December 29th,2004

Today was really exciting! I met Elliot and Olivia before they had to talk to the Captain. Then I talked to Fin and Munch; those two are a riot! I was laughing a lot with them. They're so cool.

Then we left that building and walked a few blocks down to where Casey actually works. I met her boss, who seemed cool, and then we went to her office, which is huge! Casey doesn't think so, but I really think she's exaggerating.

We're going home in a few minutes. So far, Casey hasn't mentioned anything about my arm, so I'm in the clear right now. But then again, anything is possible.

Danielle unlocked the door to the apartment and opened it, as Casey followed her with a large takeout bag of Chinese they bought on the way home. Danielle put the keys on the table and walked to her room, while Casey placed the takeout on the table. Then, she decided to go into the kitchen.

She was looking at the knives, but they looked clean. Then she opened the drawer and saw the scissors. She took them out of the drawer and looked at them carefully. Sure enough, there was one or two specks of blood on the scissors. Casey was forming tears in her eyes. "How could Danielle possibly do this to herself?" she thought, as she slowly walked in the hallway and knocked on Danielle's open door

" You know, you couldn't get away with murder since you don't know how to clean up the evidence" Casey said.

Danielle looked up and saw her older sister with the pair of scissors that she used to cut herself yesterday.

"Shit" Danielle thought.

" I didn't kill anyone, Casey" she said.

" I know"

Casey placed the scissors on the desk and sat down with Danielle on the bed. Danielle saw that her eye were watery with tears, and Danielle knew that Casey was worried.

" Danielle, you have to be completely honest with me, okay?" Casey asked.

"Okay."

The fact that Casey was really worried and about to cry, frightened Danielle. She's never seen her like this, but maybe it was because her sister was a toddler and didn't need to worry about situations like this.

" Danielle, Olivia saw a bandage on your arm today...I...Did you, hurt yourself?"

Danielle didn't say anything. She couldn't say anything ,what if Casey thought she was crazy like her ex-fiance, Charlie? But she saw Casey started to cry, and Danielle had no idea if she should tell Casey the truth or not: What was she suppose to do?

" Yes" Danielle said. Now she was getting teary-eyed.

" Why? Was it because I yelled at you yesterday?"

"I...I don't know. I don't want to talk about it."

February 9th,2005

Before I go in a depressive state, I need to say that for me, it was awkward staying with my sister for the next two days I was there, but I tried to make the best of it.

Then, I came home.Which brings me to my depressive state.

I came home today and I was watching Tv when my step-mother comes down into the basement and starts screaming at me. She told me that my English teacher called because I was refusing to read. She told me that "if I don't cut the shit" she's going to make sure she'll make my life a living hell. She'll take me out of math team and all my music activities. No Tv, no computer ,no friends; just me and my studies for the rest of the year. Then she left the house.

I can't deal with this anymore. It's the same old thing. My step-mom yells at me to be perfect, and my dad does nothing. And Casey isn't here to protect or even help me. Ever since I got home, she's been swamped with cases.

My conclusion: I'm getting a sharp knife and killing myself. I'll slit my wrist. Maybe someone will care by then...

" I don't know what to tell you. You can't arrest him because you have nothing on him."

Casey and the Captain just witnessed Elliot interrogate a man that may have raped and killed two women, but the man refused to talk.

Suddenly, Casey's cell phone starts ringing.

"Excuse me Captain" she said as she flipped open the phone.

"Casey Novak. Dad, What happened? Oh no, is she alive? Dad, I'm working on a big case, but I can see what I can do. Okay, bye."

Casey hung up and flipped her phone shut. It looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

"Casey, are you all right?" the captain asked.

" My sister tried to kill herself…"

" Say no more" the captain said " I'll call your boss and you can go into Connecticut to see her."

Casey ran out of the office, the squad room, and out of the building faster than any other woman in high heels ran before.

February 9th,2005

And here I am, in the hospital. I'm surprised that I'm not in a straightjacket.

" Danielle, you have a visitor."

Danielle looked up and saw her older sister Casey, standing in the doorway. Then she saw Casey crying and running to her bed.

" I'm glad you're all right!"

She gave Danielle a hug and tried not to hurt Danielle's bad arm. Danielle hugged her back with the one arm she could use. Then Casey let go, grabbed a chair and sat down next to Danielle's bed.

"Danielle, what made you do this to yourself?" Casey cried.

Danielle couldn't say anything. She froze and looked down. Casey grabbed a kleenex and wiped her eyes.

"Danielle, nothing is going to get fixed if you don't talk to me."

" I don't want to."

" Danielle, let me tell you something you might not have realized when you were younger" Casey said "When I was 13, I started having an eating disorder. My friends ordered me to talk, but I'd either freeze like you are or yelled at them to leave me alone. But do you know what happened when I didn't talk? I got worse. When you were 4, I was send to the hospital because my eating disorder got the best of me. And finally, I had to talk because my life was on the line. My point is, that if you keep everything inside you, this is going to get worst. I'm here for you, Danielle..."

Casey started crying again. She grabbed a few more kleenex to wipe her eyes and blow her nose.

" I'm sorry" she said quietly " I'm usually..."

" Strong" Danielle said " You're usually the strong, defense attorney type. I know."

Casey didn't say anything and looked at her.

" Maybe I will talk, since you came up here to visit me" Danielle said " The thing is, when you left for college dad married someone else, and she's a total bitch."

" How can you say that?"

" She keeps on yelling at me, telling me that I'm not good enough" Danielle says as she starts crying " It's been that way since I was 12. She's been pushing me over the edge, and here I am, at the edge."

" Does Dad do anything about it?"Casey asked.

"No, he never does. He doesn't say anything" Danielle says " No one cares about me..."

" I do" Casey said "I care. If I didn't, do you think that I would be visiting?"

" You have a point, but you can only stay up here for so long before you're back in New York City doing your job" Danielle said.

"I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone down there..."

"Don't blame yourself for this like you did with Charlie, Case" Danielle said "It's only going to drive you crazy. Just do your job and be the sister that I've always known."