Chapter 4: The Ubiquity Impossibility

Summary: Being a supportive bestie and a wonderful girlfriend is not easy. Especially when one has to be both at the same time.

A/N: First of all, I am terribly sorry for the delayed update. I moved this month and have been working 14-hour days, so that set me back greatly on my writing schedule. But, on a positive note, this chapter is even longer than the last *and* I am possibly going to update next week instead of two weeks time. So you might get two doses of TPSO in a very short period of time.

Thanks a lot to my good buddy Lio for helping me get over the writers block I had halfway through this chapter.

No particular Easter Eggs to find in this one, except for some fun with numbers.

As always, I don't own anything. If I did, you would hear none of that paradox crap at Comic Con.

"Ow. Ouch! Owww!"

"What?" Penny pants, disheveled and breathless, as she raises her head from the crook of his neck, where her mouth had been keeping busy.

"Something is poking me…" Leonard shuffles his body under his girlfriend's and reaches a hand behind his back, digging around in the couch cushions.

A few moments later, he presents the offending object to Penny.

"Must have gotten lost last time we played D&D…" Penny grabs the dice out of Leonard's hand and hastily tosses it across the room, pouncing on him again. "Have I told you…" she says in between kisses "how much… I… missed you?"

"In the last week? About… fifteen… times… a day… yes…" Leonard smiles in between kisses, wrapping his arms back around her.

"Oh good Lord, here we go again…"

The sound of keys dropping into the bowl interrupts their amorous activities, and they both sheepishly turn to look at the front door.

"You guys are back already?" Leonard tries not to sound too disappointed.

"Yes." Sheldon drops his bag in his chair as Amy makes her way to the fridge. "It seems like every single school in Pasadena has decided to take their obnoxious students to the opening of this exhibition tonight." He shudders.

"As used as I am to being around temperamental primates, I have to admit the visitors to that museum tonight were too much even for me." Amy adds, passing a drink to Sheldon.

Sheldon takes the bottle from Amy and turns around to the other couple, still half-sprawled across the couch.

He puts his hands on his hips. "You're in our spots."

Leonard rolls his eyes and goes to get up. "Sorry Shel…" he stops. "Wait… OUR spots?"

"Yes."

"Since when does Amy have a spot?" Leonard looks up at Sheldon, now hovering in front of him, ready to reclaim his seat.

"Since June 23rd." he puts his hands on his hip. "Seriously, Leonard. Roommate agreement updates. You still haven't read them?"

Leonard shoots a glance at Penny, straightening his clothes and glasses. As she moves to get out of 'Amy's spot', the blonde leans in to whisper in his ear. "I told you…"

"What?!" Leonard chuckled out loud, and his image froze on the screen for few seconds or so.

Penny frowned, for the fifth time that evening, waiting for the video to stop buffering.

"Yes, I'm telling you. They're practically living together these days." She explained, once the connection reestablished itself. "But, for the love of God, don't mention it to Sheldon, if you speak to him. I don't think they've even noticed and you don't want to cause a freak out."

Leonard shook his head, which jittered across four freeze-frames, before settling again. "Don't wor… won't". He reassured her. "But at least… takes work… your hands!"

Penny sighed at the disconnected sentences, but she had thankfully gotten fairly apt at deciphering them during the past few months. "Yeah, it's definitely getting easier on me. Finally!" she looked down at her keyboard and picked a crumb off of it. "I definitely relate to Raj a lot more now, though. Playing third wheel gets pretty old, pretty fast."

"Well, don't relate to him too much… don't want you… needing alcohol… talk to men now that he…. need it!" Leonard's laugh turned into a frown as he watched a blurry Penny suddenly recoil and take the headphones off her head.

Penny rubbed her ears, wincing, and gingerly put them back on her head. "Hello?"

"Yes?"

"Sorry, static noise. Nearly pierced my ears." She shook her head, dismally. "The connection keeps getting worse. We should probably call it a night. Or morning, in my case." She attempted a smile.

Leonard's gaze softened. "You ok?"

Penny nodded. A bit too vigorously. "Yes." Then she let out another sigh, and her expression clouded slightly again. "I just… miss you."

*Knock knock knock* "Penny?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny?"

Penny rolled her eyes and shouted: "Just a minute, Sh…" she then stopped and frowned. "Amy?"

Leonard laughed out loud. "Ok, you gotta give it to her for having a sense of humor."

Penny pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, half smiling. "I have to go…"

"Bye, Penny. I love you."

Penny smiled another tight smile, swallowing. "I love you, too."

She went to close the screen.

"Hey?" Leonard stopped her. He looked at her worryingly, but tried to sound reassuring. "Less than 4 weeks to go!"

Penny inhaled deeply and nodded. "Goodnight, Leonard."

She closed the call and got up from her kitchen table to walk to the front door.

As expected, Amy stood on the other side with a cheerful grin on her face. "Good morning, bestie!"

Her grin quickly faded when she saw her friend's rather unhappy expression. "Is everything ok?"

Penny attempted a smile. "Yeah, everything is…" she stopped, took a breath and her voice trembled lightly. "… fine."

Amy regarded her with an unconvinced look. "Are you sure?"

Penny waved her hand at her. "Yeah!"

But it only took one look at Amy's concerned face, and she sniffed, and cracked.

"I don't understand! I'vebeenawayafromhimallsummerbeforebut…this feelsdifferent… and… and…" Penny started waving her hands in the air in a frenzy, speaking so fast Amy could barely understand what she was saying.

Taken aback by the sudden outburst, Amy reached out a hand to awkwardly pat her on her shoulder.

"There, there…" she cooed, as Penny wiped her face furiously. "It's ok…"

Another look at Amy, and Penny's lips started trembling. "Why… why do I feel like this? I shouldn't be feeling this lonely."

"It is perfectly understandable." Amy calmly explained. "Leonard's absence has left a hole in your daily life that cannot be filled by any member of our social group in quite the same way or with quite the same frequency. A loving, lively and sociable person like you, spending all those empty, solitary hours alone, is bound to feel miserable."

Seeing that Penny didn't seem any more reassured, but was in fact more on the verge of tears than ever before, Amy tried a different tactic: advice. "Unless you can find a temporary substitute elsewhere."

She paused for a moment, considering her own suggestion, then sternly waved her finger at her now puzzled best friend. "And that is a bad idea, Penny! You will not do that! I will not let you do that!"

Penny stared at her for another second, speechless, before she helplessly started crying. "Why are you saying these things to me?! You know I would never do that!"

"Oh, I know! I know!" Amy enveloped her in a clumsy hug. "I'm sorry!"

Just then, the door to 4A opened behind them.

"Oh! There you…" Sheldon stopped, his expression changing to discomfort at the sight of the weeping female in front of him. "Oh, dear…"

He started fidgeting in the doorway. "Good morning, Penny."

Penny barely acknowledged him with a quick succession of nods against Amy's shoulder.

Sheldon looked at his girlfriend. "Why is she weepy?"

"She's feeling lonely…" Amy explained.

"Lonely? How can she possibly feel lonely? She is constantly in our presence." Sheldon replied, bewildered.

Amy gave him an angry look. "Sheldon! Don't say that! That is not helpful!"

"But it's true!"

"Sheldon! I'm trying to help here!"

Sheldon threw his arms in the air, pivoted on his heels and walked back into the apartment, leaving the door wide open.

"He can be so indelicate!" Amy scorned, shaking her head.

Penny snorted at the irony, and her breathing slowed down. "Can we watch a movie tonight? Help me get my mind off things?" She asked, as she slowly disentangled herself from Amy.

"Well, it's the third Thursday of the month…"

"Right… right… Date Night, you're right." Penny acknowledged, apologetically.

Amy nodded. "Yeah."

"You have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend is right here…" Penny sniffled again. "You can see him every day. You go on dates… You… you spend evenings with him…." her voice started cracking once more.

Amy panicked and searched her brain for a solution, eager to prevent any more crying. "Maybe… mmm… maybe we can do something after Sheldon and I get back?" she asked.

They heard a throat clearing behind them and turned to find Sheldon standing there, a hot mug in his hands.

"There you go." He presented the warm beverage to Penny, who took it with a teary, but touched, smile.

"Thank you, Sheldon." She sniffed once more, taking a sip of the drink.

Amy smiled up at her boyfriend, pleased with his caring gesture.

"You're welcome." He nodded. "Now that the weeping has stopped, I am going to be running late. Which one of you is taking me to work?"

The smile on Amy's face turned into a roll of her eyes. "Sheldon! She is distressed, can you be less self-centered for a minute?"

"Oh, it's ok, Amy. He's right, we're all going to be late for work." Penny interrupted her, sounding a bit calmer. "I will see you tonight, anyway. We can have some good girl-bonding time."

"Tonight?" Sheldon looked taken aback. "Amy can't see you tonight."

"I told her I'd stop by after we come back from our date". Amy explained.

Sheldon stared at her, disbelief evident across his face.

"But Aim-eee!" The way he pronounced her name when he wanted to convince her of something always elicited in Amy a reaction between annoyance, tenderness and desire.

So she closed her eyes as he continued. "It's our Date Night tonight!" he insisted, emphasizing 'Date Night'.

"Yes, and we are going to go on our Date Night. Like I said, I'll go be with Penny after our date."

"But Amy!" He whined like a stubborn child. "We have that thing tonight."

"I said I am not cancelling Date Night, Shel…"

"Amy!"

She observed her boyfriend as he bobbed his head twice, slightly leaning in her direction, eyes asking a question beyond the words. "We have *that* thing after the date tonight."

"Wha… Oh… Oh!" Amy finally caught onto what he was trying to convey, and she became suddenly extremely conflicted herself.

Staring confusedly at the pair, Penny interjected. "Oh, you don't need to, Amy. Really. I don't want to ruin your evening plans…"

"Indeed." Sheldon nodded.

"I'll be… fine…" she started crumbled again. "I'm getting used to… being alone… really." She wiped at her eye.

Amy looked at her friend with mild aggravation now, wondering what had suddenly gotten into her to be so dramatic. She then turned to look at her boyfriend, who was standing there, hands on his hips and head leaning forward in an expectant manner at her.

She sighed, and swallowed hard, making her decision. "We… we're just going to have to…" she looked at the ceiling, to avoid looking at his eyes. She needed to be resolute. And be a good friend. "We will have to cancel that thing, this time."

Amy exhaled, feeling a little deflated and suddenly wanting to curse her blonde bestie for having emotional breakdowns at inappropriate times.

But Sheldon wasn't done whining.

"So we are just going to throw a new schedule in the wind a less than 3 months after implementing it?" He asked, accusingly.

"We are not throwing the whole schedule to the wind…" Amy brought a head to her temple, feeling a headache coming on. "It's just one time."

"Sure, have no concern for the disruption to my schedule and routine!"

Sheldon's increasingly high-pitched voice suddenly transformed her frustration into anger.

"Your routine?" she narrowed her eyes at him.

Sheldon looked as if flinching back at her angry tone, but it only lasted for a millisecond. With a barely perceptible bob of his Adam's apple, he straightened his shoulders to make himself look taller and delivered his final statement. "You know, maybe we should just cancel Date Night altogether, since we are living in total chaos now!"

Amy's patience was finally depleted, and the scales of duty in her head suddenly tilted massively in Penny's favor. "Oh, yeah? Well, maybe we should!"

And with that, Amy took a step back into Penny's apartment and slammed the door in a stunned Sheldon's face.

"Did you just cancel your Date Night?"

Penny finally spoke, breaking the silence she was stunned into by the argument she had just witnessed.

Amy hadn't realized she had been breathing heavily until Penny's voice reached her ears. She shivered as the adrenaline left her body and doubt, mixed with guilt, started creeping in. "I… I don't know…"

Penny rose on tiptoes to look through the peephole. A distorted version of Sheldon's face was still staring open mouthed at the door. He raised a hand to knock, looked to one side, than to the other, pursed his lips and lowered his hand back down.

She watched as he meekly made his way back into his apartment and slammed the door.

"I just…" Amy was stumped for a second. "I'm not sure what the protocol is right now. We never canceled anything without the … 48-hour notice."

Penny turned back to her. "The protocol?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow.

Amy kept rambling on. "Am I meant to go anyway? I cannot just not show up; it's after the 48-hour notice period." She paused. "But I shouldn't show up either, he's being ridiculous."

"Why was he so upset over this? I thought you said that lately he had started making all sorts of excuses to get out of Date Nights?"

"Oh, no… Well… Umm…" Amy stammered, looking everywhere but at her.

Penny narrowed her eyes, watching as Amy started breathing heavily again and her face changed three shades of crimson. "Amy?"

"He has… stopped complaining." Amy nodded vigorously. "We have decided no more fancy restaurants and formal attire, so he is much… happier… with our current Date Nights." She blinked very fast.

But Penny wasn't letting the bone go. "Really? That's all it took?" she crossed her arms and walked up closer to the smaller woman, making her back up anxiously against the door. "What's the thing you had on tonight after your date?"

"Oh… that?" Amy asked, trying to buy time and blushing even more.

"Yeah. That…" Penny prodded.

"Oh. Well… We were… Ummm… we were planning to go dancing. Yes." Amy nodded some more, pleased with her own answer.

"Dancing? You and Sheldon?"

"Yes. You know… that… dance soiree we went to years ago with you and Bernadette?"

"Uh, uh…"

"We were going there. To have a lesson. Yes."

Penny shook her head at her friend's inability to lie under pressure, but given the glistening of perspiration that was starting to break through Amy's forehead, decided to let it go. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you guys are having sex."

They both were jolted by a knock on the door.

*Knock knock knock* "Penny and Amy?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny and Amy?"

*Knock knock knock* "Penny and Amy?"

The two looked at one another, and Penny shrugged. "Well… one of us has to take him to work…"

"Damn it, you're right." Amy looked at the floor, dejected. She then took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders out. "I'll take him. I need to sort out my evening, after all."

Amy stopped the car outside 2311 Los Robles, bringing the silent ride back from the ice cream parlor to an end.

When she had discovered the place on her drive back from work the previous week, she had thought the giant, elaborate bowls of delicious gelato, large enough to count as a main course, would be a perfect option for dinner in the middle of a heat wave. Sheldon, unsurprisingly, had thought otherwise, commenting on how having ice cream for dinner was just as absurd a notion as brunch; a meal designed for people who don't know how to plan their days properly.

So Amy had been very surprised when, during their ride to Caltech that morning, Sheldon had himself suggested to have ice cream for dinner on their Date Night. She presumed it was his way of extending an olive branch over the awkward confrontation at Penny's door. And she didn't know whether to be more shocked about the fact that he conceded to have dessert for dinner or the fact that he had sought to make amends on his own.

A sudden burst of lightning made them both look up through windshield at the darkening sky. They sat staring at the clouds until thunder loudly broke the silence. They each mumbled a few words to themselves for a few seconds, before turning to each other.

"According to my calculations, I estimate we are approximately 5.8 miles away from the center of the storm." Sheldon stated, confidently. "You should therefore have plenty of time to safely drive home."

"And I think you're incorrect." Amy challenged him, turning off the engine. "Accounting for humidity as well as temperature, we should be about 6.7 miles away. But, considering that the delay between lighting and thunder in the last 20 minutes has decreased from 24 to 21 seconds, the storm is actually coming our way." She reached in the backseat for her purse. "In any case; I will be just fine, since I am going to Penny's."

"Right… Penny." Sheldon's expression clouded over and he nodded curtly, getting out of the car with a huff.

With a quick, annoyed look at his back, Amy followed.

Silence descended upon them again, as the couple made their way into the building. One more burst of lighting broke through the sky as they walked into the lobby, and they stopped their silent ascent on the stairs at the sound of further thunder. The two looked at the ceiling, before resuming their climb and blurting out at the same time:

"Approaching."

"Retreating."

They stopped again and stared at each other upon reaching the landing between 4A and 4B.

Despite her attempt to hide it, Sheldon didn't fail to notice that Amy had instinctively started following him toward his door, before stopping herself and taking a couple of awkward steps back.

He stared at her.

She cleared her throat.

Nobody moved. Nobody spoke.

Amy pointed over her shoulder at the door behind her, the keys in her hand jiggling in the silence. "I… I am going to go."

Sheldon just nodded, expressionless.

Amy looked down at an indefinite spot on the wall to the left of his leg, and, just as she turned to walk over to 4B, she heard him say her name and take a step closer. "Amy?"

She turned again to find him awfully close up, and her heart rate increased just a little. "Yes?"

"Seeing as my schedule for the night has been… altered…" he swallowed, as he searched for the right words. "I am going to be doing some work."

Amy frowned, confused as to why he was telling her this. "Ok…"

"If you…" Sheldon stopped, looking at the door behind her instead of her. His voice took on an uncharacteristic warm tone. "Send me a text before you go home, I might still be awake." With that, he bashfully looked back down at her, and she went weak in the knees a little.

Before her giddy brain could catch up with the meaning behind his request, the adrenaline in her system forced the first thing that popped into her head to come out of her. "I am probably going to be much later than your bedtime."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she instantly wanted to shove them right back in, while she observed Sheldon's look turn gloomy and his body retreat from hers.

"No, no, no! What the hell did I just do?" She mentally slapped herself again and again and suddenly felt cold, as if the extra inches separating their bodies were enough to cause a sudden drop in shared body heat.

"Never mind." Sheldon looked at the floor again.

He stole one last glance at her, and she saw that look in his eyes that she was sure to have sported herself dozens of times before.

Rejected.

"You have a good night with Penny. Send her my regards."

And with that, he disappeared into his apartment.

"My apologies." Leonard says sarcastically, as he stands on his feet and ceremoniously waves his hands at Sheldon and Amy's spots, motioning for them to sit. "Please."

Sheldon is quick to reclaim his spot and pick up the tv remote, and Amy makes a detour around the coffee table to reach hers.

As he makes his way to his desk, Leonard spots her stumbling slightly as she steps on something on the floor. She quickly bends over to pick it up and, in the blink of an eye, she is sitting next to Sheldon, looking slightly flustered.

As he waits for his laptop to boot, Leonard turns his head slightly to look at the pair.

He observes as Amy nudges Sheldon's knee lightly with her own, distracting his roommate from the television. Sheldon brings his eyes to the closed fist she's presenting him with, and, as his gaze sets on her hand, her grip releases and the D&D die appears in her palm.

They awkwardly stare at each other, seemingly embarrassed, for a couple of seconds. Then, eyes still linked, Sheldon slowly reaches out to shyly grab the die. But as soon as it's transferred to his hand, the shyness is gone and he shoves it in his pocket in one quick motion.

Shifting uncomfortably in his spot, Sheldon's eyes dart to Leonard, as if to ensure their exchange has gone unnoticed.

It hasn't.

Curses.

"That reminds me… " Leonard speaks. "You're up as Dungeon Master next month, Sheldon. I'm too swamped with finishing up this project right now to think of that. And Howard said he and Bernadette want to prepare a joint one next time but she's too busy to do that now. So it's on you."

"What?" Sheldon replies, in a high-pitched voice. "What reminded you of that, of all things?!"

Leonard frowns. "The die? The one we found in the couch and Amy just picked up from the floor?"

"Oh. That."

"Yes. That." Leonard's confused frown deepens.

As Penny makes her way back from the kitchen, she stops by Leonard's chair and rests her hands on his shoulders, massaging them. "Well, you guys have fun… you can count me out this time."

Leonard's puppy-dog eyes are immediately trained on her. "Please, Penny! Everyone is playing now! You really want to be the odd one out?"

Penny shakes her head in apparent disbelief. "Oh my God. If only I could tell 20-year-old me that I'll one day be the odd one out because I don't want to play fantasy role play games..." She looks down at him with a grin on her face.

Leonard smiles back. "By the way…" he looks back over at the couple on the couch. "What is up with all the dice around the place? I found one in the spare razorblades drawer the other morning."

Just when Leonard thought it wasn't physiologically possible, the two blush even more and Amy chokes on her water.

At that, Sheldon suddenly jumps up from the couch, grabbing Amy by her arms and lifting her up from her seat like she's a sack of potatoes. "Amy's late! She has to go! I'll walk her to her car!"

Leonard and Penny exchange a puzzled look as they watch him push his girlfriend out of the apartment amidst her protests. "Sheldon! My purse!"

Sheldon lets her go long enough for her to go back to the couch and pick up her bag, but Amy then shuffles across just as quickly to the door, avoiding the eyes of Leonard and Penny.

She turns to Sheldon at the door. "You don't need to walk me to my car, I'll be fine. I'll see you tomorrow for Date Night."

In that moment, the pieces all come together in Penny's head and she meets Amy's eyes in the doorway, mouth agape. "THAT thing!" She exclaims.

"What thing?" Leonard turns around, now more confused than ever.

Amy panics and slams the door shut.

Immediately, Sheldon rushes to the back of the apartment and to his bedroom. "Goodnight!"

"Oh my God!" Penny runs to the front door, and, without saying goodbye, she runs down the stairs, chasing after Amy.

In less than a minute, Leonard is left sitting, alone, in the middle of the empty living room.

"Well… Goodnight, everybody."

A/N: Aaaaand, that's it for this one. I didn't get this chapter beta-ed since I finished it last minute and I was really eager to put something up, so if you notice any typos/grammar errors that I didn't spot, I apologize.

I'll hopefully update again next week, but don't quote me on it.

*jingle*