Mary Margaret knocked one more time on the door of Prince Thomas and Cinderella's apartment, frowning in confusion when no one answered the door. Ruby pointed out to her this morning that she hadn't seen the couple in a while, and Mary Margaret realized that she hadn't either. She stepped backward and peered to look in the window, but couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. She hesitated a second more, then walked away. She was sure they were fine… Why wouldn't they be?
Regina walked over to her couch, handing one of the coffee cups she was holding to Dr. Whale as she sat down next to him. He smiled at her and spread his arm out on the back of the couch behind her. It was comforting – odd, but comforting – so she settled back against him. Now that it was morning, the decision she had made at the diner the night before seemed a little foolhardy, but there was really no going back now. Robin and everyone else had seen them go out together. Dr. Whale had stayed at her house overnight. Clearly, everyone would think they were together now.
They would be wrong, but that's what they would think.
Regina still felt a little bit embarrassed about stopping things before they went too far last night. She had agreed to it, after all, but Dr. Whale was gracious when she said she wasn't ready to be with him quite yet.
Even though they hadn't truly started a physically romantic relationship, she and the doctor had crossed over into some kind of relationship. She was comfortable and relaxed around him, in part because he knew her secret, but more so because he had shown a side of himself to her that she knew few people saw. No matter what happened, she would always be grateful to him that, when he had realized the truth about her memory, he had offered to help her instead of holding it over her head. It was almost enough to make her wish she could truly forget about Robin and actually take what Dr. Whale was offering.
Almost enough.
Robin sat, staring into the fire pit, absentmindedly playing with his coffee cup. Over and over, his mind replayed the moment that Regina walked out of the diner with Dr. Whale. His jaw clenched when he remembered the doctor's hand going up to rest on Regina's back. How dare that slimeball touch his…
His nothing. Regina wasn't his. She didn't even remember that they had once been together.
Marian sat down next to him, tearing him away from his thoughts and sparking a horrible guilt deep inside his heart. He shouldn't even be thinking about this. He had Marian back…
He avoided looking at his wife. He was afraid she would be able to see everything in his eyes.
"What's wrong, Robin?"
He should have known better than to try to keep it from her. She always knew when he was troubled. He used to love that about her, but now he wished she wasn't able to read him so well. He didn't want to lie to her, but he didn't want to hurt her either. He knew he had to tell her the truth…but how?
"Marian, I…I have to tell you something."
She reached out to cover his hand with her own, and a lump formed in Robin's throat. He couldn't believe how hard this was, until a realization washed over him: it wasn't hard because he was going to tell her that he had been falling in love with someone else…it was hard because he was going to tell her that he was still in love with someone else. He couldn't deny it to himself anymore. It wouldn't change anything, of course. Marian was still his wife. Regina had still taken the memory potion. But…maybe things would be a little easier if it was all out in the open between him and Marian.
"The person I was with before you came back…I can't just shut off the feelings I have for her. I've tried, but….I can't."
After a moment, Robin finally risked looking up at Marian to see her reaction. She was avoiding his eyes, but he could see the pain on her face. He felt lower than he had ever felt before, already questioning whether he had made the right choice. The silence was becoming unbearable, but he bit his tongue to avoid rambling.
Finally: "I understand. It hurts, but I understand. I mean, you thought I was dead. I wish you felt like you could have told me earlier. I've been racking my brain to try to figure out why things were so awkward between us…"
Robin winced and looked down in shame. Of course, she had to be understanding and forgiving – frankly, he would never have expected anything less from her. But he really wished she wasn't. It would have been easier if she raged and cried. It would be easier if she hated him as much as he hated himself. And, with his next words, he knew that would be the case.
"It was Regina." She gasped and drew her hand away from his. Now he couldn't help himself from rambling. He had to explain it somehow, even though he knew she could never forgive him for falling in love with the woman who had once killed her. "I didn't know it was her who had… Obviously, I didn't know. Otherwise I would never… I…She's different. She's not who she used to be. Storybrooke and Henry changed her. And it doesn't mean that I don't love you. Of course, I love you. I just…I…"
She stood and he stopped talking. "Give me some time alone, please," she said, walking away. Robin set his coffee cup down on the ground in front of him and put his face in his hands. He took a deep breath and let it out. He thought getting it off his chest would make him feel better, but he just felt worse.
Especially since if he was being honest with himself, he would have to admit that he was more upset about Regina and Dr. Whale than he was about hurting Marian…
Robin had left for a walk to clear his head, but it was just serving to make him more upset. The townspeople's whispers as he walked past them were not quiet enough and with every hushed mention of Dr. Whale's name, the pain and guilt quickly changed to anger.
He knew it was unfair to be angry with Regina. She didn't remember their relationship, and she had every right to see who she wanted to see – it's not like he wasn't with someone else. He knew all of that, but it didn't change the fact that he was angry with her. It still felt like she was cheating on him. Robin finally had to admit to himself that he had been hoping that, even without her memories, Regina's heart would somehow still belong to him. It was dreadfully unfair of him to want it all, to want Regina to still be his when he could offer her nothing. But he couldn't help how he felt – and he was angry that she would be with someone else so soon after the end of their relationship…even if she didn't remember it.
Stronger than his anger at Regina was his anger at Whale. Objectively, Regina could not actually be blamed, even if his heart still did blame her. But Whale knew better!
With no input from his brain, Robin's feet had led him to Regina's street, and now he was just a few houses away from hers. The temptation to go to her was so strong it left an ache deep in his stomach, and it was his honor alone that kept him from giving in to it.
At that moment, her front door opened, and a spark of fear went through him that he would have to interact with her. But it wasn't Regina that walked out of the house…
Robin's anger exploded white-hot behind his eyes. He covered the distance between them in long, quick strides. He took a perverse pleasure in seeing the flash of fear cross Whale's face before it was hidden by the doctor's usual cocky façade.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Robin was almost a little shocked to hear the venom dripping out of his mouth, and he wondered when exactly he had lost the tenuous control he had over himself.
Whale smirked. The man clearly had a death wish. "It depends on who you ask, I'm sure."
Robin clenched his fists to keep from grabbing Whale by the throat and squeezing the smirk off his face. "What do you think you're doing, Whale?"
The smirk faded from Whale's face, as it appeared he was no longer amused by Robin's behavior. "I could ask you the same thing, Robin."
"She doesn't remember anything, Whale. What are you doing with her? You're taking advantage of her! She -"
"She is of no concern of yours, Robin," Whale interrupted in an icy, monotone voice. "And clearly you don't know her as well as you think you do if you imagine any man could take advantage of her."
"Of course she is my concern! I -"
"No, Robin," Whale said firmly, a look of almost-pity settling upon his face, and the uncharacteristic gravity that had entered his voice was enough to stop Robin from saying what he really should not have been saying anyway. "She's really not. Why don't you go home to your wife?
Robin wanted to punch him. He wanted to throttle him until all the thoughts of Whale and Regina together were no longer racing around in his head. He wanted to hurt Whale, as if it was his fault that what he said was the truth.
But instead, he visibly deflated, acknowledging that it was the truth. He could be as angry as he wanted but nothing would change that fact.
"Just…just…don't hurt her," Robin said softly, before turning on his heel and walking away. He refused to look back over his shoulder, but if he had, he would have seen Regina watching him from her front window.
