The Cheesecake Rebellion
Summary: People make Naruto and offer he can't refuse - - - well not if he wants to keep his kneecaps.
Thanks: This wouldn't be possible without all those kind enough to spare some time and review me!
Billie the fourth sage
liby318
sonotgoingthere
Bubble Master Califa
animecorps
shizniz00
Legendary Muse
sparkygo123
ChocoholicsAnonymous
Chapter 4
Naruto was pacing - he'd started at 7am and it had continued until the point that Sakura had threatened him with a cleaning product enema. She'd explained the process at 11am and Naruto had gone pacing elsewhere. He'd seen Lee run past in his green leotard with matching runners. He actually had a nice body…that paused Naruto's pacing for a few seconds…
"Hey Naruto" Ino from the florist's waved.
"Hi" he said as he sat on the steps up to their floor. "Sakura's inside"
"Great - I want her to dish on that cute boy I saw leaving your apartment the other mornings"
"Not hers" Naruto mumbled - Ino heard him of course, she had ears like a bat.
"Ohhhhh Naruto Uzumaki you slut" giggled Ino. "What was his name?"
"It's not important"
"Double slut" Ino laughed. She tossed her hair and started tying it into a ponytail as she mused in her own thoughts. "Still, he looked pretty damn hot…pity he's a big cock slurping ho bag" she winked playfully and passed Naruto. "You know, it's only when you actually sleep with men that we know you're gay Naruto"
Naruto flushed bright red.
"You need a guy, seriously" Ino said as she pushed the door to their apartment and went in to see Sakura. Ino and Sakura had been frienemies (friend-enemies) all through school. Now they had pretty much left it as friends - they could still be competitive but most of the time they watched TV together, compared themselves to the Sex and the City Girls, swooned and sobbed for Grey's Anatomy and jeered at LOST.
Naruto found those shows so irritating that he'd crank up his music and ignore the neighbors just to drown out the cries of "McDreamy I want you between my legs" and "McSteamy heal me with you magic penis"
Okay so they hadn't actually shouted those things - well maybe once but he'd been half-asleep.
Naruto pushed that out of his mind and went back to panicking. He'd cooked his way through most of their supplies last night, the freezer was packed to capacity and the fridge was 8/9ths of the way there.
He needed this job, a real restaurant, he'd always wanted a job in a real restaurant…yeah…yeah he could do this! His phone beeped and began to play "Low" it reached "boots with da furrrrr" when Naruto opened it out and answered. "Hello?"
"Are you ready for your interview? I know I am"
"I am - I guess - I prepped to cook stuff just in case he asked…and I'm bringing stuff in my backpack too…do you think I'll have to make something?"
"Probably, he was pretty damn vague" Temari said. "I called the number on the card and god some dude named Bettina - yeah - a dude - anyway apparently "K-man" is not available at the moment, I swear if I have to beat on someone I will, this had better not be a set up."
Naruto's heart was pumping madly. "Uh…"
"It probably isn't!" Temari exclaimed, aware of how easily Naruto could overreact. "Stay calm!"
Sai lay in bed until noon, then he slid out. He'd been requested for sex three times, his body ached all over and he reminded himself to pick up more condoms for his pack. Kiba was lounging on the sofa, watching their illegal cable and jerking off.
Sai was unfazed as usual. Kiba had a remarkable libido, he could literally go all night. Sometimes he had to fake being tired to get away from the patrons - or so he claimed. Sai doubted he would. Kiba was one of the webcam boy favourites just like Sai. They were always trapped in Danzou's world of porn.
Sorry, adult entertainment.
"What's up with you?" Kiba called as Sai started to make coffee. "And make mine Irish"
"What do you mean? And where's the Irish for your coffee?"
"Last night you were spaced more than usual. And its in the breadbin"
Sai lifted the lid and removed on of Kiba's bottles - he kept changing where he left them and keeping track had never been Sai's interest.
"I was smiling" Sai said simply.
"Yeah, your usual fake smile only different" Kiba snorted. "Like you were miles away and fake smiling instead of fake smiling for the johns". Ah yes put a high class name on any business you like but when you still use the terminology of a low class one who are you fooling?
"I don't know - I didn't realize I did anything like that" Sai said as he beat the percolator with a copy of "EuroTwinkieMan". "Did Danzou call?"
"Nope" Kiba sighed as he flicked over to a porno and continued to beat off. "Not yet"
Sai poured out the coffee, gave Kiba's a splash of booze and walked towards him. "Well maybe we'll get a day off, I'd like to go out for the day, maybe see what's happening in town" he mused as he ducked the first spurt of jizz to come shooting from the sofa.
"Sounds…good…" Kiba panted as he pulled his tracksuit pants back up and changed the station to Beverly Hills 90210. He accepted his coffee and drank a gulp. "This tastes funny"
"Yes, it's what happens when you fire wildly" Sai replied flatly glancing at the splodge that had hit him on the shoulder. Kiba looked at Sai, then at his mug, then at Sai, then at the mug and then at Sai one more time before shrugging and knocking it back.
(AN: I know that was gross for some but I was challenged to do it )
Naruto was in a kitchen, in front of a pan and very dazed. Kakashi the manager had greeted him and in 20 seconds he'd had Naruto standing at the kitchen station sautéing onions and peppers to finish the Potato cakes he'd made.
Kakashi was standing with two others, one was a large breasted blonde woman whose assistant (pretty, short brown hair, weary expression) stood a few steps back with the aide accompanying the hard faced man with pale eyes. That guy and the guy who had to be his son or something were watching him with freaky eyes.
He was soooooo nervous.
"It's good" the blonde woman said, her considerable chest jiggling as she mulled over her forkful and turned to Kakashi. "I say go with it" she nodded. "The pressure didn't get to him like the other 12 - and this beats the pants off that salad that last candidate made…someone should have told him the oven wasn't where it went" she sighed and raised an eyebrow at the memory before taking another forkful of the potato cakes. "This really is divine…it's like my tongue won big at the taste roulette table"
"Makes your tongue the only part of you that wins at anything" mumbled her assistant in the doorway. The woman, Tsunade, showed no signs of hearing but Naruto was sure she did.
"What do you think, Mr Hyuuga?" Kakashi asked.
The man jabbed his fork into the potato cake and spiced garnish on top. He took one contemplative bite and chewed slowly. "…adequate"
Naruto felt himself explode with rage but bit his lips to hold it in as he twitched, bright red in the corner of the kitchen, glowering at the tiles as if he intended to melt them by thought alone. "Excellent!" Kakashi beamed as he tucked the book (it showed a pretty risqué scene on the well read cover). "Now he can make a desert"
"Uh - I - um -" Naruto murmured.
"Yes. A desert" Hyuuga nodded.
"Something with chocolate!" Tsunade exclaimed as she clapped her hands and bounced a little, her chest bobbed as if nodding in agreement…nodding in agreement vehemently.
"Can I take a few moments?"
"Yes" Tsunade nodded. "Take more than a few, take a whole bunch, we're going to get champagne!"
"No you're going to get champagne, we're going to say sober a little longer" Kakashi muttered.
Naruto excused himself and stepped out into the back lot. He wanted to run so badly - oh so very badly… but that wasn't about to happen. He could get his dream job…only he hadn't brought any desert recipes with him! His mind was going blank and he fumbled to pull the cards out of his pocket. A gust of strong wind caught them and several fluttered over the wall of the lot.
He scampered across the cobbles at the back of the restaurant and pulled open the gate to pursue the cards. He paused as he saw someone else grasp them. Sai was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, sure they were tight and showed a fair bit of midriff but - - - they seemed out of place in comparison to the leather pants and tight shirt…
Not in a bad way
In a nice way.
"H-hey" Naruto stammered already feeling the burn of a blush on his face. "Sai"
Sai's fingers tightened on the recipe cards, this surprised him, suddenly he felt very tense indeed. Naruto wasn't going to do him any harm…so why did he feel so…on edge
"Naruto" he smiled slowly and offered the cards he'd caught. "These are yours?"
Naruto nodded and accepted them. "So…how are you?" he stammered.
"I'm fine…you do not need to try and force conversation with me, I understand" Sai said softly. Naruto blinked and gulped. Now he felt like a jerk, but he wasn't interested in a relationship and - and - and Sai's hands were on his face. The fingertips stroked the faded scars on the sides of his face and on his cheeks.
"What happened?" Sai murmured.
"I - uh - it - when - my - you - are - aaaaah" It felt so good…Naruto wrapped an arm around Sai's waist and pulled him in. He kissed the soft lips and felt Sai get hard against his own desire. The blood rush downwards had been so quick he was dizzy now.
"What was that for?" Sai whispered against Naruto's lips.
"…I- sorry -I didn't"
"Don't be sorry" Sai murmured.
"Mr Uzumaki!" Naruto froze as Mr. Hyuuga's gravelly voice rang out from over the wall. "We do not have all day! Get in here now!"
Sai winced and pulled away from Naruto. "I'd better go…I have to get home"
Naruto nodded dumbly but found words when Sai was near the mouth of the alley. "What were you doing back here anyway?"
Sai glanced back at an alcove in the alley wall. "Working" he said softly and was gone.
"You know who used to date Lee?" Ino said as she and Sakura cruised through the rails of clothing, occasionally examining a dress or sweater as they moved. "Tenten"
"No surprise there" sighed Sakura. "That girl gets around like chickenpox in a playschool"
"That's cruel"
"Ugh. You know its true" Sakura muttered. "Still I have nothing against her"
"Yeah I know, she's the whore of the old Sex and the City gang…" sighed Ino wistfully remembering four girls having lunch in their private school uniforms and shopping all weekend. "We should totally reunite…"
"No" Sakura grumbled.
"Oh come on! We can have a cocktail night - throw one of our parties and grab the girls back in! You have to miss them - - - even just a little?" Sakura's lip curled at the side and her pout faded away.
"Okay let's throw a party" she sighed.
"I know the perfect venue!" Ino squealed. "Club 96!"
Naruto slipped in the kitchen door sheepishly. He was shuffling his cards. "S-S-Sorry" he was freaked out by the people in this room, especially the ones with the freaky eyes. "I- uh - I lost my cards" he indicated the items in question…and Tsunade snatched them.
"What have we here?" she mused. "Oh! I like this recipe! Make this one!" She showed the card to Hyuuga and Kakashi. Her assistant and Hyuuga's aide peered at the card as well over the shoulders of the employers. "This will do nicely!"
"W- uh - I - Bu-"
"Belgian Chocolate Cheesecake? Sounds nice" Kakashi mused as he put his book down, a clear sign he was interested in the recipe. "Yes this will do indeed"
"B-But"
Then Hyuuga said: "This" and Naruto's inner self threw himself off a cliff, screaming…and found calmness in the tingle on his lips. He smiled slowly and then nodded. "No problemo!" he exclaimed as he shoved up his sleeves and threw open the fridge. "Stand back!"
Sai felt sick. He'd given a guy a Five Dollar hand job for taxi fare…then he'd kissed Naruto and for once he felt disgusted with himself. He kept telling himself that this was just his way of surviving, that this was what he had to do and how it had been and would always be until he died around age 27 when some scumbag John knifed him and left him to die.
His walls were coming down now, suddenly, frighteningly.
He had to bring his dry cleaning home, he focused on that as he left the laundrette and haled a cab in the rain. He was meant to be a naughty school boy at 8pm tonight in a hotel room for a man who was probably married with three kids.
He touched his lips…
Naruto was frozen in fear. Tsunade raised the fork with the cake on it to her lips and bit it. For a moment time stood still as all eyes were on her… "Deliscious!" she exclaimed.
"…C-c-Come again…" mumbled a stunned Naruto.
"Hire him on the spot!" Tsunade exclaimed as Hyuuga tasted the cake. He nodded and then Kakashi shoved the rest of the slice into his mouth. Naruto stared at him for a moment - they had to be kidding…people had offered to eat paint and broken bottles rather than his Chocolate Cheesecake…
"You're hired, come in on Monday and I'll tell you everything" Kakashi retrieved his book and left a stunned Naruto behind him. Naruto pinched himself to check he was still conscious and not hallucinating.
"Mmmmm Delicious" Tsunade was saying. "Shizune cut yourself a slice its divine" she was already helping herself to another slice. "This is well worth working off in Taibogilatecise Class tomorrow". The assistant's face lit up as she took a first bite of the chocolate cheesecake.
Naruto blinked in surprise and moved a fork in closer to the cake, taking a sample for himself and placing it carefully in his mouth. His eyes rolled back in his head for a moment…it was…definitely improved, delicious…
What the hell!?
A large hand clapped him on the shoulder. "Walk with us" Mr. Hyuuga said. "We'll give you a lift home" His fingers tightened and Naruto found himself nodding feebly.
The limo had darkened windows and a soft leather interior. "Neji, my nephew, wants me to make sure my daughter's 21st birthday is a success for her sake, you see, she's always been a dainty thing and he think it would help her find some confidence - since she's in line to inherit my businesses… I want her to buck up a little. So a party is in order for her coming of age"
Naruto was being stared at by two sets of pale eyes. "Y-Yes?"
"You're going to make her cake" Neji said, his voice was cold and collected. "You're going to make her the best cake…because if she isn't happy - " he cracked his knuckles.
"The only icing will be the kind we do to you" growled Hyuuga Senior. "We'll contact you soon about the party."
All of a sudden Naruto was lying sprawled on the grassy slope of the park in the rain.
That had been brief…and more to the point he was nowhere near his home!
Damn it!
"So just a very brief threat and then they tossed you out of the car?" Sakura was incredulous as they shoved through the crowds towards the stage. "Jerk-a-rific - - - since when do we have the Sopranos in your workplace?"
"I don't know, I don't even know how he was involved with the restaurant but at least I got the job…" he smiled happily. "And I seem to have mastered my Aunt's recipe" he added.
"Something I can't fully believe, but congratulations" Sakura gave him a quick hug and then a hush fell as the lights came on stage. "Haku's up" she whispered. "I hope he's not nervous with his double Britney Set! I mean "Ooops you did me again" and "Do me Baby one more time" were troubling him"
"What for? Intellectual subterfuge?" Naruto muttered
Haku straddled a chair giving everyone a good look at his lace panties.
"Nope - not nervous" Sakura and Naruto sighed in unison.
"Oh baby baby, oh baby baby
Oh baby baby, you sure knew how to blow
When you sucked me off last ni-ight
Oh baby baby, I came loud eight times
And now its number nine, yeah
Do me not too fast or slowly
Do me baby cuz I want to cum again now, oh because
These handcuffs are chafing me (and I)
I must confess I want it missionary (missionary)
When you thrust, I scream aloud
Take off the gag and thrust again, Screw me baby one more time!"
Naruto just covered his face with his hands and sighed. Talk about icing on the cake...
TO BE CONTINUED
In the next chapter: Naruto meets a key person in his life, Sai gets a job, it's Shikamaru time and Kakashi has a birthday courtesy of Tsunade so you can expect booze, debauchery and men with loose speedos and looser morals. Plus we meet Hinata and Ino and Sakura's crew while Lee tries to get a word in with Sakura. Poor guy he just can't win!