Esta vez sí no se me olvida la leyenda porque la voy a meter en el documento de Word de una vez:
"Texto" = Dialogue in Spanish
"(Text)" = Dialogue in English or another specified language
Text = Character's inner thoughts
Text = Sound effect
Text = On-screen text
Chapter Three: Primeros auxilios, arepas, y una rumba e' coñazos.
I'm making my way to my late grandparents' room, where Yuri is grabbing some decent sleep despite the fact that we have a temperature of 29 Celsius degrees, and a termic sensation of 33 degrees. I try to get in the room as quietly as I can, to no avail because the door lock creaks and the hinges squeak like crazy, this, however, doesn't seem to bother Yuri, as she remains soundly asleep with her school uniform (including the blazer unlike Sayori and Natsuki) still on. I make my way to the AC unit in the room, plug it into a 220 V power socket, and start it up. I remain there for a couple of seconds to make sure the AC is starting properly, and once it passes the frió-test de Luis I look at sleeping beauty for a while, pondering with my thoughts.
She's gonna need a sábana, also someone's gotta take that blazer off her, it looks hot. Thankfully abuela bought a verguero of sábanas in her lifetime. I think to myself
With that I go to the room's closet/dressing room, that nowadays feels more like a museum of our family's history, consisting of my grandparents' old clothing, photo albums, old food containers that now hang on the wall proudly, working as windows to a bygone era of prosperity, and finally a shitton of covers and sheets. I grab the thickest covers I can find as I know the AC unit in this room tends to make it feel like the South Pole and head back into the room, where Yuri is already feeling the cold breeze, as I see her shivering.
I extend the covers and lay them over Yuri, making sure they cover her feet and up to her chest. Normally I'd cover the person's head too for extra comfort, but these girls are a giant box of surprises. As I begin to head out, I remember something.
Coño, I forgot taking off her blazer.
I return to her and begin unbuttoning her blazer, once that's done I try to take it off her and… It's safe to say it's a difficult task without waking her up, simply pushing and bending her arms to pull the sleeves would surely wake her up, and lifting her to pull the whole blazer from beneath isn't an option because vergación, Yuri is heavy as a saco e' cemento.
A la verga, let's push and bend her arms to pull the sleeves and see what happens. I'd likely need a batallón to lift her. If she wakes up I'll see what I can do.
With those thoughts lingering on my head I get on with it. I curl each one of Yuri's hands into fists and push them under the blazer's sleeves, then I start pulling the right sleeve whilst slightly contorting her arm to pull it out, which succeeds without waking her up, I can notice now that she's wearing a long-sleeve vest shirt like the rest of the girls, but the sleeves of hers are stained brown in several spots.
I don't need to be a NASA scientist pa' saber that this is dried blood and that it's a self-inflicted wound. It's useful knowing the source material, as disturbing as it might be.
I sigh at the mere sight of it and shrug it off, I then move on to the left sleeve, I once again push her hand into the sleeve, but as I grab her wrist to contort her arm…
"Hssss! Hssss!"
Yuri starts hissing and wincing in pain.
Así que… Does Yuri cut her left wrist? This is worrying.
"Aguanta… (This won't end unless you bear with it, just a little longer…)" I coo as I contort her arm and keep pushing
Eventually, I push her arm out of the blazer's sleeve, and I can see that the shirt's left sleeve is even more stained in brown than the right one, there are even some red spots on it.
Coño Yuri, you're gonna be a peo to deal with.
"(Yuri, I'll be right back, roll up both of your sleeves as I go get something to clean up those wounds)"
"(Who… Are… You…?)" She replies half-asleep, and her voice is… Honestly, as I expected it. Shy, quiet, yet very refined, also she surprisingly sounds very mature, like she's 30 rather than 18-19
"(I'm Luis… Your friend and landlord from now on)" I introduce myself as I start looking for something on the drawer where all of my grandmother's make up lays around
A ver… Antiseptic alcohol… Curitas… And algodón. That's it. I mentally list all the things I've picked up as I go back to Yuri
"(Alright then, let's start where the worst cuts are. Yuri, hand me your left arm)" I command and she meekly complies
"(I… Where am I…? And how do you… Know me...? Luis? Right?)" She naturally asks
"(Yuri, you're on my late grandparents' room on my house in Maracaibo, Venezuela)" I say before I start disinfecting her arm with a cotton ball soaked with alcohol, to which she reasonably reacts with wincing in pain a bit "Quietud chica…"
"(V-V-Venezuela?! B-bu-but I was at home yesterday!)" She says a bit panicked
"(Look, all you have to be is patient and all of your questions will be answered when I can, I know you are as overwhelmed as I am, but try to be as cool as I am as well, okay?)" I answer as I lay some Band-Aids on her cuts after disinfecting them "(Now the right arm)"
"(And, why are you overwhelmed?)" She asks as she extends her right arm to me
"(Well, it's not every day that four videogame chicks come out from my monitor, blowing it up in the process)" I nonchalantly say, not paying any attention to my answer
"(What?! Videogame?! Coming out from a monitor?! Four chicks?!)" She panics
Vergación, la tenía que cagar.
I hold her right arm tightly in place as I disinfect it before I sternly address her.
"(First of all: Calm down. I can't work very well if you panic. Secondly: As I said, I'll answer all your questions later. But not now, the others also need to be present because I'm pretty sure you all have plenty of explaining and catching up to do)"
She takes several deep breaths before answering me.
"(… Okay, but can you answer a simple question for me right now?)"
I place the final band-aid on her right arm before answering.
"(There you go, you can roll down your sleeves now… Also, yeah, shoot the question)" I answer as I pick everything I used up and get ready to store them again
"(Who are the other three?)" She inquires as she rolls down her sleeves
"(I am pretty sure you know them, they are your clubmates after all)" I reply as I close the drawer where I stored all the tools
She simply remains silent.
"(Look, you're probably itching to meet them, but Monika and Sayori are tying some loose ends and Natsuki's probably asleep. So why don't you have some more rest? I'll call you and the others for dinner. If you can't sleep, the TV remote's under the pillow. I've got cable by the way)"
As I open the door to leave, she speaks again.
"(Hey!)"
I remain in the threshold to hear anything she might want to say.
"(Umm… Thanks… For the hospitality and all…)" She nervously thanks
"No hay porque, (it's my duty as the owner of this house that all of my guests feel at home… Also, how many arepas can you eat?)"
"(What is an arepa?)"
"(I'll just make two for you… Also, for your sake. Stop cutting yourself)"
And with that I cue my leave, leaving Yuri wide-eyed. Time to meet Natsuki.
After meeting Yuri for the first time (Which is something I'm glad of having experienced) I'm on my way to deal with Natsuki. The little pink tsundere is a whole different ball game than the shrinking Violet I just met, so of course, I have to be prepared. I start approaching the guest room carefully and defensively… Just in case.
I poke my head into the guest room to get a feel of the place and… It's alarmingly empty.
¿Qué? ¿Dónde anda esa coñita?
CREEEAK One of the kitchen cabinets squeaked loudly, although the hinges of the cabinets squeaking aren't anything new, mom was out, and the others were either on their rooms or in the living
WOOOF! WOOOF! My little puppy, Borje, barked at something, or rather, someone
"(Oh for love of-shut up dog! I'll give you something in a minute!)" A childish, energetic, and overtly cute voice complained, I can tell who it is…
I take a peek at the kitchen, only to see Natsuki on top of the kitchen counter and messing the cabinets, probably looking for food.
Tengo un ideón…
"Hey! ¡¿Qué hacéis up there?!" I say to her, startling her
"(Huh?! What?! OH NO!)" She realizes the mess she's in and gets down from the counter, only to run for the locked door to the backyard in desperation "(Huh?! Locked?! This can't be!)"
I start to approach her menacingly.
"(Friend, I don't know if you can understand me but, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to try to get food without telling anyone! I thought I was alone!)" She desperately says as she seeks protection behind her left arm
I just stand there, for a few seconds in silence.
"(… Aren't you going to umm… Punish me…?)" She nervously asks as she tries to face me
I then ruffle her hair out of nowhere.
"(If you wanted food, you just had to say it Natsuki. I'm no monster, there's no punishment for being hungry other than not eating)" I answer as wrap my right arm around her and pull her back to the area where the counters and cabinets are
"(Huh? How do you know my name…? Also, are we going to cook?)" She asks nervously
"(Well, I was about to make arepas for everyone on my own, but if you want to help out that's fine, after all, four hands are quicker than two)"
"(Yeah, sure…! What's an arepa though?)"
"(It's basically a corn bun which can be filled with basically everything, from simple combinations like butter and cheese to more complicated things like the Reina Pepiada, which is in honesty a fest of ingredients. And each combination is very delicious on its own)" I explain, my mouth lightly watering
"(I see… What are you going to do today though?)" She asks out of curiosity
"(Meh, something simple because I haven't gone grocery shopping since momma left for Mérida a week ago. Mozzarella cheese, sauce, and chicken bologna)"
"(It's not very… Delicious-sounding…)"
"(Oh, just you wait. I'll blow your tongue away like your cupcakes do in the world of sweets)"
"(HA! As if a measly corn bun filled with bologna and cheese is going to beat my cupcakes)" She counterclaims, feisty as I expected her to be
"(Want to bet? If it ends up being delicious you'll wash the dishes)" I propose with sass as I take the elemental ingredient of every arepa, la harina PAN
"(If it ends up being overly simple like I know it will turn out to be, you will tell me all the truth of where exactly am I, who are you, how you know me, my cupcakes, and other things)"
"(Hey, I was going to tell you anyway. And even if I didn't tell you I am pretty sure Sayori and Monika will get you up to speed)"
"(Wha-)"
"(Before you ask further, yes, they are around, along with Yuri. But the former are settling some differences between them, and Yuri's likely asleep, so it's best not to bother them. You can either help me cook or watch TV on the room you woke up at if you want the time to whoosh by)" I cut through Natty's attempt to talk to debrief her as I dump the kilo of harina PAN in a bowl and then a cup of water on it
"(Okay then… What can I help you with?)" She inquires, willing to help to get the food ready
"Okey, (I need salt, more water, from the jars in the freezer please, and a burner and the oven on. ASAP)"
Cooking with Natsuki? Yeah, it's gonna be a ball.
Sometime later…
After making all the arepas we would need to feed us all and filling them, I found out that Natsuki's extremely proficient at learning new recipes and ways to cook. I'm pretty proud of her since I taught her how to give the dough the characteristic shape of the arepa and how to make said dough. And it's a step toward making these Dokis tan Venezolanas like Bolívar, la arepa, y la cédula. With all the arepas served (which ended up being quite a few: four for Sayori and Natsuki, two for Monika and Yuri, and finally five for me), Natsuki and take a look at our handiwork.
"Mollejúo, como este que está aquí" I say as I pat myself for a job well done
"(What?)" Natsuki asks confused, obviously not getting what I just said in Spanish
"(It means that we did a pretty amazing job, Natsuki, you're a really fast learner… It's a shame we wasted that much flour though, I'll have to go to Nasa tomorrow and do) una colita"
"(Sure, it's a shame, but this girl right here learned how to make arepas! Wooo! The first dish outside of sweets!)" She enthusiastically says, proud of her achievement
"Si, te felicito. (Not to mention that Borje is doing a party with all the dough that fell on the ground)"
I then point at my dog, who is eating a big ball of dough that slipped through Natsuki's hands before.
"(Once again, I'm sorry for that and I'll clean it up… Eventually…)"
"(Nah nah nah, you're cleaning that right away. I'll call the others so we can eat and have some chatty, go for the broom and the collector. I'll mop later)"
"(Oki doki!)" She says enthusiastically
"Vergación, la frase me da grima" I mutter to myself
With that, I go and seek for the girls, the first one is Yuri since my grandparents' bedroom comes first then the living room, I open the door only to startle Yuri, who is watching TV from the bed.
"(Eeeeh?!)" She jumps in surprise
"Yuri, a comer"
"Ahí voy…" She meekly says in a Spanish accent, but I manage to catch it
"(Wait, you speak Spanish?)" I ask perplexed in English
"Si, very fluently" She replies in Spanish
"Así me gusta, can you try to teach the others later? They're obviously going to need it if they don't want to stick out like a sore thumb"
"I can try… Pero no te puedo garantizar nada" She replies as she gets up from the bed
"Just… Just do whatever you can, alright?"
With that I go to the living room and call Sayori and Monika over, the former got on a mad sprint to the kitchen as soon as she heard the prospect of food, I guess some things never change.
Now we're all gathered in the kitchen, and as Sayori and Natsuki devour what's on their plates very quickly, Monika decides to spike a conversation without touching her food.
"(Well, friends… I know some of us are confused as to why are we in this place, who is this guy, and how we banished from home)"
"(Finally you're answering the billion Yen question)" Natsuki snaps back before going back to eat her second arepa
"(Actually, it's hard to put this into words… Well, remember our literature club and all?)" Moni continues
"(Umm… Yes?)" Yuri nervously interjects
"(It's hard to say it but… It was actually a whole different reality… Inside a videogame)"
"(WHAT?!)" Natsuki and Yuri scream, the former even spitting some arepa chunks
Sayori simply sighs, swallows her food, and intervenes.
"(Sadly, what Monika is saying is true, I can vouch for her)"
"(B-b-but how?!)" Yuri asks in a panic outburst
"(Well, it's very hard to explain without reference material…)" Monika says with a bit of shame
"(That, I can provide. Ladies:) Miren y callen" I say as I draw my phone, open the Youtube app (In this case a non-official one because I am a Windows Phone user) and look for a non-commentary walkthrough of DDLC, then show it to them
What's gonna happen when they see the entire score ain't gonna be pretty.
About three hours later…
So, after reviewing all the events of DDLC, with the insight and commentary of Monika, Sayori, and yours truly. Natsuki and Yuri are horrified, the former nearly puked her guts out but for some reason continued eating, and the former just kept staring at Monika with dead eyes every time that some weird shit happened. We all remain silent for a second…
CLINK! CRASH! AAAAAND that's the sound of a plate crashing and breaking against the back of Monika's head, courtesy of Natsuki.
"(THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING SAYORI HANG HERSELF!)" Natty says angrily as she then prepares to give Monika the beat-up of her life
"¿!NATSUKI?! ¿¡Y A VOS QUÉ COÑO-" I try to say as I lunge at her to stop her, only to be deterred from further action by a swift kick in the nuts. Coño e' la madre that shit did hurt a ton
I recoil in pain and lay in the ground for a couple of seconds.
"(THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU! SO STAND THE HELL BACK!)" She then punches Monika in the abdomen, making her kneel in pain only to receive a kick in the face, marking the beginning of a nosebleed as she goes limp "(AND THIS IS FOR DELETING US ALL!)"
"(NATSUKI! STOP!)" I plead as I slowly stand up
"(WHY?! THIS WHORE DID HORRIBLE THINGS, AND YOU EXPECT ME TO DO WHAT?! FORGIVE AND FORGET?!)"
"(I AIN'T EXPECTING YOU TO DO THAT!)" I scream as I finally stand up with the pain mostly gone before regaining my cool "(Look, I'm not expecting you to forgive and forget what she did, that shit ain't easy unless you're stupid. But what I am asking you to do though is to stop the violence! Not only it makes the man up top sad! We also can't take Monika to a hospital!)"
"(WHY NOT?!) She asks furiously
"(Because unlike me, none of y'all have official documentation that proves your status as a living human, heck! None of y'all even have a surname) por vida de Dios! (And the first thing they do on a hospital once you get in is asking for your full name and ID number, both of which I'm sure Monika doesn't have, so they can justify the usage of their medical expertise and supplies to the ministry of health)"
Natsuki eventually steps away from the beaten mess that is Monika right now.
"(Thank you Natsuki, really-)"
"(I am doing this out of consideration for you, not her. You hear me?)" She menacingly remarks
As I get closer to Monika, I steal a glance to Yuri and Sayori, who kept away from the commotion.
"(Some friends y'all are huh)" I say with venom to them as I start checking up Monika
I start to do some damage assessment. The back of her head has some cuts, she's having a nosebleed, and she's unconscious to top it all off.
"Coño, está desmayá' y le rompió la nariz. I don't think I have enough gasa for this" I say to myself as I ready myself up to carry her in bridal style to the living room to attend her wounds and let her sleep there
¿El comienzo de una nueva vida, no? Una vida bien jodía más bien.
La Nota: Querido Randomidiot, VERGACIÓN. ¿Cómo sabías lo que iba a pasar? XD.
(Copy-paste from the previous chapter) Now. Perhaps the most unique thing about this story is the abundance of Venezuelan Spanish phrases and slang used throughout the dialogue, and after each chapter, there will be a section explaining the meaning of each phrase and/or slang, take it as a glossary:
Verga: Lit. Penis. In the context used it means shit or damn, overtly used as a filler word in Maracaibo.
Vaina: Non-vulgar filler word. Normally used to replace 'Verga'.
Vergación: Stronger version of "Verga", commonly used in Maracaibo to denote frustration and/or awe.
Encadenado(a): Lit. Chained. In the context used it means a person who just can't shut up
Mijo: Diminutive of "Mi Hijo". Meaning "My son" in English.
Pana: Friend, partner.
Marico: Lit. Queer. In Venezuelan Spanish, it can either conserve its original meaning as an insult or be used to address a friend.
Mariquera(s): Used to tell someone it's speaking bullshit.
Primo: Lit. Cousin. In Venezuelan Spanish, it can also mean "friend".
Cagar, cagada: Lit. Take a shit and turd respectively. In the context used it means 'fuck it up' and 'fuck up' respectively.
Breva, brevera: Breva is used to undermine a person who isn't very attentive to the world surrounding them, whilst brevera is used to insult the activities they make.
Mardito: A damned thing or person.
Asaltacunas: Lit. Baby stroller jumper. In the context used it means an older person who likes minors sexually.
Nojoda/'Joda: A word to express disappointment, and/or unconformity.
Picarse, picó: Getting salty and/or touchy after friendly banter hits too close to home, picó is in the past tense.
Formatiar/formatié: To perform a hard reset on a device or formatting a flash drive, formatié is in the past tense.
Resetear: Same as above, sans the formatting part.
Megas: Used to refer to Megabytes and Megabits.
Largas: Delays/Delaying something.
CANTV: The unreliable, slow, state-owned internet service provider.
LOPNA: The Venezuelan ministry of protection to minors.
Cable quemao: Burnt wires/wiring.
Llegó la Luz: Lit. Lights have arrived. In the context used it means that electricity has returned after a blackout.
Coño de la madre/Coño de tu madre: The former is used to express that something isn't okay, whilst the latter is used to call someone a son of a bitch.
Este coño(a) si pesa: This person sure is heavy, vulgar phrase.
Lo que pesaís es verga: A phrase meaning: You sure are fucking heavy.
No me jodas: Don't fuck with me.
Así me gusta: That's how I like it.
Saco de cemento: Cement bag.
Ahí voy: I'm going.
Gasa: Medical bandages.
Pero no te puedo garantizar nada: But, I can't guarantee anything.
Grima: Mild disgust, chills.
This glossary can and will be extended on future entries.