Reading over some of this story...I can remember how fun it was to write heh, Sev's character was hard to keep real though he kept wanting to get all fluffy on me...

Mistress Slytherin

Chapter 4

Damian stumbled as he landed in the small clearing of the forbidden forest. The smell of cedar, ashes and blood lingered on him as a burst of fresh air hit his nostrils and he fell back as the impact of what he'd just done hit him. He'd been a fool he realized, he'd thought and thought and thought of destroying the people that had harmed Snape, he'd thought about it and relished the idea of it, but now, in the aftermath of actually doing it…

He turned his head to the side and threw up everything he'd eaten that day.

He retched several times until his stomach could pull no more and he was left sobbing kneeling before a puddle of his own sick. What an utter fool he'd been! How many people had died due to his actions? People with families and friends, people who had walked the wrong path to be sure, but people never the less.

No.

He couldn't think like that. True what he'd done was horrible, it was terrible. It was something that would haunt him to the end of his days he was sure, but he couldn't let it rule his life or lay claim to it. He'd done it for a reason; he'd done it to set back Voldemort. He'd probably saved numerous lives with his actions.

He was still a monster though.

Because he knew deep inside of himself that he would do it again.

He'd seen those death eaters that had died tonight torture muggles that were helpless to defend themselves. He'd seen them violate children and break every code of conduct that wizards had lived by for centuries.

He could cling to that.

But he could also look in the mirror and know that after tonight he was no better than they were.

Slowly he stood and flicked his wand at the mess. With trembling fingers he reached into his pocket and pulled out his glasses placing them on the bridge of his nose. He let loose his hair trussed it properly and cast a spell on his clothes.

No one knew that he was a monster, no one would suspect it.

He took a deep breath and began walking towards the castle. He ignored the fine trembling in his hands and cast several freshening charms on his clothes as he walked. Snape would be back soon and Damian had to make sure that the man made it back to his rooms in one piece…Snape….He wanted to see Snape…

The thought circled the inside of his mind as he made the long trek to the castle and slipped through the doors. The sudden rush of warm air nearly knocked the wind from his lungs causing him to stagger backwards briefly before gathering his bearings.

He had to get to the door where Snape usually came in…His eyes trailed slowly in the direction he needed to go and his feet followed after a moment of hesitation. His foot falls echoed loudly in the silent halls and he idly wondered what time it must be as he made his way through the darkness.

"RRRRROOOOWWWW!" The sound startled him so much that he actually drew his and nearly cursed Filches cat to oblivion.

"What ave' we here then?" How had he not noticed the man behind him? Filches watery eyes flashed at the sight of the badge on his robes and a slow smile crept across his lips. Damian felt his jaw clench.

He was well aware of Filche's infatuation with Snape, it pissed him off to no end. He doubted Snape would ever return the favor but it pissed him off anyway. He couldn't stand the thought of Filch even talking to Snape.

"Ave to take you to Snape hmmm?" Filch said with a sly smile.

"Would you really interrupt his sleep for this?" Damian said through grit teeth. Filches smile slid away almost immediately.

"How about this," Damian said crossing his arms. "I will clean one area of your choice if you leave me be and don't bother the professor." He said easily. Filches eyes became greedy.

"Follow me then." Filch said. Damian glanced towards the direction where Snape would come in and sighed before following Filch. It would be good for him to pour his restless magic into something productive, honestly he hoped Filch gave him something good or he just might end up wandering the halls and sending cleaning spells in every direction. He hadn't noticed how unstable his magic was becoming.

The elves clean some of the castle but most of it they jus leave to me, as if I got all the time in the world." Filch sneered before pushing the doors to the great hall open. Damian glanced around and nodded before turning to Filch who was grinning as though expecting him to back out.

"You know, perhaps we could arrange something." He said allowing his magic to seep out and spread across the room in a rush. Filch let out a gasp and stumbled back as the powerful magic slid over him. Damian focused it, gave it a purpose and then let his magic sweep across the room. Scrubbing sounds could be heard and sweeping sounds, and the swish of polish, Damian stopped watching as the room steadily grew cleaner and cleaner. "But first I would have to see what you could possibly have to offer me." Damian said with a shrug.

"I'll let you wander the halls all you like; I won't say nothin' to no one if I see you." Filch said wetting his lips nervously.

"It's a start." Damian agreed slowly as his magic crawled back into him.

"I can spy for you, lotta kids say stuff while I'm around, they don't care if I hear." Filch said with a jerky nod as his eyes drifted towards the hall which was now cleaner than it had ever been and smelled faintly of lemongrass.

"How about this." Damian said calmly. "I will clean one room of your choice per month if you do those things. If I have a request to make that I think you can fill then I will offer to clean another room of your choice." He said tilting his head to the side. Filch nodded sharply and held out a grubby hand.

"It's a deal." He rasped his eyes wide with greed. Damian didn't particularly want to touch that hand though.

"I am a traditionalist Filch." He said holding out his hand and cutting his palm. "A bargain has been struck do you accept the terms?" He said tilting his head to the side. Filch held out his own hand and cut it with a pocket knife.

"I accept." He said with a reverent nod. He might be a squib but he still came from an old family. Magic pulsed once before settling around them.

"Good night Filch." Damain said with a nod. In true tradition squibs were viewed as people to be pitied and at times protected. If a wizard attacked a squib it was considered to be very bad taste and said wizard would most certainly find himself shunned from most circles. Recently though this tradition had faded and it had become socially acceptable for squibs to be insulted and picked on, it was pathetic really, wizards should be better than something so petty.

He slipped back through the halls this time casting the necessary charms as he went and found Snape storming towards the headmaster's office undoubtedly to tell him what had happened during the meeting. The man looked exhausted though and he couldn't help but wish that he would go to sleep and tell the headmaster in the morning. With a sigh he followed slipping into the opening before the gargoyle guarding the headmaster's office could close. He followed Snape up the steps and waited with him as he knocked his eyes panicked and dark with swirling emotions.

"Come in!" The headmaster called sounding slightly harried. Damian followed Snape into the office and cursed when several of the devices around the room began to spin and beep. The headmaster who was in the middle of tying his dressing robe blinked sleepily for a moment before snorting.

"No use hiding now Mister Vermont." He said cheerily. Damian nearly cursed aloud as Dumbledore clicked his fingers and dropped his various charms he was using. Damian grit his teeth and crossed his arms trying not to look at Snape. Snape stared at him blankly for a moment his mind whirring behind his eyes.

"Vermont?" He said with a frown.

"Oh don't be so surprised Severus, after all who is it you thought took care of your injuries every time you came back from a meeting?" Damn him. Damian narrowed his eyes and his magic lashed out before he could stop it shattering the tea pot Dumbledore was lifting. Blue eyes rose slowly to asses him.

"You say unnecessary things light lord." He bit out. Dumbledore flicked his wand and cleaned the mess before sitting down in his seat.

"And why should I keep your secrets when you are no ally to me?" Dumbledore said quirking an eyebrow.

"We have already discussed this issue headmaster, or should I repeat myself? I see the way you treat even the people you claim to love, you are just like the dark lord in that respect." He spat coldly. The headmaster narrowed his gaze and stared at him for a long moment.

"Is something wrong Vermont?" He said calmly. "You seem…agitated." He said diplomatically. Damian ground his teeth and let out a curse before reaching into his robes and pulling out a calming potion. He really was a mess, and now Snape knew things that he wasn't supposed to. This was spiraling out of control quickly.

"Vermont?" Snape was gazing at him now, eyes suspicious but also bearing a glint of concern.

"I'm fine." He said calmly as the potion began to work through him.

"Where did you go tonight Mister Vermont?" The headmaster asked pointedly. Damian stiffened. "I know that you left Hogwarts, you cannot lie to me." He said gazing at him from over the rim of his glasses.

"There was an emergency that I needed to attend to." He said coolly.

"Do not make me call for your grandfather Mister Vermont. Where did you go?" The headmaster repeated. Vermont stilled his mind working quickly. If Dumbledore knew that he'd left tonight then it was possible that he knew every time he left and it wouldn't be too hard to match the pattern with that of the death eater meetings. The expression on the man's face said it all, Damian was immediately offended. With a sneer he lifted his sleeve and bared his pale arm, there was no mark there.

"I told you already that I would not join the dark lord." He said lifting his chin.

"Yet you go to his meetings, why?" Dumbledore pressed. Snape let out a hiss and Damian was surprised to see the man step in front of him a protective arm blocking Dumbledore.

"Headmaster if he indeed went to the meeting tonight then he is in no frame of mind to be interrogated." Snape said firmly his magic flowing around him. Damian felt some of the tension fade as Snape's magic touched his. It wasn't fair. Snape could calm him so easily, yet…yet Damian knew that he may never have the chance to be with the one that he loved. His chest ached.

"What do you mean?" The headmaster demanded. Damian closed his eyes and listened to Snape's voice as he retold the events from tonight in detail. He felt so tired suddenly, as though he'd been running for hours without stopping. It had been a very long day he decided.

"I've never seen anything like it; if it was a potion then it is one that I have never heard of." Damian grit his teeth and tried to ignore the disgust in Snape's voice.

"And what do you think mister Vermont?" The headmaster said gravely his blue eyes glittering. Damian forced himself to be calm.

"I think that whatever the dark lord might have been planning has been set back, you now have time to train your golden boy and ready him for this war." He said calmly. "I don't think it matters who did this since they obviously didn't do it to you." He said with a lift of his chin.

"Even though Severus might have been injured tonight?" The headmaster said coolly.

"He wouldn't have been because I wouldn't have allowed it." Damian said a protective urge coming forward in him.

"And how far would you be willing to go to protect him?" Dumbledore said leaning forward. Damian felt his magic lash around him.

"You will not manipulate me light lord." He said calmly his magic cooling the room several degrees.

"Dear merlin it was you?" Severus' startled voice snapped him back to the presence.

"I thought so." Dumbledore said tiredly before leaning back and rubbing his eyes. Damian glanced between them in confusion.

"Your magic, your anger- that's what it felt like tonight." Snape said his jaw clenched his eyes flashing in thought. "What did you do?" Snape demanded. Damian stared at the two of them as his mind tried to process what had just happened. Dumbledore had manipulated him into becoming angry because he wanted Snape to recognize that anger. He could salvage this- but one look at Snape and he was willing to sell all the secrets of his soul.

"Candles." He said softly before looking away unable to bear the weight of Snapes gaze.

"Candles?" Snape said incredulously at first. Damian glanced at him and saw the realization dawning on Snape's face. "The rain- of course it wasn't rain at all it was wax from the candles- Lucius said that he felt it but when it landed it disappeared…" He gazed to the side in thought before his eyes widened and then narrowed. "You- you would betray Arbutus like that?" He said in shock. Before frowning again in thought. "No…whatever you do he does and visa versa…"

"Arbutus…the plant which means thee only do I love." Dumbledore said slowly. "You are Arbutus, the or more commonly known 'the tea maker' aren't you Mister Vermont?" The headmaster said narrowing his gaze. Damian looked away. This was a disaster, how had everything come crashing down around his ears?

"No…" Snape's voice sounded pained, it was a sound that he never wanted to see again.

"I only meant to stir the death eaters up." He said looking away. "I've never used those candles because I was afraid of what they would do if they fell into the wrong hands. Now I know that I was right to fear them. My creation…was an abomination, the darkest recesses of my soul loosed. I think it was the Feindfyre that did it, the candles are meant to burn slowly, but I knew that Malfoy had noticed them and I couldn't risk the dark lord learning of them. The very idea that he would try to use them- is unthinkable." He said shaking his head in horror. "But I didn't know that they would have that effect when burnt all at once." He said pursing his lips. "It isn't an excuse though, I know what I did by creating them, I should have destroyed them in a safer manner. Those creations will never again be used I can assure you." He said through gritted teeth.

"My information tells me that the dark lord was planning a massacre next week." Dumbledore said after a moment. "I have no idea when or where he was planning to attack however I know in detail what he would have done and I also know that I would not have been able to stop it." Dumbledore leaned back slightly and nodded carefully. "You might not have meant to but your actions saved the lives of hundreds of people tonight." Dumbledore said with a small smile. Damian felt disgust well up inside of him.

"And those people, the ones that I-I killed through my carelessness, do their lives not matter at all to you? They too had families and friends headmaster, you can not put a band aid on what I did and make me out to be a hero." He growled. Dumbledore nodded slowly.

"We send soldiers to battle, tell them to kill and then treat them like hero's all the time Vermont; such is the way of war." He said calmly. Damian sneered.

"And that is precisely the thinking that keeps me from joining you Light Lord. You may think yourself better than the dark lord but in many ways you are the same."

"I'm afraid that you have no choice but to join the light side mister Vermont." Dumbledore said with a slow smile. "After all you just confessed to murdering several men and women in cold blood. In the eyes of the law it does not matter that you didn't know what was going to happen, guilt by omission is not a plausible argument." He said his voice bearing just a hint of smug glee. Damian stared at the headmaster in shock for several long moments.

"You will not drag my student into this war Albus." Snape said coldly. Damian looked at the man in shock, he'd thought that Snape would hate him after seeing what he'd done and hearing that he'd lied about Arbutus.

"Of course not, however I will use this as blackmail against him unless he agrees to train and protect Harry Potter." He said leaning back in his seat with cold hard eyes.

"You must be joking." Damian said incredulously. "Potter doesn't even have a firm grasp on basic magical theory let alone the more complex spells he'll have to know in order to fight fully trained dark witches and wizards! Not to mention that he has the maturity level of a second year and the attention span of a gnat!" He said with a sneer.

"He has a point headmaster." Snape said dryly.

"Which is why you will be helping him Severus." Dumbledore said cheerfully.

"Ecxuse me?" Damian shivered as heady magic rolled over him. Snape's voice was little more than a low purr.

"Oh come now Severus, you wouldn't leave Lily's child in the hands of someone who just admitted to committing murder now would you?" The headmaster said calmly.

Lily?

Damian glanced at Snape and a sinking feeling filled him at the brief flash of longing he could see in the man's eyes. Hadn't the headmaster mentioned it before? That Snape had loved a woman once?

"How dare you-" Snape bit off abruptly his face white with rage. "You will live to regret this headmaster I swear it." He hissed before grabbing Damian's wrist and storming out of the office. Damian winced at the bruising grip but followed without argument as he was dragged down the dark halls and in the direction of what he knew was Snape's quarters. Snape only let him go once they were inside before making a bee line to the liquor cabinet and pouring two glasses of liquor. Snape caught his skeptical glance and snorted.

"Don't worry Vermont, these are for me." He said before knocking one back. Damian wisely stood quietly and watched Snape whip out his wand and summon a wooden dummy before casting several spells in quick succession only stopping when the dummy exploded and he had to take another long drink.

"You are Arbutus?" Snape demanded eventually. Damian nodded slowly.

"Yes." He agreed quietly as he eyed the man warily.

"You killed half of the dark lord's forces tonight and left a majority of the other half maimed, some of them are permanently blind you know-" Damian flinched when the man suddenly whipped around gaze intent. "You healed me." He said his gaze unreadable. "Albus would never have done that." He added coldly.

"Yes." Damian said when Snape remained silent. His heart was pounding in his chest and his head hurt from the stress of it all.

"You healed me…" Snape said slowly. "Went to death eater meetings- why did you? You know how dangerous that is?" He said suddenly sounding both angry and afraid. Damian didn't speak, he knew what would happen next and it caused his heart to thud up into his throat making it impossible to do anything other then stand there and wait for the inevitable. Dark eyes surveyed him, dissected him, his actions his motives, and Damian knew what he would see. Every action he'd taken, every move he'd made, had been made around Snape. Dark eyes widened in shock as the gears behind them finally issued the answer. "Arbutus…" He rasped. "Thee only do I love." He whispered. Damian felt his eyes slip closed. He swayed slightly as his body reacted to the stress and had to grip the back of one of the chairs to keep from falling.

"The love of a Vermont is steadfast and unwavering." Damian said quietly. "It does not ever falter and it is all encompassing. A Vermont may only ever love once in their life and when they do love there is nothing in this world that would keep them from the person they love, thus is their determination." He managed to say though his throat was tight and he felt sick again.

"Leave."

Damian didn't even open his eyes.

He fled.