Alive or Dead

He couldn't keep clinging to the computer forever.

Bann's voice had stopped coming through the speakers hours ago already.

Laes sat up on the floor and wiped more tears away.

If the guards had come by at all he hadn't noticed…

His hand reached and grasped the metal desk. Then very slowly he pulled himself to his feet.

His legs were trembling; he didn't feel steady enough to let go of the desk. He was standing at least which was probably a good sign that the drugs were wearing off.

Laes stared at his former cellmate's cot. The Irkens hadn't bothered to remove it.

Lard Nar was free and where he belonged. Thinking about this gave him some comfort.

His father seemed to be alive but in some kind of comatose state… so he'd probably been talking to his real father inside the virtual reality program.

His father also said his mother was alive.

The Irkens hadn't killed his parents yet… but his father could be dying.

He couldn't let himself dwell on it. He lightly smacked the side of his face, hoping to snap himself out of crying again.

"Bann?" he called, but just like the past few hours the former Irken was silent.

Bann's data had started transferring to the hologram device long before he was killed by Darden. It was impressive how an Irken's PAK could do this, but then the original PAK technology had come from people far more advanced than Vortians were right now.

Did the Tallest know about this? How had the Irkens been able to work with and alter such impressive technology?

His eyes widened a little in realization.

The Control Brains.

Of course… no wonder the Irkens considered those computers so important. Apparently the Control Brains were the collective data of all the Irkens from the past. Well… some of them anyway.

Laes assumed if an Irken's pak was destroyed or they were found guilty on Judgementia they wouldn't be included.

But what if it wasn't just Irken data in the Control Brains? What if the nameless race was also apart of the collective?

Laes wobbled over to his cot and collapsed face-down on the rock hard mattress. Ouch. He really should remember not to do that.

Now he'd lost his train of thought. He squeezed his eyes closed and curled up on his side.

After a while he heard the familiar boot steps of the guards and the clatter of the metal tray. He could feel the emptiness weighing like a pit in his stomach, but he couldn't make himself get up.

Still, he kept hoping to hear Bann's voice. A part of him just wanted to know he really had an ally here… even if his ally was just a computer program… or something.

Laes wasn't too sure what to think about Bann's explanation.

"Laes..." Bann's crackling voice came through the speakers on the computer. Laes eyes snapped open as he fell out of his cot and scrambled over to the monitor so he could hear him better.

"Laes." Bann's voice sounded a little clearer.

"I'm here Bann," Laes spoke.

He wanted to cry again. Why was he being so emotional all of a sudden?

"I found Veena."

"You did?" Laes questioned, sitting up and wiping away his tears. He sucked in a breath as he tried to calm himself.

Hold on… how did Bann know about Veena? Was he somehow able to overhear everything? How much did he know?

"W-wait… how do you know about…?" he started to ask, but then he thought he might not like the answer so he stopped.

It was too late though since Bann decided to answer anyway.

"I'm able to enter your dreams, so..."

Laes flushed. "I-I don't dream about her!" he stammered awkwardly.

"Ok... sure..." Bann didn't sound very convinced, but he continued. "Do you want me to pass on a message to her?"

Laes chewed his bottom lip, and he dangled his legs over the side of the bed.

What could he possibly say to her right now? He wasn't sure. They were both imprisoned, and the chances of them escaping were pretty much zero. He also didn't know her very well.

"It's fine. You don't have to say anything."

"Are you in their network right now?" Laes decided to change the subject.

"Yes… and I've figured out a lot of their system… I can take down the barriers and probably cause a helk of a power outage."

Laes let out a sigh. "Why are you doing this Bann…? I thought… I mean you're still Irken right? You should want to help your people."

There was a long pause. Then Bann sighed. Even though his voice was coming from the speaker, it was very clear as though he was standing in the room.

"They aren't my people, and I am no longer Irken."

"Well… I mean," Laes fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "Technically you're just data right now, but with the kind of technology Irk and Vort have we could figure something out… I mean, if we inputted your data into a robot you could at least move freely… or if that doesn't work maybe another PAK could..."

"Laes, I'm dead. You need to accept this… even if I was able to return to an Irken body, I would not be completely myself..." he paused for a moment before adding. "Who I was before died with my body. What I am right now is the remaining data of whatever my PAK was able to salvage before it was destroyed… so please don't worry about me."

"You told me yourself that Irkens are mostly the data in your PAKs," Laes started to argue.

Why was he arguing with him? He covered his face and shook his head.

"If your memories and personality and everything that makes you you is still around, then how can you be gone?"

Bann let out a small sigh. "I can't feel anything anymore Laes."

"Were you able to feel anything before?" Laes tried to joke although I came out more awkward than he was expecting.

"Laes," Bann interrupted a bit more forcefully. "You know programs, codes, and all of that stuff. What I am right now is very similar to an artificial intelligence program that runs inside the system of some of the more advanced ships your people have come up with… How I respond has nothing to do with feelings. It's all just data from my PAK when I was alive."

Laes brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs.

"For example: if your memories and your personality were used as one of those artificial pilot things… it may very well believe its self to be you, and in every way besides it's container it would be… but this artificial intelligence is now it's own separate identity . It is separate and distinct from its former host… does this make sense?

I am not the same as the Bann who died. I'm not the original. I'm just a copy."

"Yeah… I don't remember you being this philosophical…" Laes admitted quietly.

"I had some time to go over past information. It's not like I can do a whole lot else when I'm not connected to a network."

"Oh..." For some reason Laes didn't want this topic of conversation to drop. "But Bann... even if you're different from the original Bann, that doesn't mean you're not Bann."

It sounded like Bann cleared his throat despite the impossibility of him actually being able to do so.

"Have you figured out what you want to do?"

He was changing the subject... maybe it was time to move on from this.

"Yeah..." Laes replied, shutting his eyes. "I'm done running... I just want to stay here... on Vort."

"Are you sure...?" Bann questioned, sounding disappointed. "I can get you out of here Laes."

"And just what's out there Bann?" Laes asked him. "The worms are killing everything... I've seen what they do... and if the Irkens are really going to fight them seriously then I'm better off here building weapons... I know how to do that. I can design, construct, modify... but I can't fight. All I'd be doing out there is running away... running from one "safe place" to the next..."

He could feel tears gathering in his eyes, and his vision blurred. He'd been crying way too much lately, but he couldn't make himself stop.

"Lard Nar knew that... that's why when I asked to leave the Resisty he didn't say anything... I'm not a fighter. Sometimes I wish I was... but I'm not."

"You have been fighting Laes..." Bann corrected.

Oh Vort... it sounded like the Irken was standing in the room with him. The dead soldier's voice was so clear, but if he looked around he knew all he'd see was an empty room surrounded by an electrical force-field.

"You've been fighting for your life since you first left Vort... you were willing to do whatever it took to live... there is courage in that."

Laes managed a small chuckle. "No," he shook his head. "I'm a coward. I ran from Darden when you were hurt... that's how you got killed."

"That's not being a coward Laes," Bann breathed a sigh. "That's being smart... unless you honestly thought you could fight Darden one on one, fighting him would have gotten you killed."

Bann paused for a moment before adding, "like it got me killed... besides I told you to run. You did the right thing."

"It still almost got me killed," Laes corrected, shifting so he was lying down on his side.

He curled into a ball and closed his eyes. He'd probably just end up sleeping until the guards hauled him away somewhere else...

"If the Tallest didn't stop him I'd be dead right now... if it weren't for you and Lard Nar I'd be dead too because I really don't have any survival skills... I've been relying on everyone else to keep me alive."

"Which is reasonable considering you never left Vort before," Bann concluded. There was more static in the Irken's... in the program's voice. "If you want to stay here I won't stop you, because I can't, but I can try to free your father from the mind-trap they have him in. If the device is connected to any kind of life support however..."

"It's fine Bann..." Laes responded. His body felt heavy and his mind beginning to drift off. "I... I just need some time to get over remembering my niece's death... that's all... and dad will probably wake up eventually... he's not brain dead I think... so there's still some hope he will."

"Well... ok... I will... be..." Bann's voice was lost in the static.

Laes lay on the uncomfortable mattress for quite a while before he was able to make himself move. He grabbed his pillow and blanket and placed them under his cot. He crawled underneath it and rested his head on the cool pillow.

The floor really was more comfortable.

A few minutes later, he was asleep.

A general feeling of relief left everyone feeling more talkative. The atmosphere was definitely lighter now that they were able to secure a second ship and all of its passengers. Their base was also currently being displayed on the monitors.

Lard Nar thought Ixane and the children had perished... but here they were safe and relatively unhurt.

Darden was with them.

The Irken had apparently rescued the second ship's crew who'd been stranded after the crash, and it was his vessel they decided to use.

Darden insisted he wasn't giving it to them and that they were taking it against his will... however he hadn't tried to stop them, and he hadn't complained about it since.

With the Spittle Runner they could probably fly deeper into Irken controlled space. Then they wouldn't need to worry so much about the worms...

He wondered if Shloonktapooxis was considering this... their current base was hidden on a desolate moon of a large gas planet near a sector that had fallen under Irken control four months ago.

He waited for the ship's movement to stop and the engines to be cut before following some of the crew out into the hallway. They were about to meet up with the rest of their members.

Fourteen of them had stayed behind to maintain this place. One of them was Spleenk's father... the poor guy had already lost a son.

Lard Nar chewed his bottom lip and clasped his arm.

He was going to have to explain that Kleep was gone now too, lost to the jungle planet.

The Resisty wasn't a very big movement, but they had allies... or at least people who were willing to help them out occasionally.

Meekrob, Plookesia, Bludon, and the underground of Foodcourtia had been helping them secure weapons, food, and other necessary supplies. With Foodcourtia under heavy Irken surveillance, Meekrob under lock-down, Plookesia destroyed, and Bludon completely taken over and possibly gone, they no longer had access to their usual resources.

There were still people he knew on other planets who knew of the Resisty but weren't a part of it. They wouldn't be much help though.

It wasn't his problem. He kept trying to tell himself this.

Shloonktapooxis was the one in charge now, but the current captain kept glancing at him with a hopeful look on his face... some of the other members were starting to look at him that way too.

He couldn't help them. He couldn't do it... he would just make things worse.

Suddenly he was jolted out of his thoughts when he walked into something... He felt a hand clasp his shoulder, and he looked up at the Irken soldier scowling down at him.

"If all Vortians are this absent minded; it's amazing your species is still around at all," Darden grumbled.

Darden release him and he stumbled backwards, his eyes wide and his muscles tense.

The Irken didn't seem interested in attacking him however.

"If you're going to think that intensely, you should do it while you're inactive," Darden remarked, folding his arms over his chest.

"Why are you here...?" Lard Nar asked, rooting himself in place for now.

Some of his crew had stopped to watch the exchange. A few had their hands on their weapons.

"I know you can overpower us... so why don't you steal back your ship? You could leave right now and tell your superiors where we are..."

One of the Irken's antennae flicked forward, and his expression became more neutral.

"I was not ordered to report your location, so why would I?"

"Because you hate us?" Lard Nar responded, and he winced when Darden began scowling again.

The Irken looked him up and down, and something like a stone settled in the pit of his stomach. He knew what the soldier was seeing: something small and weak. Did the Irken think they were too pathetic to attack?

"I only hate one of you," Darden corrected him. "I feel nothing but indifference towards the rest."

That wasn't a reassuring statement. Lard Nar rubbed his temples. As far as he was concerned Irkens were malicious and cruel beings... he didn't exactly hate them, but he had no trust or respect for them either.

Having Darden here would only put the Resisty at risk... yet if they tried to detain him without Laes present, they could be killed.

Darden breathed a sigh as he lowered his arms. He looked completely unguarded, but at any moment he could use his PAK and clear out the whole ship.

"I understand the reason for your hostility, but I have not come here to cause trouble for you. If detaining me would make things easier then feel free to do so."

Would the Irken really allow himself to be captured?

When Laes was with them Darden followed him around obediently enough. Had the Tallest really extended their protection to Laes? Why would they do that...? Was it possible that his former co-worker was important somehow...?

If Laes was valuable to the Empire, then the guards wouldn't have cut off his hand. Lard Nar shuddered. The thought of it sent a shiver through him. As painful as it was getting beaten and having his fingers cut off and his eye removed, the worst part was watching Laes get dragged into this mess.

He shouldn't have blurted out his former co-worker's name... it didn't matter what they did to him, he should have kept quiet.

"Is he giving you trouble?" one of the taller cloaked members questioned. He was holding his gun although he hadn't pointed it yet.

Darden regarded the alien for a moment. He didn't appear to be concerned at all. Of course there was no reason for the Irken to be worried. No one here could stop Darden if the he decided to fight them.

"It's ok everyone," Shloonktapooxis cut-in as he drifted over to the group that had stopped.

Most of the crew had already left the landing site and had gone further into the structure built into the planet's solid rock surface.

"Let's take a few breaths and try to relax," their current captain spoke, managing a half-hearted smile. "Even though he's Irken, Darden rescued us all remember? I really don't think he'd save our lives if he was planning to kill us all horribly later."

"It would be a waste of energy and effort to do that," the Irken agreed.

Darden did rescue them... Lard Nar's gaze dropped to the ground and he turned to join the group who was beginning to walk away.

An Irken rescued them... why?

He glanced over his shoulder and saw Shloonktapoxis speaking with Darden.

Their current captain seemed willing to give the Irken a chance... but not everyone else would feel the same way. The Empire had slaughtered and enslaved too many people.

He didn't want to be near the soldier at all if he could help it. Every time he looked into those crimson red eyes he recalled too many painful memories.

He squeezed both his hands into fists. If they could kill the Irken without taking too much of a risk... but then what would Laes say...? He knew his former co-worker cared about this Irken for some reason.

The long dimly lit hallway they were walking through opened up into a large room filled with old monitors, bundles of wires, and many different sized crates. There was a single large bright light hanging high above in the center of the room.

In one of the corners were a few metal-framed bunk beds with flat mattresses and only a single blanket each. There wasn't enough for everyone to have there own.

The Spittle Runner wouldn't have any beds, and there were only a handful of sleeping places on board their only surviving ship. This meant everyone was going to have to sleep in rotations...

He wondered if Shloonktapooxis was aware of this yet.

Then he saw Spleenk's father Spleep busy soddering some wires together.

He sucked in a breath and held it for a moment as his mind hurried over what he would say. After hesitating for a while, he finally made his way over to him.

Spleep turned when he heard him approach, and the older member offered him a smile.

"I heard you were back... I'm glad to see you're still alive."

"Yes..." Lard Nar replied, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "We... we should talk..."

Spleep's smile vanished. Instead his expression just looked tired. "The last time you said that my son had died..." he responded, and one of his hands rested on his cheek.

"It's Kleep..." Lard Nar continued. There was a heaviness in his chest, and as he spoke his mouth could barely for the words he wanted to say. "I'm sorry..."

"I-I see..." Spleep responded. Tears gathered in his eyes. "How...?"

Lard Nar wished he could answer that question... but he didn't know what happened to Kleep. No one did. He slowly shook his head as he lowered his gaze to the floor.

"I'm sorry..." he repeated in a quiet voice.

Spleep collapsed to his knees and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook as he started sobbing.

Another member of the resistance was gone... lost in their fight for freedom.

This was the path the Resisty chose to take the moment they decided to resist the Empire.

He squeezed his hands into fists and bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood.

Every life was important; every death, painful.

Irkens would never understand.