A/N: THANK YOU ALL MY FOLLOWERS AND MISSLINI for my very first review. I hope I can keep you all interested. I will do my best. From the next chapter on we will see a lot more Daryl/Jarah interaction, I promise. This chapter explains some of Jarah's issues. I thought it was important to know for readers what she went through and how she ticks, because it will explain her behaviour in various situations during the course of the story. Very emotional chapter for me personally, going back to memories I avoided for quite some time. Please don't hesitate to review, it really makes an author write faster.

Chapter 4

After taking care of Daryl's wound Jarah left the room to give the men some space. Rick had pulled out a map and wanted to go over Daryl's findings. Apparently they were looking for someone. Before she left the room Rick had told her that they were all having dinner together later and asked her to join, which left Jarah feeling uneasy. It would mean she would have to face the group all by herself without being able to hide behind her son. The thought made her stomach clench so hard, that she got dizzy.

It might seem pathetic to others but her son was her security blanket, her safety shield. He immediately got all the attention from everybody they met and that was fine by Jarah. She was happy and comfortable with it. Being married and having a child had given her more confidence and she was doing much better than during her childhood and teenage years, but the fact was, that she had been suffering from social phobia and an anxiety disorder all her life. It developed very early in her childhood. Her parents weren't nice people. They let her know she wasn't wanted and if they thought that Jarah had done something wrong (by their standards), they would give her the silent treatment for no less than 6 to 8 weeks. During those weeks she wasn't allowed to leave her room except for kindergarten, later school, and trips to the bathroom. Her father would even remove anything electronic from her room so she wouldn't be able to watch TV or even listen to music. That left Jarah alone with her own thoughts for a great deal of her young life and it was then, when a thought started deeply ingraining itself into her head: "My own parents don't like me, so how could anybody else in this world ever like me?" It became her motto.

Her family called her shy, but she wasn't shy. She was scared of people. Scared of being judged and humiliated, but at the same time she was scared of being ignored. When she entered her teenage years and puberty hit, she turned from a scared little girl to a scared animal and scared animals lashed out. She got into fights, finally having a way to blow off steam and to let out all that rage that had built inside of her over the years. She started skipping school, her grades went downhill, but her teachers knew that she wasn't a "bad girl" and wanted to help her so they arranged for her to study with two students she shared some of her classes with. That was one of the best things to ever happen to her. Up to this day she doesn't know how, but those two boys gained her trust, they made her laugh and as it turned out they shared the same taste in music and movies. Talking to them was easy and soon she started to spend all her time with them. Her grades improved, her mood improved, hell everything improved, until graduation happened and their ways had to part. She had lost both of her only friends on the same day to different colleges far away and it didn't take long for Jarah's phobia and anxiety to rear up again. This time she didn't get into fights anymore though, she had no more fight left.

Her parents asked her to move out soon after. Jarah started working as an office worker for a local recycling company to support herself. Her boss bullied her, inadvertently making her social phobia even worse, but she had to stay strong, because no one else was hiring.

She lasted 4 years, before she broke down at age 22, having to check into a rehab facility, because she wasn't able to leave her apartment anymore, hell she couldn't even bring herself to answer the phone anymore, the sound of it ringing was already enough to cause severe anxiety attacks. The people around her had finally managed to break her.

It took 8 weeks of rehab, but she managed to gain enough strength back to take her life back into her own hands. She met her best friend Liz in group therapy and they would remain inseparable until the day a drunk driver took Liz away from her six years later. After rehab Jarah started working as a nurse in elderly care. Even though for the most part it was hard and backbreaking work, she enjoyed it a lot because she was able to connect to the elderly people living in the facility, especially if they felt abandoned by their families and the old people loved her and appreciated her. She gained some sense of self-worth.

She also met her husband at work. Jackson was the doctor on call when one of her residents took a bad fall. He was very attractive, very rock'n'roll for a doctor and he was a cheeky bastard. He flirted unabashedly with her and was very persistent. Usually Jarah would have run for the hills, but something about him struck her as sincere. She gave dating him a try and she soon found herself opening up to him and trusting him. He got her, he understood her condition. Ever since rehab she was doing really well, but there would still be bad days here and there, on which she had a hard time going out and facing the world. He had her back though and with his help she found herself getting stronger and more confident. She wasn't scared anymore, she wasn't even overly shy, but she still had a little trouble getting things going when meeting new people.

Once she got to know them better and started trusting, she had no trouble being open with them. She didn't even have much trouble sharing the dark parts of her life. It was just that very first hurdle of facing new people that she had the biggest problem with and ever since she divorced Jackson, her support system in getting over that first hurdle was gone and she had to face it on her own. For whatever reason facing a group of women had always been harder on her than facing a group of men, and right now, that kitchen that she was about to enter was full of women.

Jarah took a deep breath and willed her hands to stop shaking as she nervously stepped into the kitchen. She was met with a warm smile from Carol that made her relax a little.

"Hey Jarah... your son is sleeping like a rock. He didn't even stir when we carried his bed out of the guestroom."

Jarah smiled slightly. "Yeah, he is a really good sleeper. Guess he won't wake up til late tomorrow morning. The painkillers tend to make him sleep like 14 hours."

"Looks like. How is Daryl doing?" Carol asked, peeling another potato.

"Good, I guess... he is talking to Rick about what he found and where. You guys are looking for someone?"

Carol's expression turned somber and tears glistened in her eyes.

"My daughter Sophia... we were surprised by a herd up on the highway. She thought it was safe to come out again, but it wasn't. She got chased into the woods by walkers. Rick ran after them. He had her, he sent her running back to the highway while he stalled the walkers, but she never made it back."

Jarah's heart went out to the woman. "Dear God Carol, I am so sorry, I can't even imagine..."

Lori smiled and rubbed Carol's back.

"We are close though, Daryl found her doll. We are going to find her."

"I am sure you will. If I can help with anything..." Jarah offered.

Carol smiled and pushed some potatoes her way.

"You can help me with these. Did Rick ask you to eat with us?"

"Yes he did, thank you. Means a lot." Jarah helped Carol peel the remaining potatoes before sneaking into Beth's room to check on her sleeping son.

An hour later dinner was served. Everyone was in good spirits and of course, curious about Jarah. Dale was the first to fire off his questions.

"So Jarah, where are you from?"

"Atlanta."

"Were you in the city when it all happened?"

Jarah nodded. "Yes, saw it on the news. A co-worker called, telling me to go to one of the safe shelters, but somehow I knew I really shouldn't. My gut told me to leave the city. I packed all our stuff, as much as the car could fit and then I hightailed it out of there. Only a couple hours later the bombs fell. We've been on the road ever since."

"How were you able to keep the two of you safe?"

"I am a very careful person. Organized,... and I have some skills. Took some martial arts classes during my teenage years. Helped me out a couple of times."

"And all that with a baby. A cute little boy by the way."

"Thanks, my pride and joy."

Carl smiled. "How old are you? You look too young to have a baby!"

"Wow thank you, but I am plenty old enough. I am 30,... almost 31."

"Woah, you're OLD!" Carl exclaimed, causing Lori to shoot him a stern look and the rest of the table to laugh out loud.

Rick tried to smooth out his son's outburst. "Well I guess we are all surprised. You look very young. Not that 30 isn't young, but you look younger."

"I know, I get that a lot. It's okay", Jarah laughed.

Upstairs Daryl heard the laughter. He hated not being able to sit at the table with the rest of them. Especially tonight. He was sure Jarah was with them and that everybody was asking her stuff. That would have been the perfect opportunity for him to just sit back, listen and learn more about her. If he wasn't hurting and still bleeding from his side so much, he would drag his ass down there and enjoy every fucking minute he could spend sitting at the same table with her. Listening to her talk. Maybe if he asked for more painkillers? But how suspicious would that be? Usually he did everything to avoid these people and today he would beg for meds so he could have dinner with them? They'd all know that something was up right away. Especially Dale. The old man was too observant for his own good. Frustrated Daryl closed his eyes and hoped to be able to move around again the next day. Even though he wanted to keep his cool, he is helpless against the craving of being near Jarah. He wanted to get to know her and this time he wouldn't waste his chance.