Disclaimer: Death Note was created by Tsugumi Obha and Takeshi Obata. Alice in Wonderland belongs to Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll. Neither belongs to me because if they did, this would be the real story.

Mello in Wonderland

Chapter Four: A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale

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There was a strange party that had assembled on the beach. All the birds and animals had their fur and feathers clinging to them. They all looked upset and uncomfortable. There was a lorry named Kyosuke Higuchi, a dodo named Takeshi Ooi, a giraffe named Arayoshi Hatori, a duck named Shingo Mido, a hippo named Eiichi Takahashi, an owl named Suguru Shimura, and a lobster named Masahiko Kida along with Namikawa the Mouse and Mello himself.

The main question was how to get dry again. A conversation started up among all the animals. After a few minutes, Mello found himself talking to them like he had known them all his life. He had a long argument with Higuchi the Lorry and it ended with Higuchi saying that he was right because he was older. Mello did not allow this and started to scream and yell because Higuchi would not tell his age. After a while, Mello got bored and the matter was dropped because nothing else needed to be said.

Namikawa, who looked like he had some authority among them, ordered all of them to sit down. "I'll make you dry soon enough." They sat in a ring around Namikawa.

"Ahem! This is the driest thing I know so can everyone please be quiet," said Namikawa, clearing his throat. He started rambling about something about the ways of economy and how the world's companies were faring. Mello quickly got bored and started to nod off. It defiantly was the driest thing ever!

Mello woke with a start when Higuchi the Lorry mumbled an "Ugh!" from right next to him.

"Excuse me," asked Namikawa, frowning. "Did you say something?"

"No! I didn't!" replied the Lorry in haste.

"I was almost positive you had," said the Mouse with another frown. With that, he continued on with his very boring story. After a while, Namikawa turned to Mello and asked, "How are you feeling, Miss?"

"Still wet and I am a boy. Not a girl. The next time you say something like that, I'll be digging your graves! Got it?" yelled Mello, jabbing a finger in Namikawa's direction.

"Well, than, why are you wearing a dress?" asked Higuchi with a chuckle.

"I have no idea. I woke up and I was suddenly wearing it. I would take it off, but I have nothing else to wear and I'm not going around naked. Who knows how many perverts there are running around who are desperate to get in your pants? It doesn't matter, anyway. I don't understand where I am and everything is so weird."

"In any case, I say that this meeting is adjourned. Now, how about we try a caucus-race?" suggested Ooi the Dodo.

"What's a caucus-race?" asked Mello. He was embarrassed to asked because it made him feel stupid. He just hoped that Near didn't know what a caucus-race was either.

"Why, it's better to experience it yourself than have someone explain it!" said Ooi. He drew a circle in the dirt and told everyone to stand along the course. They were told to just start running. They started running however they liked and left off how they liked so it was hard to tell when the race was over. After half and hour, Mello felt he was about to die. He never really cared about gym and he barley ever exercised. He greatly regretted that while running the caucus-race. Soon, Ooi called out that the race was over and Mello collapsed onto the sand, panting hard.

"Who has won?" asked Mido the Duck.

Ooi could not answer the question without a bit of a thought. He stood there in a thinking position for a while. At last, he said, "Everyone has won and all must have prizes!"

"But who is to give out the prizes?" asked Hatori the giraffe.

"She is, of course," said Ooi, pointing at Mello.

"I'M A BOY!" yelled Mello.

"All right. All right. He is to give out the prizes," said Ooi.

Mello didn't know what to do so he reached into the pocket of the dress. He found a box of chocolate, and, hoping to find other things, he looked around some more to only find a thimble. He wondered how that had gotten in there, but it didn't really matter to him at that moment. In defeat, he pulled out the chocolate box and handed the chocolates around to everyone. There was none that were left over to him and that made him very sad.

"But she…I mean, he…must have a prize her…I mean, himself, you know," said Namikawa.

"Of course," said Ooi, "What else do you have in your pocket?"

"Only this," said Mello, pulling out the thimble.

"Give it to me," ordered Ooi.

All the animals gathered around them as Ooi presented the thimble. Mello thought it was hilarious and pathetic what they were doing, but he decided to try his best not to laugh. He took the thimble, trying to look as thankful as possible while promising himself that he would throw it in a forest or maybe a lake once he was away from the animals.

The next thing that happened was all the animals started to eat the chocolate. This cause a bit of a problem as some of the little birds had started to choke on theirs. However, when it was all over, the animals sat down in a ring and begged Namikawa to tell them another story.

"You promised to tell me why you hate cats and dogs," said Mello, wondering why he even cared.

"It's a long and sad tale," said Namikawa and proceeded with the story. Mello didn't pay much attention to the story and the whole thing came out as a bunch of nonsense to him.

"Excuse me, but why are you not listening?" asked Namikawa about half way into the story.

"Um…I was! I was!" countered Mello.

"I saw you spacing off!" yelled the Mouse. "That is very rude, especially since you had been the one to ask me about my history."

"Um…Mr. Namikawa, sir. You have a big knot in your tail. Let me untie it!" pleaded Mello, again wondering why he would want to do something like that.

"No! You shall not! You insult me by talking such nonsense!" yelled the Mouse.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! There is something clearly wrong with me today!" apologized Mello. The mouse just stood up with a growl and started walking away.

"Please come back and finish your story!" begged the other animals, but the mouse didn't reply.

"What a pity he didn't stay!" said Higuchi once Namikawa was out of hearing range.

"Hmm…I wish there was a cat here! A cat would fetch Mr. Namikawa and bring him back," said Mello, wondering what it was with him and cats today.

"CATS!" roared the animals. They all ran away into the woods and the skies. Mido the Duck ran to the water saying, "It is getting quite late! I must be going now!"

Mello wondered why he had even brought up cats. He knew perfectly well that birds and mice hated cats. So why had he? Being all alone, Mello curled up under a tree, lonely as ever. He felt terrible. Why, he didn't know. He usually never felt terrible over something like that. Mello heard the little pitter-pattering of footsteps in the distance and he looked up, half hoping that the mouse or maybe some of the other animals had come back.

TO BE CONTINUED…

A/N: Is this story confusing to anyone? Because if it is, I'm doing me job!

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