It's been forever since I updated. My laptop broke unfortunately but I finished this on my dad's. So updates are gonna be slow from now on because of school and my laptop getting fixed.

Btw...I don't own California King Bed and if I did then I would be Rihanna...too bad I'm not!

I'll face myself

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself

And let go of what I've done

-What I've Done, Linkin Park

xXx

One month of sitting on my ass. A month of thinking my life through. A month of getting older; wiser, as each day passes me by. A month of confusion. A month of trying to figure out my feelings for Judai. A month of acceptance. And a month of wondering.

Just the other day, I found out Judai got married to Asuka. I cried myself to sleep just because. I didn't quite understand what it meant to lose something until that event occurred. And damn did it hurt.

I love you.

These three little words can mean so much than meets the eye. I tried coming up with some scenarios to solve why he had said that to me and why I wanted to say it back. I considered he was just kidding, but my heart said he was serious.

I flung myself on my bed. Gods, why did I feel so weird? Like, something was going to happen to me. I sighed and sat up on my forearms. My window was wide open. I got up to shut the curtain but saw something that caught my interest.

Edo was standing outside with some older gentleman. I paid close attention to their body language. I could see Edo smiling suggestively at him and I watched the two walk inside together. I thought it was weird to have a guest at this time of night. Then I heard a door slam outside in the hall.

I slid my slippers on and grabbed a black robe before snooping around to see what Edo was up to. I moved swiftly in the dark hall all the way to Edo's door. I pressed my ear to the door to see if I could hear anything. I heard muffled giggles.

My curiosity got the better of me like it normally did. So I cracked the door opened as quietly as I could. I could see bodies on the large bed. I could see Edo was naked and the other guy was half way there. I shut the door to give them their privacy.

I stood outside the door shaking. I was being cheated on. The thing about it was that I wasn't even upset by it. I was relived by it somewhat. I ventured back to my room and paused by the door. My body started trembling again. I collapsed to the ground, my body convulsing.

Then it just stopped. I climbed back to my feet and entered the room. I stared at myself in the mirror and took a step back at my appearance. My eyes were blood-red and my hair seemed to grow an inch to brush my shoulders. My attire surprised me more. A black jacket with a white shirt under it but it was cut so my stomach was showing. Tight black jeans hugged my butt and black boots to match. I even had black and teal gloves on my hands.

I was pissed that my lance no longer worked, but my transformation had added a sword in my possession now. I removed it from its sheath and stared at it in wonder. It looked like my lance. I put the sword back before removing myself from the room. I traveled down the hall to only be stopped by Vincent.

"Where are you going?" he questioned me. I stared at him blankly. He sighed and side-stepped. "Make sure you visit." I hugged him briefly and walked away. I stopped in front of Edo's door and stuck a small bomb there. How I got the bomb, don't ask.

I smiled at my work and decided it would be in my best interest to leave this country. I walked far enough from the castle not looking back. I had a feeling that I was back into the assassins ways once again. I smirked and snapped my fingers to hear the loud 'Kaboom!' coming from that castle.

Goodbye Edo and strange man.

I was officially back on the run once again.

xXx

In the past three weeks, I hadn't really stopped in one town for too long. I continued my killing spree since I had nothing better to do. The half-wing on my face burned every time I did take another's life. I couldn't help myself though. This was too much fun.

I was in a bar, drinking away my recent killing of a young woman. I set the cup down and stared over at the bartender. He was looking at me funny. Well, time to go. I put the rest of the money I had down on the counter and made my way out.

I was moving down the dirt road as fast as I could. A boy no more than fourteen stopped me. "Hey, aren't you the guy that had killed King Edo?

Shit. Cover blown. I pushed the brunnette boy into the nearest alley and withdrew my weapon. "Say goodbye kid."

"Kazuki! Where did you go? Kazuki?" I heard a little girl calling. I looked at the boy who looked to his left. A little girl with long, blond hair appeared with bread in her tiny hands. "Look big brother! I found some bread."

Kazuki smiled at is little sister and opened his arms for her. "Good job."

The little girl glanced at me, her bright blue eyes sparkling at me. She came over to me and raised her arms to me. "You'll pick me up?" she asked innocently. I nodded and lifted her into my arms. "My name is Chou. That's my big brother, Kazuki. Are you Johan?" I nodded to answer her question. "We've been looking for you. You'll take us with you? I mean, we're orphans and we don't have no where to go."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can. I almost killed your brother here. I'm sure he wouldn't want to put you in jeopardy," I tried to reason with her.

"That's okay. I know you had a good reason for it," Kazuki stated. "As long as you don't do it again."

I sighed. I couldn't get out of this. "Alright."

"Momma!" Chou screamed excitedly. She tightened the grip on my neck. I rubbed her back, smiling a little. "Kazuki. We have a new Mommy!"

Kazuki laughed a little at her proclamation. "Chou, I don't think he wants to be called that."

"That's alright. I really don't care."

Chou squeezed harder. Kazuki eyed me funnily. "Johan, your eyes changed color. They're emerald."

"Really?" He nodded. I sighed, grabbed his hand, and the three of us left this town to start a new life together.

Maybe, things will get better. Maybe I can finally start over.

Judai's POV

I was pacing back in forth in my room. Satori was staring at me. "So, you're saying Johan's a killer?" Satori asked me, getting straight to the point. I sighed. "Okay. So what did you want me to do?"

"Find him. Bring him to me. I have to talk to him. We need to settle this."

Satori shook his head at me. "Look, you can't solve everything. Shouldn't you worry about your own wife?" I glared at him. He put his hands up in defeat. "Alright. Shit. Don't get pissed at me for something you can't solve."

He excused himself from my room. I hopped on my bed and screamed into the pillow. Why does my heart hurt so much? Does it mean I miss him? Or is it that I should stop fooling myself? I flipped onto my side. Maybe Satori is right. I should worry about my own wife. Johan isn't my priority anymore.

I sat up, shaking my head. But my thoughts always wander to him. Even when I have sex with Asuka, I think of him. Like what's he doing or if he's okay. Maybe even if he thinks of me.

I rubbed my hands together. Satori entered my room again. "I have some news. Johan has been spotted in the next town over. Apparently he works at some local bar as a singer." I jumped out of bed and out the door. "Judai, wait! It's not even opened yet!"

"Never hurts to be early!" I called back. Satori followed after me anyway.

Johan's POV

I was sitting in the bathtub with Chou. Kazuki was sitting on the toilet watching us. "So are you sure you wanna go? You don't have to. I promise I'll be back later tonight," I said.

"Chou said she wanted to watch. Besides, we have nothing better to do anyway," Kazuki replied. "I really don't wanna sit in an empty house by myself."

I sighed and motioned for Kazuki to get his sister. Chou twisted around in his grasp. "No! I want to stay with Mommy," she insisted. I smiled at her before Kazuki put her back.

"Can you get her clothes then?" Kazuki disappeared and came back with a simple pink dress. "Thanks Kazuki."

Kazuki smiled at me. He left again to let the two of us change. Chou climbed onto my back and we went on our way. "Kazuki, we're leaving," I called through his door. He opened up.

The three of us traveled down the road to my workplace. I only got the job so I could get the house we were living in for free. Lucky for me, I can sing since I have a feminine tenor in my voice. It makes it better.

We walked into the back door. "Johan, who's your little friends?" Akira drawled. I rolled my eyes at him. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Akira, we've been through this five times since I've been here. These are my children."

Akira threw his hands up. "Ah."

Kazuki glanced over at me warily. "Go find a table. Akira get them something to eat." Akira rolled his eyes and lead the children out. I walked up the stairs to the stage and sat on the edge of it. Chou looked up at me and hurried over.

"Mommy, what's this?" She shoved a piece of paper into my hands. I read it and handed it back to her.

"Lyrics."

A strand of black hair fell in her face. "Oh, can I sing too?" she asked. I shook my head at her. "Why not?" Chou pouted at me. "I can sing too."

I ruffled her black locks. "We can sing at home." I directed my gaze at Akira. "Hey, Akira has food. Go and eat with your brother." Chou giggled and ran off.

I stood up and headed back to their table. I ate with them before the place started to get full. "Boss said your up. Knock 'em dead, Johan," Akira whispered into my ear. Chou kissed my cheek before I made my way back up to the stage.

I grabbed the microphone without second thought. I was getting whistles already. I waited patiently for the music to start. When it did I started.

"Chest to chest

Nose to nose

Palm to palm

We were always just that close

Wrist to wrist

Toe to toe

Lips that felt just like the inside of a rose

So how come when I reach out my finger

It feels like more than distance between us..."

I noticed when I started, I saw an all too familiar face enter the place. I paled at the sight. I couldn't stop either. I had to keep going, even though seeing him was upsetting.

"In this California king bed

We're ten thousand miles apart

I've been California wishing on these stars

For you're heart for me

My California King"

I was walking off the stage to interact with the audience. I stopped by some woman to let her sing with me then I walked to a guy and sat in his lap to sing. Now I was standing in the back on the table, ready to sing the next verse.

"Eye to eye

Cheek to cheek

Side by side

You were sleeping next to me

Arm in arm

Dusk to dawn

With the curtains drawn

And a little last night on these sheets..."

I was sitting on the table, smiling sadly to myself. Judai kept running through my head when I was singing. Gods it was becoming annoying. I shook my head.

"So how come when I reach out my finger

It seems like more than distance between us?

In this California king bed

We're ten thousand miles apart

I've been California wishing on these stars

For your heart for me

My California King"

I bounded over to Chou and Kazuki. I pointed to the sheet of paper and Chou smiled at me. I helped her over to the stage. I was going to let her sing this part with me since she asked. She smiled again at me. We sat together on the edge of the stage.

"Just when I felt like giving up on us

You turn around and give me one last touch

That made everything feel better

Anf even then my eyes got wetter

So confused wanna ask if you if you love me

But I don't wanna seem so weak

Maybe I've been California dreaming"

I stood up again with Chou. I shook my head when I caught Judai's eyes. His widened in response. The crowd meanwhile was standing with me, clapping their hands and throwing flowers up on stage with me. Chou was jumping around excitedly next to me. I felt like crying then, but I had to finish this so I could go home with the little ones. I took a deep breath.

"In this California king bed

We're ten thousand miles apart

I've been California wishing on these stars

For your heart for me

My California King

My California King"

I handed Chou the mic and I left the stage. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get out of here, away from him. Then I realized that Kazuki and Chou are more important than myself right now. I pulled myself back together before I headed back inside. Chou was getting flowers from a woman who smiled down at her. I could tell she was extremely pleased by this.

She spotted me coming back towards her. Chou slipped away from the woman and ran over to me. "Told you I could sing," she reminded me. I chuckled at her remark and decided to agree with her. Kazuki came up to us. He seemed uneasy. I raised a brow at him. Kazuki simply moved his head back slightly. I looked past him at Judai and Satori.

Just great. Satori gently grabbed my hand. He rubbed it with his thumb. "Johan, I missed you. And to be blunt at this point in time would be the easier. The syndicate is very upset that you killed Lord Ryo and King Edo. They ordered you to be hung."

Chou started crying her little eyes out. Kazuki joined her. Satori let go of my hand. I hugged the two children, whispering sweet nothings to calm them both down. I finally managed to get them to stop. I continued to hold them. "Satori, please allow me to make a request before my death."

"Anything," he whispered.

I kissed their foreheads. "Take care of my kids. Be extra careful with Chou though. She doesn't like men very much."

Satori raised a brow before nodding in agreement. "I promise I will."

I let the two go. I gathered Chou in my arms, rocking her gently. "Where's jackass anyway? Wasn't he here with you?" Satori nodded again. "So, he knows about the murder as well?" Another nod. "And he probably told the syndicate about my whereabouts, correct?"

"Johan-"

"I did, in fact, tell them." Judai finally made his presence be known. "I'm sorry but what you did was unforgivable. I'm sure your 'children' think the same."

Chou opened her mouth to speak but was cut off my her older brother. "Look you bastard. Don't speak to our father like the way you are. We understand why he did it. He explained it to us. Now if you ever speak down on him again, I promise you your luck will run out," Kazuki snarled at the King. "You don't understand anything about him or us. So don't go around and make stupid assumptions because your all high and mighty on that high-horse of yours."

Satori held back a giggle. Judai's face was becoming redder in anger. "How dare you speak to me like that you brat. You are obviously no better than your father."

My eyes widened at the tone in his voice. He hates me. Judai hated me. But Kazuki surprised me with his haughty comeback. "And you are obviously no better than a dog. Roll over for us, Prince Judai." He snickered at his face. "Are you surprised, Prince? How can a fourteen year old orphan like me show you no respect? Well, that's very simple." His eyes darkened to an almost black color. "Don't disrespect my dad."

The tension in the room was thickening. You could almost see it. Almost. I cleared my throat. Everyone stared at me. I stared at the two young ones. "You two know I love you. You gave a second chance." Then I turned to stare at the person who betrayed me. "When do we leave? I know the execution is tomorrow."

"Now."

The two lead us out to their ride. I pushed the younger two inside before I climbed in. We sat in silence the entire ride there. Kazuki was sleeping on my shoulder. Chou in my lap. I shifted so I could stare outside the window. I knew we were almost there. I knew my death was upon me. I knew there was no way out. Only a miracle could save me now. I thought about Vincent. The mysterious man knew my plan. He didn't rat me out. I wished I could say goodbye to him.

I then stared at the two. Such beautiful children they were. Surely Satori would grow to love them both. I hoped Chou would be alright without me but I knew Kazuki wouldn't let her be harmed by anyone. Not even Judai. I took the time to look at the person I did love then. Gods I hated this bastard with every fiber in my being. But I couldn't bring myself to say that to him. I learned to hide my emotions though. He wouldn't expect me to have such feelings for him so that was a perk.

The carriage stopped in front of the palace. Satori pulled Kazuki in his arms and exited with me behind him with Chou. Judai got out after me. Judai lead us inside. We walked up the spiral staircase and down a short hall. He opened the door at the end of the hall and allowed us to enter. It was a small room. I assumed it was for the little kids. We put them in the bed and pulled the blanket over them. I kissed them again, tears suddenly falling freely from my face down on Kazuki's cheek. "I love you," I whispered, mostly to myself.

Judai gently pushed me out of the room. He kissed the side of my mouth. "I love you," he told me. "I love you so much." He kissed my cheeks. "Johan, I love you." Judai kissed my nose. "I really do." He kissed my lips this time. "Please forgive me." Judai kissed me with all the passion he could. He poured all his feelings into this one kiss. I sighed into it before I turned my head to break. "I'm so sorry."

I pushed him away lightly. "I'll forgive you because there is no point dying with a grudge." I hugged him awkwardly. "And, I lo-"

"Johan Andersen!" a woman boomed. I stared behind me at Asuka. I frowned at her. She didn't look like herself. Asuka reminded me of a madwoman. "Johan, it's time."

I nodded and went to her. I wanted this done quickly. She lead me down to the garden. A crowd was forming to watch my death. The people there were obviously afraid of me. I smirked a little at my accomplishment. A guard escorted me up to the platform. He placed the rope around my neck. "People of Romia! I, Queen Asuka, as well as the people in the syndicate are here to apologize to you! After the long weeks of searching, we finally captured the lost prince of Wales!" The crowd cheered. Asuka waited for them to quiet down. "Johan's killing spree has officially ended today. Now we will witness his death!"

The guard pushed me off the platform. I was suspended above the crowd. I started gasping for air and struggling against my bonds. For the first time, I actually feared death. I didn't want to go like this. Not yet. Not now. Not like this. My vision started become hazy. I smiled weakly to myself. This is what I deserve. I needed this. I shut my eyes to let the darkness consume. Goodbye, Judai. Goodbye Chou and Kazuki. I'm going to Hell where I belong; my home where I came from. A tear slipped down my cheek as I stopped breathing.

Normal POV

After Johan's death, the guards tossed his lifeless body into the Romia River. They watched it float away. Asuka smiled. Now that Johan was out of the way, Judai could finally focus on her and her alone. She literally skipped back into the palace, up the staircase, to find her beloved husband. She walked into the small room and frowned at what she saw. There her husband lay with two children that didn't belong here in the first place. Asuka felt her fist tighten into a ball. She stomped out of the room and back to her own. She had to get those two brats out of her home. Sitting on the bed, she thought long and hard about it. She did not see her husband walk into their room.

"Asuka, what are you doing?" Judai questioned her.

Asuka glanced up at him. "None of your concern, dear husband. You will find out in due time."

Judai didn't like where this conversation was going. But, he shook it off. Judai didn't want to cause his wife any stress at this point in time. Whatever. Let her be a bitch and leave her be. So he turned on his heel and left her alone to come up with her devious ideas.

xXx

"Prince Johan of Wales," a voice said through the darkness. Johan still laid lifeless on the ground. "Johan, get your ass up right now," the voice commanded roughly. And he still did not move. A growl was emitted through the darkness. A cold hand ran it's way from his chest to his cheek. "Johan Andersen, wake up. You are not dead. You were never dead."

Johan opened his eyes to stare up at -well- himself. "Who are you?" he croaked.

"I am your darker self. Basically your Yami."

"Ya-mi?"

Yami smiled at him. "But I have a name. It's Kana."

"Why is that your name?"

Kana snorted at him. "Because it is, kid. Now get your ass up and kill that little bitch who killed you." Kana started moving away from him.

"Where are we?"

"My personal part of Hell. You like?"

Johan looked around. Nothing was here. It was all darkness. "There's noth-"

"I know kid. We're in your conscious. Calm down already." Johan eyes him. "Don't worry about Suna. He returned home after I kicked him out of your head. He's with your dad now. I'm your protector from here on out."

Johan checked Kana out for a second. "I remember you. You allowed me to use your body to go on that killing spree."

Kana grinned at him. "Good job, kid." Kana strolled back over to him. "Now come here." Kana kissed him forcefully. Johan gasped and struggled against him. Kana let him go. "See you."

Johan's POV

I'm alive. I. Am. Alive. And Kami did it feel good! I checked my body. Everything was still attached. I smiled. I can go get my kids. Oh Kami. My kids. They'll be so happy to see me. I wonder how long I've been gone? A day maybe? A couple hours? Who knows. I don't even care. I'm alive! That's all that matters to me at this point.

I stood up. "Johan, I bet your wondering why your still alive." Kana's voice. I nodded. "Since I inherit your body, you can not die. Until someone can kill you while in my form, you will never die. You are immortal."

"That's great Kana. Thank you." A small chuckle resonated in my head. "Anyway, can you tell me where I am and how much time has passed since my 'death'?" I asked simply. I needed to know. I had to know.

"About two years."

"You're shitting me?"

Another short laugh. "No, Johan. I am speaking the truth."

Lightning painted the sky then. It started to rain pretty hard. I shivered at the contact of the rain on my skin. "Kana, you wouldn't mind telling me where I am." He replied to me the Wasteland. "And what is this 'Wasteland'?" I did not get a reply. I knew he didn't know either. I cracked my knuckles and headed up the hillside to get a better look of my surroundings. When I reached the top, I frowned. I was staring at Romia, or what was left of it. They must of had some nuclear war.

"Pretty bad, huh?" Kana asked me. He was sitting next to my feet, staring at the ruins intently. "No one knows exactly what happened. It had something to do with Asuka and witchcraft but no one knows what happened to her. They say she's dead now according to rumors." I asked why. "Well, she was trying to get rid of your kids only because Judai favored them over her. Now, Asuka was pregnant at the time, but she had a miscarriage. Asuka became upset and tried to destroy Judai and your children. This is what happened as the effect."

I glanced at the ruins again. "So, is anyone alive?"

Kana shrugged. "No one knows. It looks like a hellhole here though. It's quite depressing."

I nodded in agreement. I wondered why Asuka was such a jealous woman. Shouldn't I be the one envious of her and what she had? It shouldn't be the other way around. Whatever. The bitch deserved what was coming to her anyway. That's why Karma was a bitch to everyone. It didn't bypass you because you were royalty. I smiled a little.

"Did you want to look around? I mean, the palace is still standing. It wouldn't hurt to take a look," Kana suggested, getting to his feet in the process. I agreed with him. We set out to the palace that was still standing. The two of us didn't say a word to each other. When we reached the front door Kana said, "You'll knock, won't you?"

I sighed and knocked on the door. We waited patiently for five minutes before deciding to leave. Then, I heard the door creek open. "Johan?" I spun on my heel to stare at the man I did previously hate the most. "Hey," he said quietly.

"Hi," I replied just as quiet. Damn he looked like shit.

"We have to talk," he whispered. Judai sidestepped to let us in. "About your kids...they're gone."

And the rest of my heart shattered.

So that's that. Glad I managed to finish this one. Review for me if you managed to get this far.