Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. :( Everytime i have to put that on here it makes me sad.
A/N: Ok, when you get to the end of this chapter i want you to keep something in mind: reviews will make me write faster! so please take time when you finish reading to tell me what you thought of it, even if you don't like it I still would like to know! thanks!!
Chapter 3
We made our way down the stairs, to the kitchen where everyone else was. They all looked up as we walked in. "Bella are you ok honey? You look a little flushed." Esme asked looking concerned.
"Oh yeah Esme I'm fine." I answered with a blush, looking like I found something very interesting about the tiled floor.
After that everyone went back to eating. Edward and I fixed our plates and joined everyone at the table. Everyone was making easy small talk. I was just sitting quietly picking at my food, I wasn't really hungry although I know I should eat something, especially since I wasn't the only one I had to worry about.
See I had a secret that no one knew about yet but me. When I found out myself I didn't want to tell anyone until I told Jacob. Then when I got the news about what happened, to tell you the honest truth I forgot about it for a little while. I know that's horrible and selfish. I should probably not be allowed to keep it. I mean how can you forget about the unborn child that you are carrying.
I didn't tell Alice or Rose about it because I thought that they would just go back home after a week or so, and then I would be alone to care for it by myself and I wouldn't have to go through the pain of having to admit out loud that I was having a baby that now has no father to care for it.
"Bella, are you alright?" Alice asked from beside me. I hadn't even noticed that I was silently crying until she asked me that.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I think I need to just lie down for a little while." I said softly. Before getting up from the table and walking out of the kitchen and to the guest room upstairs.
I lay in bed for I don't know how long. I couldn't sleep, all I could do was lie in a ball holding my stomach, and stare unseeing out the windows at the dark woods that were behind the house. With tears hot tears steadily running down my face. As I lay there I started thinking about how bad of a person I was. That night at the club where I screamed at Edward, I had drank. A lot. I felt like the most horrible person in the world. I don't deserve to have a child. I don't deserve to have a life.
With that thought, I pushed myself out of the bed. I opened the door as quietly as I could and looked down the dark hallway and listened to make sure that everyone was in bed. I didn't know what time it was but I knew that it was pretty late. After not hearing or seeing anyone, I decided that they were all in bed. I started making my way to the bathroom across the hall and of course because I am me and the universe hates me, I tripped over thin air and landed face first on the floor. After a second of staying still and listening making sure I didn't wake anyone up, I got up and continued on the bathroom.
When I got in the bathroom I waited until I closed the door before turning on the light, just to make damn sure it wouldn't wake anyone up. I really didn't need anyone to walk in on me while I was in the middle of what I was about to do.
I looked around the bathroom looking for something sharp that could work. I dug through all the cabinets and looked behind everything in them to see if I could find something. All with no luck. I was about to give up when I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that it was a medicine cabinet. Please, let there be something in there I could use. I begged whatever force there is that was watching me.
I slowly open the cabinet and looked in it all I saw was medicine bottles and things to that nature. I started moving them around to look behind them, a few of them falling into the sink in the process, until I spotted something sliver and shiny. I let out a breath of relief when my fingers touched the cold metal and I picked it up.
I held it in front of my face staring at it in awe. It's amazing how this little piece of metal was going to save me. Save me from a life with no Jacob, a life that I didn't deserve. A life where I would have to raise a child on my own and then when it got old enough to start wondering where his or her daddy was, I would have to tell them how he died before they born and didn't even know anything about me being pregnant. I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts. It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters anymore.
I gripped the sink and looked down, and took a few deep calming breathes. I looked up in the mirror one last time and watch the silent tears run down my face. Ok, here we go, it's now or never. I thought to myself as I lifted the blade to my right wrist. "I'm sorry Jacob." I whispered right before I slid the sharp metal straight down the middle of my wrist, letting out a hiss of pain.
I grabbed the sink to steady myself as I felt myself about to hit the floor. I had to finish it. If I do both wrists it will be over with faster. I switched the blade to my right hand. It was harder to hold in this hand because of all the blood. I put the blade against my left wrist as I felt myself start to sway. I started pulling it down my wrist as my vision went blurry and I felt myself hit the floor.
EPOV
I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I tried, all I could do is toss and turn. All I could think about was Bella in the room next to mine. I knew she was upset, hell who wouldn't be after losing their husband. It made me so sad that she didn't trust me enough anymore to let me comfort her. All I wanted to do was help my best friend get through this hard time, but she blamed me for everything. She blamed me for things that I had no control over. I knew that she was just grieving and she was going through the anger stage. But it still hurt like hell that I was the person she wanted to take it out on.
A few hours later, I was lying on my back just staring at the ceiling wondering if I was ever going to get any sleep, when I heard a thud come from the hall. I looked at my clock it read 2 in the morning. Great. I don't think I will ever get to sleep tonight. I figured I was just Bella making her way the bathroom. We all know how clumsy she is; she probably just tripped over nothing. I laughed quietly to myself at that thought. Her clumsiness is just so endearing.
I climbed back in bed and continued to stare at the ceiling wish sleep would consume me soon. Only to hear what sounded like things falling in the bathroom. Without even thinking about it first, I got up out of bed and made my way to the hallway. When I got the bathroom door, I held my hand up to knock when I heard Bella's soft voice whisper something. I didn't hear all of it, but I thought I heard her say Jacob's name.
Dropped my arm not wanting to interrupt her private moment, but I didn't move away from the door. I didn't want to leave her by herself. I knew I was the last person she wanted to console her right now, but I thought that her yelling at would be better than her being by herself.
I was about to change my mind and walk away when I heard her hiss. It sounded like she was in pain.
I knock on the door lightly; I didn't want to scare her with any sudden noise. "Bella, are you alright?" I asked in a soft voice. She didn't answer, so I knocked again just a little louder this time. "Bella are you hurt?" I asked a little more desperate than before. Still nothing. I put my ear to the door to see if I could hear her moving or anything.
The thing I heard next scared me worse than I have ever been scared in my life. It was a loud thud, like someone hitting the floor. "BELLA!" I screamed desperately will banging on the door. When she still didn't answer I did the only thing I could think of. I rammed my shoulder into the door with all my force.
It slung open, hit the wall behind it and came back at me. I stuck my hand out to stop it and then looked down at the floor. What I saw there stopped my breathing.
There lying of the floor with blood all around her was Bella. I ran to her and brushed the hair out of her face.
"Bella, Bella honey can you hear me?" I asked in a shaky breath, with both hands on her cheeks. She felt cold and lifeless in my hands. I didn't know what to do. I knew that I have be taught to react the right way in a situation like this, but right at that moment I could remember any of the things I had been taught.
"Bella wake up!" I yelled throw the tears that were now flooding from my face. I felt so helpless and alone. I didn't know what to do. I looked down around her on the floor and saw the tiny sliver blade that did this to her. Then I looked around the floor some more looking for something that could help me save her. That's when I saw the blood rushing from her wrists. On instinct I grabbed to towels off the rack beside the sink and held them to both her wrists as best I could.
All of a sudden I remembered that we weren't alone in the house. There were other people here that could help me save her. Another doctor here that could save her. One that isn't useless in times like these.
"CARLISLE!" I screamed. "CARLISLE!" I screamed again hoping that by me screaming his name and not dad that he would know something was terribly wrong and come faster.
"CARLISLE, HELP!" I screamed again, desperately.
After what seemed like forever I heard people running up the stairs.
"Edward, what's wrong where are u?!" I heard my father yell as he ran up the stairs toward us.
"WE'RE IN THE BATHROOM JUST HURRY UP AND GET IN HERE NOW!" I screamed through my sobs.
My father entered the bathroom out of breath "Edward what's –"He trailed off as he looked down at Bella on the floor. "Oh my god." He gasped before hurrying to Bella's side.
Holding her face in his hands just like I had done before he called to her "Bella can you hear me?" And just like before she didn't answer.
As I heard loud gasps followed by screams that came from Alice and Rosalie, I looked up at the door to find Esme with tears running down her face with her hand covering her mouth as she stared at us in shock. Alice was buried in Jasper's chest crying hysterically and Emmett was trying to calm Rosalie down in much the same way that Jasper was trying to calm Alice.
"Esme, call an ambulance!" Carlisle yelled in an unsteady voice. She nodded and ran down stairs.
I looked at Carlisle's worried face. "Is she going to make it?" I asked barely above a whisper, not really knowing if I wanted to hear the answer or not.
Carlisle looked at me sadly shaking his head, "I don't know son."
After that one little sentence I couldn't help it, I couldn't stay calm anymore. I broke down in sobs.
Ok!! I am now going to go hind under a rock for a little while!! lol .. sorry about the cliffie but i gotta keep you reading somehow! Just remember what I said at the top ^ !! I'll repeat it just in case you forgot k? K. REVIEWS MAKE ME WRITE MORE, FASTER!!! Thanks again!!!!!