...um... is anybody there...hello... (man... my voice echoes)
Disclaimer: After taking so much time... I wouldn't have any rights even if it was mine...
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Chapter 4
Kenshin stood still, too stunned at seeing his style being formed by the limbs of his beloved to move or react to the challenge. Then in a flurry of cloth and dark hair, Tomoe was standing between them, worry and fear etched sharply across her face.
"Stop this, Kage-san. I order you to stop."
The amber eyes barely flickered at her words, the death glare they held only for the rurouni solid and menacing.
"Get out of the way, woman." The command was pure growl, without an ounce of remorse or care that she seemed to be determined to stop him. Tomoe's eyes widened, confusion mixing with her mounting fear, but still she did not move. Finally, tawny irises focused on her and stayed.
"I do not wish to hurt you, but you will not stop me from this. Besides," the voice lightened, almost conversationally, his gaze sliding back to the rurouni, "only my mistress wished to protect you in the first place."
Tomoe sucked in a breath, her body trembling slightly at the implication, though a part of her was still confused as to what it could mean. She knew a threat when she heard one. Then Akira was behind her, dragging her out of the way with a hiss in her ear.
"That is not your Kage, Tomoe-sama."
Kenshin, eyes only for the woman before him, tried to wrap his mind around this new development, the situation seemingly impossible. Especially since it had been her he had ached to see for years, and now here she stood, just within reach and yet… he could not touch her. Her soul was buried beneath the thing he feared the most, a thing that was determined to keep him as far away as possible from his Kaoru. Taking a deep breath, his eyes roaming over her one last time, his mind settled on a course of action.
As his body fell into the natural stance of the battojutsu he heard the mayhem erupt around him. Several people vacated the premises, while Misao and Sano both cursed wonderfully at him. Tomoe could be heard pleading into Akira's chest, the material of his gi muffling her words, distressed over this fight between two people who were important to her. Aoshi watched passively.
"Come then." Kenshin's final answer was level, his choice counting on him having more experience to the fact that the hitokiri was merely borrowing a body to use. That and he was hoping that since they both loved the girl enough, neither would harm her. And that seemed to be his only drawback.
The hitokiri smirked, and then they drew.
Colliding head on with the woman he loved, Kenshin found himself realizing his mistake when his own movements seemed to be slightly slower than the other's. Yes he had the more experienced mind, but he was being reminded why Kaoru had been able to hold her position as a respected body guard for the length of time that she had. While he had only practiced on and off, more as a stress reliever and a way to keep his thoughts in order, she had actually been using her body as a weapon for years. When they broke apart, he had no more room for thought, the movements of the other taking up his attention and forcing him to focus completely and utterly on keeping himself alive. The only upper hand he seemed to be able to gain was the knowledge of the style being used, the fact that it was all his own and not an ounce of his Koaru's style in there. The relief from this was profound, as well as the anxiety. Knowing that it was not her he was fighting and yet hurting that she was being submitted to something like that other half of himself. Being able to predict those movements made was helping however, blocking every swing made with an instinctive ease. In the end it was going to be speed that determined who was going to win. Sadly he knew that with his own need not to hurt Kaoru, the biggest advantage went to the hitokiri.
And he was not letting up on him, brutally exploiting every opening, the blatant bloodlust in his eyes informing him that if he was not careful, he would be a dead man. The fear that welled inside of him was reflexive, and with a sudden insight he wondered if this was what it had felt like for his prey when they had fought against the Battosai during the Bakamatsu.
Mind distracted for only a moment, he discovered it was his downfall, the lunge that the other was making only registering a fraction of second too late. Knocked abruptly into the wall he watched in horror as the other, inside the body of his Kaoru, leveled her katana at him and aimed for his neck. Amber eyes flashing in triumph, Kenshin tried to counter, pulling his katana up and to the side, hoping to deflect the blow at the least to an area not lethal... but was distracted once again by the wild shock of blue that flooded his beloved's gaze. Freezing instinctively, his trust all for her and the actions he was counting on her to take, he watched the blade jerk to the side, the tip lodging barely an inch from the bare skin of his neck. Listening to the echo of wood splintering in his ear, staring into the two angry pools in front of him, Kenshin felt nothing but the rapid speed of his heart pounding against his chest.
"Fuck."
The explicit whispered into the quiet of the room, frustration rolling off the figure in waves as his eyes looked not into his own but at the weapon he held, a distant glaze covering them and hinting at another struggle happening within. Warily watching from his flat position against the wall, the rurouni held his breath. Searching for any sign of his Kaoru as her body yanked the sword free from the wood, he watched as she sheathed it, then without a second look, walked out of the building, passing frozen figures in the process. Staring in wonder and fascination, one thought slowly formed in his mind... his Kaoru had just saved his life.
As the last slice of red disappeared from view, the whole room seemed to breathe easier, voices becoming louder in the aftermath as many decided it might be time to leave as well. Relaxing against the wall behind him, Kenshin let out a breath of his own, eyes saddening as the scene replayed before him. Kaoru was here... Kaoru was whole and alive and so close he could touch. She was no longer a dream but a reality... and now that he would no longer have to live through the torment of her being gone... it was replaced instead by this.
"Hey." Looking up into worried brown eyes, Kenshin twitched a half-hearted smile, shaking his head in dismissal before pushing away from the wood. "It wasn't her... Kenshin..." Placing a hand on his shoulder Sano stopped him, trying to make him understand. "That wasn't Jou-chan."
"No... that was something else..." Gently ducking away from the friendly gesture, the rurouni walked back to the others, feet leading him straight the mistress of their party. "Tomoe-dono, you will tell me everything you know about your Kage, starting with the name she gave you." When there was no answer, his eyes hardened along with his voice. "Her real name, what is it?"
"We hired her under the name Kamiya Kaoru." Leaning in and whispering almost too soft to hear, she quickly gave him what he asked for, thinking all the while that she had not seen him this angry since that time before. "Kenshin... please do not ask this of me here... there is a reason we do not talk about our guards and the lives they have outside of us."
Taking a breath to calm himself, Kenshin nodded in understanding, realizing that he should have thought of that before he questioned her. "Then this one thinks it is time for us to leave." Watching as Tomoe turned to Akira, his phone already out of his pocket as he requested the driver to bring the car around, he turned suddenly at the light tug on the sleeve of his gi.
"Himura-san... I..." Misao looked sad and apologetic, her knowledge of the situation not expanding to the true identity of Tomoe's Kage. "I'm sorry, I didn't know... we should have talked to you first."
"You didn't know this one would be here, Misao-dono, so what purpose would that have served?"
"I still can't believe that was Kaoru-chan... that wasn't like her at all. She..." Was so very attached to you before.
"That wasn't Kaoru-dono..." Watching the slightly surprised eyes of the small ninja, Kenshin softened enough to smile reassuringly. "But when this one does find her he will be sure to let you know."
Agreeing readily, Misao pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down a number for him to call, before following the silent form of her okashira out the door, his silent conversing with Sano cutting off with the end of their conversation. With a small bow of acknowledgment, Kenshin turned away, finding the pair behind him to be ready as well, the car already parked out front and waiting for them to arrive. At the door their jackets were retrieved, Kenshin throwing the forgotten length of Kaoru's over his arm with a sigh. Outside the limo sat, the valet already standing by the door and ready to let them in, an anxious set to his face.
"Yukishiro-sama, is everything ok?"
Stopping in confusion, Tomoe pulled the coat tighter around her body. "Hai... why do you ask?"
"I saw everyone leaving in a hurry, and when your Kage-san came to the vehicle alone I was afraid that she had been hurt or dismissed. She did not look well." Lowering his voice and darting his eyes behind him, he stumbled slightly when Kenshin pushed his way passed him. Opening the door slowly, wary but worried all the same, he peeked his head into the dark interior, the lights from the club illuminating the seats minimally and revealing the curled figure on the floor. Eyes squeezed shut in pain, body shivering uncontrollably, she whimpered quietly at the cold wind his entrance allowed in. Climbing fully through the door, Kenshin was next to her immediately, knocking aside the carelessly lain katana and placing a hand to her forehead, wincing at the heat she was pouring off her skin.
"Kenshin, is everything alright?" Entering the car herself, Tomoe looked over his shoulder, taking in the scene with surprise. "Is she ok?"
"This one doesn't know..." Picking the girl up carefully, he tucked her securely against him before settling in the middle seat, watching every response she gave with an observant eye. "She's burning up." Lifting a hand hesitantly, he pulled open one eyelid, sighing in relief when the iris he found was straight blue, the pupil hidden up under her skull. Holding out a hand for the forgotten overcoat Tomoe offered, he wrapped it around her, holding her closer and hoping to share his own warmth with her, to stop the quivering of her muscles. "We need to get her back to your house."
Feeling distantly the seat dip with the added weight of Sano, Kenshin brushed a hand over Kaoru's face, removing the long length of bang to unveil her features. Like this, he recognized her, the sharp nose, her smooth cheeks and the high forehead, long lashes fanning out over the pure whiteness of her skin. Finding it suddenly hard to breathe, his chest aching at finally getting to hold her, he leaned his head into hers, arms tightening and muscles shaking almost as badly as her own.
"You think she'll be alright... what with everything that is happening, I mean? You don't think she's being hurt do you?" Voice uncharacteristically soft, Sano spoke to the red-head, not wanting to voice what he knew they were both thinking aloud. Shaking his head, Kenshin opened his eyes to stare sadly down the curve of her skull, the threads of her hair cutting through his vision.
"What do you mean? What's happening to her?" Almost as anxious as them, Tomoe leaned forward from her seat next to Akira. When neither answered, Akira placed a hand on her shoulder to bring her back, his own voice questioning them instead. "Maybe you should tell us who exactly she is first."
Hesitant and unsure, concentrating on the weight of her in his arms, Kenshin took a breath before answering. "Kaoru-dono... was... everything this one ever wanted... to be... to have..." Saying what he couldn't before, he sat straight to look sadly across to them, Kaoru's body seeming to be warmer with the absence of harsh shivering.
"She is who you were speaking of the other night." Enlightenment dawning, Tomoe smiled, then frowned in confusion. "Then why did she attack you? Why didn't you recognize her sooner?"
"She's so different. Kaoru was so bright... full of life and energy. She always smiled... always... Now, her ki is so dark, and strong... it's much stronger than before."
Studying the drooping figure of the rurouni, Tomoe guessed at another aspect that was bothering him. "You're afraid that if she's changed so much then she might not feel the same for you as well."
"It's much more complicated than that, Tomoe-dono."
"What's complicated about it Kenshin? You already saw how she reacted yesterday... she obviously still has feelings for you, enough so to show through my Kage-san."
"Yeah Kenshin. Besides... I've got it out of Jou-chan before... she's not exactly going to stop caring for you."
Shaking his head at the knowledge he held that they did not, he lowered his eyes back to her. It wasn't that simple... and it would soon show to everyone that it wasn't. After all this time, through both lives... could she still love him... could she still wish to be with him forever? It was such a long time... and he hadn't given her much reason to hold onto any of those feelings. Not after he'd left her, refused her... let her die. Not after he had hurt her. Another chance like the kind they spoke of was too much to hope for from Kaoru.
Fingers suddenly fisting into the inside of his gi, Kenshin watched as Kaoru snuggled closer into him, seeking the heat he exuded by burying her face into his chest and curling her legs tighter, her feet tucking under his thigh. Smiling at the unconscious gesture, he leaned into her again, focusing on the even breathing warming his skin through the material of his shirt. It didn't matter what would happen when she woke up, if she decided he didn't deserve another chance... because he was going to try anyway... as long as it took.
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Pissed and frustrated, Kaoru screamed into the darkness of her mind, tired of arguing with the arrogant presence of pure possessive male living inside of her.
"That was not called for!"
"You didn't want him to touch you either."
"But I didn't want to kill him for trying!"
"I didn't kill him... and he didn't try... he succeeded."
"It was hardly anything to threaten him for!"
"I did not like it. Did you want me to pretend that I did?"
"No, but..."
"You are mine, not his and not anybody else's. He will not touch you and get away with it."
"But how can you do that to yourself?" Huffing out a breath of exasperation, tears present in her voice now, she pleaded with him to understand... like she had tried to for years. "You almost killed him..."
"He is not me... he has nothing to do with me and he will never have anything to do with me."
"Yes he is... he does... you're the same... why can't you see this?"
Silence followed her question, a deathly quiet that made her nervous. "You would have me believe that you want both of us for your own."
Shaky and anxious, she reached to lean into the darkness for assurance. "I do." Faltering at his sudden withdraw, she held in the tears at the outburst this created.
"No... I will not share you with him! It is either him or me, I will not compromise."
"But..."
"Do you remember, Koishii, the day you asked him to stay... that moment you asked our name and told him what you wished for." Taking her whimper as an affirmative he whispered indulgently to her, his voice firm and angry. "You told him that you wanted him to stay... you told him that it wasn't the "Battosai" you were asking, but him, the Rurouni. You made it very clear that day that there was a separation between us..."
"But that's not..."
"That it was either one or the other. You did not want both, you choose only one... and I will not let you change your mind now. It is either him or me. Decide now, Kaoru, because I will not wait... not anymore." Listening quietly into the silence, her muffled sobs not affecting his decision or words, he continued with deliberate care. "As you decide, Koishii, I want you to remember who came to you... who asked to stay... who wanted to stay. Who cared for you all these years, who loved you. If you do not want me, only me, I will leave you... because I will know that you no longer love me as well. I am with you now... but you do not know how easy it would be to leave. The afterlife calls to me... I am here only as long as you wish. I'm not supposed to be here, Koishii, they fight to take me back. If you no longer want me, I can no longer stay."
"Don't leave me... please... I love you." Crying and hurt, she wanted only for him to stay, to not lose the love he showed her. "I don't… want you to go."
Wrapping himself comfortably around her, he felt his own emotions tremble at the need in her voice. "I will stay as long as you wish me to... but I will not give any ground on this, Koishii. I won't let him have you..."
Agreeing softly, she curled tighter into him, snuggling into the warmth and love he had always shown her.
"Then you have decided."
"Hai..."
"Say it for me, Koishii. I need you to say it."
"I choose you... my hitokiri."
Sighing in pleasure and relief, he brushed against her tenderly, feeling her consciousness falling under a wave of exhaustion and with it a stab of shame for being the cause.
"Will you promise me one thing..." Breathlessly pleading, fighting against the sleep she wished to succumb to, she gripped him tighter for leverage.
"Anything my love..."
"Don't hurt the rurouni..."
Fighting to keep his emotions under control, the anger, he pressed her so close to him they threatened to join as one. "Very well..."
"Arigato..."
Moments passed as he let the anger slide, concentrating instead on the pain he had caused her body by taking control. "Kaoru?"
"Hmm?"
"Gomen nasai..."
Smiling at the contriteness, she burrowed harder against him. "Daijoubu... anata..."
Loving the endearment, wanting to show his feelings in a much more intimate way, he instead whispered words of comfort and joy, soothing her into the world of dreams... humming a tune he had long since forgotten.
"Rest, Koishii... I will be here when you wake..."
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A/N: Well, it's only eight pages, but I haven't posted in so long I thought you might like something to read. Sorry 'bout that, I've been so busy... and life sucks... So, if anybody has questions please do ask... and uh, yeah... please tell me your thoughts, concerns, hates, likes, because this story is kind of growing on its own... I really have little to no idea where the hell it is going... which is really nothing new, but at least I have an ending for each of my other ones... I don't have one for this one... I have a lot of shite for the in between stuff... but nothing in particular for an ending... I guess it will grow as well... Um yeah... so if you're reading A Mother's Love... here's the deal... I had twenty some odd pages for chapter five all ready to go... I went back to finish it... and decided I hate the whole damn thing... It sucked... really bad... it had nothing to do with the story... nothing to do with Kenji and was a whole lot of BS that did not help the plot at all... What the hell? So now... I have a grand total of five pages... whoop-e-de-do... so yeah... sorry... well... I'll stop blabbing... thanks for reading...