Hey Guys! My trip was great and I was so happy to get back to this! This chapter is a little short, but I liked where it ended and didn't want to push it. I am thinking maybe two more chapters, maybe four. We only have about ten episodes left in Game of Thrones and I want to give nice fat chapters each time. Next update will most likely be on Monday as I have Mondays and Wednesdays off from work. In the mean time, check out my other work Knickers and a Missing Cat. Always always comments are most welcome!
Lily had been alone for a very long time. She had lost her parents at the ripe old age of twelve. Her sister close after. Lily had to depend on herself. Ted looked after her a bit, made sure she had someone who knew her comings and goings but Lily was alone. She hunted her own food and built her own fires. She never owed anyone for anything until that damn James Potter came along. And it wasn't some small thing like a hat or some firewood, it was her life. From that stupid moment onward James would be the center of her world. It began and ended with James Potter. And Lily hated herself for it.
Lily hated that this man would give her something she could never give back. She also hated how kind he was. How his eyes flashed quick as a whip when he was angry. How his hand would bury itself in his hair when he was frustrated. How he looked at her with such awe and wonder. She hated that she was starting to fall for the damn man. Because she knew. She knew it would never work out. She knew she'd fall fast and hard and he wouldn't fall at all. She also knew he was a spy. How could she not? The great Albus Dumbledore would not be killed that easily, and yet he had. A man who stood so firmly to his vows would never give them up. He could never truly love her. But damn if she didn't want him anyways.
Lily wanted to follow him back to the Wall and let him carry her over. To forget the war and the fighting and just exist. With Him. With James. She nor anyone else would ever convince James to leave Dumbledore's Army, but maybe just maybe she could convince him to love her. And that would be enough.
Lily sat and waited outside Andi's tent for what seemed like hours. She knew telling Andi and Ted that James wanted to join them was a bit of a stretch but she didn't care, she couldn't care. Lily needed James. God what a stupid foolish girl she was. But she would wait forever outside of that tent if she had to. She would wait her whole life. She would do anything for James Potter, even die for him.
James was changing in the little log house. Shedding his wizard robes for muggle. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He couldn't believe that he'd be living with them. As he slipped on his boots all he could think about was his mother. Would she worry about him? Worry if he died or worse abandoned his post? How would she feel about him returning? About him returning home with a girl? No James wouldn't think that way. No matter how he felt about Lily, about the life he wanted to learn with her, he couldn't. He made his vows, the words were spoken. And he couldn't break a vow, not even to create another.
He finished dressing and headed out to the camp. Andromeda right behind him as they crossed the camp, Lily and her little group followed closely behind. James stopped to watch the families come and go when Tonks came and stood behind him.
"Was it hard for you to kill the Great Wizard?" James looked at her then quickly away. Killing Albus Dumbledore was one of the hardest things he had ever done. But was that something a traitor was allowed to feel?
"Yes," James finally admitted. James swallowed hard and continued to look at his feet. Some things couldn't be faked.
"You liked him?" James just nodded and started to walk off, believing the conversation to be over. Andromeda choose to follow. "I like you, but if you're playing us false, it won't be hard for me to kill you. I've got mudblood in my veins. These are my people."
"I understand." Andi looked at him sideways.
"Well, how could you understand?" Andi stopped walking. She still didn't fully believe him. And she may never, but James knew. Janes knew damn well what it was like to love something that didn't belong to you. Something you wanted in your life no matter the cost.
"You want to protect your people." James said. Protection is what drove everyone. The only difference is if people are protecting themselves, their loved ones or material things.
"Do you know what it takes to unite everything that falls outside the purebloods? Half of whom don't even have magic? Who resent the half that does, not that they can use it either. They speak several different languages in my army. The giants hate the muggle borns. The muggle borns hate the half bloods. Everyone hates the goblins. So, you know how I got all these people to march together in the same army?" Tonks stopped and waited for James to reply. But he didn't know what to say. How could he say anything when his people were responsible?
"No." That's all he could muster. A no.
"I told them we were all going to die, if we don't get south. Because that's the truth." Andromeda walked away then, leaving James to wonder just how many Death Eaters ran about, and worse. Who was commanding them?
By this time they had left the safety of camp and were wondering into the edge of the woods. James was unsure what he was doing here, but he would follow his orders. A large hunting party was following them out. But James and Andi broke off to meet up with a small party standing around looking off into the woods, as if they were waiting to see something, or someone. Ted and Lily were there, looking the most intently. When the two joined them, Ted spoke up.
"Shouldn't be long now." No one said anything. It wasn't until he heard the caw of an eagle did James start to worry. It was circling over the small group again and again. Finally the eagle landed and before James eyes, the eagle turned into a man. He collapsed onto the forest floor, violently shaking.
"What's wrong with him?" James asked. No one else around him seemed concerned about the eagle turned man.
"He's an animagus." James' head snapped to Andromeda's eyes. Surly he heard her wrong. Now everyone was staring at him like he was the crazy one. At James' confusion Andi continued on. "He can transform into an animal, and have all the powers that animal has. He's scouting for us."
Lily turned and looked at James. "What, you've never met an animagus?" Unlike most of the questions she asked at first, James could sense actual confusion in her words.
James just turned to stare down at the man. He hadn't made a single sound. Finally Andromeda called to him.
"Severus." The man seemed to shiver as his spirit settled back into his human form. Severus slowly looked up and immediately locked eyes with James. They burned with hatred. Ted and Andi were helping the man up when Andi presses for information. "Where were you this time?"
The man took several deep breaths. His eyes quickly glanced at Lily them back to Ted and Andi. He breathed once more before answering.
"The Fist of the First Wizards."
"What did you see?" Ted pressed. James simply stood there, gazing down at this man. He hasn't even been intruded yet and already the man hated the very existence of James. Severus looked over at James before letting out a slow dry chuckle.
"Dead Phoenixs." If this man was expecting James to give a reaction, he would be disappointed. James kept his face as neutral as possible as he held the dead eyes of this man. Lily quickly turned to check on James, but he wouldn't look at her either. The little group stood still for a moment before Severus began to walk and rejoin the main party. Ted and Andi following soon after. Lily stood and looked at James. She walked over to him and gave his hand a small squeeze. No words needed to be passed, the squeeze was all that was needed. Silently the two turned and followed.
The hunting party rearranged itself to head to the Fist. James' stomach tossed and turned the whole four hour walk. No one spoke. Just silently marched themselves onward. Lily kept shooting glances at James, but he refused to look anywhere but the ground in front of him.
When they finally reached the Fist everything was quiet. Too quiet. It wasn't until James, Ted, Lily and Andi got to the base of the Fist did the company stop.
Andi simply tisked her tongue. "Always the artists." James' month harden but besides that he kept his eyes on the "art".
All around them were broken brooms. Violently ripped and torn apart. The brooms were shaped into a skull, with what seemed like snakes weaving in and out of the mouth. The Death Eaters symbol, The Dark Mark.
There were no bodies. No blood stains or spell marks, just the brooms. Laid out to taunt.
"It's only brooms." James found himself saying. He meant it only as a reassurance to himself, but the rest of the company heard. "No men." James said to clarify. None of his brothers. But that didn't mean they were safe. Not by a long shot. No one was.
Lily was finally the one who stepped forward. She walked up to Severus and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"You said there was dead Phoenix, Sev."
"There was." Lily held his eyes before the meaning behind his words hit her, and everyone else in the party. Inferi.
"How many men were here?" Andi asked. But they all knew what she really meant. How many new soldiers did He Who Must Not Be Named have?
"About 300." James choked out. In all the dangers he had thought about when joining the DA, a children's bedtime story had not been one of them, but here they were.
"And you know what those men are now?" Ted pressed. James slowly looked up into the eyes of everyone there. He held Lily's eyes a bit longer than anyone else before he met Ted's. He just nodded once.
"We're all the same to them- meat for their army." Andi's eyes were cold as she gazed down on the brooms, almost as if she could see each owner. See each wizard when he was just a child. Many of them were still just that.
"Do you think anyone got away?" James hasd to know if any brothers had survived. If anyone could.
"It's not impossible," Andi started. But James stopped listening as he noticed the man Severus looking all around. His eyes dancing back and forth between the brooms, Lily, and the vast forest. "You don't go far betting against Kingsley Shacklebolt. Dead or alive he took a big gamble coming north. And he lost. His best fighting men are dead. And whether he's Lord Commander of Dumbledore's Army, or a blue eyed corpse, he's a long way from home." Everyone from the DA seemed to be dead as soon as the crossed the wall, everyone but James. What James didn't know is that his death would be in a different way. One not as quick. Not as kind.
Andi turned around to meet the eyes of her husband. "Ted. Climb the Wall." James' head snapped to look at Andi. She could not be serious? Lily shifted her weight, like a child waiting for cake but not wanting her parent to yell about her frigetness. "Take Severus and twenty good men. And take this one." James was surprised to look down and see Andromeda Tonks finger pointed at him. Meaning he would have to climb the Wall. Merlin.
Ted had walked back to join the rest of the party now. Silently accepting Andi's words. But she wasn't finished just yet.
"He knows Castle Black's defenses better than any of us. And if he's useful, good. If not… throw him off the Wall. See if Phones can fly." Severus' eyes seemed to grow large with glee at that idea. Lily took a single step forward, as if she was about to say something, but remembered her place. Just a soldier.
"We're finally going to war then love?" Ted seemed too excited at the promise of bloodshed. Maybe he hasn't seen it yet, or maybe he had seen too much.
"Hide near Castle Black. When I give the signal, hit them in the night." James was trying to act uninterested, but this was huge. The castle could not withstand a siege. It couldn't do much of anything these days, and that was before they lost 300 men. James was starting to respect the Mudbloods, but he had to save his people. No matter what. No matter the cost. He just didn't realize the cost would be so damn high.
"They've got a big old wall to hide behind, but it only guards one side." A small smile took over Andi's face as she finished. Ted pulled her into a hug then. James could see the love on their faces as they held close. A love that would outshine everything, even death.
"I'll see you again love." Ted promised, with a small kiss to his wife's cheek.
"Aye. If you do your job." She hid a playful smirk and she gave him a small peck back.
Severus cleared his throat. James had forgotten the small man was still there. "How will we see your signal?"
Andi kept moving. James thought she was going to ignore Severus' question till she called back over her shoulder.
"Transform into your eagle each night and fly above the Wall. When it's time, I'm going to light the biggest fire the North has ever seen!" She seemed mad with glee as she stocked off. James wondered if she was mad. She would have to be to charge the Wall. But mad just may be enough. And that's what scared James the most.
James, Lily, Ted and Severus marched back to camp. Ted and Severus were talking, deciding who the other eighteen men would be. That left only James and Lily, and Lily has some questions.
"I'm sorry, about your brothers. They may have just been Phoniexs, but they were still just boys. Boys playing in a war were we are all designed to lose." James just kept walking. But Lily pushed on.
"See no matter what side of the wall you're on, Voldemort will kill us all." James abruptly stopped walking, causing Lily to run into him.
"Don't say his name." Lily simple scoffed and starting them walking again.
"Oh? And why shouldn't I say the great bastards name, hm?"
"Names hold power. That one holds more power than most." Now it was Lily who stopped, her little fairy laugh ringing through the forest.
"Oh, so that word hold power? Your vows hold power?"
"Yes?" James answered. He was confused, what was funny about blood and name magic? Lily's face lost the little mirth it held. It turned hard, like she was about to yell at him. Make him sorry that he was ever born, then it softened. It softened like a mother's face. Like a mother having to tell her child a beloved pet had died. It was the face of love, and it frightened James.
"If words mean so much to you, how can you call us Mudbloods? Have you ever stopped and thought about what that means?" Lily's eyes were so full of emotion James had to keep walking to ignore the sheer power in them. In her.
"No, I haven't."
"Mud blood. Blood so diluted and dirty it's like mud. Gross disgusting mud. The very thing you wash off and regret every stepping in. Regret ever learning what mud truly was. I never asked to be born with magic, and I'm sure neither did you. None of us are,none of us asked it just happens. Right? Then I couldn't have asked to be born the way I am? If I could I certainly wouldn't have picked this side of the Wall. I mean we don't even have real wands James. We have nothing." Lily has stopped walking at this. Tears were brimming on the edge of her lashes and James had to stop himself from trying to wipe them away.
"You don't have wands?" James never knew that. He thought back to their first meeting. How no one had tried to fired a wand. How he had never seen anyone from this side of the Wall cast anything. Ever.
Lily wiped the tears from her eyes with a dry laugh. "You know nothing, James Potter." She pushed her way past him and ran to catch up with Ted and Severus.
James was a fool. His friends had teased him about this since the day he was born. Never in his nineteen year had he ever thought in the mind of a mud- a muggleborn. Not once. He imagined his whole life over, if only he had been born to a family not 50 miles over.
The absolute joy of discovering you had magic. That you are special. Then the absolute dread you'd feel after learning the magic people didn't want you. They didn't even want to knowledge your existence, and if they did it was to insult you. The muggles ready to burn anyone for having this magic. Fitting nowhere. Never really mastering your magic because you couldn't even have access to a wand.
A wand. His hand absently wondering down to finger his own. His face flushed red as he remembered how he had teased Lily about not knowing how to handle a wand. How she had looked like a baby. How hard those words must have been to swallow. How easily they had left his mouth, and how bitterly they must have tasted in Lily's.
"Are you coming then, Potter?" Lily called out to him. James hasn't realized he had stopped walking and had fallen behind the rest of the group. His head snapped up and for the first time he truly saw her. Lily. Her smile lit up her face, the left side slightly higher than the right. How her hair was a wild mess of curls that was as free as their owners. How her eyes seemed to hold their own forest he could get lost in. Merlin, James was a goner. "Well, are you going to join us?" Lily called out again.
James found it was not a lie when he called back. "Yes, I'll join you."