Clare's POV

He slammed the door in my face. I just stared at the wood in front of my nose in shock. My feet were glued to the floor, my heart was beating furiously as I just realized what I had seen. Adam couldn't be pregnant; he just couldn't be!

I drew in a small breath and backed away from his door. A head popped out of the bedroom down the hall from Adam's.

"Hey, you okay, Clare?" Drew asked with concerned eyes.

I couldn't respond for a moment. He exited his room to stand next to me, and he turned and stared at Adam's closed door. We both stood in silence.

"I'm okay, Drew, thanks. Adam, obviously isn't. He threw me out pretty quickly." I sighed. "I don't understand it. What did I do to make him so angry with me?" I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.

Drew glanced at me and saw my glassy eyes. He took my hand and led me down to his room, shut the door, and directed me to a chair in front of his bed. The tears started to fall as I watched him toss himself onto the black comforter. I quickly wiped my eyes as I hated for anyone to see me cry. Drew looked at me empathetically.

"Clare, it's really complicated. I wouldn't take what he says personally; he's been this way with just about everyone. He hates his life right now, I mean, wouldn't you if you were in his shoes? I can't even imagine about what he is going through." Drew took a breath and his demeanor shifted to angry. "Fuck. If I could just get my hands on that motherfucker, I would fucking kill him. You know? I just want to know who did this to him and make him pay for hurting my brother. For demoralizing him. For making him feel less than human. I want to make the son of a bitch feel the way that he made my brother feel." He said as he punched the pillow on the bed.

I blanched at his display of anger. I couldn't say I didn't feel the same way; I did. But I still felt like this was somehow my fault, that I had done something to Adam to make him feel like he did.

"Drew, I missed so much when I was in the coma. When did Adam start showing that he was angry with me?"

Drew gazed at me thoughtfully. "I don't really know, honestly. I mean, he saw you in the coma the day he was…" Drew trailed off. "He was perfectly concerned about you that day. Then after it happened, he just didn't want to see you or speak about you. He really didn't want to see anyone."

My heart dropped. It all made sense to me now. "Drew, he saw me the day he was raped? Why has no one told me this?!" I almost yelled. Guilt flooded my body and mind as tears prickled my eyes. If Adam wouldn't have come to see me in the hospital that day, none of this would have happened. This had to be the reason he resented me.

"No, Clare, don't you ever think that what happened to him was your fault."

Tears flowed freely down my face.

Drew grabbed my arms. "Clare, I mean it, look at me," I didn't. "Look at me!" My eyes slowly met his. "It's not in any way your fault. You are not responsible at all for what happened to Adam."

My eyes darted away from his and I nodded, and I felt his grip loosen. But I was guilty. I felt the guilt overwhelm me.

"Drew, I have to go. I'll see you later." I quickly rose to my feet and ran out the door.

Eli's POV

Clare had been at the Torres' house for over 2 hours; I was starting to get worried as she was late for our date. I got up and started to pace my bedroom floor. Frustrated, I picked my phone up to see if she had called or texted me. Nothing.

Ever since Clare had woken up from her coma, I had been overprotective of her. Almost losing her killed me, and I vowed that I would protect her as much as I could. She had asked me if she thought that seeing Adam was a good idea; I didn't think it was, but I did not want to dissuade her.

Adam made himself scarce over the last couple of weeks, and I didn't blame him. He had been through so much. But Clare had also been through a ton of pain and suffering, so I told her to go over to the Torres' and see if Adam would talk to her. With Clare being late, however, I was starting to rethink my decision.

Finally I heard the doorbell ring. I threw open the front door, only to find Clare, small and sad. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her eyes were wet with tears. I quickly scooped her into my arms. "Baby, what happened? Are you alright?"

Her tears soaked my left shoulder as she cried, not saying a word. My heart ached for her, but the aching turned sour very quickly. "What did he do to you? What did he say?" I asked angrily.

Adam was my friend, but Clare was my life.

She shook her head. "No, Eli; don't get angry with him. It's me. It's all my fault."

I held her from me for a moment and stared at her in disbelief. "What are you saying? What's all your fault?"

Her eyes were glued to the floor with shame. She wiped her eyes and nose with her sleeve like a little kid. "It's my fault; what happened to him. I caused it. I'm the reason why he got raped!" She broke down in uncontrollable sobs again and sank to the couch. She put her face into a pillow to stifle her cries.

I found myself confused and angry that she would think this. My hands found her shoulders and massaged them lightly. I didn't know what to say when she was so inconsolable. My light touches on her back and shoulders must have had a calming effect because her sobs eventually became softer.

"Clare, you know that is completely not true. How could you even think such a thing? Where did you come up with that idea? What happened to Adam was beyond awful, but in no way is this at all connected to you."

Clare lifted her head from the pillow and looked into my eyes. Her eyes flashed accusingly at me. "You never told me he was going home from the hospital. You never told me he was on his way home from seeing me! I'm the reason he was even on that path! None of this would have happened if I didn't have stupid cancer. Sometimes I wish I would have just died instead of being in that coma."

"Clare, never, for one second, ever wish that. I can't even explain to you how much that hurts me. I am so grateful for your life; every day I give thanks because you are still with me. I can't imagine- I don't want to imagine life without you. So please, do not ever say that again." Tears sprung to my eyes. My breathing became heavy with frustration with Clare and with Adam. I could feel my anxiety overwhelm me as I was flooded with strong negative emotions. Clare could sense that I was starting to get anxious and she quickly pulled me into an embrace. My panic subsided with her touch, and I relaxed in her arms.

"Eli, I'm sorry. I thank God every day that I am still here and with you. But I do feel responsible to a degree. Can we just leave it at that? Just for now. I'm so tired."

I wanted to ask her more about her encounter with Adam, but I knew she was exhausted. I didn't want to make her more stressed about the situation. She was still in a very delicate physical state.

"We'll talk about it tomorrow, then. Did you want to skip the Dot and just do popcorn and a movie on Netflix?" I suggested.

She nodded her head. "Yes please. Let's just cuddle all night."

I smirked and lifted my thumb to wipe her eyelids clean from her tears. "The best kind of date."

Adam's POV

The clock was still flashing on screen of the test. Three minutes were like three decades. I just kept staring at the test; I couldn't tear my eyes away from it.

"Get up and do something," I muttered to myself.

It was painful to leave the bathroom not knowing, but I couldn't sit there and wait any longer. I soon found myself preoccupied with the new Dead Hand album on Itunes. It was a great escape. I even forgot about the test for a while, and I felt like my old self. Almost an hour had gone by before I realized that the test was still in my bathroom, unchecked. The results were definitely revealed. I sat on my bed, desperately trying to get my mind off of the test; to escape once more from reality.

"Just man up," I told myself. "Just go fucking look."

I threw my legs off my bed. I walked to the bathroom with my eyes shut. I felt around the sink until my hand came in contact with the plastic. I couldn't look. I couldn't do it. My hand dropped and I threw the unchecked test in the garbage. Without looking at the test, I took the trash bag out of the garbage can and walked down to the garage to throw the bag out.

"What are you doing, Sweetie?" Mom called out.

"Taking the trash out, Mom."

"Why don't you go down to Above the Dot tonight with your brother? I hear that Becky is going."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, Drew had said something earlier. I don't know. I don't think I'm up for it."

My mother poked her head into the garage. "Adam. Sweetheart. Please go. You need to be around people."

My eyes narrowed. I didn't want to go. I could feel the rage again, but suddenly, it subsided and I was able to think about it. Maybe I would go. Perhaps it would be good to get away from the house. I needed an escape from the uncertainty; I was too chicken shit to view my fate.

"Yeah. Okay, Mom. I'll go."

Clare's POV

I had fallen asleep in Eli's arms. It was easy after all of my crying. I shifted my body gently as to not wake Eli, who also fell asleep during the movie. He had popped in 40 Year Old Virgin to brighten up the mood, but I guess we were just both exhausted. My hand combed through his hair, and I stroked his soft stubbly face. He smiled softly and dreamily.

"Hey you're awake. You okay?" he asked sleepily.

I smiled. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you."

He pulled his arms out in a strong stretch and yawned loudly. "It's fine. I shouldn't have fallen asleep. It's only…jeez it's only 8:00pm!"

I turned to face the clock. It was very early.

"Hey, so I think I may be up for Above the Dot after all. Would you still want to come with me?" I asked.

"Of course! Let me just throw some real pants on and we'll go."

*AT ABOVE THE DOT*

It was unusually packed that night, I assumed there was some sort of live music. The club was set up like a rave, though; lots of strobe lights and fluorescent body lights. Above the Dot was usually chill and not at all a crazy party scene.

I shifted uncomfortably against Eli as we were herded in with the crowd. "Geez, as if it couldn't get any louder," he yelled above the music. He held my hand tightly as we squeezed through the sea of kids. He made eye contact with Drew. "There's Drew. You okay to hang with him?"

"Yes, I'm okay, Eli."

Eli let go of my hand to fist pump Drew. "Hey man, wild night! Guess who's out with me?!" Drew yelled.

My eyes widened as I saw Adam in the distance. I couldn't believe he was out.

"Holy shit. ADAM! Hey Adam!" Eli screamed and waved with delight. Adam glanced over and weakly smiled. He gave a small wave, but did not come over to us. His gaze dropped and he turned the other direction.

Eli looked sheepish as his hand dropped to his side. "Well, at least he's actually out. I guess it will just take some time for him to warm up to people. That's okay, we can wait."

Drew nodded in agreement. "Yeah, man. I never in a million years would have thought that he was coming out tonight. He got so angry at me for even mentioning it to him this afternoon. I wonder what changed his mind." Drew shifted his glance at me, and smiled. "I'm glad you came out here, too. It's good to see you back on your feet. How are you doing?"

I grinned at him. "It's been a process, but I'll be fine. I'm fine." I added, referring to the earlier conversation. "I'm sorry I ran out. It's just been a very confusing time for me."

Eli looked at both Drew and me, but didn't press the subject.

"Clare, how about a drink? Drew, can I get you anything?" Eli offered.

"Yeah, I'll take a Pepsi, thanks!" Drew replied.

"Just water for me, please!" I said.

Eli disappeared in a sea full of people. I excused myself from Drew to head to the girl's room. I felt like it took me forever to push my way past the dancers. I accidently bumped into someone and felt a hand on my back, pushing me forward. I stumbled into the wall in front of me.

"Fuck, watch where you're going!" I heard someone scream. I turned around to see who my assailant was.

"Adam, what the hell?" I glared accusingly. Something was off about him. His eyes were unfocused and his pupils were dilated. He reeked of alcohol.

"Don't fuck with me, Edwards," he slurred. He was concealing something in his hands. It looked like a prescription pill bottle.

"Adam, what do you have?" I asked. I instinctively reached for the object, but he jerked his hand back.

"None of your business. Get out of my way!" He pushed past me, almost knocking me to the floor again.

Tears prickled my eyes. He was so angry with me. I decided to skip the wash room and rejoined Drew and Eli. Eli's eyes caught mine, and he became serious.

"Clare, what's wrong?" His hand found my waist.

"I can't be here anymore. I need to go home. Please, take me home." I turned to Drew, who looked confused. "Adam is pretty fucked up, Drew. Maybe you should find him and get his ass home, too." With that, I turned, grabbed Eli's hand, and pushed my way through the crowd to exit the building. The fresh air felt good on my sweaty skin, and I took in a deep breath. After a few paces away from the Dot, Eli paused.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened?" he asked quietly.

I bit my lip and shook my head. My eyes found the ground. Eli maneuvered his body so he was able to catch my gaze. "Clare, please, tell me what's wrong. I am not comfortable that you are so visibly upset, and I don't know why. Please."

Silence.

"I think Adam's high on prescription drugs. But he was also drunk, so it may just be the alcohol. He's so angry with me, Eli. So very angry." I started to choke up.

I felt Eli's arms curl around my back. My tears soaked his shoulder, but he did not seem to notice or care. He let me cry into his body as long as I needed. That is what I love about him. He knows me.

"You know, Clare; I'm not going to tell you he's not hurting. I'm not going to tell you that he's not angry. I'm not even going to tell you that all he needs is time to come around. What I will tell you, and what I'm going to keep telling you is that you are not the reason Adam was raped. What happened to Adam was terrible. But it is foolish to think that you are the cause of his pain. I think Adam is looking to blame someone for what happened, and honestly, as awful as it sounds, you are the easy target in this situation. It's not fair. But it's reality."

More silence.

Eli was right. Adam was going to blame me, if that's what he wanted to do. I had to come to terms with that.

I wiped my eyes and smiled. "You know, Goldsworthy, sometimes, you really do know the right things to say. And I love you for it." I brought my lip to his for a brief kiss.

We stood there in the moment shortly before we both heard a disturbance behind us. Eli turned and put his body in front of mine protectively.

Drew grasped Adam's arm aggressively as they both struggled down the street. Drew looked seething mad, and Adam was spitting out verbal obscenities.

"Fuck you, Drew! Let me go, you asshole!" Adam stopped in front of Eli and me, kicking and flailing his arms to free himself of Drew's strong hold.

"Shut up, Adam," Drew growled.

Eli and I eyed the situation. Eli, still in front of me, stepped forward towards Drew. "You need a hand, Drew?"

Adam snorted with disgust. "Stay out of this, Dick."

Drew silently nodded. Eli grabbed Adam's other arm, and Adam started to writhe even more. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Get off me! GET OFF ME!"

Eli got an elbow in the gut, but this only strengthened his grip on his friend.

Drew shook his head. "Fuck this shit," he muttered under his breath. He swiftly picked up Adam and threw him over his shoulder. He hastily continued to walk down the street back to their house. Eli and I followed closely behind, making sure that Drew got home safely.

We approached the Torres household. Adam was still fighting Drew as hard as he could. Adam gave a final kick of his small legs, and finally Drew dropped him in front of the trash can sitting outside.

"Get in the fucking house, Adam! Now! Before I wake Mom and Dad and tell them that you are fucking wasted!"

Adam, still on the ground, finally stopped his struggle. He slowly rose to his feet and glared at Drew, then at Eli. His icy gaze found my own frightened one. He drew back his leg and kicked the trash can at me as hard as he could. I barely dodged the aluminum can.

"Fucking bitch," he muttered under his breath as he opened the door and slammed it in our faces.

Drew sighed. It may have been out of relief that his brother made it home safe, and it may have been that the whole ordeal was over. I bent over to help pick up the trash that was strewn all over the lawn.

"Thanks, Clare, but you don't need to help. I've got it."

I smiled at Drew and took his hand. I squeezed it reassuringly. All of a sudden, my eye caught something that took my breath away.

Eli and Drew continued to pick up the other side of the lawn, while my eyes fixated upon the odd item that flew the farthest away from the can. My heart fluttered as I realized what it was.

"Oh my god," I breathed to myself. I slowly leaned to grab the pregnancy test in my hands. I turned the test over in my hands to reveal the results that were still very much displayed on the digital screen. I gasped in agony as I silently read the test.

Pregnant.

Auth note: It's been way too long, so I tried to give a bit of a longer chapter. So much of my life has gotten in the way with this fiction, but I want to continue with it as long as I can. I very much appreciate all the reviews and follows that I've gotten through this hiatus. Thank you.