Chapter 4

Of Tears and Sad Smiles

"Mama's d-dead because of…" I feel my hand cup my mouth closed so I don't accidently throw up. Mama… no that can't be possible, this has to be another lie, but the pain and turmoil in Hotaka's eyes tell me that this information is very real. I feel a tearing in my gut, almost as if the acid that my innards hold has burned a whole in the center. "Everyone said that she died from heart failure…"

"That was a lie. The fact is that the reason Ai is dead, is because of the very person behind you. No one could tell you because he was kept a secret for your whole life, and even if we did tell you it would have been spitting in the face of your mother's wishes. So everyone lied."

"Lied…" I mimic the word, fresh and foul-tasting on my tongue. What does it mean to be lied to? They say all the time, 'don't lie', 'if you lie then you are committing a sin', and yet the people who we hold closest to us are obligated to do so. Why? A white lie now seems like a misguided conception and even a fairy tale told to small children sounds wrong. Once things are brought into perspective, or perhaps it's fallen out of past perspective, you no longer can quite understand the twisted minds of those around you. To lie about the death of a child's mother, right to their face, for so long… how can anyone justify that? "Tell me specifically how she died." I demand, menace in my voice and hatred starting to blossom in my soul.

Hotaka only meets my eyes for a second before looking beyond me at Gaara, "She died because he killed her." My heart stops in my chest. Gaara? Killed my mother? No, I don't believe it. Yet, why can't I? It's not like I have known him long, or even feel any attachment to him, there is something boiling in the back of my gut that is just saying it doesn't sound right.

"I don't believe you." I mumble under my breath, it's true that Hotaka is basically my second father and I love and respect him but on this I just don't believe his words. I can't even explain why though. Just that it doesn't sit right.

Hotaka snaps and struggles in the sand that binds him to his knees, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME? YOU THINK I WOULD LIE ABOUT HOW AI DIED?" This I just can not accept, I raise my hand and slap Hotaka across the face. Purple starts to sprout immediately around the red hand print, and though it was out of anger, I do not regret my action.

"You did lie. For a while year while I roamed this scum-filled world with a caravan that got mugged on a daily basis. Each and every letter, when you brought her up, when you recalled a memory, you called that lie back into my sadness. When I was scarred by a man who wanted what little money we carried with us, you sat at home with this lie you had shook in our faces. Each and every night, I dreamed of her face and enjoyed her loving memory while you defiled it. Shouta still cries, you know. He still cries in the darkness. He loved her and you slandered her with lies. You are not fit enough to speak her name." I want to slap him again when I finish saying this; the sad fact is that even if Hotaka is like a father to me, the raw feeling in my heart is a disappointed sadness. And this sadness has clung to the last resort of anger to hide behind.

"I am unfit to say it. I should have told you the truth a year ago, but I didn't want to believe it, myself. But she died of suffocation; he strangled her with the very sand he sliced you with." I squeeze the gash that has started to clot. It seems all the rage has started to numb the pain. I close my eyes and try to breathe; I don't know what to believe anymore. Yet… there is a way to figure it out.

Slowly, I turn towards Gaara, he watches us expressionless from the shadows. "Did you do what he says Gaara? Did you kill my mother?"

XxxXxxX

-AI POV/ a year ago-

I stare out at the landscape as they frolic freely, a few feet from me, Ryo and Chihiro squabble as he kicks the ball further than he had intended. While Ryo rushes after it, Chihiro picks up a desert flower and hands it to Shouta who had been quietly watching them play. I sigh lightly; it would be nice if Kuro was here to see them. Likely, he would jump in and play with them; he'd give pointers to Chihiro and tease Ryo to make her laugh. He'd tousle Ryo's hair lovingly while they talked strategies about his latest mission. Kuro would be especially gentle with Shouta, letting him ride on his shoulders as we all headed for ice cream. I blink as a sting under my corneas pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Ai, you can't keep doing that to yourself." I jump as Hotaka's voice reaches out from behind me. I compose myself and smile silently, he quietly joins me on the bench those unreadable eyes of his on Ryo, Chihiro, and Shouta. I turn towards them and see Chihiro and Ryo sitting next to Shouta, both talking to him with smiles lighting up their faces. I chuckle to myself, my siblings and I could never stay in the same area as each other as well as all of them did. Seeing the joy warms the coldness of my heart. "It's getting dark; we should start to head back."

I turn my head towards him, "Why? No need to spoil their fun, is there?"

Hotaka lets his disapproval show hard in his features, "You know full well the danger of the dark, Ai." I scoff. What utter nonsense. "Ai, we made a deal. I promised not to tell Shouta or Chihiro as long as they never encounter him. If we stay out here, we will surely run into him. You remember that last time Chihiro saw him? You're lucky he didn't kill her THEN." I roll my eyes, yet it is true. It was so long ago that I can barely remember it.

XxX

-Ai's flashback-

Six years ago, it had been then that the beast that the Kazekage had jammed into his son's body ripped loose and wreaked havoc. I remember being with Ryo and Chihiro outside then, the rumors about Gaara were not as wild as they are now so it wasn't uncommon to be out at eight. We were roaming the streets, heading home, when the foul monster's gigantic body rose from the earth and suddenly blocked out the light of the moon. I had scooped them up and ran, each step took out a building and unfortunate souls were crushed at impact. Loud booms shook the air, as the monster screeched into the sky. I felt my ears pop and my vision weaken as the thunderous noise shook my brain, but I didn't stop running. I spotted an abandoned building and I raced inside, we curled into the corner as I shielded them both with my body.

It felt like hours before the destructive booms stopped, Ryo was petrified but even though he did not cry, his fear was plain as day on his face. Chihiro was a quite different story; she was smiling the whole time, muttering words of reassurance to us cautiously. When the earths quaking had subsided she bolted out from under me, she was out the door before i could even think to react. With those legs of hers going a mile a second, I nearly lost her a few times as she sprinted around corners and dodged all the people that tried to pull her away from the direction she was anxiously heading for. Each time she turned she would call out to Ryo and me, telling us to hurry up. She said that he needed us. I was confused and frustrated, but most of all, I was scared, I didn't know what she was doing or why she was running so franticly. Then she stopped abruptly, her small body stilled like a statue. I was about to grab her hand and drag her back home when Ryo took hold of my elbow and stopped me. His eyes were fixated beyond his little sister and this confused me slightly, so I turned and nearly vomited in distress.

Chihiros face is tilted up as she scans the huge mound of sand and catches sight of Gaara, his eyes are fluttering open but his body if half buried in the sand. Before I can even command my mind to function she starts to climb up the mound, she nearly slips off twice and I scream in response, "CHIHIRO, GET AWAY FROM THERE!" My legs start to listen to me but before I can make a run for it, two ninja who were guarding the crowd take hold of me. "NO! THAT'S MY DAUGHTER! YOU MUST HELP HER!" They shake their head as she continues to climb higher and higher. I didn't know what to do, being pinned back and not aloud to save my own daughter was almost as maddening as having to watch it.

Chihiro makes it to the boy and bends down to his level, a smile on her face, "Hi, I heard that bully picking on you so I thought that I'd help you out. Is that ok?" Gaara seems stunned, his eyes wide and almost completely stunned. There is silence in the crowd as they watch Gaara nod his head and she begins to dig him out. I feel myself go numb as I watch, she has always had Kuro's courage but this… this was almost over the moon. What could she possibly mean, 'heard that bully pick on him'? How did she even find Gaara in the first place? I thought that she was looking for Kuro but apparently she was actually searching for Gaara in particular. Chihiro holds out her hand and Gaara cautiously takes it, and I watched amazed as she pulls him from the hole he was buried in. There is not even a drop of fear in her eyes as she smiles at him.

"Why?" Gaara asks with amazement in his tone. It was the same question that I kept asking over and over.

"I know that you're different. It's hard being different. That bully picks on you a lot, huh? Is that why you can't go to sleep?" I am utterly stunned, this bully she keeps talking about… it's Shukaku? That's impossible though, Chihiro isn't supposed to know anything about this boy or Shukaku. She is talking as if Gaara and Shukaku are two completely different people too, why?

"I never sleep." Gaara replies quietly and she gives him a sympathetic gaze then smiles happily.

"Don't worry, sleep isn't all that great. Come on, we should get down from here." Chihiro offers him her hand again but this time before Gaara can take hold of it the Kazekage's sand enfolds around her and safely transports her back to my arms. She kicks violently but I hold on tight, even if I get bruises, I will never let her go again. "No, Mama! He needs us!"

"Hush, Chihiro! Don't ever run off like that again!" She frowns with sadness etched into her expression. The Kazekage, Yondaime, walks towards us and the ninja that were holding me back, release their grip and fade into the crowd. He stands in front of us, tall and mighty and I can't help but cower in amazement.

"Little girl, I am interested in what you just did. Do you even know who you were talking to?" Chihiro glares at him but I repeat the question causing her to answer in a snap.

"I don't know his name, but I know he is always at odds with that bully. Why don't you do something about it? You are the Kazekage after all." I feel my eyes widen a bit, scratching the disrespectfulness in her tone, I caught just what I needed to hear. She didn't know it was Gaara that she was talking about. All she knows is that he has a bully, Shukaku, but that leaves only more questions then answers.

"If you know nothing about him, then why are you so interested in his well being?" The Kazekage asks, his eyes enormously curious.

"Everyone deserves a hug now and then." Chihiro says simply. I am in shock. The logic of a child, seems to be contradicting the years of fear I have felt for that little boy over there.

"What if he hurt you, would you still believe this?" Kazekage-sama inquires.

"Everyone gets hurt, that's how life works. No one can avoid pain, it's an impossible goal." Kazekage-sama gives her an impressed gaze, in truth I never really took into account how well aware Chihiro was about life. She is even more so in depth then I am. She has Kuro's blunt logic. With a flick of her wrist Chihiro dismisses the Kazekage and then returns her eyes to Gaaras. "Don't worry about that bully! Sometimes, all it takes is time until we learn how to deal with them!"

XxX

I remember taking Chihiro home after that, I questioned her for days on end about the events she had set in motion. I asked her how she knew where the boy was and she stated very simply that she "just knew". I even pried on how in god's name she new that he had a "bully" even though she didn't even have the common knowledge of his name. She had looked more thoughtful for this one, in response to my question she had said "I saw the sadness in his eyes, Mama, the only type of sadness people get when a separate person causes them pain." It was a little more helpful then the "just knew" answer but it still didn't explain anything.

"Ai?"

"Hn? Oh, it's you, Hotaka, forgot you were here." In fact I forgot everything for about a minute. I add this silently in my mind because if I said it out loud, I'm sure Hotaka would think I'm off my rocker. "Remember, Hotaka, when we were kids?" A blush creeps on his cheeks and he doesn't respond. To anyone else this would be an unfamiliar action for Hotaka, in many ways he was like Kuro, never shy and very spontaneous. Yet, unlike Kuro, Hotaka has a very romantic side in him. For most of his life, he had very real feelings for me. I loved him as a brother though, I guess you could have called me cruel and selfish. So, in my eyes, this was merely an action that I have witnessed too many times to count.

"All five of us used to be outside everyday, training as ninja." I smile at the memories. I remember how Kuro, Hotaka, Yondaime, Sadao-sensei and I used to be outside doing missions every single day. We were never just about, it was impossible to do so. Kuro and Hotaka were always motivated and Yondaime was always talented enough to successfully push our team through the mission. We had survived eight B ranks, nineteen C ranks and four A ranks. Sadao-sensei always used to say we were the most promising of our generation. He was right too, Yondaime had become Kazekage not too long afterward.

"Do you still talk to him?" I ask a pinch of sadness in my heart. I haven't talked to Yondaime since he apologized for Kuros death. He had remembered how good of friends we were as kids and offered to build a monument to him in the cemetery but I denied such a request. Kuro would have thought that unfair to the other people who had died under the Kazekages rule. I simply asked that he have an engraving in his stone marker, I wanted it to say 'A heroic Shinobi, a beloved friend, and an adored husband and father'. Yondaime honored my request and I thanked him again and again but that does not make up for cutting him off.

"I do whenever I am assigned to a mission. Sometimes I try and invite him out for a bite to eat but he is so busy lately. I sometimes miss those times." Hotaka mumbles and I admit under my breath that I do to. When I had become a Jounin, I married Kuro and became a mother, Ryo made me see that I didn't want to risk him growing up without a mother. So I abandoned my career as a ninja. Sometimes I miss going on missions, the thrill of gathering information and fighting for your village, but I will never regret my choice. My family is more important than my life.

Hotaka and I gather up Shouta, Ryo and Chihiro and escort them home together. Once they were asleep and Hotaka had fallen into what looked like a comatose on the couch, I slipped out the door and walked the streets of Suna, like I used to. It was so long ago, I had nearly forgotten that I had a life before the one I have now. In truth, that old life had made me happy, but it never compared to the one I have with my family now. I miss Kuro and I wish I could have convinced him to give up being a ninja, but that would have been selfish. He was happy with how he was living and if I had asked him to stop, there is no doubt he would have quit in a heartbeat, but he wouldn't be as satisfied with life as he had been. Still, I wouldn't give up the life I have now. While being a ninja always gave you an adrenalin rush, being a mother will always keep you guessing.

I think back to Chihiro and how she had run to Gaara like they were old friends. It still amazes me, she doesn't even seem to remember it very well. In truth, it was Chihiro who had made me think that maybe Gaara wasn't the monster everyone made him out to be. With her no-nonsense logic, I started to lean towards her argument more then the villagers'. I used to fear him as much as any other, when Chihiro ran to him, I nearly died of a heart attack. Then those things she said, about Shukaku being a "bully" how they were really two separate beings, Gaara and Shukaku. It always makes you wonder how much else you overlooked, especially when it is just a child correcting you.

"AI!" I twirl around to see a man with brown hair and dark blue eyes rushing towards me. I smile lightly, I didn't expect to see Eiji out so late at night. Though we weren't as close knit like Hotaka, Yondaime, and Kuro were, we were good friends. After I abandoned my ninja status, we kept in touch, especially since his team didn't get to go out on many missions.

"Hi, Eiji, why are you out so late at night?" He grabs my arm and bolts to where had just came from. "Eiji, what the hell are you doing?"

"There isn't time to explain, Yumiko is picking a fight with Gaara!" I feel my mind stop, Yumiko? That she-devil is trying to start a fight with someone who could easily kill her? She is as foolish as she was when we were children. Yumiko was trying to join the Anbu when I had quit and she was very good, but she was reckless and hotheaded. Even if she had only her bare hands to fight with she would fight until she was either knocked unconscious or too injured to move. Kuro was like Yumiko but he wasn't as stupid as her. In fact, she and I were great friends until she said she had a thing for him. I nearly knocked her block off.

We get to the scene just in time, Gaara stands ever so casually in the shadows with his arms crossed firmly on his chest. Yumiko stands on the opposite end, her silky ash-blonde hair shining in the moonlight. I don't hesitate and throw myself between them, my arms up protectively and facing towards Yumiko. "What do you think your doing, Yumiko?"

"Well, if it isn't Baby Mama. Move out of the way. This is between him... and me." Yumiko glares and I am tempted to let Gaara beat some manners into her.

"You're an idiot if you think you can win against Gaara. You overestimate yourself." I state angrily. She reaches into the pouch sewn onto her tight black capris, I remember ones like those, they were recommended because of how easily it is to move in them and also the comfortable touch they had was perfect on long missions. Her fingers wrap around something then yanks it out, she had slipped her fingers into her bladed claw, and it glistens just in front of her face.

"I am doing this because it was assigned to me. I have no expectation of winning but the Kazekage personally asked me to assassinate the demon that has polluted Suna for far to long. So I will attempt it for the sake of our village." Oh, Yondaime what have you gone and done? I shake my head silently, disappointed in Yondaimes rash actions. I lean down and slide open a hidden compartment in my sandal, pulling out my personal blade. The blade itself is ebony with silver wordings etched into the side, 'Those who fight for a purpose will die for a purpose'. It's a long and thin blade which is curved slightly, the hilt is silver with the cycle of the moon on it and at the bottom has a miniature sickle attached to it, so if I attack either way it will ultimately cause damage. It has been mine ever since I was a little girl, I haven't used it in years. I even need to struggle to remember the name that my ancestors had given it.

"Getsurei, so you still have that menacing little toy." Yumiko chides and I glare at her. Getsurei, Age of the Moon, the perfect name for a beautiful blade.

"If you even take a step towards Gaara, I will kill you." I seethe. Though I am not entirely sure where these words came from I knew that they were true. Even if, inside, I didn't really want to fight Yumiko, I would do it. I would do it for Chihiro, I would live by her views.

"Why? You hate him as much as I do!" Yumiko shouts, her annoyance clearly starting to rise.

"I used to, but then my daughter taught me something that everyone else is too blind to see."

"Oh, and what's that?"

"That Gaara is a child! And a child should have been treated better than people in Suna, including me, have treated him." There is a blanketing silence. I guess it was the silence of finally understanding, understanding something I hadn't seen for twelve long years.

"A child? Are you stupid? He's a monster! He's killed people!" Yumiko points to him and I could almost hear the menace in his presence increase.

"And your blades has never met the throat of an innocent person, Yumiko? Suna kills those who threaten us! We kill to keep our power and to keep our people safe! What about the Chuunin exams? Have you forgotten them? I recall you slicing a pretty little boy's face into ribbons with those flashy claw blades. Oh, what village was he from? Konoha, maybe?" Yumiko scoffs and rolls her eyes.

"You don't seem to understand, I don't care what I have done. I care for only what I have to do. My assignment is to kill him and I will do just that."

"Over my dead body." I remark, bending my legs slightly ready to attack.

"As you wish." She slingshots forward, her right hand slices the air near my face but I fall to the earth quickly and thrust my foot out making her stumble backwards. Yumiko bounds into the air and then falls with impact, her blades making contact with the sand as it explodes. I dodged it just in time but I am still shaken by the brute strength.

"Fascinating that you have the mental capability to master such an advance chakra control." That means that I can't let her get even one hit in or I could be severely injured. I need to finish this quickly.

"You obviously are the one lacking brain cells for picking a fight with me!" She rushes forward and I backflip three times to avoid the explosion of her fist. Its true, I haven't been in a fight for eighteen years it'll take more on my part to even begin to fight like I used to. Even the clothes I am wearing aren't acceptable in this situation. A lose scarf and long tan robe aren't meant for battle. It limits movements. I quickly take my blade and slice off enough for the robe to pass as a shirt then I slice off the long sleeves and tie my hair back with the scarf. It was a good thing I wore sliding shorts today.

"Now the fight gets serious." I say and slingshot forward, ready for anything.

XxxXxxX

-Chihiro POV-

"Of course he did! Eiji told me, he saw everything. Yumiko and your mother were fighting against him and he slaughtered them both. He suffocated your mother and broke every bone in Yumikos body. That's the sort of monster—"

"You're wrong." Hotaka and I gasp as Gaara interrupts his accusations. He walks forward and stares into my eyes, the light of those blue blue irises nearly illuminate the desert itself. "I remember your mother. She was as interesting as you. She appeared out of no where with that man, Eiji, and jumped between Yumiko and I. She had said some odd things, that she learned things from her daughter and that she would never allow Yumiko to attack."

I listen to this and I suddenly feel a calm feeling inside, this is something I believe. If my mother believed that Gaara was good, she would have never jumped into a fight with him 'just because'. It makes more sense that she protected him rather than fought him. "But then… what happened to Mama? Did Yumiko kill her or did she kill Yumiko?"

Gaara doesn't waver one bit, "Your mother died by Yumiko's hand and I, in turn, destroyed Yumiko."

XxxXxxX

-Back to AI's POV/A year ago-

"Now the fight gets serious." I slingshot forward, ready for anything. We go back and forth, our blades collide and we dodge each others blows. I preformed Shadow Clone jutsu a few times but Yumiko seemed to be utterly immune to the numbers, unlike me, Yumiko hates to use ninjutsu she rather use Tijutsu and is much better at it then I am. Her blade finally catches my arm and slices it open, making me stumble backwards. I scoff but internally cringe at the pain. Working quickly, I place my hand over the wound and begin to heal it, though I wasn't really a medical ninja, I had plenty of friends who were and taught me this valuable technique, should I ever need it. This pisses Yumiko off and she runs at me, I am able to dodge her, barely. I'm getting slower. Its been so long. I don't have the endurance I used to. Finishing the wound, I perform Shadow Clone once more and attack her from the side while three attack from the front. With the perfect timing I slice open the whole right side of her abdomen, she shrieks in pain.

"Will you stop this nonsense, already?" I ask but she laughs at it instead. She digs her hand into the open wound and draws it back out, blood coating her fingers. If I wasn't so used to how Yumiko fights, I might have thrown up. In all truth, if Yumiko plans on killing a person the main reason is because they have injured her. In response she will take her own blood and smear it over the corpses face when she's done slaughtering them. Every Suna Shinobi knows how crazed Yumiko is when it comes to being hurt and they do their best to avoid that sort of confrontation with her.

"Oh, the fun is just starting, why put a halt on a moving train?" Her movements become almost untraceable to the human eye, as she attacks from the left, then from the right and then from behind. I dodge all the attempts until she catches my at the right again, her fist connects with my ribs and my body goes flying in the air. I feel the bones crack as my body slams against a building behind me. Falling into the sand dulled the impact but I still cough out blood from my broken ribs. I move my hand over the ribcage and start healing but my vision starts to blur and I can barely breath. Yumiko stands over me, a twisted smile on her face. "Poor baby, I'll put you out of your misery." She snaps my neck and I am left staring to the right, Gaaras eyes are wide. It happened so fast. My head is spinning, I can't breath. "Ha! That's what you get. You little b—" Sand rips through the air and throws Yumiko off of me, her body is engulfed in sand and blood sprays everywhere. Gaara approaches quickly, though his arms are still crossed, I can tell by the look in his eyes that he has no intention of killing me. Chihiro was right about you after all.

"I remember you. You're that women whose child came for me after I released Shukaku." It takes everything in me to smile but I can't nod, I'll be dead in a moment and I know this well. "Why would you attempt to protect me?" I feel a tear roll out of my eyes and hit the sand, but the smile is still so real on my face.

"Live—for…my daughter's…sake." Is all I can muster up and then my eyes slowly close, the look of sympathy on Gaaras face as I slowly die. I am glad that I died with the purpose of protecting you.

XxxXxxX

-Back to Chihiros POV-

I feel a cold yet warm feeling in the depths of my soul, Mama fought to protect him and though she died, she died happy. I feel a smile on my face, the first real one in so very long. "Mama was always heroic. Thank you for avenging her." I move towards him and fold my arms around his torso, he smells like sand and blood but right now it's the only smell I want to breathe. "I've decided," I mumble into his chest, "I'll fight to protect you. Just like Mama did."

A/N:

AWWWWWW! Lol sorry I put A LOT of fluff in this chapter, I thought that this story was in need of some Romance, Badly. I loved writing this chapter mainly because of how sweet it seems and also that you get to know about Chihiros Mama. You know just getting a look into the kind of person she was. She was kind of like Chihiro but much less, how do I put this…not as rough around the edges. You can tell, or should be able to tell, that she genuinely loved Chihiro, Ryo, and Shouta. Even though she made some bad decisions she did it for them. And how bout that whole scene when they were only 6, kind of cute right? Haha sorry I just loved writing this chapter for you guys and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it too. If you're like me you must be happy that there is FINALLY some romance stirring X)

For the Readers:

Hello there! Lol I am pleased to know you made it this far! I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and if not please comment about how I could make it better in the future. Readers are always welcome to share their honest opinions. If you liked it then I'm very glad! Tell me so and I'll keep the drive to advance further in this story!

I sincerely hope to see you next chapter:

"Of Nights all Alone and Days Together"

Thanks so much for reading!

Shiori Mio

A question and an Answer:

Q. Is the Fourth Kazekages real name Yondaime? (How I refer to Gaaras father through out the chapter)

A. Actually Yondaime means "The Fourth" in Japanese, it's not a name. The Fourth Kazekage (AKA Gaaras father) doesn't actually have a first name. Or more specifically, it's never mentioned in the Anime or Manga. I googled it and checked five different websites but couldn't find anything remotely close to a name anywhere. I know that the Fourth Hokage (AKA Narutos father) was referred as Yondaime sometime in the series, I don't think it was actually his name but just calling him "The Fourth". Anyway to clarify, No Yondaime is not the Fourth Kazekages name but I will be using it as his name through out all the Chapters.

A word of thanks to my Beta Elijah Blackwood!

Thank you very much for taking the time to better this chapter!

SHOW ELIJAH SOME LOVE! :)