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Jules was sitting in the dining room having breakfast when he realized how early it was. He had been zombie walking all night long, not only because he had been sleeping next to Emma almost all day long at the infirmary but because he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened with the Seelie. He knew he had to let it go but deep inside his heart he knew his parabatai was right and that these deaths were not a pure coincidence. Could they go against the Clave without any consequence or any punishment? He perfectly knew the answer to that question but he was also aware that when Emma had an idea fixed in her mind she would never turn the other cheek.
Jules was taking a sip from his coffee when Helen burst into the room. He was surprised that no member of the Clave was following her.
"Good morning" she said, with a big smile on her face.
Jules bow his head just to greet her and just stared at her for a brief moment; he never realized how pale Helen was, but he had always loved her hair, blond as Emma's but so much whiter, as if she was being illuminated by some sort of halo between her all day long.
She took a cup of coffee and she sat in front of Jules, still a little sleepy.
"How is Emma holding up?" she asked. Jules knew she had good intentions but he could not hide how mad he was at her after agreeing with the Clave.
"She is better now" he replied "Well, after the news I delivered her yesterday I don't really know now."
Helen stared at Julian for a moment, almost begging him to understand her, as if she could contact him through her eyes. Jules was so vulnerable around few people and Helen was one of them; he could not be mad at her forever but right now he felt as if following Emma's sick plan was the best option.
"Julian. Do you know how hard this is for me? I can't go against the Clave when the majority thinks otherwise, it's not that easy" Helen sighed, a little tired. "You are also aware of how the Clave distrusts me for my blood, for not being one hundred percent Shadowhunter. Do you think they'd like me if I were to defend the fairies, after all they have done to the Shadow World? After all they have done to us?"
Jules could not believe Helen was bringing his brother's subject up, he could not bear when she talk about him not because he didn't want to remember but because he wasn't strong enough to do it. In his mind, he always dreamt about that day, when they took him, when his life became worthless.
"Are you then saying you will not do the right thing just because it would tarnish your image to defend the fairies even though, this time, they have nothing to do with this?"
Jules voice sounded judgmental but he could not hide his disconcert, not when Helen was talking nonsense.
"I'm saying I will do what is best for this family, for you and your brothers. And for Mark" She stood up, leaving the coffee on the table, her arms crossed over her chest "I know Emma had this kind of feeling about finding her parent's assassin. I'm sorry but she has to realize that not everything that evolves murders has to do with them. You might do that as well."
Jules shook his head, wondering who the person in front of his eyes was as she looked nothing like his sister.
"I can't believe what you're saying," he mused, "After all that Emma had to endure..."
Helen closed her eyes for a moment, almost analyzing what her next words were going to be and Jules was expecting them, preparing himself for the worst.
"I know, Jules. I'm sorry but…"
"What would you do?" Jules was the one who stood this time and now he pointed her with his finger. He was out of control. He didn't remember the last time he was this angry. "If Aline had lost both parents, murdered in cold blood, and you had even the slightest clue of the whereabouts of their killer you'd be sitting doing nothing or would you fight for the person you love more than anything else?! "
Helen froze and she made no sound. Julian realized what he had said just seconds later when he saw his sister's reaction. Why he felt so exposed? Why she looked at him as if she knew there was a double meaning behind his last confession?
Julian could not wait for his sister's response because he turned around and almost ran out the door of the room, aimlessly, just to get away from her and everything he had said.
How those words had escaped? Had he lost his mind?
An abysmal rage began to rise from his feet, invading his chest and the Shadowhunter had to pause for a moment to catch his breath. Julian leaned his forehead against the wall and relaxed, absorbing the tranquility and silence of the Institute at that time of the morning.
Now, he had ruined everything.
Emma had been locked up in her room almost all day. She was still recovering from her recent wound but the truth was she was gathering courage to do something she had been analyzing all day long.
She was in the hallways now, running towards the library, she could not wait anymore because she was about to explode.
When she arrived she was glad when she saw Clary having a cup of tea while she was reading a book. She didn't want to bother her, as she seemed so absorbed in her reading, but she knew that if she didn't do it now she would never gather the strength to speak to her again.
"Clary"
The red haired girl raised her head and gave Emma a warm smile.
"Emma, are you alright?" She really seemed concerned. "I went to the infirmary this morning but you weren't there anymore. I guessed you were just resting in your bedroom. I didn't want to wake you up"
Clary's words sounded just as words Emma's mother would said; she knew Clary was not as old as her mother was but she found in her some parental love she had lost when their parents were murdered. Clary was more like a big sister to Emma, but she felt like she could ask for her advices just like she did with her mom.
"I'm fine. Thanks" Emma replied, sitting next to her. She showed the scar that now it was healing thanks to Julian's iratze. "I think you already know why I'm here, Clary."
Clary's eyes were as green as ever, just as green as the meadow she had dreamt about the other night, right before it turned dark and burst into flames. She had a long ponytail and she was holding a pencil, Emma guessed she was just taking some notes from the book she had in her hands.
Clary closed the book and stared at her.
"So…you heard about the Clave." She sighed, and Emma felt a hope flourish inside her chest.
"Julian told me about it yesterday. I know this is going to sound a little crazy and I understand if you want to report me to the Clave but I was hoping you could help me with this. I know that Sebastian's followers are still alive, I don't know how many of them but there's no need to be a big crowd to convince a few demons to turn against us again. To turn more Downworlders against us, as they did years ago. Clary, I'm begging for your help. I can't let this happen again, I will not stand to see more Shadowhunters or Downworlders killed because of them. What if they mess with the people we love again? I can't bear the thought of losing Jules or Tavvy…"
Emma was now out of air. She could not hide her concern, her need to do something about this matter, the need to protect the few family she had left.
Clary nodded her head and Emma thought she was dreaming.
"You are right, Emma." Clary said, as if she already had been thinking about this. "My brother was a powerful Shadowhunter and I have no doubt that he left a lot of his followers even after his death. The Clave doesn't want to admit this is a big issue, as usually. But, if my children are going to live in this world I can't be worrying about a mad fanatic killing them in some alley just for revenge. I would not allow it."
Emma wanted to hug Clary so bad, she wanted to tell her how much she admired her tenacity and her power to make decisions. She had so many things she wanted to say yet she stayed silent.
"Are you telling me what I think you are telling me?" Emma muttered; too surprised to say anything else.
"I'm going to call Jace this evening and update him with this recent news. We will gather some more Shadowhunters and we are going to be out to the fields in two days or three at the most. I know this is a silly question…Are you sure you want to come Em?" Clary met her gaze full of concern and, at the same time, tenderness. "This is going to be dangerous and we will be going against the Clave. You are young and maybe you could think about this twice."
Emma stood up and held her stele hard against her chest and looked at the roof, as she could see her parents there, watching her, proud of her decisions, proud of her bravery.
"I've never been more prepared for something in my entire life" Emma kneeled in front of Clary, as a sign of redemption but also a sign of gratefulness. "I'm in, Clary."
Helen was not sure about what was she was about to do. She held her phone close to her ear, almost as if she was asking the thing for permission to do it.
She dialed Aline's number and she picked up at the first tone.
"Sweetheart" Aline answered with her soft voice.
Helen was silent for a second and she was about to hung up when Aline spoked again.
"Baby, are you alright?" She sounded really concerned "You are scaring the hell out of me…"
"I'm fine" Helen answered, a little bitter. "I need to talk to you."
"Do you want me to come to the Institute? You don't sound so good"
Helen laid down in her bed, her head spinning yet wondering if she had to keep her feelings or tell her right away.
"What do you think about Emma and Jules?" she asked and it sounded as a naïve question.
Helen couldn't see Aline but she knew that if she were here, in front of her, she would make an awkward face.
"What do you mean?" she questioned her "Like brother like sister. Why are you asking me this Helen? Has something happened to them?"
"Everything is alright, honey." Helen thought she was going nuts or insane. "I don't want you to judge me but I don't think they see each other like that anymore."
"What do you mean? They are parabatai."
"That's exactly what I mean. They are bound to be together until… "Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried. The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me". She remembered perfectly the oath, she could never have a parabatai because of her blood but she had studied it many years ago.
"Is there a logical reason of why you are reciting me the parabatai oath? Should I be concerned?" Now Aline's voice wasn't soft anymore, yet she sounded comprehensive.
Helen gather all her forces to say her next words, she almost whispered them as she knew she wasn't allow to say them.
"I think they love each other, Aline."
"We already know they love each other."
"Not like brother like sister. They love each other like I love you or you love me."
"Oh…Shit" she gasped, behind the phone.
"That's what I've thought" Helen replied "Oh…Shit."