Hey hey hey everyone. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, been busy with certain affairs and whatnot. I'll try and keep these chapters coming fast, but I can't promise anything.

Disclaimer: For the last fricking time, I DON'T OWN BLEACH

Ichigo got up from bed while it was still dark out and groggily changed into some casual robes. He wasn't the kind of person that would wake up before noontime, but today was different; today he was going back to the human world. It had been a month since Ichigo became an official shinigami, and part of that special arrangement was that at the end of every month, he was allowed to return to the human world and visit his friends and family for three days. This was the first time that he would travel from Soul Society back to his old home, and he had been looking forward to it after the first week of living in the Seireitei. He muttered a checklist to himself as he stuffed various items into a sack.

Clothes? Check

Toothbrush? Check

Zangetsu? Check

Food? Check

Manga? Check

Condoms? Check

Before he Ichigo left on his trip, he thought he would pay a visit to Rukia and say goodbye. When he arrived at the Kuchiki mansion, he knocked on its massive doors and an elderly woman in white robes appeared before him.

"Yes?" she asked sleepily.

"Hi. Could I speak with Rukia Kuchiki?" Ichigo answered.

"Ah, yes, Captain Kurosaki, come in, come in." the servant replied while motioning for Ichigo to enter. "Might I ask why you have come so early in the morning?"

"I just wanted to say something to Rukia before I left for the human world." Ichigo said as he looked around the enormous dwelling.

"Well, I'm not sure that Miss Kuchiki is awake at the moment, but I don't think she will mind me waking her up, seeing that it is you."

The servant led Ichigo through countless hallways and bounding staircases before stopping in front of a large pair of doors. The old woman reached out to knock on it, but the doors suddenly opened on their own. There on the other side was Rukia in one of Yuzu's dresses, carrying a large knapsack on her back.

"Ichigo?" she said.

The servant was as startled as Ichigo and asked, "Miss Kuchiki! What are you doing up so early? And in such strange attire nonetheless!"

Rukia simply huffed and walked out of her room. "Relax Aiko, it's nothing. I'll just be accompanying Captain Kurosaki to the human world ."

"What? What are you talking about?" Ichigo said confusedly.

"In case you forgot, I have friends there that I haven't seen in awhile. Plus, I think I deserve a short break."

What about your brother? He wouldn't possibly let you come with me."

"Byakuya? I'll just leave him a note saying that I left Soul Society for matters dealing with the Arrancar. He'll buy it, there's nothing to worry about. That is, if Aiko won't say anything."

Rukia shifted her gaze to her servant who nodded in reply. She looked back at Ichigo and said, "Well, how 'bout it Ichigo?"

The captain just turned his back on her and started walking. "Meh, whatever, come on, let's get going."

Rukia smiled, said goodbye to Aiko, and caught up with Ichigo. The pair left the mansion just as the sun began rising over the horizon, slowly transforming the sky into a dark orange. They made their way over to 3rd Division to leave notes explaining their absence, and double checked their possessions. Once they were sure they had everything, they went to 3rd Division's training grounds with their Hell Butterflies. They opened the senkaimon (portal from Soul Society to the human world), but just as they were about to pass through, they heard a voice yelling in the distance.

"Hey! Wait up! Wait! Don't go!" it shouted.

From far away, Ichigo and Rukia knew immediately who it was. His recognizable spiky red hair was bobbing up and down as he ran, and he was waving his zanpaku-to to get their attention.

"Don't leave yet!" the young man screamed. He was completely out of breath by the time he reached Ichigo and Rukia.

"What the hell are you doing Renji?" Ichigo asked with a raised eyebrow.

Heavily breathing and trying to speak at the same time, Renji said, "I'm… going… to… go… with… you… guys…"

"Why? What do you need in the human world?" Ichigo asked.

"My business is my business Ichigo, keep out of it." Renji snapped

"Why can't you go on your own? You have a Hell Butterfly."

"Actually, Captain Kuchiki has mine, he doesn't want me traveling anywhere without his supervision."

"Won't you get in trouble then?"

"Nah. I told him that I would be going with you to the human world to check up on Arrancar activity."

Rukia smirked and said, "Great minds think alike."

Ichigo just scoffed at her remark. "Whatever. Just hurry up and gather your things, we're leaving right now."

"Don't worry, I've got everything I need." he said as he patted a small bag slung over his shoulders.

"Well, are we going or not?" Rukia asked impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah, we're going." Ichigo replied.

The three shinigami walked through the gate and ended up floating in midair over Karakura Town.

"Oh" Ichigo said.

"Crap" Renji added.

"Eeek!" was all Rukia managed to get out as the three plummeted down to the ground.

Boom!

Suddenly, dark enveloped the falling trio, and they were confined in a tight space.

Screaming and pandemonium ensued...

"Hey! Whoever that is, get your hand off my ass!" Rukia shouted.

"Shut up! Like I'd want to cop of a feel off you." Ichigo retorted.

"Will you idiots be quiet?!" Renji exclaimed.

"Eeek! Get your hands off my chest you pervert!"

Smack.

"Ow! Dammit! For the last time Rukia, I'M NOT FEELING YOU UP!"

A familiar voice cut through the darkness.

"Why hello there Mr. Kurosaki! Long time no see!"

The light shined brightly, revealing Urahara's magic carpet. Urahara himself was leaning over the piled up shinigami, waving his fan and smiling like an idiot. "My my, Mr. Kurosaki and Ms. Kuchiki, I never knew that you two were so intimate."

Ichigo and Rukia bolted up, both glaring at Urahara.

"And who is this little specimen right here?" Hat-and-clogs said as he poked Renji with his zanpaku-to.

"Get that damn thing away from me!" Renji shouted angrily, batting away the cane.

"Ooh, he's certainly a feisty one."

"Stop fooling around Kisuke. We appreciate the rescue, but-"

"How did you know we would be here?" Ichigo interrupted.

Urahara replied, "Oh, I just heard from Ms. Yoruichi that you would be stopping by for awhile, and I thought I'd greet you." He fanned his face even faster, grinned, and continued. "Well, now that the formalities are out of the way, it looks as though you are in need of some gigais. If I am correct, I still have a healthy supply at my shop, so off we go!"

The four flew off into the sunrise, keeping silent the whole way to Urahara Shoten.

A/N: Bah, lousy chapter. I'm considering to stop all my stories... they just suck... anywho... sorry for the un-updates everyone! I've been a vewy vewy bad boy. :(