So I was really really late and I didn't get a chance to watch 'Sokka's Master' until a few hours ago. It gave me so many beautiful ideas, you would not begin to imagine. Which is why you get this.

Anyways, what was with the title? It should have been something like 'Iroh beasts the world,' or 'Iroh gets totally ripped' or 'Iroh Worship.' Because, you know, all that stuff about Snoozles was totally filler crap. That episode was all about Iroh.

This was born of a conversation after a football game.

I love and adore Iroh. Just thought I ought to put that out there.

Iroh is made of awesome.

But I digress. This fic is supposedly about Zuko and Sokka and the shameless punishment of their ignorance by the fates.

But I love Iroh!!

Cheesecake

"You just don't understand it because you don't have an imagination. Or a soul." - A student, on why my history teacher does not like Lord of the Rings.

"So."

"So."

"Yeah."

"Yep."

"Yeah."

"Mm-hm."

"Seriously, guys, can't we think of something to do while Sokka's gone?"

Katara glanced up lazily at Aang and shrugged, while Toph turned to 'look' at Aang. "Maybe we could save Iroh?"

"You mean Zuko's uncle?" Aang ignored the angry hiss from Katara. "We don't even know where he's being held."

"Yeah, but we could find it."

"We don't even know —"

Toph suddenly jumped up. No one messed with her BFF, and Aang was not even going to suggest . . . that. "Quit bothering me with illigitimates! Pretend like we already know where he is! How are we going to get him out?!"

"We could bring him a cheesecake!"

"So we could have an excuse to get in. Ok, we're getting closer . . . ."

"Actually, I was thinking we could make a really big cheesecake, and put you inside it, and then sneak you in, and once we get you to Iroh, you can bend a hole in the wall, and then we can all leave!"

Toph blinked. Oh, how she missed Sokka. "Ok, no. No, that would never work. First of all . . . ."

Toph's senario

Rando M. Floozie's job had never been quite the same after The Dragon of the West had been incarcerated in his tower.

General Iroh had been his childhood idol. He had all the action figures, posters, even a shrine in his closet dedicated to the famed general, but when he fell from grace after the fiasco at Ba Sing Se, so to had Rando. This was how he managed to be a guard in the prison tower, unable to earn any glory in the war.

At first he had tried to make life a little easy for the aging general, not making a fuss over his royal nephew's visits. But it was just so tiring, so disappointing, to watch his childhood idol wasting away into dotage.

So that might have effected his feelings on the two children who showed up at the tower, carrying a rather large cheesecake between the two of them.

"Why is that cheesecake the size of a small earthbending child?"

"Certainly not to hide a small earthbending child, sir!" the boy said, smiling his most innocent smile.

"Mm-hm. And why is there a snorkel in the cake, about where the head of the hypothetical small earthbending child would be?"

The girl caught this one. "It's important to keep the cake aerated, especially when they are this large. It's definitely not for a small child named Toph Bei Fong, sir."

"Yeah." The guard squinted at the two children. "I think I'm going to have to confiscate that cake."

"What?!" both children cried out in outrage. "How can you do that?! General Iroh has a sucky family and a sucky life and now you're just going to make it worse by denying him the most amazing food in the history of junk food! You monster!" Aang shouted, while Katara cried quitely in the background.

It was unbecoming of a guard to feel pity, but all those things were true. The royal family royally sucked. The prison tower smelled really bad as a rule of existing, and being cramped in a small cell all day in the smelly tower must have been bad. So he let the children go.

Eventually Toph, with the sort of helpful help of Aang and Katara, was able to rescue Iroh.

End

"Well, I suppose it wouldn't turn out too badly," Toph continued, tapping her jaw thoughtfully.

"Why couldn't you just bend a hole in the wall in the first place?"

"Shh!" Uh-oh.

"Sokka!"

"You're back!"

"Quick!" Toph said, jumping up and grabbing the watertribe boy by the arm. "You gotta help us go save Iroh!"

Yeah. Iroh could paint himself green and call himself the 'Friggin' Incredible Hulk,' only that's insulting because that movie was awful, and Iroh is the opposite of everything awful.