And, now, as promised, this particular parody!
All the stuff everyone says will make sense if you talk to people a lot. The stuff they say in place of "Bonjour" and the marketplace chatter in the actual song are replaced with their Greeting Statements in the game.
ALSO. And this is important! Hehe. I know some characters that appear in town aren't actually in town at this point in the game, but it's a parody of the game sort of/somewhat parallel to my other fic. So you'll have to forgive me if they don't match up sometimes. I'll warn you anyway, like now! Since Kullervo/Valdo/Kullervaldo is appearing in Town even if he should be somewhere else being a jerk. Just for laughs, y'see. Also, the reason she asks for letters from Vis in the song is that in my other fic, she delivers letters from bachelors to bachelorettes, and is known for being quick on her feet to do it.
This was actually the first parody dmc87 and I made, so lyrics and content may be weird and not make sense. I liked how it shows the misconceptions of townspeople about Tia being lazy, and with her actually being lazy, but working at the same time (as in, she would deliver Vis' stuff if he had anything to send to a lady). This is related to my other fic, so if you haven't read that, nvm. XD
Song 4: Tia
(Based on "Belle" of Disney's Beauty and the Beast)
[Tia makes her way back home from Sunny Hill with Rempo and the Book. They pass by her house outside town so that Tia can make straps for the Book and turn into something of a backpack. She agrees to show him around her home. No matter how imperfect, she doesn't think she can bear to destroy it, but Rempo still has it in his head that he won't let up on his insisting. They head for town.]
[Tia:]
Rhoan Town, it's a castle village
Every day, closer to the war
Rhoan Town, full of clueless people
Waking up to say...
[Camera pans to townspeople going about their daily lives, including zooming in on the Mayor with his assistants, Fana's window for her shot, and Duran practicing bad swordsmanship behind his house.]
[Georg:]
Greetings.
[Fana:]
Hello!
[Duran:]
Leave it to the Hero! I'll handle it!
[Tia and Rempo walk into the marketplace, where they see Romaioni and Francesca. Francesca nudges her brother, who notices Tia, and the two shoot her dirty looks.]
[Tia:]
There go the twins, contemptuous as always
Same weird commodities to sell
Every morning just the same
Since the morning that I came
To this noisy castle town...
[She walks through Central Park, where she bumps into Rex.]
[Rex:]
Yo, Tia!
[Tia:]
Rex! Morning.
[Rex:]
Where'd you get that book?
[Tia:]
Sunny Hill! I just got through the most horrible thing! There were Waisen, and a Moloch, and a-
[Rex:]
That's nice. Augh, I hate the nobility! [He continues to rant, and Tia slowly inches away until she can escape. Tia doesn't notice that townsfolk seem to start singing when she passes by them, busy looking through the Book of Prophecy.]
[Townsfolk:]
Look there she goes, the girl is strange, no question!
No one has knowledge of her past
Always went back to that house
Never changes that pink blouse
No denying she's a funny girl, Tia
[Though Tia is oblivious, Rempo notices them and looks down at Tia curiously. "It's a coat..." When Tia pays him no mind, he taps her shoulder.]
[Rempo:]
They're not...that nice...
[Tia:]
It doesn't matter!
[Rempo:]
You have...no choice!
[Tia:]
I like this world!
[Rempo looks like he's about to explode.]
[Rempo:]
You must! Code scan!
[Tia:]
But I can't do it! There's got to be a way to stop the end!
[She arrives at Vis' house. Vis is waiting for her outside.]
[Vis:]
Ah, Tia!
[Tia:]
Hi, Mr. Vis. I'm here to deliver those letters...
[Vis:]
Napped already?
[Tia:]
Well, gotta work to eat. Got any new ladies?
[Vis:]
(chuckles) Not since yesterday.
[Tia:]
That's all right. You'll find another one. How about telling me about that pick-up bag again, the works?
[Vis:]
The works? But I've shown you twice!
[Tia:]
Well, you know I love learning about it. You find out everyone's likes and dislikes, get them to do whatever you want...
[Vis:]
If you like it all that much, use it!
[Tia:]
But that's your thing!
[Vis:]
I insist!
[Tia:]
Wow, thanks! Thanks a lot!
[Tia has learned Vis' gall to hand out presents whenever he likes. Rempo insists he show her around the rest of town, and Tia goes back past the Central Park to the other areas of Rhoan.]
[Townsfolk:]
Look, there she goes, that girl is so peculiar!
Her laziness in unsurpassed
Always sleeping on that hill
[Gustav:]
Never going through her drills!
[Townsfolk:]
She's a puzzle to the rest of us, Tia!
[Tia freezes when she realizes she's on the steps descending to Training Hall Road.]
[Tia:]
Oh, let's not go down this Road...
I avoid it most because you see
Here I'm Master Gustav's trainee
But he won't discover that I'm here if I just flee...!
[Tia raises the open Book to hide her face, turns around, and walks off.]
[Townspeople:]
Now it's no wonder that Gustav gets angry!
The thought of war gets her aghast
But behind that bland facade
I'm afraid she's rather odd
Very different from the rest of us
Still, nothing like the rest of us
She's different from the rest of Town, Tia!
[Meanwhile, Kullervo has arrived in Rhoan Town. As Prince Valdo, he told General Heath that he was simply going on a scouting mission to judge Kaleilan forces for himself. Nobody seems to notice him even with his crown and the weird cackling sycophant next to him, his Prime Minister and sorcerer Werman. On the way to Rhoan, he turns any humans in his way into demons and send them back over the border disguised as humans, now under his command. We see Werman instructing the last one he's zapped so far to join the Imperial troops, and hurries after Kullervo/Valdo/Kullervaldo when he's finished.]
[Werman:]
Ah, you didn't miss a head, my prince! You're the greatest demon in the whole world.
[Kullervaldo:]
I know.
[Werman:]
No man alive stands a chance against you! And no Book, for that matter.
[Kullervaldo:]
It's true, Werman. And I've got my sights set on that one.
[They see Tia walking around town, now reading the Book instead of showing Rempo around.]
[Werman:]
That peasant girl's!?
[Kullervaldo:]
That's the one! And she's the brat who's wielding it.
[Werman:]
But she's-
[Kullervaldo:]
The new Chosen One around.
[Werman:]
I know, but-
[Kullervaldo:]
That makes her the best! And don't I destroy the best?
[Werman:]
Well, of course, I mean you should, but...
[Kullervaldo:]
Right from the moment when I sensed her, saw her
I said "she has it" and I felt
In the world there's only she
Who is powerful as me!
So I've made plans to annihilate that girl...
[For fear of his good friend the prince, General Heath actually secretly follows them to town, making sure they're safe.]
[Heath:]
Look there he goes
Isn't he kindly?
Good Prince Valdo, oh, he's all heart!
I'll raise my sword for our great cause
Together we'll make our ideal world!
[Anwar:] Ah ha.
[Kullervaldo:] Get out-
[Tia:] Oh, hi.
[Dorothea:] Greetings.
[Vis:] Yo, how's it going?
[Helen:] How do you fare?
[Sylphy:] Hey there.
[Fana:] Hello!
[Nanai:] Welcome...
[Kullervaldo:] Move it!
[Ellie:] Hyo ho ho ho!
[Kullervaldo:] Out of my way!
[Rempo:] You've got-
[Tia:] No thanks!
[Rempo:] To scan-
[Tia:] Never!
[Rempo:] Stop interrupting!
[Tia bats Rempo away, trying to escape the sudden crowd. Kullervo has climbed a tree with Werman to see over the townspeople.]
[Tia:]
There's got to be a way to stop the end!
[Kullervaldo:]
Just watch, that Book will be mine once again!
[Townspeople:]
Look there she goes, that girl is strange but special
That Book of hers looks mighty swell!
It's a pity and a sin
It won't help her fit in
'Cause she really is a funny girl
A duty-shirking errand girl
She really is a funny girl
Tia!
[Tia continues to read as the townspeople continue to greet each other. She finally looks up from the Book of Prophecy and glances back, but by then the people have dispersed. She goes home while Heath helps Werman and Kullervaldo get down from the tree.]
Next song:
Not sure, unfortunately! dmc87 is going out of town and I'm going to move houses, so it might be a while before we can make a new parody. (The others are for later chapters, and I'll post them when I've posted the chapters to my other fic...which I will be continuing while our dynamic duo (WHUT) is out of commission. See you then! Check back regularly, dear viewers who don't make themselves known, I'll update this part and tell you which song when we've gotten together again and decided!)