Wait – part 4
JACK
"Elizabeth!"
He'd knocked on the door only to get no answer. So, he'd gotten desperate and he now banged on her bedroom window. So loud obviously, that Lee and Rosemary had heard.
"Jack! What in the world are ya doing?" Lee's loud whisper carried across the night sky as he opened his own window and stuck his head out. Jack noticed he was in his nightwear and he felt a little badly about waking him.
Jack, frustrated, looked up toward Lee. "I'm searching for Elizabeth and now I'm a little worried because she's not here."
Suddenly, beside Lee, Rosemary's head appeared in the window. She was pulling on a housecoat, every hair in place and still in full make-up.
Did she wear that lipstick to bed? Lee had never said and he certainly wouldn't ask. He hoped Elizabeth wouldn't do that and couldn't imagine her doing such. Rosemary? Wasn't such a stretch.
"Jack Thornton! What in the world are you doing sneaking over here at Elizabeth's bedroom window at this hour!?" Rosemary's brows knotted together in displeasure and admonition.
Lee turned to her. "Honey, I'm sure Jack has a good reason for being over here this late."
Rosemary jerked her house robe completely together and tied it. "Well I certainly would hope so!"
Lee turned back to Jack and rolled his eyes before asking seriously, "Jack, is anything wrong?"
Jack shook his head. "I just really need to find Elizabeth. Any idea of where she might have gone?"
Lee scratched his head a moment.
Rosemary made a face. "Why in the world would Elizabeth be out this late?"
Jack had the humility to look a little sheepish. "I was a little worried that something I said might have upset her."
Rosemary's mouth opened up in a wide 'O'. "Jack! How could you have upset that poor dear! Do you have any idea what she has been through? How much she has missed you?
Lee grabbed her arm to try and quiet her. "Honey, I'm sure they'll work out whatever it is." He said it through clinched teeth and then glanced apologetically toward Jack. "Jack, we headed to bed early and haven't seen Elizabeth- sorry."
Rosemary had been glaring down at Jack and now turned her face back toward her husband. "Well, I for one, am going to help find her- she'll probably need someone to talk to."
Lee held his hand up to her face. "Honey, I'm quite sure Jack is capable of finding her on his own and then he will talk to her."
She now glared at Lee and began to argue. "Well, she'll need-"
Lee shook his head emphatically no. "It's not our business dear."
Rosemary poked her bottom lip out at him but said nothing further. Lee leaned back out the window toward Jack. "Sorry. But good luck. You holler later if you need some help."
Jack nodded. "Thanks Lee."
Lee shut the window, leaving Jack alone in the dark between the two houses.
Jack walked toward the end of the path and then stopped and looked around. There was a light on in the schoolhouse! Jack knew she sometimes went over and worked in the evening when she'd had a particularly upsetting day. Perhaps…
He headed around the pond for the school.
In his mind, he knew what he had to do. Beg, beg, beg her forgiveness for tonight. Well, really for everything since he'd returned. He'd been far too forward with her. As his intended, he owed her every respect. Her response didn't matter. No matter how much it thrilled him. He had to somehow put that aside and make things right and keep them so.
Coming up the steps, he didn't hear any noises. Perhaps she was grading papers.
He walked inside and it took it a moment for him to realize that Elizabeth's desk was empty and there was a solitary figure in a dark shirt sitting on the bench at the front, his head bowed.
Not wanting to intrude, Jack stopped and slowly and quietly began to back away. He'd just turned when a voice stopped him.
"Jack, wait."
He swung back around to see Frank looking up at him.
"Oh, hey Frank. I wasn't sure that was you. Sorry to intrude- I was just…"
"Looking for someone?" Frank didn't bat an eye as he finished Jack's thought.
Jack nodded. "Yeah."
Frank held his arms wide. "Well, she's not here but you are." He patted the bench beside him. "Why don't you sit down a minute."
Jack backed up another step. "I would Frank but I'm a little worried about Elizabeth. She's not home and –"
Frank cut him off. "She's safe Jack. She's at Abigail's."
Jack knitted his brows together. "Are you sure?"
Frank nodded. "Yep. She was headed in when Abigail was closing up. Seen her on my walk over here."
Jack felt instantly more at ease. It did make sense and he should have thought about it. She had always run to Abigail when she was upset.
"Thanks Frank." He gave an appreciative nod. "I guess I'll go see her then." He started to turn to leave.
"Jack, my advice would be to let her talk it out with Abigail." Again, he patted the bench beside him. "Come. Sit a few minutes."
Jack didn't much want to. He wasn't ready to share the full scope of his internal feelings with anyone-including a man of the cloth.
But something compelled him. Perhaps it was the sense that he was lost in all the intense feelings between he and Elizabeth. Perhaps it was the knowledge that he didn't quite know how to handle them or how to make things right with his fiancée. And he didn't quite know how to talk about it with her.
He walked up the aisle and sat beside the pastor.
Frank gave him a small smile and a comforting pat on the back before shifting to face forward again.
"You're still troubled. Anything you want to share?"
Jack shrugged. "I'm not certain I'd even know where to start."
Frank nodded his understanding. "You know Jack. I haven't always been a minister. There was a time in my life –when I was around your age- that I fell in love with a woman I was pretty sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."
Jack was a bit surprised. He'd never heard Frank speak much about his past.
Jack turned his head toward him. "What happened?"
Frank smiled ever so slightly, a tad regretfully. "Let's just say that I lost sight of my priorities and I let things that weren't as important get in the way of doing the things I should have done."
Jack let that sink in a moment. "I always want Elizabeth to know that she's the most important part of my life."
Frank smiled. "I think she knows that Jack. And I know she feels the same way. You two are truly right for each other."
Jack smiled. "Yeah."
Turning to face Jack, Frank pulled his knee up on the bench and grabbed his ankle to hold it. "So what's troubling you two so much that you're out looking for your fiancée at late hours and she's running over to Abigail's?"
Jack started to just speak in generalities and if Frank had been a traditional pastor like most he'd known, he might have done so. But he knew that Frank was a no-nonsense guy that would cut through to the heart of a matter.
"I lost my way for a bit and I…I got too aggressive with her."
To his credit, Frank didn't laugh at his bold admission. He didn't even smile. He just held his gaze steady and nodded.
"Easy to do when you're in love with a woman."
Jack let out a long breath. "Yeah it sure is." He paused for a moment, thinking.
"You know, before I left to go up North, Elizabeth and I, we had moments of affection and such but since I've returned, things, well, they just feel different now."
Frank nodded his understanding and Jack continued.
"Before, I never took things any further than a kiss. Not because I didn't want to perhaps but I just could contain my feelings for her enough to give her the respect she deserved. But the thing of it is, since I've come back home, nothing I do with her feels wrong to me."
He trailed off and Frank studied his words for a moment. "Well, you are engaged to be married now Jack. That's different than before you left."
Jack nodded. "Yes, and I should be enjoying this engagement period with her and making plans and laughing and talking about our future together. But while I was gone…it was like, everything sped up for me. I could see us married. It was on my mind constantly. I felt as if she were already my wife in my mind."
He reached up to touch his head lightly as if to make the point.
"Pastor, I'm a person that takes the commandments of the good book seriously and so does Elizabeth and we believe in what is said about love being patient and yet, when we're together, everything now…It all just seems right somehow."
Frank said nothing for a long moment and then spoke deliberately and slowly.
"You two sound like you are ready to be married Jack." Frank's sincere tone matched the weight of his observation.
That statement didn't surprise Jack and he agreed. "I know. I would marry her tonight if I could. But we have so much to do before we can get married. I've got to get our house built-that will take at least six months- if we have enough money and then, Elizabeth has the wedding to plan out. Her family will have to travel in and there's the dress and the church to get ready and you know women, that will take months of preparation as well."
Frank just chuckled. "Just listen to yourself Jack."
Jack raised an eyebrow. "What?"
Frank snorted. "You're repeating my mistake in a different way- putting everything else first."
Jack didn't like that. "No, it's not the same. Even if we forgo a big wedding and are willing to risk her family's wrath, we don't have a place to live yet."
"Elizabeth does." Frank quickly shot back.
Jack didn't like that either. "That row house of hers is tiny. I want to be able to provide her a real home with plenty of room for us to have a family."
Frank slid a hand to Jack's shoulder. "And you will." He bit his lip a moment.
"You know Jack, God might just be testing you in a different way now."
Jack snorted. "Then I failed tonight."
"No Jack, that's not what I mean. No, you and Elizabeth are ready to be married except for things the two of you are putting in your way-things that God doesn't value in the least-pride nor money and I doubt God cares if you get married in this building or over at the lumberyard."
He dealt Jack a serious stare and pulled his hand forward to put his index finger on Jack's chest where his heart was. "He cares what's in there."
Jack felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn't fathom doing what Frank was suggesting.
"Before I left, Elizabeth told me she would wait for me as long as it took for me to do my duty and return. I owe it to her to offer her the same patience and allow this engagement period to be all it needs to be."
Frank raised his own eyebrow. "Have you even asked her if that's what she wants?"
Jack opened his mouth and then closed it. Had he? He had been so uneasy that she would be offended at his behavior that he had not even stopped to consider that she might not want to wait until all their plans were finished.
"Well…not really but she's a lady and all so…" He trailed off knowing Frank would understand what he was getting at.
Frank let out a small laugh. "Jack, ladies have plenty of needs too. We men don't have the market cornered on those."
Jack was beginning to be all too aware of how much that was the case with his own woman. She had been with him all the way. He'd felt her desire for him and though he didn't know if it matched his own, he'd seen her eyes and heard the need in her voice.
He shook himself and remembered he had promised to put such thoughts away.
"Frank, don't you think God expects us to exercise some patience with…these things?"
Frank popped Jack's shoulder again, this time a bit harder. "Jack, you've been gone close to a year, put your very life on the line and from my understanding, have been in love with Elizabeth Thatcher since the moment she rolled into town. I'd say that the good Lord figures you've shown your share of patience."
Jack nodded. He had some things to think about.
Frank continued. "You know Jack, the Good Book tells us a lot more about pre-marital relationships than just that Corinthians passage you mentioned about patience."
He nodded when he could see Jack was listening. "Same book that tells us that love must be patient also tells us it is better to marry than to burn with passion for another."
Jack thought about the pastor's words for a long moment. "So, if it tells us both of those, how do we know when to be patient and wait and when not to?"
Frank smiled. "Ah, that's the beauty of it Jack. It also tells us to pray for the wisdom to make good decisions."
Jack sighed loudly and sank back on the bench. "And what if we make a decision and it's the wrong one?"
Frank stood and looked down at him. "True love never fails my friend." He winked at him. "And I do rightly believe the two of you have that." He took a step over to the other bench where he'd left his jacket, reached for it and slid it on.
"I'm going to head on home for some shut-eye." He glanced up towards where a small wooden cross now rested on the desk at the front of the room. "You stay as long as you'd like."
Jack looked up. "Thanks Frank."
He nodded and glanced one last time at Jack with a small smile. "What I'm here for."
Jack listened as Frank's footsteps retreated and then stared to the front of the room for a long time, lost in his thoughts. After a bit, he took a deep breath and lowered his head.
And he prayed.
ELIZABETH
"So, after listening to all that you don't think me some common trollop?" Elizabeth's face flamed as Abigail couldn't help the chortle of laughter that sprang from her throat.
"Goodness no!" Abigail smiled and hastened to assure her. "Elizabeth Thatcher, you listen to me- you are about as far from a trollop as any woman I have ever known! What you did tonight and what you feel for Jack is completely normal and yes, it seems things got a bit heated but you have nothing to feel shameful about."
"But Abigail, why can I not control my thoughts and actions now? Before he left I loved kissing Jack but that was all we ever did. And it was…enough."
Abigail set her tea cup down with intent. "Elizabeth….You and Jack are engaged to be married. Things are…different now."
She paused, searching for the right words. "All that time apart has just magnified every feeling you and he have for each other. You don't just think of Jack as a suitor any longer. In both of your minds, you already think of yourselves as husband and wife. Circumstances have just kept that from happening already."
Elizabeth moaned in despair. "But that's just it Abigail! We're not married yet. And I don't know how much longer I can stand this!"
Abigail pinched her lips in thought. "Have you talked to Jack about it?"
Elizabeth dropped her eyes. "Well, not really. I mean, as I told you, he left tonight before we could even discuss what had happened."
Abigail nodded and carefully chose her next words. She leaned forward and rubbed Elizabeth's forearm. "Honey, have you ever thought that maybe you and Jack should just go ahead and get married?"
Elizabeth brought her eyes up in surprise. Her mind scrambled to come up with a response.
"Well, no but there's just too much to do. We have to plan the wedding, the post-wedding trip and then, there's my family that must be brought in and a house to get built and…"
Abigail interrupted her. "AND, there's a thousand reasons you two need to wait right?"
Elizabeth shrugged and sighed. "Love has to be patient. I've learned that these past months."
Abigail rolled her eyes. "Love also has to show common sense. You have a house that you and Jack could live in until yours is built and you can always have a big wedding at a later date when your family could come. We could even throw a party."
"I don't know…" Elizabeth started but she was hearing Abigail.
"You and Jack have been more than patient Elizabeth. You have walked through fire to do the right things by each other and you two have always put others ahead of yourselves."
She reached over to take her friend's hand in her own. "Stop trying to be everything to everyone Elizabeth. You have earned the right to be a little bit selfish."
Elizabeth studied her friend a long moment. "I don't know Abigail…I don't want to do the wrong things just because I am too weak to do the right things."
Abigail reached up to Elizabeth's cheek and brushed it with her hand. "You know Elizabeth, I love you like you were my own sister."
Elizabeth's eyes instantly welled up with tears at the admission and she nodded. "I know…I feel the same."
Abigail fought back tears herself. "And I wouldn't push you to do anything that went against your principles."
Elizabeth nodded. "I know."
Abigail waited to let her words sink in. "When I lost Peter and Noah, I wanted to think I would never know joy again. It wasn't supposed to happen like that. "
She swallowed as if tasting her pain again. Raising her slightly trembling chin, she cleared her throat. "But losing Noah and Peter have now led me to His other plan for me-becoming Cody and Becky's mother." She reached to squeeze Elizabeth's hand again. "And that wasn't supposed to happen either…" She wiped away a tear. "But it did."
Abigail clasped Elizabeth's hand even tighter and continued, making sure she had her complete attention.
"God's plan for you brought you to this place when everyone said you weren't supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to last…" She paused and smiled. "But you did and look what you have accomplished for this town…for these children."
She wasn't finished.
"God's plan for you and Jack brought you two together and God's plan separated you two for a while right?"
Elizabeth nodded mutely, her mind following the logic clearly.
"Have you ever considered that God's plan for you and Jack to come together might not be your plan? That His timing might not be yours?"
Elizabeth felt the air go out of her for a moment. Abigail could see that and sat back in her chair.
Finally, she asked one final question of Elizabeth. "Does it feel right when you are with him more…intimately?"
Elizabeth could barely speak.
"More right than anything I've ever felt." She whispered the reply.
Abigail nodded. "Then listen to the call of your heart Elizabeth...It knows the answers."
Elizabeth reached across and hugged Abigail, holding her tightly.
The two had barely parted, when a knock came at the door.
Abigail raised her eyebrows and chuckled. "This place is busier tonight than Grand Central Station!"
Abigail rose and walked across the dining hall to the door, swinging it open. As she surmised, Jack stood at the threshold looking expectant.
"Abigail, I'm sorry to bother you so late but is Elizabeth by chance here?"
She couldn't help teasing him a little. "Young, pretty with auburn hair?" She turned her chin to indicate that Elizabeth was indeed in the house. "I believe she might be here and is missing one handsome Mountie that she has become…rather attached to."
Jack looked chagrined and she showed mercy on him and opened the door wider to let him enter.
He waited on her to lead the way toward the kitchen. As he entered the softly lit room, his brown eyes found Elizabeth's blue ones and the two of them never looked away, the pull between them so strong, even Abigail could feel it. Neither smiled but just were still, drinking the other in.
Suddenly, Abigail standing behind them, felt like the third wheel in her own home. She eased around Jack and cleared her throat. "Well, it's late and I think I'll turn in. You two take as long as you like…just lock up when you leave."
Although, Jack gave her a slight nod, his eyes never left Elizabeth, nor did hers move from him. Abigail wasn't certain either of them even knew she existed any longer.
She smiled, her own heart full of love for both of them, and slipped from the room.
Jack waited another moment, blinked through his haze and then stepped forward to where Elizabeth sat unmoving, still watching him. Standing above her, he extended his hand down toward her. "Take a walk with me?"
She finally gave him a tiny smile at the request, reached upward and slipped her hand inside of his.