Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own the Harry Potter world or the characters, Just manipulating them for our enjoyment!

Chapter 4 – Alone in Despair

(Friday September 5, 1996)

The rest of the week had dragged by for Hermione. She was still on autopilot, hardy paying attention to her surroundings. In classes, she only raised her hand once to answer questions before she was lost again in her thoughts. Her notes were messy and broken, missing key points from the lectures. She had distanced herself from everyone, only speaking when necessary to hold up appearances. There was no way she could handle being berated with questions yet. She was still trying to figure exactly how she felt about it all. She had been in denial, been angry, been relieved, been sad, but most of all she had been confused. It left her high-strung and ready to snap at any moment.

Hermione was sitting at a table in her common room working an essay for Charms. At least her situation hadn't affected her ability in doing her homework. The essay flowed from her quill naturally while she drowned in her emotions. The common room was empty since everyone was in the Great Hall for dinner. She had made a habit of skipping out on dinner over the week. She needed the alone time; it was exhausting to keep up the charade.

The portrait swung open and Harry and Ron walked in. "There you are. Where have you been, Mione?" Ron said taking the seat next to her.

"I have homework to do," she replied barely glancing up at them. She continued to write her essay as if she hadn't been interrupted.

"Is that the charms essay?" Ron asked looking over her shoulder to read it.

Hermione just nodded and continued to write. Harry took a seat at the table, a concerned look on his face.

"Something has happened," Harry started from across her. "There have been attacks in France and Germany," his voice soft and thoughtful.

Hermione sighed and looked up at him. She knew what he was trying to get at, but this was not a conversation she wanted to have now.

"That's so far away. The Order will handle it," she said dryly trying to end it before it started.

"It just feels like the Death Eaters are getting… restless," Harry continued.

She heard Ron shuffle around beside her, but kept her attention on Harry. What did he expect? They were underage still, and had two years left in school. There was a reason Dumbledore wouldn't let them join the Order yet.

"The Order will handle it. Hogwarts is safe and we need to focus on finishing school." She could not continue to talk about him. Her real mother was supposedly still with him and she felt torn with her emotions on that particular topic.

"Are you at least going to come to the next practice session?" Harry asked. She had skipped out on that this week too. And no, she did not intend to go to the next one.

"Yeah, I'll try," she lied before going back to her essay. She was appalled to see Ron taking notes off her work. Couldn't he do anything without her? That was it, she couldn't take them anymore.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" she snapped at him quickly pulling the parchment from his view. Her mask shattered, the anger was back redirected at them.

"I wasn't copying it! I was just getting some ideas," Ron snapped back.

"Did you just curse?" Harry asked surprised.

"Yes, I just cursed!" she yelled standing up, her fury contorting her face.

"I just needed some help," Ron tried to justify, his face red.

"You didn't even ask! And you need to start learning how to do things on your own," her breathing ragged and hands shaking.

"Hermione, calm down," Harry said softly.

"I can do plenty on my own! Stop being such a selfish bitch!" Ron yelled back furiously.

"Selfish bitch? Just because I won't let you copy my essay?" It was nice to know what he truly thought about her.

"No, you are a selfish bitch because you ditch us every chance you get, you won't even talk to us anymore, and you don't even care that He is planning something!" Ron screamed back.

"Ron now is not the time to -" Harry started but was cut off.

"You think I'm a selfish bitch too, Harry?" Hermione was ending this, now. "I expected more from you. Ron is moronic enough, but not you."

"I am not mor-" Ron tried.

"I don't think-" Harry started simultaneously.

"No! I've had enough with you two. Just, just stop talking to me and leave me the hell alone!" Hermione shouted before grabbing her bag and leaving the common room.

She went to the library to calm down until it was time for patrols. She knew she had to distance herself from them, but she hadn't expected it to be so easy. Harry just had to keep going on and on about Voldemort and his non-existent plans. And Ron just had to push her over the edge by copying her work. Normally she would have been glad to help him, but he hadn't even asked. She couldn't help but think lately that she wasn't going to be around them to help forever and it would be for their best interest if they started to learn how to manage without her.

Hermione took a deep breath, and pulled out her essay to finish before patrols. She didn't want to think about patrols. Ron was supposed to be her partner tonight, but of course that would have to change. And they just had to be paired with Slytherins tonight, which meant she'd be stuck with him. There was no way Pansy or Draco would split up just for their sake.

She finished her essay without a minute to spare, and headed out to the meeting for patrols. She arrived at the classroom to an argument.

"I'm not patrolling with the mudblood!" Pansy shrieked at Ron. So maybe Hermione had thought wrong about being stuck with Ron tonight.

"Pansy, just patrol with the weasel then," Draco sneered in response. He was leaning up against the wall with his arm crossed across his chest.

Great, I'm going to be stuck with Malfoy now, Hermione thought. She stood by the door waiting patiently for them to finish bickering.

"Don't tell me what to do, Draco," Pansy turned towards Draco. Well apparently they weren't getting along either.

"Parkinson, just suck it up. I don't want to patrol with her any more than you do," Ron said crossing his arms across his chest.

"If you three are done arguing like children, I suggest we get this over with," Hermione spoke calmly, losing her patience.

"Yeah, let's go, Parkinson," Ron seethed and turned to walk away.

Pansy shot her a death glare before turning to follow him out. "Have fun with the mudblood, Draco." She giggled.

"Well don't just stand there, Granger," Draco drawled walking towards the opposite corridor.

She followed, silently. Their footsteps echoed sharply in the hallways. She kept her head down, staring at her feet. Ten minutes went by without another word. Hermione looked over him. Why wasn't he trying to fight with her again?

"Do you like what you see, Granger?" Draco smirked, not even bothering to look over in her direction.

She looked back at her feet, idly flipping the photo in her pockets. That didn't deserve an answer. She just found it odd that he wasn't pestering her.

Another fifteen minutes passed.

"What did you do to the weasel?" Draco asked out of the blue, glancing her way to gauge her reaction.

Hermione just shrugged, and continued to walk in silence. Why would he want to know anyways?

Ten minutes passed again.

"Why are your friends ignoring you, did they finally come to their senses?" Draco asked bluntly. They were on the last corridor of the patrol.

"What friends?" Hermione finally spoke coldly, still looking at her feet. The photo grasped tightly in her hand.

Draco was taken by surprise, not that he would show it; surely she hadn't isolated herself. She was part of the Golden Trio, and they were currently looking for the same witch as he was. Or so he thought.

They reached the end of the patrol route and Hermione kept walking leaving Draco to his thoughts.

(Tuesday September 10, 1996)

Draco was sitting at the Slytherin table for dinner. He had to admit that Hermione had been confusing him lately. He couldn't dwell on it though; he had more important matters to think about. But she had read that book, what other explanation was there? And why had she been so angry by what she had read?

The evening owls flew in, and a parcel fell in front of Draco with a soft thud. He opened it and slowly read the letter.

Draco,

I hope you have been making progress. I have found something that may be useful for your search. I look forward to hear what you have completed.

Lucius

Behind the letter was a small photograph of a baby; the missing witch. As he had suspected, she had brown hair and brown eyes. Her hair was curly though, and her eyes, he could have sworn he's seen them. She looked so familiar, but he couldn't quite place her.

"Who's the letter from, mate?" Blaise asked trying to get a glimpse of the photo.

Draco quickly stuffed it in his pocket. "Why are you always so damn nosy?" he scoffed back.

"Just curious is all," he replied, returning to his meal.

"Well, don't be. It's none of your damn business," Draco replied, taking a sip of pumpkin juice. He glanced around the Great Hall, noticing that Hermione wasn't at the Gryffindor table.

"Have you noticed anything off about the Golden Trio lately?" Draco changed the topic, maybe they weren't really after the witch after all.

"Yeah, they've ditched the mudblood. About time too," Blaise answered readily.

"I bet she's vulnerable now. Might be time for me to strike," Theo snickered from across the table.

"Merlin, you're disgusting!" Draco replied.

"Again, it's just for a bit of fun. Then I'll put her in her place," his voice harder, more serious.

"Still, not worth the time," Draco drawled.

"Why do you ask?" Blaise asked. He could always tell when Draco was up to something.

"Just curious is all," he mocked.

"Very funny," Blaise said coldly.

"I thought so," Draco replied smugly.

"You have any luck with the Ravenclaws yet?" Theo asked snidely.

"Is my life really all you two can talk about?" Draco was getting sick of their questions.

"It's really the only thing we can talk about in public," Theo replied darkly.

"Then stop talking," Draco said, returning to his food. His friends really could be quite bothersome. It was worse now because he knew they could tell he was up to something, but he wasn't able to tell them what.

He excused himself and made his way out of the Great Hall for patrols. Maybe he would be able to get some information out of Hermione tonight. He didn't think Ron was going to be patrolling with her again anytime soon after so adamantly preferring him or Pansy to her. It was quite surprising but he wasn't complaining. Seeing the Golden Trio crumble was pleasing. She was considered to be the brains of the group, and they would be helpless without her.

Draco stopped at an empty classroom and let himself in, locking the door behind him. He pulled out the photo his father had sent him and began racking his mind for who it was he was staring at. Those eyes, he couldn't stop staring at those eyes. He knew who she was, he just couldn't place her. It was frustrating him to no end. He spent a few extra minutes memorizing her face, before putting it back away in his pocket and heading to patrols.

Hermione was walking down the corridors towards the meeting for patrols that night. She was sure she would be stuck with Draco again after last time. At least he didn't seem keen on picking fights with her though.

"What do we have here?" Theo said slyly as her emerged from a dark alcove in front of her.

She stopped at looked up at him. "What do you want, Nott?" she asked calmly.

"That's a good question, mudblood," he stalked closer to her. "I could think of a few things… and who knows? Maybe you'll get pleasure from it too," he said darkly, standing too close for her comfort.

"I assure you that anything you could want from me, would not give me any pleasure," she replied dryly trying to back away from him.

"You can't be too sure about that. I've been told that I have special… talents when it comes to giving girls… pleasure," Theo replied huskily, backing her up towards a wall.

"You can't be serious," she replied, and backed in to the wall.

"Oh, but I assure you I am." He looked her over hungrily while he placed his hands on the wall locking her in place.

Hermione was confused; why would he want to have anything to do with a mudblood? "Why would you want to be with a mudblood?" she asked coldly, watching his face.

He laughed menacingly. "I didn't say I wanted to be with you. I just thought with your friends out of the picture, you might need a… distraction."

She began to feel for her wand in her pockets, but he noticed and grabbed her arms to keep her still.

"Don't try to do anything you'll regret. Just relax," he said as he lowered his head down towards her.

No, this can't be happening. She turned her head to the side to avoid him.

"This will be easier if you just give in. I can feel your body reacting," he whispered in her ear. He pulled her wrists up over her head and leaned in closer to her.

She turned back and saw her chance. She quickly raised her knee and struck him hard in the groin. He backed away dropping her wrists and doubled over in pain. "You fucking bitch," he ground out.

Hermione didn't hear his comment; as soon as he had let go she ran as quick as she could down the hall towards the classroom. She felt the tears prick her eyes. She felt so violated, there was no telling what he was going to do and she did not want to find out. The tears fell of their own accord by the time she arrived at the classroom, and stood outside a moment to gain her composure.

Hermione entered the classroom finally to find Draco waiting for her alone. At least she didn't have to see Ron again. It had been a rough couple of days ignoring him and Harry. She knew it was for the best to avoid them, but it didn't stop the pain she felt every time she saw them.

"You're late," Draco said irritated from his position on a desk.

She looked down at her feet and shrugged then started to walk down their patrol route casually fingering the photo in her pocket. He followed her down the corridors. They walked in silence for another ten minutes.

"Have you been crying, mudblood?" Draco sneered in the third corridor.

Hermione sniffed and shrugged her shoulders. She refused to cry in front of him.

Ten minutes more passed. Draco couldn't shake his curiosity; she had to know something after reading that book.

"Come off it, already. What's wrong?" Draco stopped and stared coldly at her.

Hermione paused, but didn't meet his gaze. Why would he care? She just shook her head and continued walking down the corridor.

Draco let out a sigh then followed. He had heard a total of four sentences from her all week, even in classes. Five minutes passed.

"Granger, stop," Draco started. He looked her over; she had looked a mess all week as well. She still wouldn't meet his eyes. "What happened?" he tried, forcing his voice to sound concerned. Maybe feigning interest was the best approach.

She looked up finally confused. Is Malfoy trying to be nice? "Nothing," she answered softly.

"Stop pretending. You haven't had a single comeback since we've come back to school," he kept his voice soft, but let the irritation seep through.

Is he seriously the only one noticing something wrong with me? "I'm fine," she replied and starting to walk again.

"Look, mudblood," he continued following her. "You've become more intolerable than before. I didn't even think it was possible."

"Just ignore me then, I think we would both prefer it that way," She spoke coldly, flicking her photo gently.

"What the fuck mudblood?" he yelled and grabbed her shoulders to turn her to face him. "Why did you need that book at the beginning of the year?" Playing nice obviously wasn't working, and it was hard to keep it up anyways.

She stared at his angry face, her mind begging to correct him. And what did any of this have to do with that book? She shook her head.

"Tell me what you know, filthy little mudblood," he spat in her face, tightening his grip on her shoulders.

She snapped, shoved him off her and stared daggers back at his face. "Stop it, just fucking stop calling me that! You have no right to fucking call me that!" She couldn't take him anymore. She was done ignoring him and she had to lash out at someone.

He staggered back, surprised. "I thought you said mudblood didn't mean anything to you anymore." He regained his composure, and stalked back towards her. "Filthy fucking mud-"

"No! Fucking stop," she screamed standing her ground in front of him.

"Why should I? You don't deserve to forget what you are," He replied towing over her.

"Forget what I am? Trust me, that's not possible even without your ever so helpful reminders. But you have no fucking idea what I am!" She glared back at him, refusing to back down. Tell him he's wrong her mind pleaded.

"Sure I do, a filthy fucking mudblood," he sneered darkly.

"No! You are wrong, I am not a fucking mudblood!" she snapped back, then pushed past him and stormed back to her dorm room.

She was furious that he had managed to get under her skin again. She had been doing so well. It was easy to ignore the meaning of the word and his snide filthy blood comments. But the more she heard it, the more she felt the need to correct him. Not that she was proud of what she is now; she just had to tell him he was wrong.

And after her encounter with Theo, she was even more strained. Where did that even come from? He had never paid her any attention before. Everything was just getting more messed up as the days went on. She had a serious lapse in judgment thanks to him.

As she lay in bed, she felt the regret over take her mind. She had just told her worst enemy what she wasn't even able to tell her friends. Maybe he wouldn't realize what she had meant by it, and he would chalk it up to her being delusional.

Who was she kidding? He was second to her in all classes expect potions, where he was ahead of her. He was almost as smart as she was. He would figure out exactly what she meant. And being his usual destructive self, he was bound to find a way to twist it to hurt her even more.

She reached in her pocket to grab the photo, only to realize it was no longer there. Merlin! I must have dropped it during our fight! Now he's going to know everything! She panicked. He was going to know exactly who her parents were and she doubted he would keep her secret. Now what was she supposed to do.

Draco was stunned by her outburst to say the least. But what had shocked him even more, was the photo that she had dropped before sprinting away. He bent down to pick it up and found the same baby he was looking for, but with her parents.

He wanted to conclude that she had just managed to come across it while searching for her, but he knew that wasn't right. During their fight he had hard time looking away from her eyes whenever she had managed to look up from the ground. Those eyes, the golden brown eyes, lacking their usual fire, were still the same eyes he had memorized before the patrol.

"It's Granger," he mumbled to himself, still staring at the photo she had dropped. That explains everything; why she has been such a wreck since school started, why she hasn't been speaking to anyone, why she hasn't be participating in classes, and why she was so unaffected by being called a mudblood.

He quickly made his way to the owlery to send word to his father.

Father,

It's Hermione Granger. I am sure of it. It also seems that she has just found out herself. Let me know how I should proceed from here.

Draco

He wasn't sure how he should proceed, but if they wanted her on their side it was way easier said than done. At least she had already managed to isolate herself from her friends, but she was still going to be too stubborn to switch sides just like that. He would have to get on her good side. It should be easy to overcome five years of hatred, right?

A/N: I know, Theo is a sleazy asshole. But things will get better. Thank you for the reviews, they make me feel all warm and fuzzy! And just so you know, this story is already outlined out completely, so I do have a plan and there is much more to come. Thanks for readings loves! :)