sooo...hi again...yah, ive been updating real fast coz i'm bored and got nothing to do...so here is the next chapter...enjoy!

standard disclaimers apply

CHAPTER IV

Hurting you was never my intention. I wish I could've done something to repay you with everything that you have sacrificed for us. I could sense it within you that you love Kenshin as much as I love him. You never did show it to anyone but, I could see through you… I can see how much it hurt you to see me pick up Kenshin and hold him in my arms every day. It confused me however how you always came up to us and manage to hide everything you feel and put on one of those smiles you always gave us. It could have fooled anyone, could have made anyone think that you were okay with everything when you weren't.

You are a smart and very beautiful young lady but I always thought that you lost all sense of self- respect within you while loving him. I pitied you for making such a fool of yourself… for still keeping your hopes up. I always thought that you were my biggest competition for Kenshin… always thought of you stealing him away from me. I hated you for that when it was clear that the battle is won, that he chose me and not you. It angered me everyday seeing you with him because you have no right and you were only his best friend.

And so, there came the day that I was able to gather up my courage and confront you. I came up to you, eyes flashing with anger. But you only smiled with what I said… a smile, I noticed, different from the ones you used to show when in front of Kenshin and myself. It was then that I felt you opening yourself slowly to me.

"Even if I do love him, it wouldn't matter. He loves you, not me."

You caught me by surprise then that I had nothing to say back to you.

"You don't need to worry about anyone or anything. Kenshin's happy with you," you smiled again.

"But are you happy?" before realizing what I had just said.

"I'm happy when he's happy," you said. There was a brief silence between us just as then you spoke. "Tomoe-san, excuse me but I don't want to be late for my next class," your face tightening into worry. "I'm very sorry but I need to go," you bowed at me and took off on the direction of your homeroom.

I was still staring blankly at one corner unmoving, thinking back all the words you said and letting it sink in one by one. I felt numb and cold all over realizing how much I have took all your gestures wrongly… how I judged you so easily back then. I was horrible for letting my anger and hatred consume all of me and block my vision of you when all you had was love for Kenshin and your intention of making him happy no matter what the cause.

You are indeed a wonderful person sacrificing so much for the one you love even if it meant you ending up unhappy and alone. I salute you for doing this because I know I can't do the same for you when the tables are turned because I love Kenshin too much and I can't bear to let him go. I felt so ashamed of myself. Felt unworthy for Kenshin. But you never seemed to care much about the incident and everyday you made me feel that I deserved Kenshin.

It has then come to my understanding that what I thought was a flash of hope within you was nothing more but a fire growing dimmer and dimmer each day… that chances were slim and that hope was never to be found.

Nothing I can do would ever measure to what you have done for me. I can only thank you for it, for making me happy though I still know you love him too much. I know I don't have any right to say this but, I guess that letting him go would seem the most appropriate thing to do right now. We love each other. And I think that it should be enough for the both of us to be happy.