Space Cropper's AU - Effra Casts the Spell…

Unraveling the Aftermath…

Part 4

When Maureen and John returned from storing the equipment, Don had retreated to the lavatory for a shower and Judy sat in the galley, solemn and dispirited. John joined her as Maureen boiled water for tea. She noticed that Judy's pendant now hung freely around her neck for all to see. "How is he?" John asked.

Judy reached up to touch her pendant as if to be sure it still existed. "I don't know, Dad. He hasn't said much. He hugged me and said that he needed to take a shower. I'm worried about him."

Maureen poured three cups of tea and sat across from Judy. She reached out and covered Judy's hand with her own. "It must have been a traumatic experience for both of you, Judy. I'm sure it will take some time to get over it," she commented.

Judy sipped at her mug. "I understand that, mom. What I don't understand is why he hasn't talked to me."

"He hasn't talked to any of us, Judy. He's probably still trying to figure things out for himself," John replied.

"This isn't something he's going to figure out on his own, Dad. I don't know what's going through his head, but I'm sure he's blaming himself for everything."

That's exactly what was happening. As Don showered it seemed that no amount of scrubbing could rid him of the real and imagined filth that covered his body. In reality he had been assaulted, but he accused himself of subconsciously inviting Effra's interest. He tortured himself by reliving every encounter he had had with her, wondering what small movement he had made or what he had said that had convinced her she needed to have him. Lastly, he wondered how he could have let himself get mesmerized by her spell… and betray Judy.

He knew water was in short supply and he couldn't justify standing under its stream any longer. He turned it off and slid down to the floor, hugging his knees to his body and letting the tears flow. He bowed his head as he thought about facing Judy again. He hadn't even thanked her for saving him. Somewhere in the back of his mind lay the realization that the real problem was that he couldn't face himself. To make matters worse, he felt that a piece of Effra was still with him. He couldn't shake her claim that he needed to lay his seed…

Don stood with his hand on the door latch. He had to face everyone sooner or later, and he doubted that Judy would go to bed without seeing him. He walked out of the lavatory and found the three of them sitting at the galley table having their tea. Maureen arose immediately and busied herself with making him a cup and John invited him to join them. He supposed he couldn't get away with ignoring them, so he sat next to Judy and accepted their company, though all he wanted was to be alone.

Maureen brought his mug to the table and he thanked her. "Well, Don. I'm glad you and Judy are both safe." He nodded without replying and sipped from his mug, but it was too hot to hide behind. He'd have to say something. He just wasn't sure he could talk without his voice breaking… and he still couldn't look Judy in the eye.

"Don, I know you're exhausted, so try to get a good night's sleep. Things should look better to you in the morning," John stated. He turned to Maureen and said. "Well, darling, we should retire. It's been a long day for all of us." He and Maureen moved to leave, but Don stopped them.

"Wait," he croaked and cleared his throat. "What do… what do Penny and Will know?"

"Nothing, Don. They slept through the entire thing, so don't worry about having to explain anything to them," Maureen said. "And Judy, you need your sleep too, dear."

She nodded and said, "Good-night," to her parents. Judy thought the tension would leave the room with her parents, but, if anything, it multiplied. She wanted to help him but had no idea what to do. "Don… did I do something wrong?" she finally asked him.

He shook his head…

"Then why won't you look at me?" she asked.

"I… I'm sorry… I'm just… sorry…" He really didn't know what else to say.

She wrapped her arm around his and whispered, "It's not your fault."

His eyes watered and his voice left him. He wanted to tell her that he was weak and didn't deserve her love, or that she should run the other way… but he said nothing. She put her head on his shoulder and said, "It's ok."

'But it's not ok… and I'm not sure anything will ever be ok again,' he thought… but he said nothing.

"What can I do to help you, Don?"

He wanted to say that she had already done more than enough… that he was sure he would have lost his mind if she hadn't been there to break the spell… but he said… "Nothing."

Judy felt as if he had slapped her. She would do anything he asked to help relieve his angst. She would even… but he didn't want her… not now… Would he ever want her again she wondered? She pulled from her reserve strength and answered, "All right. I'll leave you alone, then." She stood and put her cup in the dishwasher. She watched him for a moment as he stared into his mug and then brushed his shoulder as she walked by. "Good-night, Don."

He leaned his head on his hand. 'She doesn't deserve this,' he thought, but he couldn't bring himself to go after her.

Sleep was elusive. He'd close his eyes and feel Effra's skin against his and cringed when he found his body responding. He sat up in a cold sweat. He couldn't stand lying on his bunk in the small cabin of his room. He had to get out. He threw on his clothes and scaled the ladder to the upper deck. He dropped into his pilot's seat and stared out the window. The full moons were setting and the sun had yet to rise. He had an irresistible urge to destroy the leopard couch that he had lain upon just hours earlier. He strode into the storage room and found the large flame gun that they would have used to burn the plants if the gas guns hadn't worked.

No one, except the children and Dr. Smith slept soundly that night. As quiet as he tried to be, Maureen, John, and Judy heard Don rummaging in the storage room and left their cabins soon after he ran out of the ship. "Where could he be going, Dad?" Judy asked.

"I think I know," John answered. "Stay here with your mother. I'll follow him."

Maureen hugged Judy and said, "I'm sure he'll be all right."

"No, Mom," Judy quietly replied, "he won't. He's hurting so much… but he won't let me help him." Tears streamed down her cheeks and she didn't bother to wipe them away.

Maureen led Judy to Don's pilot chair and she took the co-pilot's chair. She leaned forward and in her best 'mother' voice said, "Judy, listen to me. You can't fall apart now. You've said that he's blaming himself for everything that's happened, and you're probably right."

"But, Mother, I told him it wasn't his fault."

"Did he believe you?"

Judy stared at her mother a moment and answered, "I… I don't know. He didn't say anything."

"Don's been trained to believe that he could handle any problem situation, but tonight was one he didn't train for. Ironically, he might be able to handle this better if he was a woman."

"What?"

"He was sexually assaulted, Judy. That's not supposed to happen to men."

"And if he thinks it was his fault… that's why he can't face me. He thinks he was unfaithful…"

Maureen nodded. 'That's a pretty good guess."

"But what can I do to help him?"

"I wish I knew… the only thing I'm sure of is that you're the only one who can help him truly get past this, and you need to be there and be strong for him… when he's ready."

John hurried down the path after Don, but hung back when he came to the clearing that housed the leopard sofa. Don approached the couch and stood perfectly still, staring at it for almost two full minutes. Then he hoisted the gun and aimed it at the sofa, triggering the flaming mechanism for much longer than needed. Don lowered the gun and he pulled his necklace out of his shirt and held onto it as the flames rose and swirled higher and higher. The heat was intense and the fire burned fast and furious until there was nothing left but a plume of black smoke and pile of glowing ashes.

John called Don's name as he walked up to him, but he didn't move. "Did you exorcise the demons?" John asked.

Don shrugged. "I just couldn't stand the thought of this thing lying here, like it was waiting for me to come back to it…"

"Feel better?"

"… No."

This was one of those times when John wasn't sure if he would be able to balance his roles of 'friend' to Don and 'father' to Judy. John crossed his arms, "Look, Don, I know you're hurting… but so is Judy. All she wants to do is help you."

An unreasonable anger well up inside Don and he faced John, "Well I wish she wouldn't! I wish she'd hit me or slap me or at least tell me to 'go to hell!'"

"What good would that do?"

"Then I'd get what I deserve."

"Don… you couldn't help yourself… you were under Effra's control."

"But I shouldn't have been! Do you know how close I came to…" He couldn't finish the sentence.

"But you didn't! A lesser man wouldn't have been able to control himself… And it was Judy's love that saved you!"

Don turned and walked towards the dead garden. He knew that… and as thankful as he was… that was part of the problem.

"You owe her, Don. Regardless of how you feel about yourself, you owe her," John stated.

Don nodded. He knew he couldn't keep running away from her… and John wouldn't let him. "I don't know what to say to her."

John took a few steps closer so he could see Don's face. "Do you still love her?"

"More than ever," Don whispered.

"Then it sounds to me like you do have something to say to her."

Neither one noticed that the plants, though dead above the ground, were beginning to push through the sand once again.

To be continued...