A/N: I wasn't going to do this, but I saw something today that said, stop worrying about what you think the readers read and write what's in your heart. This, this is in my heart. Find something to hang on to. Forgive me. Ch 4, Sam, Faye, and Irving

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck

October, 1994

"Dad," the twelve year old yelled as he raced through the front door, slamming it behind him. He ran to his father's office finding it empty. He ran back to the living room and yelled again. "Dad!"

"He's not here Chuck," Ellie said, sticking her head in living room from the kitchen. "He's….gone."

"How long this time?" Chuck asked, not surprised. He had been gone more often than not lately.

"No idea, why?"

"There's this amazing party being held at a farm, and all the proceeds go to help a sick kid," Chuck explained to Ellie. "Can we go Ellie, please?"

"I don't know, Chuck," Ellie replied going back into the kitchen to make dinner for the two of them. "You know we only have so much money when he leaves."

"Ellie, we can use my money, and we'll use fake names so no one will know who we are." Ellie spun and gave him a look. "I just thought it would be cool, spy like, and for one night, just one, we aren't the Ellie and Chuck, who's parents left them. We can be….Faye and Irving, two cool kids no one knows, no one feels sorry for, no one pities."

Ellie studied him for a minute. She knew what he was feeling, because she was feeling the same emotions. She sighed, and nodded. "Okay, Chuck. Okay."

}o{

Now, the day after Valentine's Day

"I'll be upstairs in a minute, I just need to finish a few things here," Sarah yelled, digging through the box, looking for something, anything. Surely Ellie didn't mean what she had said, did she? There was no way, she knew, right? She found a letter with the words on the front Mother's Day. She quickly opened the letter, took a deep breath, and began to read.

To Chuck's SO,

How many have you read now? How many letters have you read? Is this the second or the fifth? How is he? How's Clara? How are you? God, I wish I was there to ask you all of this, but if you're reading this, then this letter, it's big.

Mother's Day is not the one in May, but the day our mom left us. It's the day Chuck and I celebrated our independence. Dad was still around when Mom left, but….she wasn't. There were a lot of different ways we celebrated, but the one that I will never forget is the one where he wanted to go to a party. I had just gotten my license and Chuck wanted to forget who he was that day. He had to. It had been too much. We had been through too much. I wanted to tell him to be proud of himself, to be proud of being Chuck Bartowski.

It was Mother's Day and Dad was gone again, and for one moment. For just one, we both wanted to get away. So we went. We went to this party, and we met some people. Actually I met some people, and Chuck just hung back. He was scared to meet anyone new because if he did meet someone, and acted like himself, and people didn't like him, then his cover, his last piece of security that protected him, was gone. He hung onto that stupid Irving persona like it was mana from heaven. Like it was a life preserver in the middle of the raging ocean.

There was someone he met there, and for the first time in a long time, I saw Chuck. I saw him happy, laughing, cutting up, being the Chuck I knew he was. What I hated was how he had to hide. How he had to protect himself from the horrors of life. For the next few months, he was back to being him, all because a random person, showed him kindness. I never knew what was said to him, but I think it is something he always carried with him. He was himself…until Dad left.

Dad went out for pancakes, and he never came back. That joy Chuck found that day went with him. He began to recover some as the years went on, but I never saw that light in his eye again. I hope you give him that light in his eye. I hope you give him that joy. You must, or else you wouldn't have read this far. You must, or why would you be here, with him, raising another couple's child? This is why I know I love you. This is why I know you're my sister. I just hate how I can't be there with you, to witness, to rejoice, and to tell you how much you're loved.

I need to go, but let me ask you, do you know what an Acrostic is?

Follow your heart. Answer honestly. Love him. Swallow your pride. Even when you want to throttle him. Be there for each other. Or else face the consequences. Time is fleeting. Tomorrow isn't promised. Or any other moment. Memories are everything. Say what's in your heart. And he'll love you for it. Make every second count.

Love you, Sis

Ellie.

P. S. We went by our middle names that day, to complete the disguise. Faye and Irving, ridiculous isn't it? Love you, Sis.

Sarah put down the letter, covered her mouth and began to cry. She knew. She knew that Ellie had said Sam for a reason. It wasn't a coincidence. Ellie knew she and Chuck belonged together.

"Thank you, Ellie," she said softly. She swore she felt Ellie's arms around her.

A/N: DAVID WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Right this second I'm crying. Explanation a'coming. Reviews and PMs are always welcome. Take Care, until next time.

DC