Finding their balance once again wasn't exactly easy. It took a little trial and error, a bit of pushing past anxieties and quelling irrational fears. Izuku takes Shouto's silences in stride, finding some solace in the fact that he at least won't pull away anymore when he tries to get closer. Little by little, the incident gets buried by their everyday life, by the school work and the hero training, by their friends' mindless banter as they study together in Iida's room like they do every week on Mondays, or the short Super Smash Bros. tournament Kaminari hosts on Tuesday afternoons.

Soon enough, they fall back into their routine, they find their comfort zone right where they'd left it and they settle into it. Shouto no longer flinches whenever Izuku walks towards him a little too fast and he will no longer hesitate to land a solid kick to his side when they spar. If Izuku can't help a smirk when he returns it by pinning him to the ground, it's mostly because of how good it feels to finally have this sense of normalcy and only slightly due to how fun it is to watch his boyfriend scramble to leave his hold. And fail.

It is entirely unfair how Shouto leans up and pecks him right on the lips, catching him off guard and taking advantage of his shock to flip him over, twisting his left arm in between his legs until he yields. Izuku rubs his shoulder as he stands back up, narrowing his eyes at the other even though the little smile dancing on his lips betrays his real feelings. Being pulled into Shouto's arms for a warm embrace – no matter how sweaty they may be from both the summer heat and the exercise – makes his heart stutter, filling him with a calm sense of joy he just wants to bask in forever.

With their school work done not that long after, they decide to take a moment to just breathe each other in, sitting in a comfortable quiet on Izuku's bed while he plays some old superhero movie on his laptop. They're not really paying much attention, or at the very least, Izuku isn't, too distracted by the feeling of Shouto's fingers carding through his hair as he melts back into his embrace, his head resting on his shoulder and his eyes drifting shut before fluttering back open. Occasionally, he hears the soft smack of lips kissing the top of his head, the hand that was tangled in his locks drifting up and down his arm for a few moments before returning to its rightful place, petting him into a calm state of limbo between slumber and wakefulness.

It feels nice. It feels right, normal.

The movie ends, the credits roll, and eventually they are left with nothing but the tender hum of their steady breaths in the otherwise quiet room. Fingertips dance gingerly over the skin of Izuku's arm and he shivers a little at the feeling, slightly ticklish, entirely delightful. Shouto takes his right hand in his own, thumb brushing gently over the bumpy scars that mar its surface, each and every one of his crooked fingers. But he lingers on the two lines the dash across the middle of his hand, rubbing loose circles around them, drawing uneven patterns above and below them.

"Shouto…" Izuku only gets a small hum in response, pensive and somewhat distracted, and he shifts, squeezing Shouto's fingers that are laced with his own. "Is something wrong?"

For a few long moments, he gets no reply but his boyfriend's breathing against the shell of his ear, his thumb still tracing the white lines on the back of his hand. He seems to take a long time to consider the question and its answer, which in and of itself should already be a clue as to what may be going on inside that head of his.

Opening his eyes lazily, Izuku looks up at Shouto's face, admiring his profile, even from a low angle, getting caught in the lines of his strong jaw and thin lips. Blue greys meet his gaze and hold it, framed by snow and fire falling over them loosely, stray locks mixing together and upsetting the tidy line that separates the two.

"Just thinking…" He whispers before returning to trailing the lines with light touches.

Falling back onto Shouto's chest, Izuku turns his hand so that he can play with his fingers too, waiting for him to continue. When there's no response for another small eternity, he tugs at the hem of his boyfriend's shirt with his free hand, once, twice, three times, hoping that will get his attention. He just keeps staring at his scars and Izuku sighs.

"Shouto, what are you thinking about?"

At that, Shouto's hold on him tightens, his fingers twitch before they curl around Izuku's and he lets out a shaky breath that blows against his cheeks. Pulling him up slightly and wrapping both his arms around his waist, Shouto buries his face in Izuku's neck, nuzzling into him before placing a soft peck against his skin and making him shudder with a light giggle bubbling in his throat.

"Don't change the subject."

"I didn't say anything..."

"But you're still distracting me..."

"I am doing no such thing."

The way he kisses the little sensitive spot just under Izuku's ear tells him otherwise, the one that never fails to make him squeal and shrink in on himself on instinct alone, trying to squirm away from the tingling sensation it causes.

"Forgive my scepticism..." Izuku gasps in between tiny laughs he couldn't control if he tried, each new brush of Shouto's lips drawing a new breathless chuckle out of him.

With a small sigh, Shouto pulls them both back against Izuku's pillows, the trilling laughs subsiding and the silence settling between them once again. Izuku's gaze follows Shouto as he snakes his hand beneath his own, lifting them both in front of their faces.

"It's stupid…" Shouto finally speaks, resting his chin on Izuku's shoulder and bringing their joined hands to his lips, kissing each of his scars tenderly.

"Is it bothering you?" All Izuku gets from his boyfriend is a noncommittal shrug that tells him all he needs to know. "Then it's not stupid."

Izuku can feel the resignation seeping into Shouto's posture when he settles their hands atop his stomach, hiding his face behind his nape before trying to keep his breaths even, the small stutters brushing against the back of his neck. Squeezing his hand in what he hopes is a reassuring gesture, Izuku shifts so that he can rest his head on Shouto's shoulder again, wanting to see his face for whatever he has to say.

"Don't worry, I'm here to listen."

Shouto clicks his tongue before clenching his jaw, letting out a heavy sigh that sounds like it carries the weight of worlds.

"I was just thinking… what if… back then, during the sports festival, you didn't go out of your way to make me see how wrong my way of thinking was – how toxic?"

Blinking at his words, Izuku turns on his side to fully face the other, looking into distressed blue and grey eyes and opening his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted before he can even get any words out.

"I would still have the same demons I do now, but I wouldn't know how to control them, I…"

Shouto trails off, his forehead crinkling with lines of apprehension that Izuku wants to press down with the tips of his fingers. Instead, he brings his left hand up to rest over Shouto's cheek, rubbing his thumb just beneath the dark circles that haven't quite left the home they've made under his boyfriend's storm-filled eyes.

"Shouto, you are the one who went out of your way to get my attention. If you hadn't singled me out, if you hadn't told me why you thought that way, I would have been none the wiser. Give yourself some credit…"

The hold on him tightens and Shouto lets out an icy puff of air, sending a shiver down Izuku's spine as soon as it tickles the tip of his nose as the other leans closer and places one gentle kiss over what he assumes is his favourite freckle. Shouto had mentioned once that it was one that dipped down the bridge of his nose and fell over the little valley that connected to his cheek. Izuku can't help but squeeze his eyes shut, stray red and white hairs brushing against his skin and causing him to crinkle his nose slightly.

"Even if that's true…" Shouto goes quiet for a moment, as if considering the words that have likely been plaguing him for who knows how long, and Izuku waits, leaning up to bump their noses together and kissing his cheek. "What if I never… sought you out? If I never realised how important you are or we never told each other how we felt?"

Those words give Izuku pause and he pulls back slightly, a small sense of loss opening up right under him and consuming him in a matter of seconds. He feels himself slowly sinking, his heart growing heavier and his throat tighter but he grasps at the edges of their previously peaceful atmosphere, holding on for dear life and hoping to chase the despair away before it starts eating at him.

"But you did, we did…"

Izuku whispers softly, choked, his eyes welling up at the possibility of not being in Shouto's arms right now, of never having been in them. And suddenly he's back in middle school, back to being quirkless and not having the means to get to where he is right now. Suddenly he's never even met Shouto because he never got One for All and never amounted to anything, never achieved any of his dreams. Izuku is still just quirkless and useless Deku, and not the Deku 'who can do it'. Shouto is still bitter and filled with icy hatred and they're both miserable and with no one to help them push past their pain and come out from the suffocating despair.

A call of his name pulls him back from his spiralling thoughts and he notices with a start that Shouto's face is blurry, quickly wiping at his eyes to get rid of the tears that are spilling down his cheeks. Yet, no matter how many times he swipes the back of his hand or his palm over his face, the tears just keep coming, burning tracks down to his chin only to drip onto a growing stain on his shirt. Izuku mumbles through a string of apologies even as Shouto's face twists with overwhelming guilt.

"I didn't mean to upset you…"

Immediately, Izuku shakes his head at those words, wanting nothing more than to take that remorse from his boyfriend's voice, to soothe that pain that shines so obvious in those mismatched eyes. How can he do that when he's suddenly drowning in his own unresolved anguish, though? How can he tell him he's okay and everything's fine when he suddenly feels like everything is crumbling just because he got caught up in another 'what could have been'?

"I'm sorry… I just…"

A hiccup breaks through him and Izuku hides his face in his hands, turning the other way even as Shouto holds him closer to his chest, the tension in his muscles returning and his temperature quickly dropping. Izuku can feel Shouto's heart drumming against his ribcage and his own breaking slightly at how he's no doubt letting the fear take hold once more.

"Izuku… I'm sorry, I didn't want to upset you… I'm sorry I said anything…" Everything about the way he speaks makes him seem small, like the shame he hears in every single dip of his voice is crushing him into nothingness.

"No!" The word comes out strangled and urgent, spilling from Izuku's lips before he can even think to reel his own panic back in. "Please, Shouto… This isn't—it's not your fault, I just—" A small laugh, dripping with bitterness and completely devoid of any humour, breaks out of him. "I really don't know how to stop being a cry-baby, huh? All Might's going to scold me again…"

Trying to hold back the sobs, Izuku rubs the back of his arm over his eyes, levelling his breathing as best he can and then taking Shouto's hand in his, trembling fingers lacing together as he gathers his thoughts.

"I started thinking about what my life would be like if I never… if my quirk… Who would I be then?"

He can't quite bring himself to verbalise his thoughts, the truth of the matter hiding just underneath them, all the years of feeling inadequate and working hard for something that would likely never come to pass. Izuku feels like the luckiest person, but sometimes he can't help but think that, had he not been so lucky, had circumstances been just slightly different, he would be nothing… Hearing Shouto's doubts only brought that overwhelming feeling to the surface when he spent his every waking moment trying to ignore it.

A cold hand rests gingerly under his chin, trembling but careful fingers lifting Izuku's face up and turning it just enough so that they can look into each other's eyes. There's something in those summer storm eyes, shining brightly with the threat of tears, that makes Izuku's heart squeeze, that makes his breath catch in a broken sob as he covers his mouth to muffle the tiny whimpers.

"You'd still be you… You'd still be the kind and selfless you that strives to help anyone you can, who would sacrifice anything and everything if you thought for just a second that it would save just one person…" Shouto chokes out, his quivering hand travelling to Izuku's cheek, letting him lean into the touch and blink the tears from his eyes. "I'm an idiot…"

Izuku stares at him, drinking in the light that sheens in that icy blue and clouded grey, the hopeful glint consuming the terrified dullness that was there before it. He can practically see Shouto's soul, feeling every ounce of strength it takes for him to push against the dread, to ignore the guilt and crush the doubt. Izuku holds on to every single look, every single breath.

"There's no use in this, is there?" Shouto whispers, his cool breath crashing into Izuku's flushed cheeks, washing him in what he thinks might be relief if he just allows himself to feel it. "What could have happened doesn't matter, does it? We're here… We're together and we are who are because of what got us here." Shouto's other hand comes to rest over Izuku's chest, his heart beating hard and frantically against his palm. "But at our core, we'd still be the same, right? You'd still be the person I love…"

There's a flutter of butterflies in Izuku's stomach, his heart stuttering before starting on a desperate race to beat right out of his chest and his breath getting caught in his throat along with the lump that's suddenly formed there. It feels just a little bit like a dream, like what he heard isn't really what Shouto said, and he has to repeat it inside his head a few times before coming to any conclusions. And yet, the more he finds himself wanting to believe he heard it right, there's that little part of him that says no, you're just hearing what you want.

"Say that again, please..." He croaks, hand gripping Shouto's where it still rests over his chest, shaking beyond reason.

Shouto's eyes widen slightly and it seems like it's just dawned on him what he's said too, Izuku trying his best not to let himself fear that he may think it was a mistake. Red floods his cheeks, the hand on Izuku's face falling to his shoulder as Shouto brings his gaze down to a corner of the room, the inside of his cheek taken hostage between his teeth.

"Y-you're the person I love... I-I love you, Izuku..."

Emotions flood Izuku's being, one right after another, barrelling into him like water from a broken dam: shock, disbelief, doubt, fear, anxiety, uncertainty then understanding, relief and elation... He's overtaken by such unbridled joy, such devastatingly wonderful euphoria, that he chokes on all of it. His expression twists and his vision clouds with a fresh rush of tears that fall freely from the corners of his eyes, his very core trembling as he twists in Shouto's arms to throw his own around his neck.

He tries to speak past the sobs but all that comes out of his mouth are garbled noises, unintelligible mumbles that not even he can make sense of. Startled, Shouto carefully holds him back, the trembling of his hands obvious even when Izuku himself is shaking with every broken breath that tears through him. The words are on the tip of his tongue but they get drowned out by his gasps, muffled by Shouto's skin as he buries his face in the crook of his neck, his lips pressing over his pulse point and feeling the blood rushing with each beat of his heart.

His name sounds as a question that hardly reaches his ears, strangled by surge of feelings that threatens to drown them and Izuku clings tighter to Shouto. Izuku holds on for dear life, for fear of it all being nothing but the tricks of his tired mind, that he's fallen asleep halfway through that movie and none of this is actually real. Yet the tug of Shouto's fingers tangled in his messy curls is just a little bit painful, his breaths burn down his throat from holding back tiny wails and it all feels like too much for it to be fake.

It feels like their confession all over again, a mess of tears and emotions, the lingering fear of rejection even after they've both laid it all out in the open, bared themselves to one another, vulnerable but trusting. Except this time, it's so much more intense, so much more meaningful, because now they've given just a little more of their hearts away for the other to keep, and Izuku wants to cherish Shouto's, to keep it safe and treasure it like the precious gem it really is. And he would give all of his for him to do with what he pleased without a second thought, willing to put all of his life in his hands because he knows he would return his care in kind.

The words won't leave his trembling lips, but Izuku hopes he knows anyway, from the way his fingers curl in Shouto's hair, pulling him as close as he can to feel his warmth seeping right into his skin. He hopes he can feel it with every fibre of his being from how he sinks into his embrace as if his are the only hands that can keep him from falling further into the abyss and losing himself in the feeling. Izuku is drowning out of water and he never thought it would feel so wonderful, never did he think he would feel this happy being consumed by someone else's love while pouring all of his onto him in return.

For now, he can't quite say it, but the weak little breathless laugh that shakes its way past Izuku's ear is enough to know he doesn't have to.