Girls' Night Out
"Hell no, Qwark."
"What? Why not?"
"Because I'm not getting caught dead in that getup."
Qwark places a box of makeup, wigs, and clothing at his feet, holding in his hands a silky black dress. This disguise trunk just so happens to be a crucial part of the current mission. He claims to have made some questionable business deals a few days ago, and long story short, a nearby club has important documents that need to be recovered as soon as possible.
"Come on, you'd look great in it! Besides, I really need that file. You and Clank are the only ones who can help me!"
Annoyed, Ratchet raises an eyebrow at the suggestion.
"Why don't you just get it yourself? It's not like you've never been in there before."
"Because there might be guards around the safe. As great of a hero as I am, it never hurts to bring along my favorite sidekicks for a good old fashioned breaking and entering!"
Unimpressed with the reasoning, Ratchet rolls his eyes. A flick of the wrist brings his hand to his sinuses to fight the oncoming migraine. A sigh escapes him.
"So you called us to be party guests for a ladies only club, just so you could get some secret file back?"
Qwark's face lights up, and he nods excitedly.
"Yeah, now you've got it!"
Ratchet shrugs, Clank's reminder from earlier ringing in his head. It may be easier to simply play along with this one, Ratchet. It is only for one night, after all.
"Even if I agree to wear that thing, there's no way it'll be believable. Female lombaxes don't have tails."
"Lombaxes are so rare, hardly anyone knows that for sure. Anyway, I brought this!"
Qwark digs into the chest to reveal a kind of girdle that would go underneath the dress.
"...What?"
"So you can go around without showing your tail!"
Ratchet opens his mouth to object, to point out how utterly stupid the idea is, but is quickly cut off.
"And before you ask, I have voice changers too! It's foolproof, Ratchet! So, what do you think?"
Ratchet certainly has a lot of things to think, but refrains from saying them out loud.
…
The cab brings the trio outside of The Sassy Minx, and the thump of the club's music is muffled by thick walls. The passengers step out of the vehicle one by one, taking in the cool night air.
First is Shannon, a broad shouldered woman in a silver ombré dress with sequins. The sleeves stop at her wrists, and she wears a gold necklace. The caduceus symbol dangles from the matching chain. Her makeup is thick, but not grossly so, and complete with lipstick as fiery as her hair. Her heels are elegant, and just as sparkly as the dress.
Next is Kathryn, a small robot with a soft lavender dress. The large ruffles that adorn the sleeves and top could only be described as 'absolutely adorable'. The cloth itself is covered with small, silver polka dots. A simple gold bracelet is worn around her left wrist. She steps forward to wait for the final member of the group.
Roxanne steps out with a bit of stiffness to her step. The black dress from before is seen in its entirety now, the material hugging her body. There's a sash at the waist that ties into a knot at the front, and the left side of the skirt is slit to her lower thigh. Her blond hair, highlighted with chestnut strips, drapes around her shoulders over the v neck of the cloth. She wears simple black flats instead of heels despite Shannon's wishes otherwise. She mumbles to her smaller companion, so that only she can hear.
"I can't wait to get out of this thing. It's like Dreadzone all over again. I hate my tail being crammed into me."
"I am sorry that you must relive such unpleasant memories. Have patience. It is only for a few hours, then it will be over."
"I hope you're right, pal. I just hope these disguises actually work."
Shannon walks toward the Minx, gesturing for her guests to follow.
"Come on girls, let's get inside!"
Roxanne grits her teeth in embarrassment, and slowly walks forward with Katherine.
"I'm gonna kill him, I swear it."
"Oh hush, Roxanne. Hehehe!"
The group heads to the door, showing themselves to the bouncer and gaining access to the building. The pumping music suddenly skyrockets in strength and volume, making Roxanne's ears ring for a moment to adjust. The punch bowl seems an appropriate place to scope out the area, so Roxanne leads the group there. Shannon drops to her level, pointing towards the dance floor. She speaks over the music as best she can.
"Let's get ourselves comfortable, blend with the crowd. Oh! There's a familiar face. I'll go introduce you two!"
"No, stop!"
"I believe it is too late. She is already out of earshot."
Through gritted teeth, Roxanne gestures for her companion to return to the group.
"Shannon, get back here! We're not here to goof off!"
The only answer she gets is an excited wave with the new face Shannon joined. The girl giggles, and start moving towards the lombax and robot.
"Oh dear, we have company."
"Great, end me now."
The young patron, a cazar woman in an elegant red dress, steps forward.
"Hey there, what are your names? Shannon talks a good game about you two, but I haven't seen you around."
"Well, I, uhh…"
"My name is Katherine, and this is Roxanne. We are here to escort Shannon to this party, but we are new to this part of town. What is your name miss?"
"Oh, I'm Lily. It's nice to meet you, Katherine, Roxanne."
As she shakes their hands with each name, the second handshake lingers a bit longer than the first. The last name is almost purred out, and Roxanne is flattered, but too stunned to respond. Does she know I'm...? No, she couldn't..Is she..flirting with me? It must be evident in her face, as Lily giggles at the sight. She turns away with a wink in her eye.
"I'll be on the dance floor, but I hope I'll see you around."
Lily walks away with a swing in her hips, and Roxanne stands in shocked silence. Shannon places a hand on her shoulder in pride, snapping her out of her self induced trance.
"I told you! You look great! Look at you, picking up dates already."
Shannon wiggles her eyebrows teasingly, and Roxanne shoves the arm off.
"Oh, can it. I'm already dating someone, you know that. Let's just..get what we came for."
Women are certainly the strangest creatures Roxanne's ever known, and she'll never quite understand them.
After a few moments of careful planning between the lombax and robot, Shannon slips a handful of bolts to the dj. She pulls her companions to the center of the room. The sequins of her dress catch the colored lights as she begins to dance, her large hip swings being too dangerous to stand close to.
"Come on, you two! Loosen up! Have fun! Go crazy!"
Katherine leans toward Roxanne, speaking lowly.
"We will look suspicious if we refuse. That would compromise the mission."
A defeated sigh escapes Roxanne's lips.
"Ah, screw it."
The music changes to an upbeat song commonly used in groovitrons. The women all hop, spin, and grind to the beat, and the electricity in the air moves with the bass. The crowd watches in awe as Shannon takes the spotlight. Katherine uses the distraction to carefully pull her lombax friend from the dance floor, pointing at the door to the main office. A nod of understanding, and the two walk towards their original goal.
The reflective panels in the back walls catch Roxanne's attention, and she gets a good look at herself for the first time that night. Her body is accentuated by the form fitting cloth, revealing a figure that she never noticed before. A lifetime of preferring slightly baggy pants certainly does that. She allows a smile to spread across her face.
Huh, the more you know I guess. I actually do look pretty great.
"Black is certainly your color."
The robotic voice brings Roxanne back to the task at hand as embarrassment takes over.
"Let's just..keep this between us, okay?"
"Of course."
…
Later on that night, the Q-Force gathers in one of Qwark's summer home bedrooms to store the file safe and sound. As Qwark carefully hangs his dress in his closet, he turns to Clank.
"So, did you get it? You got it, right?"
"The file in question is right here."
Clank removes the documents from his chest compartment, handing them to Qwark.
"I can't thank you two enough. I may not be president anymore, but I can't let this stuff fall into the wrong hands. It's confidential stuff!"
The shuffling from behind the bathroom door ceases, and Ratchet emerges wearing his standard clothing. His tail flicks, as if it's more than happy to be exposed again.
"Man, that's better. That thing underneath the dress was way too tight."
"They're supposed to be, Ratchet! It's so the ladies can smooth out their curves, so it has to be tight."
Qwark's hands move in an hourglass shape with his words. He clears his throat, and continues the conversation.
"Anyways, the Sassy Minx is great, right?"
"I, for one, was quite fascinated to experience such an establishment in the first place. It is a piece of life that, as men, is normally impossible for us to see. Would you agree, Ratchet?"
Clank turns to Ratchet, who holds a carefully folded dress in his arms.
"Ya know, Clank, I guess it is pretty cool when you say it like that."
Qwark loudly gasps at the words, his eyes lighting up again.
"So that means you two would go again? Just to hang out?"
Ratchet smirks a bit, looking away from the man practically begging for another round of clubbing.
"Don't push your luck, Qwark."
…
Weeks later, Clank goes through the closets in his mission to keep their living space clean. Opening Ratchet's reveals the little black dress. It's hung towards the back of the closet, but wrapped in a protective plastic.