kitchen disappearing into the darkened apartment, and he knew- up the stairs and into that door that should have led no where.

And Allen had to smiles a bit, as he inwardly agreed with Dreams' small, thorny-worded scolding. He couldn't run this time.

O0O

Well? (Smiles)
-Aseru