A/N: Okay, I know I suck at this but I haven't dropped this story. I have this story planned out. I just need time to polish things and sometimes, life gets in the way. Anyway, thank you for sticking with this story and I suggest you read this again from the first chapter if you have time. I mean, to reconnect with it. Idk. Just a sidenote, I'm writing Jessica here more like Kelley because Kelley is a golden human being.
WARNING: (1) this chapter is bittersweet but (2) it's not gonna be easy.
FOUR
Stranger
Humming hallelujah in the night
The sun might rise as sometimes does it fall
.
Jackson, MS
30th Day, Early Morning
"Do you think Lady Gaga would have had a new hit by now?" Jessica asks no one in particular as she continues whatever it is she's doing with the satellite dish.
They arrived here last night after a few hours of driving. It took them a few days to finally leave Meridian—and to some extent Ashley—but Stacie is right, they all have to move forward. They're staying at a four-bedroom bungalow that has a gated entrance and a large front yard. Plus, the family that lived in this house has an awesome collection of classic movies and a huge TV. Granted, it's gonna take more fuel runs because house has a huge generator but no one can stop them from going on a Nicolas Cage marathon.
Is Nicolas Cage still alive?
It's also the least damaged part of Jackson and the closest they can get to Whole Foods. There's also a nearby gun shop that sells better guns that come with boxes of ammunition that still looks fresh off delivery.
It's win-win and it's actually kind of nice to have something they didn't need to kill someone for.
"I think, Adele would have a new album by now," Chloe says as she walks in the room (the Radio room) with two cups of coffee. She hands over one cup to Jessica and the other to Beca. "Katy Perry for sure. I bet she's topping the charts again."
Beca only stares at the two of them.
She's still thinking of that pool at the hotel they passed by yesterday. Oh, how it would feel to just dip into the pool again and relax. Seems like a faraway dream.
Fat Amy, who's sitting at the far end of the room surrounded by large cups of coffee, joins the conversation, "I'm pretty sure my girl Britney Spears is taking over the world."
"You guys speak like these things are happening in another world," Beca says as she sips from her cup of coffee. It almost makes her smile how well Chloe knows how she wants her coffee.
Jessica turns to her, "Do you think Lady Gaga is still alive?"
Chloe laughs, "Well, if she's really Illuminati, I bet she's still alive."
Fat Amy laughs, too, "Along with Beyonce, Jay-Z, and LeBron."
This time, Beca actually laughs. "Oh my God," she says in between laughs. "LeBron is probably still alive because guy is a one man wrecking machine."
What?
She hung out with the Trebles once and boys, you know.
"I hope Justin Bieber died first," Chloe says and Beca is challenged to think of someone she hates so much.
That's also one of the perks of the apocalypse: you get to wish someone dead and not feel guilty about it.
Beca raises a hand and points at Jessica, "Kim Kardashian! I hope she died a painful death!"
"Paris Hilton!" Jessica adds, adjusting her thick-framed glasses.
Fat Amy clears her throat, "Christina Aguilera!"
Chloe turns to her, eyes wide in shock, "How dare you!"
Jessica and Beca only watch in amusement.
The world has ended but the Britney vs Christina debate hasn't. It's the only immortal thing in this world—aside from Crocs but that doesn't really count because those are alien merchandise.
Fat Amy shrugs, "I'm just saying, the girl is annoying." She then mimics Christina Aguilera's signature raspy voice and sings, "He-e-e-lp me-e-e-e; this zo-oo-ombie is eating me."
Jessica bursts laughing and so does Beca but she quickly straightens up when Chloe glares at her.
Fat Amy adds, "Christina probably died along with her fake blonde hair."
"Britney died along with her non-existent talent."
"Ooooh," Jessica manages and gesturing to Beca as if she got burned.
Beca only stares in wonder as Fat Amy and Chloe go at it again.
They're still in the middle of the debate when Stacie steps in. "Really guys?" she asks, "Britney and Christina again?"
Fat Amy and Chloe only shrug.
Stacie snorts, "How very mature."
Chloe turns to her, eyes with determination to turn this on Stacie, "Don't think I don't know about your debate with Jessica about NSYNC and Backstreet Boys."
Beca just shakes her head in second-hand embarrassment as she turns to Jessica, "Jess, seriously?"
Jessica just pouts, like somebody just Tweeted about her biggest secret.
Stacie gestures wildly, "Chloe, you're either an NSYNC girl or a Backstreet Boys girl."
Again, Beca just really, really wants to die in embarrassment. She can't believe she survived 30 days with these people.
Stacie crosses her arms in that signature way of hers, "And I'm judging you if you're an NSYNC girl."
Jessica feels involved now. She stands up in disbelief, "Excuse me?"
Fat Amy laughs, "Uh-oh, here we go."
Beca only sits silently and keeps her opinion to herself. She's an NSYNC girl, duh, but Stacie has a rifle and Jessica only has a screwdriver. One has to choose their master.
"We talked about this Jess—"
Stacie's argument is cut short when Aubrey enters the room.
They all fall silent—their debates temporarily go to rest.
Beca observes Aubrey. She looks tired—her hair is longer and the bags under her eyes are more visible now. She's dressed in sweats of people they don't know; and she hasn't eaten a proper meal since Ashley died.
She just keeps getting worse and frankly it scares Beca.
There's no hope in Aubrey's eyes anymore; like she's just here because they all dragged her. Aubrey looks like she's not with them anymore, like she has given up. Aubrey looks like she's done fighting.
And it scares Beca because if there's one thing she learned, man can survive days without food. Man can survive hours without water.
But man can only last a minute without hope.
"Breakfast," Aubrey announces, her voice low and raspy—and tired. She then grabs Stacie's hand and leads her out of the room.
Since Ashley's death, Aubrey has only talked or interacted with Stacie. When she's with the rest of the group, she's just silent; like she's there but not really.
"She's looking slightly well," Fat Amy comments but it comes out more like a question.
No, she doesn't.
"No. No, she doesn't," Chloe counters sadly because she notices it, too.
Beca hops off from her seat and sighs, "Maybe she's just in shock."
Chloe nods, "Maybe."
"Come on," Beca says with a reassuring smile.
"She'll be okay eventually," Jessica says with a small smile as she walks over to Chloe.
Fat Amy then walks toward her, "Okay, I'm gonna give you a hug."
Chloe lets out a teary chuckle as Fat Amy wraps her arms around her. Seconds later, Fat Amy pulls Jessica in their hug which makes her laugh. Amid the hug party, Fat Amy says, "I'm gonna let you join us but I know you don't like hugs."
"Thank you," Beca just says smilingly, appreciating Fat Amy's respect for her dislike of hugs… or at least hugs that don't come from Chloe.
.
It was by noon that something eventful happens.
Stacie, Chloe, and Beca are sitting by the living room discussing their next stop when Cynthia Rose runs into the room heaving and panicking.
"Stacie!"
Alarmed, Stacie shoots up from her seat, "What?"
Beca's heart starts beating fast in a bad way. Something's wrong.
"It's Aubrey."
"What about her?" Stacie's breath hitches.
And Beca could swear that since the end of the world began, this is the first time Stacie looked this scared.
"We can't find her."
Beca only hears a collective gasp before she realizes that both Chloe and Stacie have ran out of the room.
"Fuck," she mutters to herself.
She knew that Aubrey was losing it.
She just didn't expect she'd snap this soon.
.
Jackson isn't exactly a small town.
It also isn't exactly the safest time of the year.
And Beca isn't exactly the most optimistic person left on Earth.
Yet, here they are—Stacie and Beca—driving around this city they barely know, looking for a possibly mentally unstable girl in the dead of the night.
They've searched the vicinity of the house they're staying at and found nothing. They went as many blocks as they can to look for her and found nothing. Aubrey ran away—and the thing about running away amid the apocalypse, there's a huge chance you may never come back.
Beca has mixed emotions about Aubrey's rebellion. She feels incredibly terrified because there are humans eating other humans everywhere but she also feels majorly angry because who the fucking fuck runs away in the middle of the zombie apocalypse?
"It's getting really late, Stace," Beca says.
They've been driving around for two hours now and all they've ever done is run over all the undead that stood their way. They even came across a horde of about 30 zombies but Stacie only sped up and ran over all of them.
Beca just wants to go back home, not because she has given up on Aubrey. It's just that there are only seven of them now and in a situation like this, you always gotta stick with those you still have.
Stacie refuses to give up. She had insisted on taking the bus and driving around town, hoping they'll find Aubrey. She wanted to go alone but of course, Beca didn't let her. They've lost Denise and Ashley—and now, there's a huge chance they've lost Aubrey too and no, Beca refuses to lose Stacie without a God damned fight.
"Just one more hour," Stacie pleads, keeping her eyes on the road.
"Okay," Beca just agrees and takes a deep breath. She also said that an hour ago.
There's silence again. It has been like this since the drive started. It's not comforting at all but what can you say when one of your friends are missing just after a week your other friend died? It's like a terrible psycho movie, or yet another one of those Final Destination movies—except this is real life and the world has ended.
Sometimes, there's really nothing you can do.
"This is all my fault," Stacie says, her voice shaking.
"You know it's not," Beca argues and she hopes that Stacie will stop blaming herself because she really doesn't know how to handle conversations like this.
"If I was just able to protect Ashley or if I had the guts to pull the trigger on her, Aubrey won't be so depressed. She'd stay."
Beca could hear the sheer desperation in her voice. She knows that if Stacie had the chance, she would do it over again and take it upon herself to shoot Ashley and save Aubrey from the task. There's something else in the way Stacie takes care of Aubrey.
Granted, Stacie has taken it upon herself to be everyone's hero but even if Beca was blind, she'd feel how special Aubrey is to her. One doesn't need to squint to see how that when it comes down to a choice, Stacie will always choose to save Aubrey. For what reason? Beca isn't sure. She's had her suspicions but that's the last thing on her mind right now.
"Beca, what if we never find her?"
Beca's mouth hangs open. It's in moments like this does Beca realize how this world has turned into something unrecognizable; and just how one twist in the story could change people for good. It's scary because here she is in this bus with Stacie who's supposed to be their leader, the strongest one in the group. But right now, all Beca hears is uncertainty—and hopelessness.
She shakes her head with a sad sigh. "I don't know," she says because it's true.
If they lose Aubrey, everything is going to change and Beca's not sure if she can handle whatever that means.
"She killed him," Stacie says out of nowhere. Stacie's voice is weak and so lifeless that Beca almost misses it.
"Huh?"
"Aubrey," she says, taking a deep breath. "She killed him."
Beca shifts on her seat, "Who?"
Stacie tightens her grip around the steering wheel, her eyes tearing up a bit. She swallows a lump in her throat before she says, "Her father."
Beca's jaws drop, "Wha—"
"The night before this whole thing happened, I joined Chloe and Aubrey in their last girl's night out. It was the night before Aubrey was supposed to fly to New York."
Beca already knows this part of the story so she just sits and waits for Stacie to continue.
"I got drunk and I slept over at their place. Then, the next day, we had brunch with her father who picked her up from school. They were supposed to fly to New York together."
Beca releases a breath she didn't know she was holding.
"The next thing I knew there's just chaos and there's just students turning into another creature. It happened so fast but all I remember was her father tackling me to the ground. He was about to eat my face when his head turned violently sideways. Then I saw Aubrey with a bat in her hands."
Beca gasps quietly. It's overwhelming how everything makes sense in an instant. Beca doesn't even know what to say because even if she hates her father, it would probably a traumatic thing to be the one to kill him—apocalypse or not.
It finally makes sense why killing Ashley was Aubrey's last straw.
It takes Beca back to the look in Aubrey's eyes after she shot Ashley. It takes her back to the moment that the last of her left and Beca feels it again, that fear.
"That's the last time I really saw Aubrey."
Beca feels her heart sink. Aubrey had to kill her father to save Stacie and just a week ago, she had to kill her friend. Granted, the situation called it but sometimes, "you did what you had to do" doesn't cut it.
Somehow, Beca thinks that Aubrey running away is the best thing that could've happened. It's probably easier this way because the only thing worse than Aubrey dying… is not seeing Aubrey even when she's right there.
"That's…" Beca tries but there's just simply no words to explain how she feels right now.
Stacie sighs audibly. The brunette pulls over by the side of the empty road and slams the steering wheel in frustration.
And for the first time in since the beginning of the end, Beca sees Stacie cry.
.
When they get back from the drive, they see Chloe waiting for them by the patio with a rifle at hand. It makes Beca cringe how fucked up this whole thing had become.
Stacie, still fresh from crying all the way back, heads straight inside the house as Beca makes her way to Chloe. The redhead doesn't even seem shocked that Aubrey is not with them. It's like she knew.
It's like she's given up, too.
"Hey," Beca greets as she walks up to her.
"Hey," Chloe tries but her voice wobbles, tears immediately form in her eyes.
"We'll drive again tomorrow, okay?"
It was never Beca's strongest suit to be the friend that comforts the friend. In a group, she's always the sarcastic, grumpy one. She never tried being the shoulder to cry on. She's never been the strong one.
But Chloe makes her want to try.
She takes the seat next to her and takes her hand, "How are you holding up?"
Chloe sighs heavily, "I'm better now than I was before you and Stacie left. I," a pause, "just can't get used to it, you know. When I hear this faint growling from the distance it just… my mind just goes there."
Beca covers Chloe's hand with both of hers as if this gesture could bring Aubrey back.
"You know the first time I met Aubrey?"
Beca manages a small smile, "Yeah?"
"It was at the auditions in freshman year," Chloe says with a teary chuckle. "She sang Like a Virgin."
"That sounds exactly like Aubrey."
Chloe nods, "Then she had a long-winded speech about why the Bellas would accept her. It was so funny and desperate but I think that's why she got the spot." The redhead takes a deep breath and releases it slowly, "I think Aubrey got the spot because she had guts."
"I wouldn't doubt that for a second."
"Beca," Chloe calls as she turns to her. Her voice is soft and weak in a way that shatters Beca apart and at the same time puts her back together, "What if she's gone?"
And Beca has always been silent but she was never speechless.
When Beca wouldn't respond, Chloe speaks up again, "What if she never comes back?"
How do you even answer questions like this?
When someone's bestfriend ran away with a huge chance of never coming back, what do you even say? Beca tries to put words together to come up with something that will stop Chloe from crying.
It's unfair, Beca thinks. Sometimes, when she's alone at night trying not to think of what happened to her mom or her dad, she thinks it would have been so much easier if she just died.
Beca sighs sadly, "There are places so much better than this, Chloe."
And that's all Chloe needed to completely break down.
On the inside, Beca does, too.
Chloe continues to cry and Beca scoots her chair closer to her, putting her arm around the sobbing girl's shoulders. Beca wants to tell her it's gonna be okay but she knows no words can console the other girl right now.
Beca tries to imagine what her world would become if Chloe was the one that ran away.
No one will make her coffee for her in the morning. No one will know how she wants her pancakes. No one will help her with the dishes when she's the one assigned. No one will fall asleep beside her at night; or cuddle with her or be the big spoon when the night is cold.
Chloe does all of that.
But Beca thinks it's her smile that she will miss the most. It makes Beca's day brighter, makes her feel like she has a reason to live in this world that just keeps on dying.
Sometimes, Beca thinks she's lucky—that for once, she's lucky.
The world ends and Beca—out of the many people in the world—gets to keep something to herself.
When the whole world is falling apart, how do you keep yourself from falling apart with it? How do you keep yourself together? How do you wake up every morning with this big realization that there might not be a safe place somewhere?
The world ends and Beca—out of the many people in the world—gets to have something (someone) that makes her want to make it, to fight; to be the strong one.
So, Beca says it without further thought, "Don't ever run away, okay?"
There's a brief silence before Chloe looks up and wipes the tears that are still streaming down her face. She meets Beca's eyes.
Beca swallows. She's never been really good at words but she feels like she could use some talking right now, "I mean," a pause, "don't ever run away alone."
Something shifts in the way Chloe looks at her, like Beca's words are keeping her world together.
"This world is so fucked up right now and who the hell knows if we're really going somewhere but you Chloe," she breathes, deep—because saying things that actually mean something is consuming as fuck, "You're here with me and you're the only one that makes this whole thing less devastating."
And maybe, for now, this is the closest Beca can get to saying I love you.
It makes Chloe smile. It's not much but it's enough for Beca to smile as well—and damn it, a tear escapes her eye.
They get lost in each other's eyes for a moment and Beca knows this is the moment that changes the game for them. Chloe has become Beca's person and it's weird, really, because the thought of having a person in this life always scared Beca. But this one?
It only makes her stronger, braver.
Chloe rests her head on Beca's shoulder and takes her hand. "I'd put you in my bag if I ever run away," she says and Beca can feel her smile.
"Still don't appreciate the height mockery but okay, deal."
"You're stuck with me now, kid."
Beca only smiles and thinks that maybe, this is also the closest Chloe can get to saying she loves her too.
Day 30. Seven survivors.
Ahh. I teared up writing this.
Chapter title is a Katie Costello song. Check it out! It goes so well with this chapter.
Thoughts?