It felt nice to be dressed up. Such a pleasant change from the drudgery of the same uniform every day. I slipped in simple sapphire stud earrings to go with my stiff blue silk dress. It was navy blue and knee length, and my first time wearing it. I always packed nice clothes to bring to Hogwarts with me, but most years I had to take everything back unworn. There just weren't that many dress-up occasions. I fussed with my hair until it was pulled back out of my face, and put on only light makeup. Lavender would have told me it looked perfect. Pretty without trying too hard like an ugly girl. She could be a little mean sometimes, but she cracked me up. Now, which shoes to wear? Practical flats or cute wedges with a heel? I had to tiptoe across the castle without getting caught, so flats seemed more practical, but the heels were SO cute, and Dean was so tall, they would give me an edge. Lavender would have said heels, but I was leaning towards the flats. Hmmm...dilemma.

"Oh my gosh, you look so pretty," Fay said emerging from the bathroom, her hair still wet from the shower.

"Thanks! All those practices are whipping me into shape," I said giving a last twirl in the mirror, having settled on the flats. I really didn't want to get caught. I already had a detention to serve with Rosier.

"Oh man, now I feel like I'll look totally lame," Fay said indicating her admittedly not so stunning outfit of jeans and a plain black shapeless jumper.

"Well, your jeans look nice," I said. They looked new anyway. "You can borrow something of mine if you want."

"I'd never fit into your clothes," Fay said sadly. She was a little shorter and stouter than me, but not by much and she was super fit. I just had to find something to flatter a Beater's strong arms.

"Nonsense, let's see," I pulled out a silky black blouse with the most adorable bohemian sleeves. "How about this I bet it'd look great on you."

"I don't know, I don't usually wear stuff like that."

"Come on, at least try it on!" I said forcefully. I could tell she really wanted to, she just needed to be convinced.

"You don't have to wear that if you don't want to," a rather snitty annoying know-it-all's voice piped up.

Of course she believed I was some kind of evil diva trying to convert the masses to my evil superficial ways of wearing something nice to a party. "Whatever Hermione, no one asked you." I pushed the blouse into Fay's arms.

"Not everyone wants to be a girly girl," she added. Boy she was in a mood. You would think fighting on the same side of a war would have tempered the tension between us, but it really didn't. She still treated me like some sort of airhead bimbo and I antagonized the annoying snob right back. Oh no, Fay looked hurt. Shows how much you know Hermione! Maybe Fay wanted to look feminine tonight, and now you've gone and declared that she needn't bother.

"Just try it on," I encouraged Fay who smiled before finally ducking into the bathroom.

"You shouldn't boss her around," Hermione said, apparently she just couldn't drop it.

"I'm not bossing her around. We're friends in case you hadn't noticed," I defended myself.

"Whatever," she huffed before turning back to her wardrobe, presumably to get dressed for the party. She pulled out a pretty looking white shirt. Despite all her advice, she was dressing nice. What a hypocrite.

"You look great!" I declared as Fay emerged, a little timidly. She really did look super pretty, the blouse fit her perfectly and set off her bright clear blue eyes and auburn hair. I walked towards her and handed her a tube of lipstick. "For the final touch," I told her. Much to my surprise Fay put it on without any protests while Hermione stomped out without saying anything. The tension in the room left with her.

"So you excited about hanging out with Dean?" Fay asked me as she finished brushing out her hair.

"Yes," I smiled. Fay and I had been gossiping about the Dean situation for days. "Do you think he'll think I look nice? Do you think he'll dance with me?"

"Of course he will! He's already asked you to Hogsmeade on Sunday!" she encouraged me.

"I know, but we're not really together as a couple. I mean he didn't say 'do you want to be my girlfriend?' He said, 'So, Hogsmeade next weekend. You're going right? That'll be fun. We should go together.' That's so...vague. Maybe he just wants my help picking out new clothes. Or wants my advice on a new broom. Maybe he doesn't really want to date at all."

"Don't be ridiculous. It'll be fine. He is totally into you. Everyone can tell. Shall we?" she asked opening the door.

We walked down the stairs to join the gathered Gryffindors. Dean looked at me and smiled super big. "You look so pretty," he whispered before grasping my hand and guiding us towards the door where Seamus was releasing people two at a time with instructions on how to sneak into the Defender's Den. He was holding my hand! So sweet, I guess he really did like me. His hand was so warm and firm. I felt so safe somehow. I beamed at Fay who was being sent out into the dark hallway with our teammate Creepy McLaggen. She smiled back at me and rolled her eyes. He always said the grossest things about girls and wanting to be with girls and how they all wanted to be with him. At least he'd never turned his creepifying attentions to any of the girls on the team.

"All right Dean, see you there," Seamus said before ducking out himself, leaving us as the last ones in the now exceptionally quiet Common Room. I could hear my dress shift against my skin as I turned towards him. I looked into his warm eyes. He wasn't smiling but was staring at me thoughtfully.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"We have to wait a minute before we can go," Dean said nervously.

"Yeah, I know," I smiled. He was so cute when he was nervous. I let the silence drag on for a few moments, just enjoying the warmth and strength of his hand holding mine.

"Oh hell, I'm just going to go for it," he said before leaning towards me and kissing my lips, gently. My eyes closed on their own and my heart raced. It was unexpected but oh so perfect. He pulled back after a few seconds leaving me a little breathless. "Was that okay?"

I chuckled, "Better than okay, I think." I ducked quickly through the door as my words registered and he quickly came out after me.

"So, it's okay I did that?" Dean double-checked.

I put my finger across my lips to shush him and smiled cheekily. Dean and my first kiss had been so sweet. I was lost in a dream world. Why did it feel so good to be with someone?

We made our way towards the party, his hand never releasing mine. Admittedly we made slower progress than we had to due to all the flirting and looking into each other's eyes. Twenty minutes later we were just down the hallway from the Defender's Den when we heard Professor Tonks voice approaching us. I scrambled around the corner of an empty hall and pulled Dean along with me.

"Something will have to be done Professor Longwood. This cannot continue."

"I agree," Professor Longwood said. "What would you suggest?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I'll have to think on it..." her voice faded away. Once the coast was clear Dean and I ran the rest of the way to the secret entrance to the Defender's Den. Dean struck a match and held it up to one of the stone bricks in the newly constructed wall. A door appeared under the matchlight and I could hear noise coming from the other side of the door. Opening it we saw well over a hundred students gathered in the large space. The loud music playing had to compete with the din of all the conversing teenagers.

"There you are!" Seamus yelled to us from behind the make-shift bar he had stocked well with pile of boxes filled with drinks. A handful of students had queued up in front of him. "I thought you'd been caught." He squinted his eyes while looking at Dean for a moment before breaking out into a smile, "But I see you've been snogging each other instead, well done!"

I looked at Dean's face and my cheeks flushed in embarrassment as everyone at the bar was hooting and hollering at us now. I really wasn't someone that wanted that sort of thing to be widely known. Before you know it, you could get yourself declared the school slag, and I certainly didn't want that. Indeed, there was lipstick all over Dean's lips that I hadn't seen in the dark hallways. He quickly wiped it off.

"Leave it Seamus," he said laughing.

"All right, all right, here have some drinks," he said sliding us some fire whiskeys. "What will you have?" He turned towards Romilda Vane who had approached the bar smiling flirtatiously.

We took the opportunity to make our escape and press deeper into the room. It was curved like a C with a door at one end that couldn't be seen from the other end of the room. It curved around the bottom of one of the towers. Dean and Seamus had set up benches that wrapped most of the way around the room and Dean had chosen music that was loud and fast and I had helped them charm some lanterns that provided just a little warm light as they floated above us. Many of the people in the room looked a bit lost and timid, but a few people had loosened up and were talking animatedly or dancing. The Golden Trio plus Ginny were talking amongst themselves towards one side of the room. One couldn't help but check to see what they were doing, being so famous and everything. And Fay was actually leaning against the wall on the opposite side from me, being chatted up by none other than our teammate, McLaggen. I mouthed a question at her but kept walking, I didn't want to interrupt that. God only new what crap he was saying. She'd probably escape him soon. We could gossip about it later.

Dean pulled me down next to him on a bench. "Cheers," he clinked his glass against mine before taking a sizable gulp. I sipped at it a little, holy crap it tasted awful and burned like a soar throat. I started choking. Have I mentioned that I've never really drank before? Dean cracked up, "Are you okay?"

"Fine, great, it's just a little strong," I gasped out. I was ever so slightly less elegant than I wanted to be.

"Just take it slow, first firewhiskey?"

"Yeah, what gave me away?" I asked sarcastically with a hoarse voice. "When exactly did you learn how to drink Mr. Sophisticated?"

"Seamus is my best friend remember?"

"Oh yeah, that'd do it," I took another sip. It tasted better this time and I managed not to choke.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm surprised you've never had firewhiskey before."

"Well, Lavender always said it made you do stupid unattractive things," I said and immediately downed another sip. I had really done it now. It was an unwritten rule that we didn't talk about the dead. Not since coming back. We had all mourned all summer. And I don't think any of us wanted to dwell on it. Dean didn't say anything for a while.

"You must really miss her," he finally said squeezing my hand. What, my dead teenage best friend who was as close to me as my own twin sister. Nah.

"I'm adjusting," I answered truthfully. I really didn't think of her as often as I used to. Tonight though had brought it all back. She lived for nights like these, full of fun and excitement and drama.

"I'm sorry..." he started.

"Don't," I said looking at him. My eyes were brimming with tears and instead of looking away I wanted him to see, so that he could squash the sadness instead of letting me wallow in it. He took one look at me and must have read my mind.

"Let's dance," he said standing us up and pulling me with him playfully.

"You're so...perfect," I said to him.

"That's what all the ladies say." I punched him in the arm.

I walked away from him dancing and swaying as I walked. I knew I could dance and I knew he was watching. I pressed towards the middle of the burgeoning crowd of dancers, where Luna was twirling by herself. I started dancing with her and sure enough within a few moments I could feel Dean behind me.

It was nice dancing with a glass in my hand, it was like having a little prop. It kept my arm focused. I was musing on my glass of firewhiskey. I took another gulp. It was gone. We'd only been dancing for a few minutes. And the glass that surely held at least two shots was empty. This wasn't good. Or was it awesome. I couldn't tell. I was dancing and having fun. So carefree. It was awesome. Wait was I drunk. Hannah was flailing around a bit as she danced. Neville was dodging her stray arms and legs as he attempted to dance with her. Oh he didn't move fast enough, she hit him right in the nose and then started laughing uncontrollably. She was probably drunker than me. I cracked up.

"Switch," I said loudly in Dean's ear as I tried to exchange my empty glass for his still half full one.

"I don't think so princess," he denied me. I tried harder to grab his glass which he quickly downed.

"No fair," I said.

"You've had enough for now," he said. How the hell did he still look completely sober?

We danced for a while. Almost everyone was dancing now. The music was definitely a fantastic idea. Seamus kept the booze flowing. Everything and everyone was just so warm. It was fun dancing with all my friends from all the houses. Except Slytherin of course. None of them were here, at least as far as I could tell.

Finally I dodged Dean and escaped towards the bar.

"Hi Seamus!" I squealed enthusiastically.

"You look like you're having fun."

"Yes, I am. But I need something to drink, something delicious! Not gross and disgusting like firewhiskey."

"Here try one of these," he handed me a drink that looked yellow and pink and smoky. "Ohhh..."

"Are you sure Parvati? I think you've had enough," Dean said catching up with me.

"I can take care of myself," I asserted.

"Yes, let the lady choose," Seamus defended me.

"I like you Seamus," I said as I grabbed the drink and took a sip. No burning. Why the hell didn't everyone drink like this? Why drink medicine when you could drink amazing juicy deliciousness? Drinking made no sense. "Now come dance with us."

"I'd love to doll," Seamus was a little tipsy too. "But somebody has to be back here tending the bar."

"Who wants to serve drinks?" I bellowed and grabbed the nearest volunteer, a rather good looking blond Eric something from Ravenclaw and pushed him behind the bar.

"Done!" I declared before grabbing Seamus' hand and dragging him out to dance with the rest of us.

So the boy couldn't really dance, but he did just fine as the girls from the bar flocked around him and engulfed the happy lad.

I consumed my drink a bit slower this time and continued dancing with Dean who definitely had rhythm. People were hooting again at something. I looked around for the source of their amusement, and there was Fay snogging Cormac.

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed. That was freaking hilarious. She always acted like she hated his guts at practice, complaining about his inflated ego. Did she secretly like Creepy McLaggen? He was cute but that was just...unthinkable...

I danced closer to Dean now, my back against his chest as he held on to one of my hands. The music pulsed. This was just so much fun. Hermione brushed past me angrily and I saw her storm out the door. A minute or so later Ron followed. Perfectly predictable behavior for the two of them.

There were several people that were getting embarrassingly drunk, Seamus amongst them. Thankfully I wasn't amongst them, or at least I didn't think I was. Dean held me up whenever I needed to rest against him. He was perfect. I wanted to give him another snog, but not amongst these gossip mongers. Sigh. This was perfect, finally finally, some real fun here at Hogwarts.

"What's he doing here?" I heard Seamus ask loudly, loud enough to be heard over the music. His swaying hand was pointing towards Mandy Brocklehurst, towards the boy standing next to Mandy Brocklehurst, Blaise Zabini.

"Calm down Finnigan, he's here with me," Mandy explained.

"I don't bloody care, he's a bloody snake," Finnigan shook off the girl he'd been dancing with and advanced on Zabini. Dean had stopped dancing with me to see what was happening, but he was still holding my hands.

"Leave off Finnigan, he wasn't a Death Eater or anything," Mandy added moving in front of Zabini.

"I want him out now, bloody murderous coward," Seamus practically bellowed. Thank goodness the loud music drowned him out a bit. Maybe all this alcohol wasn't such a great idea. Seamus definitely seemed more out of control than I would have expected.

Suddenly he advanced on Zabini and punches were being thrown, Dean abruptly left my side and ran towards the altercation. Mandy started crying "Stop it" over and over as she tried to pry Seamus off of Zabini. Soon enough Dean was there calming Seamus down. Everyone around us had stopped dancing and were staring at the ongoing fray. I had walked over as well, though I couldn't really remember deciding to. Damn, suddenly I wasn't liking this intoxication feeling so much. "Get him out of here," Seamus was saying to Dean.

"We're leaving," Mandy declared and then grabbed Zabini's hand. He looked at me pensively for a moment before following Mandy towards the door. Both he and Seamus were bloodied up. I had no idea Mandy and Zabini were together. That was going to be...tricky for them. I suppose I didn't know him very well. Maybe he wasn't a Death Eater like she said? Maybe he didn't deserve that? But I still felt so resentful towards the whole lot of the Slytherins our year. Even if he wasn't a Death Eater, than so what? He still watched us all fight and die and stood by and did nothing. A burning knot of anger was growing in my throat, and being inebriated was making it harder to rein in.

I looked around for Dean's support but he was still trying to calm Seamus down. I suddenly felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't breath. I turned around staggering a bit, even in my flats. It was so bloody hot, so many people. I needed to get out. I pushed my way towards the door. So close, so close to cool air and being able to breath. I pushed open the door into the cool dark hallway and escaped. No crush of people, no loud music, no indication at all of all the excitement on the other side of the door, nope it was just a wall now.

I didn't feel like going back in, and in any case I didn't have a match, so I started to head back towards Gryffindor tower. I tried to be quiet as I went. I wasn't quite sure if I was doing a good job of it. I hated that feeling, of somehow not really knowing what I was doing. So I focused extra hard, taking each step deliberately trying not to let my foot falls be too loud. I stopped. Was that shuffling feet I heard. Oh crap. Maybe it was just someone else leaving the party. Or maybe it was McGonagall. She was going to catch me and expel me. I ran, ran as hard as I could back to the tower. Forget total silence, I was as loud as a hippogriff trotting down the hallway.

Thankfully I returned to the dormitory quickly. I sought out the a window in the corner and plonked down into a cozy armchair facing the window after wrestling it open a crack. A cool October breeze darted into the Common Room and I breathed it in deeply. I needed to cool down, for some reason I felt unbearably hot.

Drinking was so fun and so yucky. My stomach turned uncomfortably. Oh gods, this sucked. Lavender and I were supposed to do this together. Once we graduated, we were going to celebrate with our first drinks. Well, things didn't quite go as planned. The thoughts and the tears I had fought back came again. I didn't have the will to fight them back this time. They started to spill silently down my cheeks, leaving icy trails in their wake. Thankfully no one else seemed to be in the room to witness this. Witness me unraveling. Goodbye Lavender I thought as I tucked my head into the edge of my wing-back chair. I cried for a little while and started to feel relief. Less sad. I stared out at the night time and my eyes started to droop.

"There you are," Dean's voice sounded startled. "I've been looking everywhere for you, I didn't know where you'd gone. I didn't see you hiding in the chair. I've been to the party and back looking for you. Are you alright?" I could tell he was concerned but also a bit miffed. Whoops, I hadn't told him I was leaving. Curses.

"Sorry, I just felt too hot in there. I ran out, I didn't think." I must have looked pitiable because Dean started chuckling.

"All right, all right, scoot over," he said and I moved towards the right side of the big chair and he squeezed in on my left. I leaned over and rested my head on his chest as he enveloped me with a strong warm arm.

"Is the party still going?" I inquired.

"Yeah, but I'd rather be here. It's quieter. And nicer." He gave me a squeeze.

"You really are perfect. Too perfect. We're together right?" My inhibitions were definitely down. Why was I being so forward? Asking to be his girlfriend when I would usually wait agonizing about it until he decided to say it or I weaseled it out of him somehow.

"Sure, if that's what you want," he stroked my hair gently back from my face. He was so warm, so reassuring.

"It is. This is nice," I smiled into his shoulder. Within moments my tired eyes started to close again.

It must have been a little while later that we were being shaken awake. Dean must have closed the window because I hadn't frozen. Even though I felt groggy having just awoken, I felt more controlled, the booze must have been wearing off. The other party goers were returning, many looking rather worse for wear. Dean squeezed my hand tenderly before I headed up to the room. I had rather good dreams for the rest of the night.

Breakfast the next morning was a horrible spectacle. Dozens of students seemed a bit green and several faces were missing. Probably feeling too sick to make it I figured. Thankfully I wasn't sick, and every bite I ate was helping me shake off my lingering tiredness. Fay was sitting across from me looking decidedly uncomfortable. I kept shooting knowing glances her way, which was probably not helping. I had interrogated her about McLaggen this morning and she had declared it was all a horrible terrible embarrassing mistake before locking herself in the bathroom. We'd have to talk more later. Dean was sat next to me and we fell into a comfortable conversation. Unfortunately, the general ill-feeling prevalent amongst the seventh and eighth years did not go unnoticed by the headmistress who had just strode into the Great Hall and even though it was the weekend went straight to the podium to make an announcement.

"I have just come from the infirmary where several students are being treated by Madam Pomfrey this morning for being ill with drink. Looking out at you now I see that these were not isolated cases. I will be investigating this incident and you'd better believe that I'll find out exactly what happened. I expected that having eighth years with us this year would lend an air of maturity to the school. Instead it appears many of you have been acting like a bunch of entitled idiots. I am very disappointed," she said accenting the final word to emphasize it. Oh shit, someone was going to crack and tell. There were just too many of us at the party. Why oh why had Seamus served so much alcohol? What were we thinking? Of course it was going to end this way.

"We're done for," Seamus said under his breath to Dean and I. Dean's face had fallen considerably. Professor Weasley got up from his chair and made his way over to the eighth year Gryffindors at the table.

"If you all are finished with breakfast, please come with me to my office," he told us politely. "Not you Miss Patil, I believe you have a detention to serve with Professor Rosier." Oh yeah, that. I watched with trepidation as every eighth year but me got up from the table. I still had a few minutes so I opened up Padma's letter from that morning.

Dearest Sister,

Thanks so much for the warning. It would have been a disaster if they'd met Anthony that way. So, I decided to tell them. And they took it really really well. I mean, I didn't tell them that we were living together, just that I had this great boyfriend. Mom said she was really excited to meet him. I don't think Dad is as enthusiastic, but he's not mad so that's something.

Everything is going well. Autumn in France is amazing. I miss home, but I really like it here. I feel like I've grown up and moved on. I mean, I don't mean you haven't or anything. It's just it's really nice to be away, I hope that doesn't sound cowardly. Anyway, Anthony and I have been touring around exploring the countryside and finding new restaurants and hideaways. It's been like a dream.

I've also gotten pretty good at picking wines. I'll send you a few bottles, for your first drink right! Hope things are going well with Dean. He was always such a sweet sensitive type. I wonder what he sees in you? JOKING! You're of course wonderful and smart and gorgeous and he's lucky to have you. Make sure you tell me how your Hogsmeade date goes.

And good luck on your first Quidditch match, it's next week right? So excited for you!

Love,

Padma

Yup, well that just made me feel loads worse.