Chapter 4: see what gets left behind
"We need to take the fight to Red John," Lisbon finishes. She's convincingly passionate.
"It's dangerous," Jane says in a last ditch effort. He knows that she knows he has already made up his mind.
She suggests they use another agent for the charade. But if Red John knows anything about Patrick Jane, then he knows Jane wouldn't lose his focus for anyone less than Lisbon.
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It has been generally acknowledged that when Jane elects to do something he elects to do it well.
On the walk back to the offices Lisbon glances across at him. "You look like you're planning a con, Jane. I don't like it."
"Con, vital undercover operation; tomato, tomahto," says Jane with a grin.
Lisbon smiles and it feels like a little victory. He goes on with his scheming.
"We need a safe house."
"My place is clear," she says. "I've had it swept for surveillance since Carmen was there." She's clearly embarrassed by the admission of weakness.
"Right." Jane doesn't comment further. "Then, Lisbon, we need a catalyst - some occurrence that would make our upright agent finally succumb to my charm and tumble into my arms. Do we have a snowy cabin at Lake Tahoe to get trapped in for a few days?"
"No. No way," says Lisbon. "Besides I'm too busy."
"Hmm. How about some kind of fancy ball? I'll be floored by your timeless beauty in a ball gown and you'll be stunned by my debonair appeal in a tuxedo?"
"I've seen you in a tuxedo," says Lisbon.
"Ah yes, and I've seen you in a gown." Jane says. "Timeless indeed. Perhaps we just need to get very drunk." She looks at him dourly. "No, that wouldn't be my preference either... Car accident? I could rush ventre a terre to your bedside, believing you dying, and pour out my heart."
"Jane," she begins.
"Oh please, Lisbon, are you telling me that facing your own imminent mortality you wouldn't proclaim your love for me?" he asks.
She laughs out loud. "I didn't last time," she says.
"No. That time you punched me in the nose," he admits.
"You don't need to pretend to seduce me in some kind of twisted Jane spectacle," she says. "We're in this together. We can just go to dinner. Make some physical contact in public."
"Physical contact. I assume you mean making out, macking, getting down?" She swipes him on the arm. "This is all so prosaic," he says. "We can't be just a little bit starry eyed?"
She looks at him with a crooked smile. He reaches for her hand as though it's no big deal, hooks it under his arm. They continue. She doesn't pull away.
He isn't certain if they are role playing yet. One latent barb in this enormously risky plan is that she may no longer be transparent to him.
"I wouldn't have chosen this for all the world, Lisbon," he says. Then he throws her a grin. "But I figure we might as well enjoy it."
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The next day Van Pelt cracks a case with some nifty computer kung fu. It's the perfect opportunity to get the team into Lisbon's safe house of an apartment and bring them up to speed under the guise of case closed pizza.
Lisbon outlines the plan. "It's a long term thing, guys. I know it will mean a lot of time on call. And it's off the books with the CBI until we have a result."
Van Pelt opens her mouth to speak. She pauses and closes it again, looking at them doubtfully.
Lisbon looks at her and says, "I approached Jane with this, not the other way around. It's the right strategy. Our first responsibility is to catch Red John. Any other concerns have to be secondary."
Her tone and word choice are perfect to assure Van Pelt.
Cho looks from Lisbon to Jane. "Okay," he says briefly.
"What do you need?" asks Rigsby.
"We'll work this on two fronts," says Jane. "To begin with Lisbon and I are responsible for playing the role of two people in love." He ignores the slight choking sound from Lisbon beside him. "You three need to bring the buzz."
"The buzz?" asks Van Pelt.
"The rumours, the gossip, the innuendo. Van Pelt, I recommend you go about it with mysterious smiles, maybe a romantic sigh or two. Rigsby, you should focus on telling people that we are not together. At all. Protest too much. Cho-" Jane pauses.
"I just won't discuss it," says Cho.
"Fine. Cho won't discuss it at all."
Lisbon speaks. "I know it doesn't need repeating, but this doesn't leave the room. We can't trust anyone, CBI or not. As this goes further we'll need all three of you on back up."
"It is absolutely essential that we protect her," says Jane.
Lisbon rolls her eyes. "It's essential that we protect Jane," she says.
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Sometimes Jane goes home.
He chose this apartment for its location. He can leave the balcony doors wide open and hear the noise of downtown Sacramento all night. Also the apartment has an internal spiral staircase which seemed amusing at the time.
Generally when he's there he lies in bed and waits for the street cleaning to start at 5 am. Sometimes he does laundry.
Tonight he leaves the apartment in semi-darkness, with just the yellow glow of the city lights streaming through the bare windows. There is no furniture here save the bed.
Jane sits on the floor and runs a finger over his wedding band. He is still for some time. Then he takes a deep breath. He stands. He considers saying something to the air, but there's no one here anyway.
It is surprisingly difficult to remove a wedding band. He places it on the kitchen bench.
He doesn't cry.
There is a cold corner of Jane's brain. It's not the kind of space that will ever be warm. In it is the last fight he had with his wife, her eyes on his. In it is his obliviousness and stupidity in baiting Red John. In it his daughter dies begging for her daddy.
His daughter was all clear eyes and too many questions. She was the future. Every time he carried her sleep-heavy body to her bed and tucked her in, he was making her a promise. He spoke to her while she slept against his shoulder. Nonsense, mostly. Sometimes he'd tell her how proud he was of her.
He looks at the wedding band on the bench. Once it was a promise to love and cherish. Now it's a promise of vengeance. He's not really sure who he is without it.