Constant ringing, gradually getting more intense. Groaning, after dawning upon the realisation that it was the phone, he hoisted himself up off the desk, with mild annoyance. He'd been in a slumber. Far from peaceful, but a slumber nonetheless. A sigh escaped his mouth as he reached for the wretched device, and placed it next to his ear.
"Hello you've reached the Clown Prince of Crime and-"
"P-puddin'!"
A wave of relief washed over his tired body, however as soon as it had come, it was replaced with a torrent of fear. The tone of her voice... it was full of such terror. Such a tone was so unnatural to emit from her mouth.
"Harley, what is it, what's wrong?"
"She found me J, the baby... oh god, they'll take it away, they'll kill me, p- please..."
"Who's found you Harls, I won't let anybody hurt you, tell me what's happened!"
"There was a knocking at the door a- and Selina was out getting food, so I answered it, and... she found me J... Pam-"
"WHAT?"
"Sh- she saw the bump puddin', she knows, she got so angry... she's going to tell Gordon where I am..."
For the briefest of moments, the Joker felt genuine fear. Not of Ivy, but for Harley and her- no. THEIR child. If Gordon, or the flying rodent were to identify where his harlequin had been harboured for the past seven months... all hell could break lose. Though, if all the cards were wrong, he could lose the only souls that made his fragile, broken existence worth suffering each miserable day for.
"Baby listen to me closely. When Selina gets back, tell her everything that happened, and hide in the basement. Take what you need down there with you, and don't go back up to the surface okay? I'll sort out the tree hugging bitch, and I'll ring you when everything's sorted. It's going to be okay Harls, I'll protect you. I... I lo... you know."
"I know Puddin'. I love you too. Don't kill her J, please, she just doesn't understand. Selina's back, I'll tell her now. Goodbye Puddin'..."
The hook gracefully accepted the phone once again, and the Joker was left alone in a burning silence. Merely seconds later, the rage started to bubble and boil inside of him, rapidly crawling it's way to the surface, suffocating his cracked soul and demented heart. A plan was already formulating inside his head. Down to the very last speck of blood, he was certain of what he was to do to stop Ivy from destroying something that could be the most beautiful thing he was capable of ever having. Deadly intent was drilled into his eyes, and once all his weapons were packed inside the the back of the black van, he set his foot down. Where? To the Botanic Gardens.
Dark green mists twisted around the sickening place. Such putrid colours, at least in his mind, should be destroyed permanently. Leaving the thought aside, yanking the preposterously large doors open, he stepped inside, hand in hand with his tools of destruction. Immediately he put himself to work, making sure every last green thing with leaves was fully coated with a blanket of highly flammable liquids. Oh how they hissed and screamed at him, but he was not one to care. Once he was at the very heart of the building, he laid his eyes upon the real target in all of this charade. Poison Ivy. In all her grace and beauty, there she sat, upon the fountain, talking to one of her... 'babies'. Her attention snapped quickly along with her head, and a horrid grin spread across her green face as she saw him walking to her.
"Looking forward to being a father Joker?"
"Don't you dare. Don't you FUCKING dare."
"I have no idea what you're on about!"
"If you go to Gordon or the bat, I WILL make you suffer, you green bitch."
"Oh really? And just how are you going to do that?"
He need not speak another word, as he held up the small, innocent lighter. Terror struck through her, her cries of fear meaning nothing to him, they only fuelled the laughter pouring from him. A countdown, he shouted at her, and as quickly as she could, she ran. Nearing the end of the numbers, he'd walked far enough away, so he was now out of the building.
"Zero."
His word, laced with venom, dripping with cruelty. With as much power as he could muster, he threw the lighter inside the door, and with a deafening sound, the entire place went up in flames. Burning, shining brightly. Menacing laughter along with the roar of the flames were the only things to be heard, whilst he strolled back to the van. Once inside, he reached for the small phone, located on the passenger seat. Dialling the numbers, just eager to tell her of the news.
"Joker. Everything clear?"
"Sorted. She won't go to Gordon now."
"That's a relief. I'll put Harley on."
"Good."
"Puddin'?"
"Hey Harls... it's going to be okay. You're safe now. I promise."