A.N. This one is the result of too much YouTube
Disclaimer, I own neither the Harry Potter series nor any other series mentioned or involved in this. If you believed that I did, you've probably got a head-crab and aren't reading this anyway.
To whom it may concern,
I will admit, you've gone the whole nine yards with this crap (Seriously, training an owl just for some prank on a kid, don't you have anything better to do?).
But even if this was real, there's no way I'm going to England just to learn to pull a rabbit out of a hat or some crap, and my Uncle certainly isn't leaving his kick-ass job at Black Mesa for this crap.
And, to be honest, I'd have to guess one of you was responsible for me ending up at the Durselys, and while he is a heavy drinking, violent (Towards others, not me) and all around neurotic son-of-a-bitch, my uncle and current guardian is a damn sight better than them.
Don't piss him off, he will kick you ass.
So, in short, piss off,
Harry Freeman
A.N. For those not familiar, do a search for Freeman's Mind