Long-Winded Proposals and Cliff Divers
The promotion ceremony has ended.
Norrington: Finally.
Norrington spots Elizabeth, and nervously walks over to her to give the proposal speech he prepared the night before. Elizabeth looks gorgeous and Norrington is a nervous wreck. He does the typical guy thing, babbling even more incoherently than Will did.
Norrington: Uh... Hi Elizabeth. Can I... uh, er... talk to a moment for you? No, I mean, talk to, uh, you, for a, um, moment?
Elizabeth smiles pleasantly, even though the corset is attempting to skoosh her.
Elizabeth: If you must.
Norrington and Elizabeth step over to the edge of the battlements overlooking the ocean. Elizabeth is fighting an epic battle against her corset, but Norrington is too busy trying to remember his speech to notice.
Norrington: Uhh... you look... nice... Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: That makes one of us.
Norrington: Thank you.
Elizabeth: That wasn't exactly a compliment...
Norrington: Hm. Gillette's fault, probably. Anyway... um, well, I don't want to scare you... I mean, I apologize if I seem backward... forward... but, uh... This promotion that which I have already not yet achieved...
Elizabeth: Huh?
Norrington: Crap, that wasn't right... Sorry, I'm nervous... I meant, this promotion throws into sharp relief that I desire a marriage to a fine achievement...
Elizabeth: No you don't...
Norrington realizes that he is not making sense at all. He has completely forgotten his beautifully planned speech, so he just blurts out what it is he is trying to say.
Norrington: Elizabeth, please marry me!
Startled by the Commodore's sudden bluntness, Elizabeth is speechless.
Elizabeth: I can't breathe...
Elizabeth's corset throws her off the battlements.
Norrington: Yes... I'm nervous too... Or maybe it's all the brocade...
Norrington notices that Elizabeth is not standing next to him anymore.
Norrington: Elizabeth? Where did you go?
Commodore Oblivious finally notices where Elizabeth went.
Norrington: Crap.
Norrington starts to take off his coat and prepares to dive after her. Gillette stops him.
Gillette: Sir, the rocks! It is only by chance that Miss Swann avoided a gruesome and untimely death. It would be a terrible thing if that fate were to befall you, sir, especially on this day of your promotion to the honorable rank of Commodore. Please, sir, take a less risky course of action, as this officer would be greatly distressed if you were to be injured in any way.
Norrington: Stop your babbling and take my coat.
Gillette: Yes, sir.
Norrington hurries down the steps of the battlements to be heroic.
Revised edition 2011!